This thread is painful to read. Not only is Feldeinsamkeit in a position where he doesn't know what he doesn't know, but he isn't making any progress either.
He ignores the best advice in the thread. Every one of his posts is further proof that he doesn't get it and he isn't learning anything from this experience either. He is actually getting worse despite his efforts and guys trying to help him.
He is getting worse because he is internalizing the 'too much red pill, not enough game' ideas that women are the problem or that this woman is trying to manipulate him when he provided us with a lot of evidence that she was quite straightforward with him.
This situation was never complicated. It's the man's job to lead. If a man leads then it usually doesn't take much time to figure out if the girl is interested (unless she is a tease, and this girl was not a tease). If a man leads then the girl will be more attracted to him. If a man leads then he can look back at what he did and learn from his successes and mistakes. Feldeinsamkeit didn't lead. He essentially just showed up and expected the situation to work itself out. That is very unattractive to a woman. Maybe she was never interested in the first place but his lack of leading is why he didn't figure it out sooner.
That being said, leading isn't the primary problem. Feldeinsamkeit's mindset about women is why he isn't leading, why he doesn't understand the emotional nature of women, why he isn't learning from his experiences, why he isn't improving, etc. His mindset is the bottleneck that must be removed so he can solve all the other problems.
The best one sentence of advice in this thread is:
Quote: (02-10-2017 04:43 PM)Nordwand Wrote:
Go into this without any preconceptions, and lose the negativity before tomorrow, because at present you're a self fulfilling prophecy.
Feldeinsamkeit responds with:
Quote: (02-10-2017 04:48 PM)Feldeinsamkeit Wrote:
I wouldn't say that I'm carrying any negativity going into this. My only concern is to quickly resolve the interaction with this girl to go in one of two directions: Either fuck me or fuck off.
He says he isn't carrying any negativity but almost every one of his posts includes negativity about women, their "antics" or "scheming", how they are so easy for guys who are tall and well-built, etc. The sentence after he claims to not be carrying any negative includes negativity ("fuck me or fuck off").
Feldeinsamkeit's game with his current mindset is like lining up to run the 100 meter dash with a 100kg barbell on his back. All he has to do is drop the barbell but he doesn't know how because he is so caught up in negativity which, in part, is due to reading too much manosphere and Heartiste.
A lot of this reminds me of myself from a few years ago and the best advice I can give is to focus on acceptance.
Acceptance
1) Some guys need to accept that they might be smart but they aren't naturally good with women. They might be naturally good at other intellectual topics like math or science but they need help with women. They will need a lot of input from other guys to improve. They won't be able to use their intelligence to learn everything by themselves.
2) Accept that women aren't the problem and stop making excuses. Woman are what they are and plenty of guys have success with women including short guys like me. These broads aren't exactly moving targets. Their psychology is pretty consistent and not changing. Every time a guy blames women or talks about how women only go for tall/rich/sociopath guys, he is just rationalizing and making things harder for himself by internalizing his self-limiting beliefs.
3) Accept that women are emotional and irrational. They don't view the world in the same way that men do. This won't change so don't expect women to be logical. Accept that logical/analytical thinking isn't how women think about men so analytical guys will have to work harder to understand them.
4) Accept that western women have some issues but it isn't that bad. We are all products of a species where the reproduction rate for women has been twice as high as the rate for men (80% and 40%). It isn't supposed to be easy and we have huge advantages such as women being much more willing to have frequent sex due to birth control, abortion, etc.
5) Accept that it is going to take work to improve. Most guys can make huge improvements with their appearance, logistics, and game as long as they are willing to put in some work.