[Travel Museums]

Looking for advice on managing an MLTR via long distance.

I "have" a Lao 9 in SEA that I enjoy traveling with. We met last year and have taken a couple trips together around Laos and Thailand.

I'm hoping to keep her available. I want to do Malaysia/Myanmar with her next winter. Finding a new girl with her looks and personality is going to be time consuming.

Overall I'm happy with her. I'm just looking to get some better behavior via long distance. I have no interest in going to see her during rainy season.

I've always told her she's free to date other guys. Just use condoms. She knows I date other girls.

She doesn't like it, but is understanding. Lately she says she doesn't want to see them on my social media. She patrols it like a hawk.

She saw a girl from a Chinese hostel in one of my videos. I wasn't even interested in this chick. Nothing happened.

Lao still sent me a wall of text. It was easy to calm her down and reassure her. But what the hell? I know she's dating a guy and lying about it. I try to ignore it. Why can't she do the same?

I want to keep her happy. I have legit feelings of love for her. But I've got to live my life. How am I supposed to react? She probably wants me to get angry and easily manipulated but it's not happening. I think it frustrates her.

I guess I'd like to have her with me all over the world. Unfortunately it's not realistic. A Lao passport sucks for visas. Plus she doesn't have a real income. I'd have to pay for her. She was so close to getting free flights too. But after so much crap I can't justify it.

While traveling around SEA she was mostly paying for herself. I bought her a ticket home when her money ran out. She still owes me $150 for it (which she's offered to payback).

I also had to cancel our plans for Pi Mai in Luang Prabang. Another $100 in cancellation fees. She agreed to pay me half. But I haven't gotten it yet.

She crashed her motorbike three times since I've been gone. At least once she was drunk and got banged up pretty good. 3 months she drove all over the most remote parts of Lao with me. Not a scratch. Crazy.

Her attitude and personality are remarkably good considering how attractive she is. I guess because she grew up in a small village.

She'd make a good wife...except for the fact that she's probably freelanced in the past and is too manipulative. I don't think she'd trustworthy to be left alone as a wife and mother. Considering I love traveling it would never work.

Part of the problem may be my frame. It's solid. But part of her may think I'm so stupid (or so in love with her) she can do whatever she wants.

The reality is I just don't care. I'm not going to stick around Laos. I'm not going to marry her. I just want as much mileage as I can get out of the relationship.

I'm not mean about it. I genuinely care for her. I want her to have a full happy life. I want her to enjoy herself alone and with me.

But she makes this hard. She's either texting me about girls. Making me feel guilty. Or she doesn't cover her own tracks. And people start contacting me about her other guys.

I generally avoid drama with women. When together I keep it to a minimum and focus on enjoyment. So I'm looking for a system to manage this problem.

Of course when she acted out I brought the hammer down quickly. I asked her to leave our hotel room twice last trip (her boyfriend was calling every night and even contacted me distraught).

I had to act a bit upset and shocked by the scenario. Secretly I figured as much. I suspected she had a sponsor when I met her. That's to be expected with hot girls.

While I was under no illusions, I didn't pry for info. I kept it fun and casual. I hoped she might be upper class or at least able to handle her shit. But she's lazy and dumb about it.

I actually liked knowing she had a provider. From what her boyfriend told me he's an older guy back in France. He bought her house and car. I guess he's somewhat out of the picture now. Dying of cancer is what he said.

The boyfriend is newer and youngish. She got him around December while I was away for about 8 months. (Actually I was traveling in Cambodia at the time. She was too lazy and cheap to meet me.)

He's pretty blue pill. He wants to marry her and put babies inside her asap. I don't want to stand in the way. But I'm going to play and not get played.

I don't know what she sees in the guy. But I guess she can put his ugly looks aside. I thought he was handsome when he messaged me on our last trip. Some recent pics got sent my way and I actually feel sorry for her. Her options in life seem so pathetic.

He speaks Lao. He has a job that keeps him in Laos. She knows he can't get a prettier girl. And apparently he is happy to do nothing with his life, month after month. The best he could do was crossing the border to Thailand to shop. That's actually how he got her to fuck him. Ouch. I'd kill myself if that was my life. So pathetic. I just feel so sorry for her.

By now you're thinking I should next her. Yes she has some annoyances/issues. But for the most part it doesn't effect me. I travel and love my life. I'm not going to get emotional and push away a good woman to protect my ego.

Plus I know I'd have the same problems with any halfway decent girl. So I see no reason to next her. Sue me.

She's probably the best girl I've found in SEA. She's not the hottest, but close. She's not the best personality, but close. It's the combination of both her looks and personality that makes her such a good companion. And she doesn't steal. Ever.

I REALLY don't want to have to spend a week hunting around some SEA city for her replacement. Any girl I find is likely to be a clone of her. With the likelihood of stealing my shit when my back is turned. And most girls won't have the freedom to travel for months at a time.

Nevertheless, I'm getting annoyed managing her while I'm away. It's pretty much all done via texts and social media, with an occasional chat on Line app.

The dynamic is pretty straight forward:

I go to new places everyday. I post beautiful photos and video. She's said how jealous she is (though she still "likes" them along with dozens of other girls).

She's constantly worried about other "hypothetical girls" I might have met. She makes me feel guilty. Most of the time I haven't even fucked another chick. I'm picky. I'm busy. I'm in remote areas. I'm moving around every night or two. And I don't speak the languages.

I'm not slaying hundreds of chicks like she thinks. Or she thinks I take one chick with me. She's scared I have a Chinese/Thai/etc version of her that I'm hiding.

I honestly told her that I lost Chinese and Japanese versions of her. Both I could even stay with indefinitely. And it was partly because of her. They saw her in my pics and videos two winters in a row. And broke up with me. Both were a long time coming. I could have milked each longer but too much effort.

Meanwhile I know for a fact she's dating this other guy. People I know in Laos have messaged me. They like me so they want me to find a "good girl".

One girl (married to an expat) even sent me photos of my girl with her boyfriend. I had no choice but to act shocked and hurt of course. Meanwhile I'm just annoyed. It's tiresome.

She's not smart about the "cheating". I easily found her second Facebook. The main picture is her and this dude on Pi Mai. So it's dated too! No plausible deniability. Even on her main Facebook she got tagged in a photo with him sitting next to her. Duh!

How are you going to tell me you don't want to see pics of my random girls every once in awhile, meanwhile you have pics of you and a boyfriend all coupled up? And on top of that she's making me feel like the guilty one? ?

She's also got at least two Line ids. On weekends she won't read/respond to texts until Monday. I know she's with him. It's painfully obvious. But I'm still nice enough to ignore it.

So the dynamic plays out again today. I'm just getting off a Caribbean and Bermuda cruise. Not in the mood for bullshit. And friends in Lao are also texting me about her and providing visuals. So I text:

How is ___(boyfriend)?

She acts dumb; asks why I'd ask about him?

I send a frown emoticon.

She asks again.

I send screenshot the photos from her Facebooks.

Follow up with "I miss you a lot too. But let's cut the crap. It's annoying."

Takes awhile for her to read them. Then hours of radio silence.

I message the boyfriend on Facebook and say I assume she's back to dating you. It's cool but she's trying to run the same routine on me. I really thought we'd all moved past that.

I'd like to think positively about this chick. I don't want to lose ALL respect for her. But she's so dumb and like a broken record.

[Going strong]

Quoting: "I have legit feelings of love for her. "...

No you (apparently) don't. You just, I quote you: "don't want to have to spend a week hunting around some SEA city for her replacement."

Quoting you again: "Her attitude and personality are remarkably good"

But... still quoting you:

"she doesn't have a real income.

She crashed her motorbike three times since I've been gone. At least once she was drunk and got banged up pretty good.

she's probably freelanced in the past and is too manipulative. I don't think she'd be trustworthy to be left alone as a wife and mother. "

So, she is not worth it, next her, friend!

Strangely though, your post made me curious about Laos... if HB9s (even a bit fucked in their heads) are freely available over there, well... I'd consider it my duty to go check the place!

[RatInTheWoods]

I think 98% of your problems are social media. If you leave that out and focus on just enjoying the travel, you wouldn't be shooting yourself in the foot with whatever girl you want to choose.

Or at least leave pictures of chicks out of social media, and stop them liking/commenting.

Not worth the drama.

[kaotic]

Jesus H Christ

So much pedastilization here.

There's so much wrong here.

Long distant shit DOESN'T WORK - you can maintain connections only at that point.

INTEL - Why would you tell her who you're banging and dating, it's none of her business. If anything if feeds her hamster to do whatever she wants - I wouldn't give her free reign either or have a strict don't ask don't tell policy.

SPONSORS - You mock her sponsors, but it sure sounds like you're at least semi sponsoring her also.

SOCIAL MEDIA - Rat has it 100% right, you're freaking out because of social media and keeping tabs on her.

Stop using social media, and don't reach out to dudes she's banging, come on man.


Sounds like you've got a decent income if you're traveling, so why are you worried about one hoe ?

Why aren't you chasing girls on your travels ?

You're too focused on one girl whose hopping on beneficial dick to the next.


You don't need to next her.


If anything keep it mellow, contact her ever so often to see how she's doing, light and friendly texts.

She should be a girl that you know you can bang in a country you're visiting.


As that saying goes, "Different hoes in different area codes."

[PapayaTapper]

Who's gaming who here?

Everytime time I see a "there's this one chick" thread I instantly know who the real "playa" in the equation is and it's always the one with the vagina

[Going strong]

kaotic above:

"girls hopping from one beneficial dick to the next"




21st century "strong, independant woman"'s behavior defined in one short sentence!..

[UlteriorMotive]

(04-30-2017 05:26 PM)PapayaTapper Wrote:  

Who's gaming who here?

Everytime time I see a "there's this one chick" thread I instantly know who the real "playa" in the equation is and it's always the one with the vagina

"#34. You are not to be the bitch in the relationship. If you have to pause and think about it, then you are."

[Travel Museums]

Geez you guys are coming down a bit hard on me for stating the obvious. Hot SEA girls are constantly running their own game on men. There's nothing chumpy about trying to side step it, let it play out on its own, and finally confronting it by saying look at this photo now give me a break woman.

If you have a better method I'm all ears. It's the point of my thread. Nexting is an option, yes. But I'm not in SEA. I can't go out and find a bunch of new prospects. I don't want to waste time doing it online either. I want to plan a multi month multi country trip for next winter with a hot dependable girl and focus on the travel itself. Maybe I should have posted this in the travel section?

I'm always meeting new girls. Very few of them are girls I want to travel with. Even if they are, they're only free two weeks at most. Fuck that noise. I want to travel for months.

Why do I want to travel with one girl? Because I like traveling to remote areas, moving location every night or two, sightseeing all day, then having her give me a massage and fucking her. Game takes a fair amount of time. Unless you're in a big city it's often not worthwhile. Your option is a fat gross foreign backpacker. Great. No abundance. I'd rather get a good nights sleep.

Why force myself to go out tired to hunt for disappointment. I'd rather travel with the prettiest girl in the country and have a blast together. Our trips were a blast. We had time of our lives. I want to do it again somewhere new.

In other countries like Japan or China my philosophy and strategy is a bit different. This is all field tested according to MY lifestyle and MY preferences for what brings me maximum satisfaction. It's not for everyone. I've fucked lots of girls. It bores me now and takes too much time away from sightseeing.

It will be different for other forum members. But don't presume to tell me I'm a chump. I have ten years of world travel under my belt. I know what I want and don't want. What I consider worthwhile and not worthwhile.

Also, her "boyfriend" reached out to me. He was distraught that she was traveling with me. She told him she was on a trip with her nieces for a month
Which became three. It was pretty cold what she did to this guy. I genuinely felt sorry for him. I let him down gently and even got him to send her money to continue her trip with me. You can read all the details in the Vientiane thread. I had to clean up her mess. It's pretty hilarious.

I agree that social media is a huge part of the problem. But the photos and videos are a fun part often travels. I really like having a travel journal to share with friends and family.

I'm pretty careful about it. But occasionally there will be a girl or two in a video or photo. It's just par for the course in today's world.

That's the point I was making by sending her screenshots of her own social media. In less than a minute I could find evidence that she's lying and bullshitting. So just cut the crap.

Either be honest about it or let's ignore it. Stop trying to create a bunch of drama and bad feelings. Life's short. I don't want to feel bad (or have trying to make me feel bad) every time I talk to a chick. No less of she's doing dirty herself. It's childish.

There's been other posts from guys basically asking this same question. How a traveler can keep women in his life is a tough one. At 25 I didn't care so much. At 35 I'd like to at least keep these girls as friends.

We shared a lot of time and memories together. I wouldn't have spent the time with them if I didn't genuinely care for them. Calling out a girls bullshit or not wanting to make my life revolve around her and her geographic location doesn't negate having genuine feelings.

It feels a bit shitty to constantly go through life having to dump girls every month or two. Just so I can be a stone cold bad boy.

[Rhyme or Reason]

Your post is rife with contradictions.

Quote:

She'd make a good wife...

Followed immediately by:

Quote:

I don't think she'd trustworthy to be left alone as a wife and mother.

---------------

Quote:

Part of the problem may be my frame.

Followed immediately by:

Quote:

It's solid.

So is your frame solid, or is it a problem?

---------

Also:

Quote:

I have legit feelings of love for her.

Then later you go on to say:

Quote:

The reality is I just don't care. I'm not going to stick around Laos. I'm not going to marry her. I just want as much mileage as I can get out of the relationship.

Then there's this:

Quote:

I actually liked knowing she had a provider. From what her boyfriend told me he's an older guy back in France. He bought her house and car. I guess he's somewhat out of the picture now. Dying of cancer is what he said.

Cuz bitches who snake money off dying old betas are top tier marriage material...

Quote:

He's pretty blue pill. He wants to marry her and put babies inside her asap. I don't want to stand in the way. But I'm going to play and not get played.

I don't know what she sees in the guy. But I guess she can put his ugly looks aside. I thought he was handsome when he messaged me on our last trip. Some recent pics got sent my way and I actually feel sorry for her. Her options in life seem so pathetic.

He speaks Lao. He has a job that keeps him in Laos. She knows he can't get a prettier girl. And apparently he is happy to do nothing with his life, month after month. The best he could do was crossing the border to Thailand to shop. That's actually how he got her to fuck him. Ouch. I'd kill myself if that was my life. So pathetic. I just feel so sorry for her.

That sounds like a whole lotta' projecting right there man. I have an feeling that you believe the above passage to be true of YOURSELF in your heart of hearts. After all, who's the one twisted up enough about their "Significant Other" enough to type up an semi-coherent, stream-of-consciencesness style lament?

Quote:

She's probably the best girl I've found in SEA. She's not the hottest, but close. She's not the best personality, but close. It's the combination of both her looks and personality that makes her such a good companion.

What about her personality? I'm not seeing much in the way of redeeming qualities from this angle...

Quote:

And she doesn't steal. Ever.

Except from old French betas dying of cancer.

Quote:

How are you going to tell me you don't want to see pics of my random girls every once in awhile, meanwhile you have pics of you and a boyfriend all coupled up? And on top of that she's making me feel like the guilty one? ?

Sounds like you care more, and she knows this and is playing you. You are buying what she's selling. Wake up.

Quote:

I'd like to think positively about this chick. I don't want to lose ALL respect for her. But she's so dumb and like a broken record.

I don't even know what to say about this last line. Jesus. Be honest with yourself, find your terms, then act on them. But this whole thing just sounds like a bunch of bullshit to my ears.

So in summary:

[Phoenix]

(04-30-2017 06:28 PM)Rhyme or Reason Wrote:  

Your post is rife with contradictions.

But that's the point, isn't it? He's making that post with hope we'll help guide his thoughts towards some kind of resolution.

And the mental conflict he's trying to resolve is the obvious one many men here have already had: she's hot or special in some way so you want to keep her, but you know what you're in for if you do.

Basically it can only go one of two ways. You breed with her, or you let her go. Everything else is a dead end as far as life and reality is concerned, and life and reality will repel it. You don't want to breed with her because of the complications and costs involved, and that it will bring your Fun Promiscuous Travel Freedom Time™ to an end or at least heavily choke it. And you don't want to let her go because she's hot stuff. Sorry, but it will end up one or the other.

I wish as much as you, OP, that I could locally freeze time, and always be able to go back to those places and see those people as they were, nothing changed, everything still there ready to continue as you left off. But alas there is no such magic, and life sadly goes on.

[Travel Museums]

I think you're over analyzing my turns of phrase, some of which are meant to be sarcastic.

Such as she'd make a good wife. Obviously by that I mean, no, she would not make a good wife. Then I tell you the huge flaws. I still scratch my head why this boyfriend dude would want to marry her. He is the one who told me all the details about the sponsor!

Yes I bought her a plane ticket home after 3 months of her traveling with me and giving me massages. She was at the bank ready to send me the money for it (plus for the cancellations due to her injury).

I've been traveling and haven't made a big deal about it. I'm not an expat bum living month to month. I also paid for the hotels. I could have forced her to pay half all the time, but then I'd get two weeks of travel from her before sending her home broke. I've had friends subsidize my travel plenty of times.

Hardly makes a sponsor though. In an industrialized country I'd expect an educated working woman to pay 50/50. In a country like Laos that's unrealistic beyond a short vacation maybe.

I'm no better than anyone else. But no else is better than me. That's what I believe in my heart of hearts. I don't have the ridiculous ego of my teens and 20s. I've seen and experienced way too much to be so self centered anymore. It probably does hurt my cold approach game a bit. I don't care. I still do fine.

But like I said, I really don't want to have to spend a month in Bangkok or wherever trying to find a decent replacement. The girl I have is suitable, we have fun, I trust her, etc. Just looking for the best way to manage her.

I know there full time travelers on here. Are you managing women via long distance? Share your experience.

[DVY]

If you even are asking these questions, then this relationship is over.... or soon to be over.

[Tigre]

What would it take to just unfriend each other on social media?

Tell her something before you do it to let her save face. For example, "I care about you too much to see you with someone else. So let's not be too deep in each other's lives until we can be side by side again."

If she wants to see your travel photos, just send them directly in your chats with her.

I had a girl in Brazil with this same kind of dynamic. I spent maybe four months a year with her. Chatted with her about once a week while I wasn't in country. This was before social media existed.

That lasted two years, maybe three. When it was ending, she told me that on one trip, she was conflicted since she had started going out with a local guy. And in the end, she decided to break it off with the local guy and see me. She never told me about it at the time, and I never asked.

You say you don't want to stand in the way of her happiness. But you also want her to be guaranteed available for your trip later in the year.

I don't think you can have it both ways. Do what you can to make her want to see you. But eventually she is going to walk and not come back.

[Travel Museums]

It was always a live in the moment kind of deal with this girl. I managed to steal some extra fun. Of course it's gonna be problematic.

I think you guys are the ones approaching this from an idealistic and naive point of view. I know long distance relationships are the stupidest kind of relationship. I don't care. I'm not trying to have one.

I just want another fun trip with minimal bullshit. I don't have time/logistics to chat with her regularly and send her my photos. Sometimes I'm off the grid. And I can't block her from all my channels and other media. It's public. She'd just make a new alias. Pointless.

She dropped the boyfriend and traveled with me. Tried to keep it secret. I didn't ask either. But she's sloppy and I picked up on it almost immediately. I'm not an idiot. Then after about a month the boyfriend tracked down who I was and lost his shit emotionally.

So I already played that card. Not sure she'll hop along again unless I manage her.

[kaotic]

(04-30-2017 07:34 PM)Travel Museums Wrote:  

It was always a live in the moment kind of deal with this girl. I managed to steal some extra fun. Of course it's gonna be problematic.

I think you guys are the ones approaching this from an idealistic and naive point of view. I know long distance relationships are the stupidest kind of relationship. I don't care. I'm not trying to have one.

I just want another fun trip with minimal bullshit. I don't have time/logistics to chat with her regularly and send her my photos. Sometimes I'm off the grid. And I can't block her from all my channels and other media. It's public. She'd just make a new alias. Pointless.

She dropped the boyfriend and traveled with me. Tried to keep it secret. I didn't ask either. But she's sloppy and I picked up on it almost immediately. I'm not an idiot. Then after about a month the boyfriend tracked down who I was and lost his shit emotionally.

So I already played that card. Not sure she'll hop along again unless I manage her.

Keep telling yourself, that.

We're seeing this objectively, outside of your head.

But we're the foolish and naive ones.

[RatInTheWoods]

Just to repeat - if you take social media out of the equation - you don't have a problem!

I understand the comforts of a SEA travel chick, just text her and hit her up when shes needed.

Its purely the social media giving you all the drama!

[Travel Museums]

Your objective conclusion is with all the game expertise on this board we can't squeeze another glass of delicious travel from this plump orange?
-
You're right. But I'd rather not become a Luddite. I do have friends and family to consider. Plus I make money at it and its my artistic outlet.

[Travel Museums]

Finally got some texts back from this girl. I guess delay is (partly) due to the fact that it was night there. She texted me early am on Laos time.

She apologized and admitted meeting the boyfriend. She could see I read the messages but didn't respond.

So she hits my whatsapp with a couple longer texts. Talking about I'm he "first guy she ever loved too much" and "I really do care about you".

When we text normal we'd both say stuff like "hello my love" and semi sappy stuff. I thought we both understood this was to maintain a state of affection and keep the fire going. But that it wasn't a license to get super sappy with long texts and love triangle Bullshit.

I've just ignored it. I plan to respond at some point. But not sure what to say.

I really don't want to engage the emotional crap. It's pointless. I kinda just want to ask her to send the money now that I'm near my bank to go get it.

But I feel like that reinforces me not caring about her. That's her big gripe. I figure the dynamic would benefit from a little comfort texting. What do I say?

I know how nexting works. Saying nothing is my power, blah blah. I don't care.

I'm not in SEA. This is a good looking but lazy girl. She's gonna do what's easy (go with the blue pill guy) unless I physically show up in the region. That won't happen until next winter.

Before our last text I had asked if she wanted to meet me in Tokyo for kanda festival. She said she had no money for it. Probably true. Dummy could have had free flights... I just replied with a then the stuff I posted a few replies earlier.

Basically I went through this kind of thing for a year to keep her into me. Whenever she gave me shit i told her to stop making all our conversations negative. I pretended she was a chaste virgin waiting for me and praised her. Then changed the subject and told her I loved her and was coming back.

It was easy. It worked. It took texting a few times a week. But I feel like I played that card already. It seems played out. How do I tweak it?

[blck]

(05-01-2017 06:24 AM)Travel Museums Wrote:  

Finally got some texts back from this girl. I guess delay is (partly) due to the fact that it was night there. She texted me early am on Laos time.

She apologized and admitted meeting the boyfriend. She could see I read the messages but didn't respond.

So she hits my whatsapp with a couple longer texts. Talking about I'm he "first guy she ever loved too much" and "I really do care about you".

When we text normal we'd both say stuff like "hello my love" and semi sappy stuff. I thought we both understood this was to maintain a state of affection and keep the fire going. But that it wasn't a license to get super sappy with long texts and love triangle Bullshit.

I've just ignored it. I plan to respond at some point. But not sure what to say.

[Napoleon3]

"Talking about I'm he "first guy she ever loved too much" and "I really do care about you".

THAT OLD CHESTNUT

she's wide awake haha

[Vill@in]

(04-30-2017 04:18 PM)Travel Museums Wrote:  

The reality is I just don't care.

But...you do. You contradict yourself multiple times in your OP and you're even "checking up on her" on social media (hence finding her second FB account).

Don't kid yourself.

[Jack_Smith]

Here's a thought -

Give her up for 30 days.

No contact. No social media. You can even tell her that you're going to be off the grid for a couple weeks if you want, but just give her up 100% for 30 days and see what happens.

I am on Day 13/30 with my #1. Here's why.

No big current issue, but I got oneitis pretty bad in the Fall and worked my ass off to break out of that, fuck other girls, and etc. She's been preoccupied with exams/school and wasn't down the last two times I hit her up. No big. She's got legit shit going on, proposes other dates when she can't make it, invests when we hang , dresses for me like a good little sub. All good. Also, I am not her BF, nor do I want to be, have fucked other girls and have another girl currently in play.

So what's the problem?

I caught myself really feelin it the last time she said no. Then ruminating over that shit. Then checkin her out on social media (totally retarded, I don't even facebook). This type of hamstering, left unchecked, will turn one into a bitch.

Simple solution - just take 30 days off.

[PapayaTapper]

So all this effort now through next winter is (according to you), to string along a girl you dont truly care about until then in order to also according to you save yourself the effort of having to maybe spend a week gaming a replacement, so you can eke out one last travel romp with her?,,,is that about right?

[Rhyme or Reason]

(04-30-2017 07:28 PM)Tigre Wrote:  

What would it take to just unfriend each other on social media?

(04-30-2017 08:17 PM)RatInTheWoods Wrote:  

Just to repeat - if you take social media out of the equation - you don't have a problem!

..

Its purely the social media giving you all the drama!

I'm going to go against the grain here and say social media isn't the problem. At least not in this situation. Most of the time when a guy posts about 'his girl' putting up pics of other guys on Facebook, ect, there is a fair number of replies telling him that social media is the problem, when it's really just a symptom.

Yeah, bitches attention whore on social media. But bitches attention whore anyway.

If a chick is yours, she isn't posting pics of her going out with other guys on facebook. It's really that simple. The problem here is that she doesn't care about OP.

Chicks who are enamored with their man don't play them to the left and make that an obvious fact. When they create a situation like this, where the OP is left wondering why "she cares but doesn't care" or "is invested but won't invest" or "gets mad when I am with someone else but she's also with someone else" i can only refer to Rollo's article of The Medium is The Message.

Now don't get me wrong, I'm not saying social media isn't A problem with women per se. It certainly is. However it's not the source of the narcissistic behavior. It simply exacerbates it. Saying the OP just shouldn't creep on her FB (albiet correct) does not address the fundamental problem which is his feeling the need to creep on her FB.

He can't unsee the pics she's posted of her with other guys, so that genie is out of the bottle, re-applying the blinders at this point does nobody any good.

What he needs to accept is that she does this type of thing for a reason.

Now what that reason is specifically isn't for me to say, but I'd wager that she's not doing it to get a reaction out of him. Even though that's what he wants to believe.

OP, you need to define your terms. Then make a decision, and act on it. Stop trying to straddle the line here, you're only going to drive yourself crazy. You're all over the map on this. You love her, you dont. She was going to send you the money, but didn't. You care, but you don't. Don't try to have it all, because you can't. It seems to me the OP has more interest in looking 'internet cool' to RVF (see the numerous justifications above on why he's not a sponsor and how she's actually really into him and how we're the naive ones here for doubting that) than actually getting what he wants, whatever that is. More on that later...

Now for this post:

(05-01-2017 10:26 AM)Jack_Smith Wrote:  

Here's a thought -

Give her up for 30 days.

No contact. No social media. You can even tell her that you're going to be off the grid for a couple weeks if you want, but just give her up 100% for 30 days and see what happens.

I am on Day 13/30 with my #1. Here's why.

No big current issue, but I got oneitis pretty bad in the Fall and worked my ass off to break out of that, fuck other girls, and etc. She's been preoccupied with exams/school and wasn't down the last two times I hit her up. No big. She's got legit shit going on, proposes other dates when she can't make it, invests when we hang , dresses for me like a good little sub. All good. Also, I am not her BF, nor do I want to be, have fucked other girls and have another girl currently in play.

So what's the problem?

I caught myself really feelin it the last time she said no. Then ruminating over that shit. Then checkin her out on social media (totally retarded, I don't even facebook). This type of hamstering, left unchecked, will turn one into a bitch.

Simple solution - just take 30 days off.

I don't see the point in any of that. Again you are addressing a symptom and not the problem. Some of you guys act as if enjoying time spent with your chick is a sin or something. I really don't fucking get it.

What's wrong with enjoying the company of your chick?

What's wrong with just letting things develop naturally?

What's with the constant need to qualify one's statements about your relationships with stuff like "i'm not her bf" and "i've fucked other girls so i don't get oneitus"

Whether it's to prove your alpha status to RVF, or to yourself, that seems to be the motivation behind such statements.

The entire purpose of game and self development is to improve ones life, improve ones social skills and results with women. So what good is any of it if we get so hung up on "not being her bf" ect (and making a point to pad out and qualify our statements here with that claim, in order to not seem beta) when the end result is you end up losing a chick you actually do care about, even if you claim you don't? The proof is in the putting, and there's a whole 'lotta putting here in this thread.

Bottom line, OP, and Jack Smith, is if you don't invest in a chick, eventually...eventually, they move on. Tight game will extend this grace period, but only for so long. So either decide you want to be with a chick or don't and when the time comes to make that decision, make it. Or it will be made for you.

Overgaming and internet alpha'ing is a real thing.

[General Stalin]

Lots of rationalizations and irrationlizations in here.

You mention how you "don't really care" - you could get exactly what you want if you actually didn't really care.

If you want to see/spend time with this girl when you're in her neck of the woods then do it. You're making it too complicated.

Hit her up when I are looking to travel to/with her. Stop giving a fuck about who she's banging and who she knows your banging. When she sends you walls of text just ignore them.

You say you're not going to marry her and you are apparently self-aware that such a relationship is doomed to tank sooner or later. Stop taking it so seriously. Treat her like what she is: a plate. You contact her when you want to make plans and you ignore and brush away all drama. The logstics if your relationship demand that it stays casual but you are trying to make it more serious than it should be. Lighten up with this girl and just take it easy breezy. Sounds to me like you are just another one if her John's anyway really. You paying for shit for her and other dudes paying for shit for her etc. Don't have dilusions about what your relationship is.