[the1element]

I've never had a first date at my place that involved dinner..

I have no clue what to have,

Any guys got ideas?

She can't eat seafood.

The chick is in college, 20, lives with parents so she probably isn't going to be too picky.

[ThatGuyFromHawaii]

Well just a thought here but try an think of a simple meal that you have had that you really enjoyed and see if you can make that same dish(es) for the your place dinner. Salad, Pasta, Bread and wine combo.

[Rocha]

Stick to the basics, grilled or fried meat with carbohydrates or vegetables, some examples:

-Fried chicken breast with laminated almonds, and some basmati rice or sautéed vegetables/mushrooms
-Fried pork chop with sliced french fries or sautéed vegetables/mushrooms
-Cow/pork skewer

[the1element]

(02-15-2018 04:28 PM)Rocha Wrote:  

Stick to the basics, grilled or fried meat with carbohydrates or vegetables, some examples:

-Fried chicken breast with laminated almonds, and some basmati rice or sautéed vegetables/mushrooms
-Fried pork chop with sliced french fries or sautéed vegetables/mushrooms
-Cow/pork skewer

Good ideas for next time,

Went with enchiladas...

Let's see how this turns out.

[torridon747]

Pasta Carbonara is easy quick and seems sophisticated

Bitches love Tacos

Shish Kebabs with a good side is fun too

[Batman_]

I usually just make some spaghetti/fettuccine or tacos with a salad. Did salmon a couple of times but I'm not so good at cooking it right. I prefer to keep it simple and give them plenty of time to drink while they still have an empty stomach.

[AneroidOcean]

(02-15-2018 04:50 PM)the1element Wrote:  

Good ideas for next time,

Went with enchiladas...

Let's see how this turns out.

Let us know how it turns out.

Frankly, if you're going to cook for a girl that can be a great way to bring her closer to you if you approach it right.

1. Make something you know how to make and have had good results with in the past.
2. Women love a man who can take charge. Take this opportunity to give her direction. Give her easy stuff to do that helps you. If there's only a couple things to help you with that's fine, but make sure to give her a few things to do so that she has buy-in but also so she is submitting to help you.
3. When you don't have anything for her to do, you have her sit and tell you about her day or about an experience she had that she enjoyed, or something like that. All the while she sips on some wine or something else you prepared for you both to drink. If either of you get low you can have her top you up (because clearly you're busy).
4. Listen to her, flirt with her, but don't be afraid to ignore her for a bit when needed in order not to screw up the meal.
5. There are many meals you can make that are simple yet have multiple courses. This can be as simple as starting with some crackers/cheese with your wine and ending with a simple scoop of ice cream or some dark chocolate, to as elaborate as you feel like.

Don't do it just for her, make something you enjoy and that you know you can cook well.

[the1element]

(02-15-2018 09:44 PM)AneroidOcean Wrote:  

(02-15-2018 04:50 PM)the1element Wrote:  

Good ideas for next time,

Went with enchiladas...

Let's see how this turns out.

Let us know how it turns out.

Frankly, if you're going to cook for a girl that can be a great way to bring her closer to you if you approach it right.

1. Make something you know how to make and have had good results with in the past.
2. Women love a man who can take charge. Take this opportunity to give her direction. Give her easy stuff to do that helps you. If there's only a couple things to help you with that's fine, but make sure to give her a few things to do so that she has buy-in but also so she is submitting to help you.
3. When you don't have anything for her to do, you have her sit and tell you about her day or about an experience she had that she enjoyed, or something like that. All the while she sips on some wine or something else you prepared for you both to drink. If either of you get low you can have her top you up (because clearly you're busy).
4. Listen to her, flirt with her, but don't be afraid to ignore her for a bit when needed in order not to screw up the meal.
5. There are many meals you can make that are simple yet have multiple courses. This can be as simple as starting with some crackers/cheese with your wine and ending with a simple scoop of ice cream or some dark chocolate, to as elaborate as you feel like.

Don't do it just for her, make something you enjoy and that you know you can cook well.

Man this fucking sucks to write about,

The dinner went fine, we watched a movie and had a good time but we didn't bang.

Made out, and that's it.

I feel like a failure as a man in some ways.

I tried to push further, you know pull her top off and so on...

No dice.

We made out after the movie and then she came to my bed and laid there while I made out with her a bit...

She then told me she needed to leave, and she said I hope you're not mad so I just told her it doesn't matter to me. Do what you want.

Eventually, she left...

Infront of the door we made out and I looked at her and said you know, it's a good idea you decided to leave. I wouldn't be able to keep my hands off you if you didn't.

Fuck man...

The worst part about this is she was telling me how she got fucked in a tunnel, church and so on.

I'm sitting here like, this fucking girl gets fucked in a church and you couldn't bang her
when she drove 40 minutes to your place...

This sounds stupid, but I just kind of feel like a failure as a man and wonder if girls just don't see me as a sexual person...

God damn.

I need to sit down and figure out the lessons learned from this. I wish I could unlock just the animal in me but I feel blocked...

Sexually blocked,

Even though I've banged I think 17 girls in my life.

She does think I'm a player though, so maybe she just doesn't want to get pump and dumped because she actually likes me...even though I told her I want nothing serious.

But for some reason, I just don't feel sexual as a man.

I hope this post hasn't turned into a whining fest and I definitely need to figure some shit out...

I'm not fronting over her, I have more dates lined up but I really feel like I should have been able to get a bang out of this and I'm sure I will next time we hangout.

Edit: Thinking this one over -- I need to just stop being so laid back, and go after what I want.

Edit 2: I think I get too focused on conversation...again. My fault. I try to have good conversation thinking good conversation, she laughs = time to kiss and then kiss more conversation and then sex. I need to just be more sexual overall...

I could feel I wasn't turning her on enough, I could tell when I was kissing her.

Edit 3: The above is why so many of the girls I do bang, are usually inexperienced. They take my game as "game" but when a girl whos had sex a few times is with me, they don't see me sexual and my game doesn't get them going.

I need to be more sexual. I feel like a sexual dud. Too much good conversation.

I'm thinking of one of my best achievements with game was when I banged a co-worker last summer. We went out for ice cream once with co-workers and the vibe was great. I wasn't trying to extract depp information out of her and then we planned a date which I ended up cancelling and telling her to come to my place. She came and we chatted, I definitely made sexual comments and was sexual here becase we were making out pretty quickly and soon banging.

I think I've gotten too caught up with focusing on deep conversation and getting to reveal her secrets and stuff. I can just feel, when I have girls over that there's just nothing sexual happening. I can feel that, I need to change that. Definitely.

I also think with this girl, I could have banged her if I went for it earlier not super late like I did.

Lot's of game lessons here....

Sucks....

But I feel if I can just keep learning and reflecting on my mistakes, I will get good and I will be the player I want to be.

[SteezeySteve]

"Aye ma I met this nice girl and wanna impress her. Whats your sauce recipe? yeah yeah and the meat ball recipe to. How do you make the chicken parm nice and crispy like that?"

Even if you have to lie tie in the ethnic angle and tell some story about how this recipe has been in your family for generations for style points. Thread makes me appreciate coming from a family with old country roots. Girls eat that up like fresh parsley.

[Ringo]

@the1element:

Beat yourself up just enough to learn from your mistakes, but don't beat yourself up about it too much.

Sometimes there's things out of your control.

Maybe she was on her period (girls don't always disclose that information).

Maybe she was resolute about not banging that night.

Maybe she wasn't turned on by you. In that case, there's only so much you can improve - at the end of the day, chemistry is chemistry.

From your report, here's what I believe you could improve upon:

- Did you (both) have alcohol? Personally, I don't drink, but I do enjoy smoking weed. A little wine or weed goes a long way to create a good, relaxed vibe.

- Forget the movie after dinner. After you eat, either get her to help you with washing the dishes - helps with rapport, compliance and flirting -, or just chill on the couch and listen to music. Obviously this is when you escalate.

- Since you enjoy having conversations, one thing that is fun and often gets girls aroused is to talk about something while your body language gives a different vibe. For example, you tell a story and meanwhile you're slowly but surely getting closer to her, massaging her legs, hands walking up her legs, grabbing her hands, getting your face close to hers and smelling her hair, etc.

Still, none of those can guarantee you'll get the bang. Sometimes you just have to accept that there's nothing you could have done. Learn to differentiate when you could and when you couldn't change the outcome and you'll be a happier man.

[Blackiavelli]

@the1element

I feel your pain. In my early 20s this happened to me a few times, on 3 different occasions.

I had just gotten my own place, and in my mind it was going to be a revolving door of pussy. Eventually I was able to achieve some kind of abundance but it took time, work, refinement and iteration.

What I learned was that before I could run I had to properly crawl first. You can’t rush the process of growth. If you figure out a way do so, then please let me know.

I remember once I had this smoking hot chick come over to have dinner at my place. I had to have been 21/22 at the time. She wore skin tight leggings, a black tank top that was too tight, and her large breasts were practically perched under her chin. So supple, so much cleavage, hands down one of the most beautiful women I have ever had a chance with. I felt the pressure. I wanted the bang, but ultimately I did not get it. I ended up sleeping in my bed, in my queen sized bed big enough for two people, and she slept in my living room on the couch. In the morning when it was time to leave and I put her in a taxi, I asked her if I would’ve invited her to come cuddle with me, what would her response be? She said she would have happily said yes. Then she gave me a kiss, hopped into the cab and said she’d see me around. I never saw her again.

Another time, not very long after, I had another chick come over for dinner. Beautiful, but not in that visceral, gut turning way like the other girl, but still nice enough to where I would proudly want to be seen in public with. Problem I made this time was I spent way to much time on meal prep, and I didn’t get her involved as
much as I should, and I also had forsaken the three phases of game as laid out in the MM. Again, no bang, and I never saw her again.

Third time, and this was when I finally got sick of this pattern, was with another beautiful chick. Again, all within the same 2 year span.
Somehow I had been fortunate enough to atleast have some modicum of game to spark an interest in these attractive women, and have then come over to my house. Because I actually texted her on a whim one weekday night as I was coming back home with my roommate. We had never officially hung out, I simply grabbed her number while on the train one day. Within 30 mins she came over.

She was high energy and probably drunk or high and my roommate who was better than game at I did picked up on this and instantly he had better energy and rapport and was able to mirror her better. I got jealous, Said F it, then cut him off and took her to my side of the apartment. Immediately she’s on my couch and we’re chatting and she turns the conversation sexual. A part of me was still a bit upset that she practically gave my roommate flirty vibes so I wasn’t really able to open up and game like I wanted. We smoked a little weed, she kept up with her sexual flirty vibe then Within an hour she was gone. Never heard from her again.

After these exepriences my ego was shot. I had learned some hard lessons about myself. And I had to humbly accept that I was not as good at this game thing like I thought I was. I also learned that to get better I would need more practice, and that I would need to take it seriously and treat it like a skill I am trying to acquire, and approach with discipline and determination.

I learned that I could not be afraid. That fear was completely useless and that if I wanted to get the bang I always had to be sure of myself and that it was my sole responsibility, not that of the woman, to lead things forward. I also learned not to forget about the fundamental progression from meet to sex: attraction, comfort, seduction.

I learned that I had a lot of emotional stock placed in receiving validation from women, and that if I were to become good at this, I needed to be as internally validated as possible. A great book that helped me achieve a breakthrough with my inner game was Gorilla Mindset by Mike Cernovich. His self talk technique, which involves monitoring your internal dialogue and reframing the negative things you say to yourself with more positive affirmations was a breakthrough for me.

I also learned, many bangs later, that women ultimately are not worth the trouble, and that they should never become my number one priority, and that with women you are always losing. With enough practice and shift in my mindset I was able to achieve a level of proficiency that I can be happy with. These days my main problem involves finding enough time to spend with the women in my life. I’m currently only have time for 2, but the hungry lion in me is constantly seeking out a 3rd plate only to have her fall off the back of the truck because of not enough attention haha.

At any rate, I feel your pain buddy. I was you at one point in my life. Investing much into the bang, not getting it, then becoming frustrated.

The only way forward, friend, is to keep setting up those dinner dates at your place. Keep getting more dates, and keep refining your process. Eventually it will click for you and you will achieve your success. Keep putting those numbers up and don’t let these bitches get you down.

[heavy]

Easiest thing if you can run to the store...Stir fry with chicken.

Here's what I do. Don't over-complicate it.

Buy 2-3 different veggies (green pepper, onion, asparagus for example) and a roasted chicken. When you get home, cut up the veggies, steam a little, then fry a little.

While the veggies are cooking, separate the chicken breasts from the chicken. When the veggies are done, chop up the chicken and throw it in.

Rice is optional, but super easy with 5 minute rice if you want.

Garlic and soy sauce. Don't overdo the soy sauce, it's very salty.

Super healthy, easy, and unless the chick is a vegetarian, she'll love it.

(Use the leftovers for lunch next day. Just fry up some scrambled eggs for more protein if you want and mix it in.)

Edit: Never have the premise that you're cooking her dinner. You're cooking dinner, because that's what you do. You create and prepare, and you don't even really have to think about it much, just throwing something together for dinner and lunches. Oh, and it tastes delicious and you love to share with anyone who will enjoy it...in this case, her.
You aren't creating a world for her. She's stepping into your fun, fragrant, delicious world.

[Jetset]

OP, from your description, I wouldn't be surprised if she reaches out when she's horny.

Play it cool and don't burn the bridge.

[robreke]

Tough that you didn't get the bang after that work.

Back to the original topic though. When I invite girls over to "cook" for them, here's what I do:

Drive to whole foods and go through the buffet line.

Pick up grilled chicken, roasted sweet potatoes (or some good grilled veggie mix) and some greens.

I come home and put those in ceramic plates in the refrigerator and cover and then throw away the whole foods boxes.

When she comes over, I tell her I recently finished cooking and heat up the food in the microwave and serve on plates.

Add some wine and she's impressed. I don't like wasting time cooking.

[H1N1]

One thing that doesn't get talked about here much is kissing. Being a good kisser is an extremely effective way of getting girls into bed. I think the lack of writing on this leaves out a crucial part of game that a great many men could turn to their benefit. Almost all girls I've ever kissed have complained to me of how bad most men are at kissing. It strikes me that in a good kiss, you ought to be titillating her with the promise of every aspect of a great romance - tenderness and affection, intense sensuality, and at times total dominance and her complete surrender to your lead.

There is a world of game in a single kiss. From the soft, playful, comfort building brushing of lips that mimics the early stages of seduction; to those first gentle bites so redolent of the leap one makes in first making explicit but measured overtures of carnality - the moment where, both in the kiss as in the seduction, you invite her in to something rather larger and more intimate - seeking reciprocation and escalation; to the judicious use of tongue, leading sensuality, but always promising that there is more to come.

Equally the effective deployment of your hands, soft at first, focused on her face, shoulders and waist, the places that make her feel small and in need of protection when in your arms - the gentle tilting of her chin to meet your mouth, and the careful repositioning of her mouth for you to better explore it; then the more assertive use of the hands, once comfort is established, as you start to gently bite her lips running your hands through the hair at the nape of her neck, pulling her in gently but firmly as you bite to take more complete control of her, pulling her in by her waist too, perhaps, at the same time; and then as with the tongue, starting to use the hands to show the possibility of intense sensuality to come - running the thumb gently but firmly up the front of her throat to her chin as you withdraw the tongue and bite her lip, before reverting to the careful and tender use of the lips alone - withdrawing that intensity almost as soon as you offered it, so that she comes back hard chasing it - always controlling the tempo, escalating and withdrawing, but each time building to a higher point, and withdrawing to a level that is still greater than the last.

Done right, I think a single kiss should have her aching for you hands across her body, so that when you do, eventually and calculatedly, brush the side of a breast with the palm of your hand as you pull her in tighter under one of her arms, it's both a blessed relief for her, and yet increases her desire and frustration, enhances the potential for further aching for you, and allows you to string matters out still further until she manifests her overflowing desire by whimpering when you touch her throat, or tits, or pull her hair.

When you really kiss a girl in a way that excites and teases her with the promise of a thousand unrealised fantasies that are now there on the tip of her tongue, I don't believe they are actually capable of putting up LMR. I can't think of a single occasion in my adult life where I have encountered it once I've managed to engineer a kiss in a location conducive to intimacy. Very often my experience has been that girls I've kissed for probably no more than 5 minutes will quite literally start stripping, or groping for my cock, or placing my hands on their pussies to show me that they are dripping.

[ksbms]

What I'd recommend and what I would do if I was running foodie dates is the following. First, go together to get groceries. it will allow you to hammer down the frame and make her invest. That's what really matters. In the supermarket tell her to get X, Y and Z. Be a master and commander of the ship. Physically move her around. Make all feel as if you guys were a couple. Pay for groceries, but tell her the wine (it's not about being cheap - psychologically, the more you invest in something, the more valuable it is.) is on her.

Go home (maker her carry at least one bag - you guys are in it together. Obviously, don't make it too heavy for her, lol). Go to the kitchen, get the groceries out of the bag, chill a bit, pour wine (white is better, red stains lips and teeth too much, also tannins affects breath really bad in my opinion). Go to your room, tell her to sit on the sofa to chill more (she shouldn't be wearing shoes by now. Ideally, upon entering your apartment you should tell her to take them off. If she'd decline, it would be a red light).

Bang.

After you banged, make her cook for you two.

[kaotic]

Element when the hell did this chick tell you she got fucked in a tunnel and a church ?

The fact shes volunteering these things is rather interesting.

Are you trying to sexualize the convo by asking these questions with girls ?

[the1element]

(02-16-2018 09:58 AM)Jetset Wrote:  

OP, from your description, I wouldn't be surprised if she reaches out when she's horny.

Play it cool and don't burn the bridge.

I texted her a few minutes ago, told her

"Fun night last night."

And then she said

"Yea, thanks again for having me!"

(02-16-2018 11:37 AM)robreke Wrote:  

Tough that you didn't get the bang after that work.

Back to the original topic though. When I invite girls over to "cook" for them, here's what I do:

Drive to whole foods and go through the buffet line.

Pick up grilled chicken, roasted sweet potatoes (or some good grilled veggie mix) and some greens.

I come home and put those in ceramic plates in the refrigerator and cover and then throw away the whole foods boxes.

When she comes over, I tell her I recently finished cooking and heat up the food in the microwave and serve on plates.

Add some wine and she's impressed. I don't like wasting time cooking.

This is good dinner advice, I will have to try this next time.

(02-16-2018 11:42 AM)H1N1 Wrote:  

One thing that doesn't get talked about here much is kissing. Being a good kisser is an extremely effective way of getting girls into bed. I think the lack of writing on this leaves out a crucial part of game that a great many men could turn to their benefit. Almost all girls I've ever kissed have complained to me of how bad most men are at kissing. It strikes me that in a good kiss, you ought to be titillating her with the promise of every aspect of a great romance - tenderness and affection, intense sensuality, and at times total dominance and her complete surrender to your lead.

There is a world of game in a single kiss. From the soft, playful, comfort building brushing of lips that mimics the early stages of seduction; to those first gentle bites so redolent of the leap one makes in first making explicit but measured overtures of carnality - the moment where, both in the kiss as in the seduction, you invite her in to something rather larger and more intimate - seeking reciprocation and escalation; to the judicious use of tongue, leading sensuality, but always promising that there is more to come.

Equally the effective deployment of your hands, soft at first, focused on her face, shoulders and waist, the places that make her feel small and in need of protection when in your arms - the gentle tilting of her chin to meet your mouth, and the careful repositioning of her mouth for you to better explore it; then the more assertive use of the hands, once comfort is established, as you start to gently bite her lips running your hands through the hair at the nape of her neck, pulling her in gently but firmly as you bite to take more complete control of her, pulling her in by her waist too, perhaps, at the same time; and then as with the tongue, starting to use the hands to show the possibility of intense sensuality to come - running the thumb gently but firmly up the front of her throat to her chin as you withdraw the tongue and bite her lip, before reverting to the careful and tender use of the lips alone - withdrawing that intensity almost as soon as you offered it, so that she comes back hard chasing it - always controlling the tempo, escalating and withdrawing, but each time building to a higher point, and withdrawing to a level that is still greater than the last.

Done right, I think a single kiss should have her aching for you hands across her body, so that when you do, eventually and calculatedly, brush the side of a breast with the palm of your hand as you pull her in tighter under one of her arms, it's both a blessed relief for her, and yet increases her desire and frustration, enhances the potential for further aching for you, and allows you to string matters out still further until she manifests her overflowing desire by whimpering when you touch her throat, or tits, or pull her hair.

When you really kiss a girl in a way that excites and teases her with the promise of a thousand unrealised fantasies that are now there on the tip of her tongue, I don't believe they are actually capable of putting up LMR. I can't think of a single occasion in my adult life where I have encountered it once I've managed to engineer a kiss in a location conducive to intimacy. Very often my experience has been that girls I've kissed for probably no more than 5 minutes will quite literally start stripping, or groping for my cock, or placing my hands on their pussies to show me that they are dripping.

I actually enjoy kissing but I think it was just too robotic, I really like what you said in the 4th paragraph and first.

I try to mix it up with kissing, slow fast, delicate and aggressive.

"It strikes me that in a good kiss, you ought to be titillating her with the promise of every aspect of a great romance - tenderness and affection, intense sensuality, and at times total dominance and her complete surrender to your lead. "

This is good...I'm curious, whats your approach to the other aspects of game..say conversation and non-verbal communication.

(02-16-2018 12:08 PM)ksbms Wrote:  

What I'd recommend and what I would do if I was running foodie dates is the following. First, go together to get groceries. it will allow you to hammer down the frame and make her invest. That's what really matters. In the supermarket tell her to get X, Y and Z. Be a master and commander of the ship. Physically move her around. Make all feel as if you guys were a couple. Pay for groceries, but tell her the wine (it's not about being cheap - psychologically, the more you invest in something, the more valuable it is.) is on her.

Go home (maker her carry at least one bag - you guys are in it together. Obviously, don't make it too heavy for her, lol). Go to the kitchen, get the groceries out of the bag, chill a bit, pour wine (white is better, red stains lips and teeth too much, also tannins affects breath really bad in my opinion). Go to your room on the sofa to chill more.

Bang.

After you banged, make her cook for you two.

I actually thought about this last night before the dinner date. I would have to try that next time, which should be soonish (if I do a dinner at my place date again..)

(02-16-2018 12:12 PM)kaotic Wrote:  

Element when the hell did this chick tell you she got fucked in a tunnel and a church ?

The fact shes volunteering these things is rather interesting.

Are you trying to sexualize the convo by asking these questions with girls ?

Ah, this was my sexualizing the conversation...

I asked her what was the most adventurous thing she has done, or was it craziest...I can't remember but it was one of those questions.

She told me about a rowing party and it was at a church...

I sort of picked up by the way she said

"It was wild"

That she got fucked, so I just asked her..

You had sex didn't you.

And then she told me the story.

One thing I've been told I am good at is making people comfortable, I've always had this sort of ability and if a girl likes me they usually feel comfortable with telling me stories of depravity.

[ksbms]

(02-16-2018 01:27 AM)the1element Wrote:  

The worst part about this is she was telling me how she got fucked in a tunnel, church and so on.

I'm sitting here like, this fucking girl gets fucked in a church and you couldn't bang her

Care to drop more info about this? What kind of a tunnel? A Second World War tunnel or a subway tunnel or something else?

In a church but with whom, a priest (joking)?

Sometimes girls confabulate outrageous stories to see how you react.

Meet again, push for more - it's all good as long as you make progress.

[the1element]

(02-16-2018 12:42 PM)ksbms Wrote:  

(02-16-2018 01:27 AM)the1element Wrote:  

The worst part about this is she was telling me how she got fucked in a tunnel, church and so on.

I'm sitting here like, this fucking girl gets fucked in a church and you couldn't bang her

Care to drop more info about this? What kind of a tunnel? A Second World War tunnel or a subway tunnel or something else?

In a church but with whom, a priest (joking)?

Sometimes girls confabulate outrageous stories to see how you react.

Meet again, push for more - it's all good as long as you make progress.

hehe, with a priest on the altra

(joking)

Yea, I'm gonna go for another meet.

Maybe do drinks this time.

[Jetset]

(02-16-2018 12:08 PM)ksbms Wrote:  

What I'd recommend and what I would do if I was running foodie dates is the following. First, go together to get groceries....Go home (maker her carry at least one bag - you guys are in it together....After you banged, make her cook for you two.

^ I have accidentally gotten laid like this. It's solid. You can't underestimate how valuable it is to build comfort by making her feel like a mini-wife.

Heavy's stir-fry suggestion is golden because there's a bunch of ingredients so you both have jobs you can do, it's hard to fuck up, it's colorful and it sizzles so it's fun, and it smells great.

[Rocha]

Quote:

The worst part about this is she was telling me how she got fucked in a tunnel, church and so on.

I'm sitting here like, this fucking girl gets fucked in a church and you couldn't bang her
when she drove 40 minutes to your place...

Ok. The key is here.

The moment she started to tell you all of that stuff you should have shut her down immediately.

I know we all as men have some morbid curiosity about hearing these stories, and some girls know that.

You should have said "Listen honey, I just talk about sex with someone I had already sex with", "I don't like to talk about sex, i'd rather do it", "actions speak more than words, so please take off your pants", "If I tell you my stories you will never look at me the same way, so in the same way, I don't want to hear that"... something along these lines.

Next time, even if you feel the slightest curiosity, remember Lot from the Bible and how he did not turned his back while Sodoma was burning, and his wife became a stone after disobeying God commands.

[kaotic]

(02-16-2018 12:37 PM)the1element Wrote:  

Ah, this was my sexualizing the conversation...

I asked her what was the most adventurous thing she has done, or was it craziest...I can't remember but it was one of those questions.

She told me about a rowing party and it was at a church...

I sort of picked up by the way she said

"It was wild"

That she got fucked, so I just asked her..

You had sex didn't you.

And then she told me the story.

One thing I've been told I am good at is making people comfortable, I've always had this sort of ability and if a girl likes me they usually feel comfortable with telling me stories of depravity.

Interesting, I'm the opposite, I never ask about their sexual history or crazy stories, even after I fuck them.

It could be this "comfort" style of asking could be somewhat of an Achilles heel - because it's messing with your head. I can tell because you were frustrated you couldn't bag her that night.

Like gents have said - don't burn this bridge, keep in contact.

[ksbms]

(02-16-2018 12:49 PM)Rocha Wrote:  

Quote:

The worst part about this is she was telling me how she got fucked in a tunnel, church and so on.

I'm sitting here like, this fucking girl gets fucked in a church and you couldn't bang her
when she drove 40 minutes to your place...

Ok. The key is here.

The moment she started to tell you all of that stuff you should have shut her down immediately.

I know we all as men have some morbid curiosity about hearing these stories, and some girls know that.

You should have said "Listen honey, I just talk about sex with someone I had already sex with", "I don't like to talk about sex, i'd rather do it", "actions speak more than words, so please take off your pants", "If I tell you my stories you will never look at me the same way, so in the same way, I don't want to hear that"... something along these lines.

Next time, even if you feel the slightest curiosity, remember Lot from the Bible and how he did not turned his back while Sodoma was burning, and his wife became a stone after disobeying God commands.

Gold advice. It's possible that her telling you these stories activated her anti-slut defense mechanism. So she is a chaste girl now who only accepts wining & dining...

[Rocha]

(02-16-2018 12:58 PM)ksbms Wrote:  

(02-16-2018 12:49 PM)Rocha Wrote:  

Quote:

The worst part about this is she was telling me how she got fucked in a tunnel, church and so on.

I'm sitting here like, this fucking girl gets fucked in a church and you couldn't bang her
when she drove 40 minutes to your place...

Ok. The key is here.

The moment she started to tell you all of that stuff you should have shut her down immediately.

I know we all as men have some morbid curiosity about hearing these stories, and some girls know that.

You should have said "Listen honey, I just talk about sex with someone I had already sex with", "I don't like to talk about sex, i'd rather do it", "actions speak more than words, so please take off your pants", "If I tell you my stories you will never look at me the same way, so in the same way, I don't want to hear that"... something along these lines.

Next time, even if you feel the slightest curiosity, remember Lot from the Bible and how he did not turned his back while Sodoma was burning, and his wife became a stone after disobeying God commands.

Gold advice. It's possible that her telling you these stories activated her anti-slut defense mechanism. So she is a chaste girl now who only accepts wining & dining...

I don't it is related to an anti slut mechanism, because she is a straight slut if she feels comfortable talking about that stuff.

It is more on the guy, that starts to visualize all this stuff in his head and starts to make mistake after mistake, starts to get horny loosing his cool and composure.

A man should never loose his cool and composure.

Few talk about this.