[Kapanda]

Approaching is not a problem for me. But I am not taking that next step in my game, so I could do with guidance.

[LINUX]

(09-09-2017 09:47 AM)Kapanda Wrote:  

Approaching is not a problem for me. But I am not taking that next step in my game, so I could do with guidance.

Solid long-term game isn't about adding things to your arsenal. It's about removing things and making this an extremely simple process.

You'll see this with time. 95% of what you learn out there, is bullshit that you would be just as well doing without. You basically mind-fuck yourself into figuring out what you did wrong, when the truth is, she just didn't find you attractive, she wasn't available, or she had different taste. Some women like white dick, some like black dick, some like long-hair, some like beards. Don't over-think it.

If you truly are showing up, telling a woman you like her, and asking her to join you in your life, gym and physical appearance should be your priority at this point. Consider this a much longer and harder process. Get as jacked as possible, fix your skin, teeth, hair, etc. Buy some nice clothes until you get jacked, then you can burn them. Show as much skin as often as possible and that's when eyes really start opening and legs start spreading.

[Kapanda]

(09-09-2017 01:25 PM)LINUX Wrote:  

Solid long-term game isn't about adding things to your arsenal. It's about removing things and making this an extremely simple process.

Noted, and agreed.

Quote:

If you truly are showing up, telling a woman you like her, and asking her to join you in your life,

I'm not necessarily doing the last two, I'm just trying to run game, which may be where I am stuck.

[Kapanda]

(09-09-2017 01:25 PM)LINUX Wrote:  

You'll see this with time. 95% of what you learn out there, is bullshit that you would be just as well doing without. You basically mind-fuck yourself into figuring out what you did wrong, when the truth is, she just didn't find you attractive, she wasn't available, or she had different taste. Some women like white dick, some like black dick, some like long-hair, some like beards. Don't over-think it.

I hung out with an older gay dude yesterday. Truth be told, these guys do me a good service, as they provide insight and an ego boost at the same time.

He reiterated what you said, LINUX. I need to stop overthinking things, my interactions with women are fine. I got two numbers I feel pretty good about, and I approached some... 7-10 women yesterday night (depending on whether multiple approaches in one group count or not). I also had a dinner date with a girl that isn't going anywhere.

It must have something to do with not knowing how to go for the kill. Sure, this sounds like a mind-fuck continuation, but I have been approaching quite a bit, yet I am nearly two months without any action. Facts speak for themselves.

Friday, my mood was shitty, and it reflected on my approaches. I am putting that up to acknowledging that I will have bad nights from time to time. Still got to get out there every day.

[LINUX]

And he's right. You're doing what you need to do.

Right now you're judging things based on an outcome " phone number, bangs". That's a dead in road. You need to look at things as they are. You're on a journey, you're making memories, you are playing your cards as best as you can, and one day it's going to happen, someone is going to walk through that door that you opened and she's going to blow your fucking mind and it's going to all be worth it.. Notches, bangs, lays -- they don't mean shit.

Never be addicted to the outcome of any situation. Just go with it and be happy and enjoy this short life that we have and one day, she's going to show up in front of you, but only if you show up as a man and tell her exactly what you want, otherwise, she'll walk out of your life forever never knowing that man in the cafe in front of her desired her.

[alex homer]

[quote='LINUX' pid='1645903' dateline='1505071808']
And he's right. You're doing what you need to do.
she's going to blow your fucking mind.
What kind of mind blowing experiences do you mean by?

[LINUX]

(09-10-2017 11:42 PM)alex homer Wrote:  

And he's right. You're doing what you need to do.
she's going to blow your fucking mind.
What kind of mind blowing experiences do you mean by?

This is a complex thing that most people may never understand. I don't have any answers that are true to others, only true to myself, and I try to relay those here for those who want to listen. And maybe it's bullshit, I dont know but to me it's real. For your question, what stories have I had that blew my mind -- I have so many that I wouldn't begin to even know where to start.

There was once a girl I met walking down the street on 59 y 7 in Bogota. At first she was going to be just another bang to increase my ego more than it already was. Then one day I found myself lying on a hard wood floor, with nothing but a dim lamp in front of me, and her sitting on a wooden stool, naked, with perfect breast, playing a cello perfectly to Bach Cello Suite No.1 - Prelude.

Then there was a girl who lived in a cement shack in the ghetto outside of Cali, Colombia. It was falling apart, had a tin roof with holes in it. Her water was a pipe running through the wall connected to a 55 gallon drum outside with freezing cold water. In her home was a bed, a plastic table, a crucifix on the wall, and four plastic chairs. She sit there and cooked my three weenies on a propane stove, along with three eggs from the chicken coop outside, then she made me chocolate milk from coco powder, folded up napkins in a triangle, and neatly arranged the plastic forks and spoons just like a 5 star restaurant. And then she looked at me and said, "Happy New years, Liunx, I hope this best one you have ever had."
And you know, it was.

That's the women that blow your mind. That's what we should all be chasing for, not notches, but memories of beautiful women who are greater than this shitty world of pain and hate that we live in.

[Kapanda]

I opened up to this older lady that I am currently banging. She remarked that I am particularly attractive, great sense of style, etc.

I did tell her that I don't get with nearly as many women as I should. She tells me that I am not smooth.

The truth.

My problem is not so much anxiety, unattractiveness, what have you. More often than not, my chances gradually decrease the more I flap my lips. That's my problem, and I am stumped on how to overcome it.

Any and all suggestions are very welcome.

(Disclaimer for myself: I'm going to stop posting on anything outside of the 'Game' forum and subsequent subforums, I'm embarrassed to still only have 1 reputation point.)

[Alpharius]

(01-03-2018 06:15 AM)Kapanda Wrote:  

I opened up to this older lady that I am currently banging. She remarked that I am particularly attractive, great sense of style, etc.

I did tell her that I don't get with nearly as many women as I should. She tells me that I am not smooth.

The truth.

My problem is not so much anxiety, unattractiveness, what have you. More often than not, my chances gradually decrease the more I flap my lips. That's my problem, and I am stumped on how to overcome it.

Any and all suggestions are very welcome.

(Disclaimer for myself: I'm going to stop posting on anything outside of the 'Game' forum and subsequent subforums, I'm embarrassed to still only have 1 reputation point.)

Rep typically comes from contributions. Yes, you are working on your self, but that's pretty much the bare minimum any guy on this forum contributes. When you create value for others, that's when you get rep. Also, little rep comes from politics and everything else because what do we truly gain from those besides entertainment and rabid discussion? Get your style and life the way you want them (Life), get in shape (Weightlifting and Fitness), expose yourself to new and different ideas (Deep), get out and see the world (Travel) and develop your game (Game). Don't beg for rep on a forum where you don't know anyone, you should be above that. Prove your worth and the rep will come.


And fuck what some old biddy says about you or your game. You define your game, not the dumbass hos who succumb to it. Work on your body language if you find yourself talking too much, or become a better story teller - every word becoming auditory gold.

[Kapanda]

I appreciate your words. I probably wasn't clear enough. I wasn't trying to beg for rep points, but I came to this forum because I am bad with women. Having only one rep point in 6 months tells me I am no better - and that one rep point had nothing to do with game either. So I was hoping to get people to come over and give me some pointers.

It was essentially me saying "I am not worthy, I need help, please help".

Quote:

Work on your body language if you find yourself talking too much

It's more that what I say often does not go down well, not that I say too much. It could be what you are alluding to, that I care too much what others think.

[Kapanda]

I'm glad I came back to this thread. I had completely forgotten LINUX's advice. I need to invite women into my life, not try to "game" them. That is still the frame of mind that I have.

[Alpharius]

(01-03-2018 09:12 PM)Kapanda Wrote:  

I appreciate your words. I probably wasn't clear enough. I wasn't trying to beg for rep points, but I came to this forum because I am bad with women. Having only one rep point in 6 months tells me I am no better - and that one rep point had nothing to do with game either. So I was hoping to get people to come over and give me some pointers.

It was essentially me saying "I am not worthy, I need help, please help".

Quote:

Work on your body language if you find yourself talking too much

It's more that what I say often does not go down well, not that I say too much. It could be what you are alluding to, that I care too much what others think.

Forum rep does not equate great game, mastery, or self improvement. It typically means you contributed something worthwhile enough that others read it and said, "Hey this guy knows what he's talking about!"

Don't read a lack of rep points as having anything to do with your game. It is solely about your contributions to the forum and its members. As for improving your game, get in more conversations with people! Here's your homework - start a conversation with a stranger every day for the next week, come back and update us on how that went. Practice using different ways to express yourself, different words and phrases, also talk about different subjects. If they're truly strangers, who gives a shit what they think?

Are you doing anything else to improve yourself? Remember that game multifaceted and encompasses any number of aspects that represent your self - your speaking ability, your body language, your level of fitness, your knowledge of the world around you, your history and experiences, etc... Start hitting the gym, read new books, and explore your surroundings. When you figure out what you want in life you can start to determine where women will factor in.

[PapayaTapper]

(09-09-2017 05:46 PM)Kapanda Wrote:  

(09-09-2017 01:25 PM)LINUX Wrote:  

Solid long-term game isn't about adding things to your arsenal. It's about removing things and making this an extremely simple process.

Noted, and agreed.

Quote:

If you truly are showing up, telling a woman you like her, and asking her to join you in your life,

I'm not necessarily doing the last two, I'm just trying to run game, which may be where I am stuck.

Here's a "seed" I'm going to plant:

They may forget what you said — but they will never forget how you made them feel.
—Carl W. Buehner

This is especially true when it comes to the female to male attraction dynamic

Guys get way too hung up on what to say, how to say it, when, cocky funny, etc and every other "game tactic".

In reality what you want to master first is the game at the "strategic" level.

"How" is almost always more important than "what" when it comes to attraction:

-Confidence...over and over women say it's the most attractive quality. Whatever you say, say it with conviction

- Eye contact...the more attractive the girl the more this is effective. Make her break eye contact first and she' likely wet

- "Sexualize" the convo immediately. No interview questions. Chit chat is boring and boring is worse than being short, fat, broke and bald. This doesn't mean ask her "want to touch my monkey?" or show her a dick pic.

Its more subtle and calibrated:

PT "Oh no...Are those Louboutin's"

Her "Yeah, why?"

PT "Every girl I know that wears Loobies is trouble"


In a nut shell what you want her to feel is that

A. You really want to fuck her
B. You really know how
C. You really dont give a shit if you dont

Do that and "how" you did it is irrelevant

[Kapanda]

(01-03-2018 10:20 PM)Alpharius Wrote:  

Are you doing anything else to improve yourself? Remember that game multifaceted and encompasses any number of aspects that represent your self - your speaking ability, your body language, your level of fitness, your knowledge of the world around you, your history and experiences, etc... Start hitting the gym, read new books, and explore your surroundings. When you figure out what you want in life you can start to determine where women will factor in.

I must admit, I have been slacking on the gym. So, no room for excuses there. Will do everything to get back in today.

(01-04-2018 01:15 AM)PapayaTapper Wrote:  

"How" is almost always more important than "what" when it comes to attraction:

-Confidence...over and over women say it's the most attractive quality. Whatever you say, say it with conviction

- Eye contact...the more attractive the girl the more this is effective. Make her break eye contact first and she' likely wet

- "Sexualize" the convo immediately. No interview questions. Chit chat is boring and boring is worse than being short, fat, broke and bald. This doesn't mean ask her "want to touch my monkey?" or show her a dick pic.

Its more subtle and calibrated:

PT "Oh no...Are those Louboutin's"

Her "Yeah, why?"

PT "Every girl I know that wears Loobies is trouble"


In a nut shell what you want her to feel is that

A. You really want to fuck her
B. You really know how
C. You really dont give a shit if you dont

Do that and "how" you did it is irrelevant

Confidence is getting there. Simple example, I was having lunch with a friend, and told the waitress that I would have loved to have met her in a different setting. She ended up telling me she was married, to which my friend said "She never actually said no to giving you her number."

The sexualizing the conversation, that's the part of "game" that I still don't quite get. And I find that it makes me awkward when I start consciously trying to do just that.

[PapayaTapper]

(01-04-2018 07:02 AM)Kapanda Wrote:  

(01-03-2018 10:20 PM)Alpharius Wrote:  

Are you doing anything else to improve yourself? Remember that game multifaceted and encompasses any number of aspects that represent your self - your speaking ability, your body language, your level of fitness, your knowledge of the world around you, your history and experiences, etc... Start hitting the gym, read new books, and explore your surroundings. When you figure out what you want in life you can start to determine where women will factor in.

I must admit, I have been slacking on the gym. So, no room for excuses there. Will do everything to get back in today.

(01-04-2018 01:15 AM)PapayaTapper Wrote:  

"How" is almost always more important than "what" when it comes to attraction:

-Confidence...over and over women say it's the most attractive quality. Whatever you say, say it with conviction

- Eye contact...the more attractive the girl the more this is effective. Make her break eye contact first and she' likely wet

- "Sexualize" the convo immediately. No interview questions. Chit chat is boring and boring is worse than being short, fat, broke and bald. This doesn't mean ask her "want to touch my monkey?" or show her a dick pic.

Its more subtle and calibrated:

PT "Oh no...Are those Louboutin's"

Her "Yeah, why?"

PT "Every girl I know that wears Loobies is trouble"


In a nut shell what you want her to feel is that

A. You really want to fuck her
B. You really know how
C. You really dont give a shit if you dont

Do that and "how" you did it is irrelevant

Confidence is getting there. Simple example, I was having lunch with a friend, and told the waitress that I would have loved to have met her in a different setting. She ended up telling me she was married, to which my friend said "She never actually said no to giving you her number."

The sexualizing the conversation, that's the part of "game" that I still don't quite get. And I find that it makes me awkward when I start consciously trying to do just that.

The most Super Bowl winning quarterback in NFL history is Tom Brady. Guess what he's doing today:....practicing

Like anything else this type of nuanced interaction takes practice. Learning to read a a girl's defense before you throw that pass becomes easier with time.

Here are a few threads / posts about the subject that will help you develop this skill.

thread-13087.html

WIA's post is a really good example of specifics

thread-10228...#pid156658

Situational awareness.

You'll want to go way faster/ more directly to innuendo in a bar or club setting than say a girl you just met sitting on the library steps. A hot girl in a club bar setting is expecting to get approached, and hoping not to get bored. Banal chit chat is

Humor and sexual banter are how you grab and keep her attention

But remember...big picture is

(01-04-2018 01:15 AM)PapayaTapper Wrote:  

They may forget what you said — but they will never forget how you made them feel.
—Carl W. Buehner