Quote: (12-20-2017 04:59 PM)oilbreh Wrote:
Didnt read the whole thread but sometimes people get offended when people are just having fun, just make sure thats not the case. If not, sounds like a pretty toxic company, I wouldnt want to work at a place where I didnt have a few friends that put me before the company itself.
There is some truth to this. For what it's worth, I've definitely been guilty of taking people serious before when they were just playing around. I'm not sure if this is what was going on with OP - I kind of just took him at his word that it was not goodnatured teasing. Either way something to take into consideration.
There's a dynamic between men that a lot of people miss growing up, especially in a culture where boys don't operate in groups the way they used to. Men constantly test each and show/build affection through ribbing - any guy who has run with a crew for a while or especially been in the military or plays sports can likely recall the ongoing nature of this even if they didn't consciously register what it was all about at the time.
In fact, I was reading somewhere recently about how letting other men tease you is common even for alpha males in a group, to the extreme of the alpha subconsciously expressing submissive tendencies to boost his buddy up in front of others. It seems obvious when you think back on leaders you've been around in your life. Only the biggest power trippers never let their guard down, and the lack of social awareness probably amounts to them not being the greatest leaders in the end.
I wish I could remember where I was reading about this because it's pretty fascinating - I think it's a part of male interaction that we don't talk about in this space enough, probably because in some ways we've lost touch with how male groups function. Or maybe it is being discussed at length and I just missed it.
I think it's usually obvious when someone is making fun of you that shouldn't be, but in the past I've definitely gotten this wrong and unnecessarily gotten aggressive with men who were close to me, or who were trying to become better pals, because I thought they were challenging me or trying to punk me...when they were really just showing their brofection. Not sure how I let this dynamic slip by me growing up with brothers and running around with groups of guys a lot, but somehow on a certain level it did.
I've acknowledged the sticking point and gotten better about it in recent years, though.
Again, may not be relevant to the OP but an interesting topic.
Beyond All Seas
"The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe.
To be your own man is a hard business. If you try it, you'll be lonely often, and sometimes
frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself." - Kipling