[scheme00]

Ive been dating a girl for about two months now, we've dated before and it didn't work out because I was acting beta last year and tried to force her into a relationship. After some knowledge building and working on myself we ran into each other and have been having fun going out and having sex for about the last two months. She took off to Hawaii she said on a "last minute invite" and I know none of her friends are going and that she is most likely with another dude.

She's coming over to hang out on Tuesday but Im unsure as to even ask how her trip was. Isn't it a little odd if I don't say "how was hawaii" but isn't it needy if I say "who did you go with?" Not sure what the play is here. This is a girl I really like and I have not had feelings for a girl even though I am pretty good at meeting a lot of women and getting them into bed. I also know that if she comes over tuesday and I see sex bruises on her legs that I'm gonna lose it. Please help with advice, I like this one and don't want to play my cards wrong. I am actively trying to meet more women I have a connection with so this does not affect me so much with "one-itis" but Im afraid I already have the symptoms and need to know the play to make here. How do I act when I see her Tuesday and from there forward?

[MediumRare]

Doesn't matter how anyone here tells you to act mate, you will act how you feel in the moment, even if you try not to, you obviously have strong feelings.

If you think she's with another guy she most likely is and if she's doing that after 2 months seeing you, there will be other signs she's not that into you that you're picking up on, consciously or not, which are making you cling harder, especially after you fucked up first time around.

I'd honestly prepare to cut my losses here, a one sided relationship of any type is not healthy for you. Do it mentally before you next see her.

When you do, keep your cool, ask how the trip was but obviously don't pry about who she was with.

If she's anything but excited to see you again and eager to fuck, then fuck her if you want to but afterwards, fade out on her.

She will either chase or she won't and you will have your answer without losing face again.

It's not worth the heartache of trying harder to win her round, you only make it more painful when it inevitably ends because what will be will be.

Even if she doesn't realise that your trying, the important thing is you DO and putting her on a pedestal like that, giving away your power is the wrong dynamic to be establishing.

It will only end in tears, cut your losses mate.

[slothpiece]

Hey, girl. Last time we met, we were fucking like banshees. We should mee... hold up! Last minute text invite from old friend to go to Hawaii free. Let's catch up in 3 weeks. Find something new, man. You already said you've got no problem meeting them and converting them. It sounds like she has already compartmentalized you and you want to go back to before then. Not happening. Move on to those who are more enthusiastic about your time and presence.

[TravelerKai]

(05-13-2017 01:57 AM)scheme00 Wrote:  

Ive been dating a girl for about two months now, we've dated before and it didn't work out because I was acting beta last year and tried to force her into a relationship.

I have a connection with so this does not affect me so much with "one-itis" but Im afraid I already have the symptoms and need to know the play to make here.

How do I act when I see her Tuesday and from there forward?

1. She friendzoned you first, then elevated you to fuckbuddy status. How do we know she isn't sympathy fucking you to begin with? That's wack bro. Should have pumped and dumped her instead once you snapped out of your beta funk.

2. You have oneitis for sure. A slutty chick has you sprung for no other reason than you have a massive crush on her. If you really have other girls to bang, they must be shit for quality. Work on improving that. Take this bitch off the pedestal, she does not belong there and she is not serious relationship material. For all you know they ran a train on her. Kona probably spitroasted her on a beach with another dude. I hope you are not kissing this bitch with tongue. I wouldn't.

3. Like you don't give a flying fuck about her trip or that other guy. She wants you to ask about her trip alot and to care about the other guys she fucks. You are feeding a beast that thrives off attention. When girls drop hints or discuss their boyfriends, the right answer is to brush it aside as if that guy does not exist.

If she is with you for that moment in time, it's about you getting what you want. If you want more than just to bust your nuts, you need to cut her loose because you are becoming a simp very quickly, over a slut. If you can bust your nuts and not give a shit about her personal life, game on.

Your next mentality and frame need more work. The fastest way to fix that is by pulling quality more consistently and spending more time on approaches. It's easy to forget about a bitch sending you a vacation pic with another dude, if you just met a fly 7 the other day and you been texting back and forth all morning and afternoon.

Stop sweating these hoes. Game on or NEXT! That's it. It's not complicated.

[Suits]

You're too invested in this.

It's fine to be invested if the girl is equally or more invested, but being more into her than she is into you is always going to end poorly for you.

Move onto a girl that is more at your speed.

[Steelex]

Well you just assume she's with a dude. And she probably is. That's sort of irrelevant though.

The truth is, you're mad cause you thought the two of you were on a higher level but she's still on the fucking another dude level. You thought she was yours but it turns out she's not and it bothers you.

Your best way to keep the alpha frame here is to distance yourself and see other women. At that point she will either fade out or amp up, and you'll get to see what you're really dealing with.

As I said, distance yourself and see other women. But dont bring it up. It's the only way to show her "I know what you did, I don't approve, but I don't care because you haven't yet earned that spot in my life. If you want me, you gotta work for it."

[Delta8]

I know how you feel pal its not good, I really like this girl too but she's a slut pure and simple instead of mentally blocking it out like I've been doing, I'm just saying yeah she is a slut and not worth it. It's helping slowly but surely but deep down you and I will always have feelings for these girls unless after time we move on.
As for the advice mediumrare hit the nail on the head, just keep doing what you're doing cut your loses and move on,if she likes you she'll chase and you'll be back on top!
Hope it works out for you anyway pal.

[DVY]

Just keep smashing and make yourself understand that this is only for smash

[PapayaTapper]

I was just in Hawaii with a chick. If it's her she'll still be walking funny when you see her on Tuesday. I did eat a bunch of pineapple while I was there so you should be able to tell if it was her when you makeout with her

[Oz.]

Moral of the story, you were and are still acting beta.

[Rawmeo]

Moral of the story, she friendzoned you and is fucking another guy. Move on.

[Uhondo]

Quote:

Just keep smashing and make yourself understand that this is only for smash

This.

That's what I would do.

[blck]

(05-13-2017 12:15 PM)Uhondo Wrote:  

Quote:

Just keep smashing and make yourself understand that this is only for smash

This.

That's what I would do.

OP already gone full beta simp captain save-a-hoe for his oneitis bitch (been dumped once because he didn't understand it was only for sex then go back and still getting feelings) fucking her more will make him love her more and then suicide when she'll drop his sorry ass to go run after some badass who don't love her back but fuck her in the ass without asking for consent (if it's not what she does already)

Don't get yourself in this shit OP, if you think she is with some dude on vacation then she probably got her mouth and ass full of his cum before agreeing to go away with him.
Do yourself a favor and go hate fuck other bitches for what she did to you and rub it in her face as those go crazy for you.

[Simeon_Strangelight]

You should be seeing her and seeing a bunch of other girls. If she does the same, then it is her loss - she disqualified herself from a future relationship anyway.

Of course she likely will bang a guy in Hawaii while traveling alone or with a man. You should hop on a plane and fuck 2-3 girls while she is fucking one. Aim for a threesome.

[General Stalin]

Reading all these replies like

[RatInTheWoods]

(05-13-2017 12:15 PM)Uhondo Wrote:  

Quote:

Just keep smashing and make yourself understand that this is only for smash

This.

That's what I would do.

+1 agree... BUT the OP has got the feelz for her, so its going to hurt him.

He may have to go cold turkey on this one.

[Travel Museums]

I assume the girl is at least an 8 or you wouldn't really care? Or you have some other ancillary benefit like a free place to stay in a foreign city?

Here's some less harsh input. Probably best to act like you don't care too much one way or the other. She's already got the frame control and you'll just feed into it. Easy to say. Hard to do. You obviously care.

Not caring too much... That's probably how you should actually feel too. Again, that's hard to do. You must have an abundance of women to "not care". Or you need to have a great social network. Or keep yourself busy traveling or whatever. Then you can be OK being romantically alone until you find another woman.

She doesn't care too much, obviously, because she can get free trips to Hawaii. She has abundance of men. As done any halfway decent girl who's willing to have sex outside a monogamous relationship.

Maybe she's just taking advantage of some beta guy. You really don't know. So try not to get too worked up.

If you're a decent Fuck/man she may actually care. You could even be her lead dog and not realize it. But she has other dogs pulling her sleigh. They are enough to balance her feelings towards you. She could rotate you out for another dude without too much trouble.

Again, it's difficult to have frame control. Any halfway decent girl willing to have sex can get a 9/10 guy to fuck her on his rotation. This idea that we can be bad boys and use game to change the sexual market dynamics is not true. At best that will work on some women.

The best approach is work on your inner and outer self, improve your logistics, game, network, presentation, etc. This WILL massively increase your value and help create abundance.

But you still need to accept that any female 8 can get fucked good on the regular. Or go to Hawaii. That doesn't make you beta. That's the way it is.

Unless you are in a relationship with her you shouldn't be bothered by this. You should only be bothered if it's creating drama in your life/relationship with her.

I reconnected to travel with a hot girl recently. Her "boyfriend" lost his shit and was calling nonstop. He even contacted me. I wasn't so much bothered by the situation. It was the annoyance of the drama from both him and her.

Unfortunately people have to lie about this stuff. We're several generations away from open relationships and fuck buddies being totally cool. And with emotions being involved it probably never will be. Throw in social media and it's basically impossible to compartmentalizations anything beyond a ONS.

We're not robots. We develop feelings of attachment based on how often and exclusively we see the same person. There's several other influences like physical attraction and compatibility. Sounds like you're working on maximizing what you offer in all those other categories.

So don't best yourself up too much. It's natural to have feelings. Especially since you have a beta/relationship framed past. Not much you can do about that with this particular chick.

But you need to accept that in regards to the bell curve of women this stuff happens. It's often not even a reflection of you. It can be the girl. I know college girls that are on Tinder to straight up get free dinners.

The only real way to counteract that kind of dynamic is for all men across the world to collectively take a stand. But that's never going to happen. And would probably come with huge drawbacks anyway. Just look at the paradox of feminism.

So you just accept this kind of shit happens and not get too worked up about it. You redirect the energy into improving yourself.

There's probably some stuff you could do to game this girl when she returns. Some there have mentioned stuff to say or do. I honestly don't see the point in gaming a fuckbuddy though. Especially if she's not that into you. Your experience seems to parallel the norm. Fuck buddies drop off and sometimes come back. It's normal.

[UlteriorMotive]

I agree with all the advice above.

This part of your post stood out to me.

(05-13-2017 01:57 AM)scheme00 Wrote:  

This is a girl I really like and I have not had feelings for a girl

I went through the same problem of not catching any feels until there were certain things with her personality and looks present.

I'd say this one is lost but I would take the time out if I was you to try and analyse what is is about this specific girl that makes you really like her.

This will help a lot in the future when looking for women that you will genuinely form some kind of feels for and maybe progress to a relationship with.

[Vincent Chase]

You have some growing up to do, and we've all had to go through that stage and there is pain involved.

She's probably just sampling the cock carousel while she's still young. You've only seen her 2 months, that's not a relationship. Don't give a shit about her, and acting less interested (and naturally the simplest way to do this is by fucking other girls) is really the only way to go.

[General Mayhem]

Unfortunately you just have to pay your dues. Maybe some day you will be reading threads like this, unable to picture yourself giving a fuck if the same thing were to happen to you..

Men who are new to the game don't seem to understand the full suite of female behavior. Probably because mainstream culture only depicts the better end of it. The real spectrum includes worse than the uninitiated could imagine.

It's like the walking dead out there man. They are all infected, even the ones who don't seem like they ever could do anything wrong. They all have the capacity to act out some truly loathsome shit. The only question is if you can handle it.

Set your expectations accordingly and you will never be surprised.

[BrewDog]

If it walks like a whore and talks like a whore, it's probably a whore.

The best of luck to you.

[Nordwand]

(05-13-2017 11:30 PM)General Mayhem Wrote:  

Unfortunately you just have to pay your dues. Maybe some day you will be reading threads like this, unable to picture yourself giving a fuck if the same thing were to happen to you..

Men who are new to the game don't seem to understand the full suite of female behavior. Probably because mainstream culture only depicts the better end of it. The real spectrum includes worse than the uninitiated could imagine.

It's like the walking dead out there man. They are all infected, even the ones who don't seem like they ever could do anything wrong. They all have the capacity to act out some truly loathsome shit. The only question is if you can handle it.

Set your expectations accordingly and you will never be surprised.

Very, very true. I found out the hard way, which is probably the case for many. Had someone told me the truth of my situation beforehand, and how it would end, I'd have said that they'd been watching too many movies.

[Conquerer7]

Fuck other girls.

[scheme00]

UPDATE: I hung out with her Tuesday night. I found out she went to Hawaii with a new guy "friend" and another couple. She tried to downplay the friend card. I didn't pry and had fun with her when we went out. She denied me sex at the end of the night when we went to bed and said "sorry I'm not in the mood." Looks like she's into the other dude and not me. The next day she proceeded to text me throughout the day which I thought was off. So my pursuit has come to an end. She gets zero texts initiated by me. Only when she texts me and asks to see me is when I will reward her with my time. Thoughts??

[Rocha]

(05-18-2017 10:37 PM)scheme00 Wrote:  

UPDATE: I hung out with her Tuesday night. I found out she went to Hawaii with a new guy "friend" and another couple. She tried to downplay the friend card. I didn't pry and had fun with her when we went out. She denied me sex at the end of the night when we went to bed and said "sorry I'm not in the mood." Looks like she's into the other dude and not me. The next day she proceeded to text me throughout the day which I thought was off. So my pursuit has come to an end. She gets zero texts initiated by me. Only when she texts me and asks to see me is when I will reward her with my time. Thoughts??

I am not too strict myself with the "no contact rule", but this is too much to bear for a man with a minimum of heart and self-esteem.

The hard truth is that she is playing you for a fool.

Delete her phone number, social media, all pictures, sms's, chat's, etc.

Move on. It will be hard in the beginning, it will feel great later. You will get over with it, and will make you stronger.