[Duke Main]

I haven’t contributed much to this forum because frankly there’s so much knowledge represented her there’s not a lot I can add. My best contribution may be to ask a few probing questions so the more knowledgeable guys can do what they do.

Online dating has been a complete bust for me since I recently became single again. I’ve created a profile with good photos prior to traveling to Bangkok, Cebu, and Lima. The responses have been disappointing to say the least. A lot of fatties and oldies, very few desirables. I don’t believe I have unreasonable expectations. I’ve had better offers here in the US, I believe solely because I’m more attractive in person, physically and in other ways, than I’m able to portray online. So I think the best way forward for me is boots on the ground in a fruitful environment. Hence, I’m posting this in the travel section.

I’m mid 50s (here’s where I insert the obligatory,”I look younger than that” disclaimer), reasonably fit and good looking, airline pilot, with an agreeable personality.

Due to my job I can live almost anyplace. At the moment I’m considering the following situations:

1. live in Las Vegas, spend one week per month in either Guadalajara or Panama City
2. Houston…Bogota or Lima or San Jose CR
3. Orlando…Santo Domingo DR
4. ?

In other words, I'd live in a major US city and travel frequently to a foreign city where my smv is higher. I feel if I quasi live in one of these places I can repeatedly frequent the same gym, bars, restaurants, etc…and gain a level of confidence with the locals, leading to introduction to the kind of women that appeal to me. In the short term I’m looking for serial monogamy while being open to a true LTR with the right lady.

I hope this situation resonates with a few of you and we can have a good exchange.

[Brother Abdul Majeed]

Online dating isn't meant for older guys. You are already filtered out by most of the women that you'd find desirable (and even by a few that you wouldn't).
However, in person, if you can learn to turn on the charm at the right moments you might be surprised at who's interested in you.

When women sit in front of their computers they are flipping back and forth between profiles and yours won't be the most appealing one. In real life situations you just might be the most appealing guy in the room.

Panama City is a great place to pick up women, highly underrated.

[TIOT12]

I agree that real life will be more effective. Probably safer bets are hanging out at the places that women go to chase the gringos in these foreign countries. And I would look for ways to build up your inclusion in various social circles in these areas. Maybe some type of volunteer work is possiblity.

And this is theoretical, but I think you may have some more success online if you approach it a little indirectly. For example, I would look at doing online language exchanges especially since you are looking to travel to various foreign countries. There are a number of sites out there where you can look for partners and conversations can often go the flirting and dating route. Even if they are not interested in a relationship, you could become friends with them and later use that friendship as a way to meet other women in their social circles or other women in their area. There are also in person language exchanges too that are probably more common in the foreign countries.

You could also look to join some of the reddit boards or similar things for the countries you are looking to visit or live. This would be a way to develop some friendships over time that can translate into invites or meet-ups. It is also an avenue where you can ask questions you may have on various subjects about a country.

[Brazilianguy]

I feel you, man!
I´m 36 and gave up on online dating about 2 years ago!
The truth is that it sucks for men in general. Even young guys have to date way below their value.

[birthday cat]

It's difficult to assess something like this on the Internet. The first thing I suggest is to meet up with some guys in the cities you visit.

I'm burned out on online game. I'm not much of a fan of it right now. That being said, take things you read on the Internet with a grain of salt. Most guys are using online apps to meet girls and many of them have a lot of room for improvement. Guys read the forum and think online game is all photos. It's either get professional photos and it will be raining pussy or online dating is impossible. Neither are true.

A pro photographer can't do that much for you if you haven't optimized your appearance or if you are wearing goofy clothes. A pro photographer can't solve the other primary part of online game which is that you have to know how to talk girls and be interesting. I'm not trying to change your mind about online game but think about how all of this applies to offline game as well.

Something just seems off if you aren't getting much interest in the cities you mentioned. Either you are overlooking some problems or your expectations are off. I would expect you to be talking to a lot of girls but your biggest problem being that they flake or don't look as attractive in real life as in their pictures.

Online dating can frustrate you and send your attitude and mindset into the gutter. That is one good reason to stop doing it.

What kind of girls are you going after? What age? Improving your appearance is essential if you want younger girls.

(10-19-2017 03:56 PM)Duke Main Wrote:  

I’m mid 50s (here’s where I insert the obligatory,”I look younger than that” disclaimer), reasonably fit and good looking, airline pilot, with an agreeable personality.

Be careful with the combination of 50+, great job, agreeable personality. That is just what a lot of the goldiggers and green card hunters are looking for. Also, being a little disagreeable sometimes can do a lot to increase a girl's attraction for you.

How much experience do you have with foreign women?

[Duke Main]

(10-19-2017 04:05 PM)Brother Abdul Majeed Wrote:  

Online dating isn't meant for older guys. You are already filtered out by most of the women that you'd find desirable (and even by a few that you wouldn't).
However, in person, if you can learn to turn on the charm at the right moments you might be surprised at who's interested in you.

When women sit in front of their computers they are flipping back and forth between profiles and yours won't be the most appealing one. In real life situations you just might be the most appealing guy in the room.

Panama City is a great place to pick up women, highly underrated.

Thanks for the feedback. 15 years ago online dating in the Philippines was a goldmine. Now I'm just a bit older, and I feel the game has changed, even for younger guys. I'll give Panama City a try in the next few months.

[Duke Main]

(10-19-2017 04:35 PM)TIOT12 Wrote:  

I agree that real life will be more effective. Probably safer bets are hanging out at the places that women go to chase the gringos in these foreign countries. And I would look for ways to build up your inclusion in various social circles in these areas. Maybe some type of volunteer work is possiblity.

And this is theoretical, but I think you may have some more success online if you approach it a little indirectly. For example, I would look at doing online language exchanges especially since you are looking to travel to various foreign countries. There are a number of sites out there where you can look for partners and conversations can often go the flirting and dating route. Even if they are not interested in a relationship, you could become friends with them and later use that friendship as a way to meet other women in their social circles or other women in their area. There are also in person language exchanges too that are probably more common in the foreign countries.

You could also look to join some of the reddit boards or similar things for the countries you are looking to visit or live. This would be a way to develop some friendships over time that can translate into invites or meet-ups. It is also an avenue where you can ask questions you may have on various subjects about a country.

Thanks T12. Those are good suggestions. I had never heard of language exchanges; might be promising.

[Duke Main]

(10-19-2017 05:58 PM)Brazilianguy Wrote:  

I feel you, man!
I´m 36 and gave up on online dating about 2 years ago!
The truth is that it sucks for men in general. Even young guys have to date way below their value.

Damn! I didn't know it was bad for you young sexy guys too.

[Duke Main]

(10-19-2017 06:01 PM)birthday cat Wrote:  

It's difficult to assess something like this on the Internet. The first thing I suggest is to meet up with some guys in the cities you visit.

I'm burned out on online game. I'm not much of a fan of it right now. That being said, take things you read on the Internet with a grain of salt. Most guys are using online apps to meet girls and many of them have a lot of room for improvement. Guys read the forum and think online game is all photos. It's either get professional photos and it will be raining pussy or online dating is impossible. Neither are true.

A pro photographer can't do that much for you if you haven't optimized your appearance or if you are wearing goofy clothes. A pro photographer can't solve the other primary part of online game which is that you have to know how to talk girls and be interesting. I'm not trying to change your mind about online game but think about how all of this applies to offline game as well.

Something just seems off if you aren't getting much interest in the cities you mentioned. Either you are overlooking some problems or your expectations are off. I would expect you to be talking to a lot of girls but your biggest problem being that they flake or don't look as attractive in real life as in their pictures.

Online dating can frustrate you and send your attitude and mindset into the gutter. That is one good reason to stop doing it.

What kind of girls are you going after? What age? Improving your appearance is essential if you want younger girls.

(10-19-2017 03:56 PM)Duke Main Wrote:  

I’m mid 50s (here’s where I insert the obligatory,”I look younger than that” disclaimer), reasonably fit and good looking, airline pilot, with an agreeable personality.

Be careful with the combination of 50+, great job, agreeable personality. That is just what a lot of the goldiggers and green card hunters are looking for. Also, being a little disagreeable sometimes can do a lot to increase a girl's attraction for you.

How much experience do you have with foreign women?

Good thoughts. My personal appearance is good, if I do say so myself. I've been hit on by attractive women who are much younger than me, here in the good old US of A. I know I have a lot of weaknesses in overall game, but my touchstone is the Philippines. In 2000 I was a rockstar, in 2017 I'm all but invisible.

As far as experience, I was married to a Filipina for 10 years and I have many friends who are married to or dating foreign women. I have flags from a few countries, but not nearly as many as I should for how much I've traveled. I guess I'm trying to improve my results by changing my environment more than I change myself, which may be a mistake.

I know I didn't respond to all your points. Let me know if you want to dive deeper on any of them.

[RatInTheWoods]

In Australia, the older man dating game is like shooting fish in a barrell

There is a ton of just divorced, back in shape women looking for a quality (older) man to date and bang them out.

Times have never been so good as when I got older.

[RatInTheWoods]

You really need to look at your profile more, also which country are you hunting in?

[Shimmy]

1) If you look better in person than you do online you're doing it wrong. Next time you're in one of these cities hire a local professional photographer for $25-50 (or even $100 in the US). Get some really professional looking pictures with you dressed well.

2) If you can pass for 45 lie about your age and say you're 45.

3) Make sure your profile states you are a pilot and if you can get a great pic of you on the job use that pic on your profile. According to tinder data being a pilot is the best job you can have, see below.

[Brother Abdul Majeed]

(10-19-2017 06:38 PM)Duke Main Wrote:  

(10-19-2017 04:05 PM)Brother Abdul Majeed Wrote:  

Online dating isn't meant for older guys. You are already filtered out by most of the women that you'd find desirable (and even by a few that you wouldn't).
However, in person, if you can learn to turn on the charm at the right moments you might be surprised at who's interested in you.

When women sit in front of their computers they are flipping back and forth between profiles and yours won't be the most appealing one. In real life situations you just might be the most appealing guy in the room.

Panama City is a great place to pick up women, highly underrated.

Thanks for the feedback. 15 years ago online dating in the Philippines was a goldmine. Now I'm just a bit older, and I feel the game has changed, even for younger guys. I'll give Panama City a try in the next few months.

If you ever do hit Panama City message me. I'm in and out of there all the time and know some good spots. I live in a more remote part of Panama but I have to go to the city often for one thing or the other. I'm in my 50's myself, so I feel your pain.

[Duke Main]

(10-19-2017 08:05 PM)RatInTheWoods Wrote:  

You really need to look at your profile more, also which country are you hunting in?

I'm not saying my profile is amazing and couldn't be improved. I'm saying it's pretty good and I'm seeing a lack of interest from the more desirable females which I'm attributing to my age and a proliferation of thirsty western men over the past few years. I've put my profile on filipinocupid, thaifriendly and latincupid. Right now I'm not motivated to work on my online profile. I'm focusing on putting boots on the ground and making connections in real life.

[Duke Main]

(10-19-2017 08:21 PM)Shimmy Wrote:  

1) If you look better in person than you do online you're doing it wrong. Next time you're in one of these cities hire a local professional photographer for $25-50 (or even $100 in the US). Get some really professional looking pictures with you dressed well.

2) If you can pass for 45 lie about your age and say you're 45.

3) Make sure your profile states you are a pilot and if you can get a great pic of you on the job use that pic on your profile. According to tinder data being a pilot is the best job you can have, see below.

Thanks Shimmy. I'm not saying I necessarily look better in person. I'm more able to project some of my good qualities with back and forth interaction that can't be captured easily in a profile.

[Duke Main]

(10-19-2017 08:38 PM)Brother Abdul Majeed Wrote:  

(10-19-2017 06:38 PM)Duke Main Wrote:  

(10-19-2017 04:05 PM)Brother Abdul Majeed Wrote:  

Online dating isn't meant for older guys. You are already filtered out by most of the women that you'd find desirable (and even by a few that you wouldn't).
However, in person, if you can learn to turn on the charm at the right moments you might be surprised at who's interested in you.

When women sit in front of their computers they are flipping back and forth between profiles and yours won't be the most appealing one. In real life situations you just might be the most appealing guy in the room.

Panama City is a great place to pick up women, highly underrated.

Thanks for the feedback. 15 years ago online dating in the Philippines was a goldmine. Now I'm just a bit older, and I feel the game has changed, even for younger guys. I'll give Panama City a try in the next few months.

If you ever do hit Panama City message me. I'm in and out of there all the time and know some good spots. I live in a more remote part of Panama but I have to go to the city often for one thing or the other. I'm in my 50's myself, so I feel your pain.

Thanks I will.

[Putin Closes]

Honestly most girls in the 6+ range are typically filter out guys once they hit a certain age. Try and lie and put 35 if you can pull it off.

Tinder is a young person game. I turned it up to 40+ just to see and there were a Grand total of 10 girls in a city of 1M+ . Granted this is sea where tinder is relatively new.

[Shimmy]

(10-19-2017 09:41 PM)Putin Closes Wrote:  

Honestly most girls in the 6+ range are typically filter out guys once they hit a certain age. Try and lie and put 35 if you can pull it off.

Tinder is a young person game. I turned it up to 40+ just to see and there were a Grand total of 10 girls in a city of 1M+ . Granted this is sea where tinder is relatively new.

It's different if you're older yourself. If a girl is 40 and has her age set at 35-55 and you're 30 you will never even see here profile. Only people in your age bracket will see your profile.

[Putin Closes]

I didn't even know that. Good dp. Still lying about your age should produce much better matches. Easier now with phone verification instead of facebook.

[Floridian1]

(10-19-2017 03:56 PM)Duke Main Wrote:  

In other words, I'd live in a major US city and travel frequently to a foreign city where my smv is higher. I feel if I quasi live in one of these places I can repeatedly frequent the same gym, bars, restaurants, etc…and gain a level of confidence with the locals, leading to introduction to the kind of women that appeal to me. In the short term I’m looking for serial monogamy while being open to a true LTR with the right lady.

I hope this situation resonates with a few of you and we can have a good exchange.

I'm in my mid-50's and totally agree. I was recently in the Philippines and Tinder was 90% pros and semi-pros. Filipino Cupid is a bit better with a greater ratio of real women but very few 7+

On the other hand, I was at my gate in KL and noticed this beautiful (8) 30ish girl. I approached, then chatted. I got her Line info. We are having dinner next week in Bangkok. She claims she has NEVER been approached like that by a stranger in a public place. I don't know if she is on any of the dating sites but if she was, would she have swiped right based on my pic and profile? I doubt it.

I tell this success story but my batting average in approaching women during my daily routine is much lower than .500. They're not interested? That's ok. Move on to the next target. Be thankful that they aren't wasting your time and money.

There is nothing wrong with investing some time on-line. But, combine it with solid day-game and a bit of night game. You see a prospect, approach.

[N°6]

Seeking Arrangement

[Duke Main]

A lot of good advise about online dating. I'd like to focus on the city pairs I put in the OP and see what I can come up with as the best alternative. To recap, the possibilities I mentioned were:

Las Vegas ---> Guadalajara
Las Vegas ---> Panama City
Houston ---> Bogota
Houston ---> Lima
Orlando ---> Santo Domingo

I'm leaning toward Santo Domingo based on what I've read here and other places. Brother Abdul Majeed endorsed Panama City; kind of a long flight, as is IAB/LIM. Guadalajara would probably be the most convenient with my current circumstances. If I added Miami to the list I'd include Santiago DR as a destination as well as Medellin. LAX and SFO are closer to Asia but farther from Latin America, except parts of Mexico. And Asia would just be too rough for frequent travel.

The shorter the flight the better and nonstops are definitely preferred.

Again, I want to be an "almost" resident of the selected city; spending more or less one week a month living like a local. I think I forgot to mention I'm a white guy with decent/rusty Spanish. Once I get used to local slang and accents communication will be no problema.

[Duke Main]

(10-19-2017 11:07 PM)Floridian1 Wrote:  

(10-19-2017 03:56 PM)Duke Main Wrote:  

In other words, I'd live in a major US city and travel frequently to a foreign city where my smv is higher. I feel if I quasi live in one of these places I can repeatedly frequent the same gym, bars, restaurants, etc…and gain a level of confidence with the locals, leading to introduction to the kind of women that appeal to me. In the short term I’m looking for serial monogamy while being open to a true LTR with the right lady.

I hope this situation resonates with a few of you and we can have a good exchange.

I'm in my mid-50's and totally agree. I was recently in the Philippines and Tinder was 90% pros and semi-pros. Filipino Cupid is a bit better with a greater ratio of real women but very few 7+

On the other hand, I was at my gate in KL and noticed this beautiful (8) 30ish girl. I approached, then chatted. I got her Line info. We are having dinner next week in Bangkok. She claims she has NEVER been approached like that by a stranger in a public place. I don't know if she is on any of the dating sites but if she was, would she have swiped right based on my pic and profile? I doubt it.

I tell this success story but my batting average in approaching women during my daily routine is much lower than .500. They're not interested? That's ok. Move on to the next target. Be thankful that they aren't wasting your time and money.

There is nothing wrong with investing some time on-line. But, combine it with solid day-game and a bit of night game. You see a prospect, approach.

So .400? .300? I don't know much about baseball, but I'd still call that a great batting average!

[Naughty By Nature]

I wouldn't recommend online dating for older guys or younger guys.

It's a cesspool of trannies, catfish, bots, prostitutes, crazy women, and women who look significantly worse than their photos (this is the most common issue).

There's also the fact you're sitting in your room staring at a screen. You're not connecting with anyone, you're not building any confidence, and you're not getting outside your comfort zone.

Online dating makes you WORSE with women.

[Genghis Khan]

(10-19-2017 08:21 PM)Shimmy Wrote:  

1) If you look better in person than you do online you're doing it wrong. Next time you're in one of these cities hire a local professional photographer for $25-50 (or even $100 in the US). Get some really professional looking pictures with you dressed well.

2) If you can pass for 45 lie about your age and say you're 45.

3) Make sure your profile states you are a pilot and if you can get a great pic of you on the job use that pic on your profile. According to tinder data being a pilot is the best job you can have, see below.

That graph looks like BS to me. I'm an engineer and no way do I do that well (beating out male models?). Also no way are female entrepreneurs/founders swiped on right more than nurses and teachers. Shit, I specifically swipe left on any female CEO/founder type.