Nothing drives me crazy like pictures of hot chicks "cooking". 90% of the time it's some Maxim-esque photoshoot where everything is set up for her and the bitch obviously doesn't know her way around the kitchen. It's painful to look at. Let's break this down shall we
Quote: (02-08-2017 10:59 PM)philosophical_recovery Wrote:
My penis made me venture into this thread for a potential harbor.
Nope.
Time to return to his safe space.
Goddammit stop looking at the camera and focus on your knifework you ignorant slut. Why is her hand on one pepper and the knife is on another?! Why is her cutting board too small with too much clutter on it?! Why is her arm posture so crooked?! There's way too much bend in her wrist, I don't need a 35 year old wife with early onset carpal tunnel, dumb bitch. Why are there what appears to be egg yolks just chilling in the blender pitcher in the background?! Thanks for the salmonella you whore!
For fuck's sake, the pot's not even over the burner and the flame's not on and there's nothing in the pot. Verdict: bitch couldn't even microwave you a hotpocket, let alone season chicken properly.
Inconclusive. Appears to be amateur. Her grip indicates she's not doing any serious cooking, but she could theoretically be mixing batter here. The combination of her boyshorts, trim figure, natural appearance with little to no makeup, perfect brunette hair all set in a proper blue-collar kitchen setting leads me to believe that I'd cover her in my batter.
I can't tell if that's whipped cream or whipped egg whites. Either way, it requires some serious effort to whip them to that stage by hand, would most likely work up a sweat and require greater arm strength than this poser ass ho posseses. Next.
YES. All signs point to Chrissy Teigen here actually making these egg rolls. She's got her wrappers, her seasoned pork mix from a bowl that's clearly in use, and has one in progress that is exactly how you'd wrap it, meticulously so. 10/10 would start a family with.
Now this is a travesty. Cluttered work space. Dirty dishes in the sink. Shitty linoleum floor. I bet she has hairy arms and you just can't see them in the pic. What is this useless slut doing, rubbing a red solo cup rim with lime? And then dipping it in chili salt? Pretend you have just an ounce of class and use a real margarita or rocks glass. What is this a frat house? She should ditch the tequila shots anyway and focus on whatever the fuck is going on in that pan...looks like brown overcooked eggs with some shitty bacon substitute, either turkey bacon or worse, veggie bacon. I'd eat her ass but wouldn't go near anything this bitch tries to cook in a kitchen. NEXT.
OOOHHH her hand is on a pot! Look what a great cook she is! Except that pot isn't actually hot otherwise she'd have to use an oven mitt. I'd put down $100 the pot is empty and this airhead has a hard time making cereal.