Quote: (06-17-2017 12:27 PM)boss13 Wrote:
I'm considering teaching math in China. I've read that the locals can be quite curious, friendly, and interested in white foreigners so they'll ask them lots of questions and invite them out often. However, I look Chinese, so maybe I won't get treated so well. I'd like to make local friends and hang out with them as opposed to the English teacher crowd
I've been looking at teaching in Hangzhou since I see many openings there and it's so close to Shanghai, where my close (married) Chinese friend lives. I've also heard Suzhou, Chengdu, Nanjing, Qingdao, and Kunming are good to live in.
Can anyone recommend what you think is the best 2nd-tier to live in?
Making friends with locals in China, is a somewhat hotly debated thing. The people who do, are guys that are shooting for language and cultural immersion. The guys that do not, obviously are not interested in the slightest.
I might be the only one on the forum? That went the immersion route I think (correct me if I am wrong someone). The vast majority here are not interested in that, or maybe they were at some point and gave up on it.
I had and still have plenty males in my WeChat/QQ friends list that are Chinese. I had so many at one point it was more than girls. Around the time I got married, all the young men I used to chat with grew up and moved on and I had blocked all my plates/gfs/female pen pals. Let's just say that 12-19 year old females you practice Chinese with are not exactly a good idea to keep around if you get married to a Chinese woman.... even if she does not care about side pussy etc. She would care about a xiaosan and being married never stops the others from trying, if they grew up with you it's worse.
Anyway, all my male buddies got replaced with male family member in-laws. Uncles, cousins, etc. I watch basketball with one cousin and talk about health stuff with another who is a doctor. They have pretty good English too, but we fill in the blanks with my shitty Mandarin. I go fishing with one of my uncle in laws and mostly drink hard with the other ones.
Just in case you are wondering, the answer is yes. If you want to immerse yourself into China and it's culture, you pretty much have to marry into it. The vast majority of the Chinese experience is blocked off because Chinese don't venture outside of family for even recreational activities very much (hence why some guys here call them boring). It's not like in America, where you spend more time with your best friends than you probably do with your own brothers and sisters, painting the town red. So if you are like the others and have zero interest in marriage, you may end up with similar experience like the others. Learning the language is like halfway there. You can use the language to build friendships with guys way easier, but it is up to you. Some will and some won't. Unless you get into the culture more, the language will only go so far.
As for Chinese being boring, it really depends upon the individual family. Some are always doing something and super extroverted. Some are always working and hardly even at home. Some live a completely miserable existence. I have dated a woman that flies to Hong Kong/Thailand on a private plane, solo or with family, on weekends (or whenever they fucking feel like it) for fun, and I have dated girls that are so poor she nor her family has ever gone on vacation. Like none of them have even gone to Mao's hometown and taken the tour but they live probably less than an hour away. It really varies and alot of that comes down to money. Middle-upper, and Upper class Chinese live different lives than the other kinds of middle class and lower classes.
Mobility was a major factor years ago, but now that lots of Chinese have cars now, or money for train travel, things are changing super fast. Every Golden Week or Spring Festival, the traffic gets nightmarishly worse than the previous years. Thailand is down for once because Chinese tourism dipped some this year and that hurt their tourism numbers. Probably temporary but it just goes to show you that attitudes in China on vacations, travel, and leisure are changing, because it was not like this even 5-6 years ago.
As for being being boring on a personality level, I had this debate with the guys a few weeks ago. I did not agree with them, because Chinese people are more traditional in nature. Food, family, and hard work are at the top of their priority lists. Most traditional societies are very much like this. Hell even people in Louisiana are kinda like that! With the small talk to match it! There is not a whole lot to do because the lifestyle is just not like big city lifestyle in Western societies. No one is going to be a big fan of heavy metal. In lower tier Chinese cities, people are playing cards on the side of the street. Old dudes are on chairs playing Chinese Chess with another dude, or just watching the world go by while. Anyone else is dealing with babies and children playing. Pace of life is just way slower. Real China is more likely in Tier 3 and below. You still might see some of it in a Tier 2 though. Younger parents, especially the males, have to work in the T1 and T2 cities, and they leave the wives and grandparents behind to raise the kids, and only come back home a few times a year. The big cities are all rat race central.
Anyway, I wrote enough. I hope I did not scare you already. If you want to see real China go for it, don't be squeamish when you see strange shit, and don't let any of us scare you or convince you of it.
Dating Guide for Mainland China Datasheet
TravelerKai's Martial Arts Datasheet
1 John 4:20 - If anyone says, I love God, and hates (detests, abominates) his brother [in Christ], he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother, whom he has seen, cannot love God, Whom he has not seen.