[Cr33pin]

Maybe you should just.....Rob Banks

[Rob Banks]

(01-03-2017 01:34 PM)Captainstabbin Wrote:  

Rob, this sounds like a lot of unnecessary drama over just the remaining $17K (after you pay your dad back). Just get the new certs and move out. There's really no need to start family fights or call the police or contact lawyers.

The problem with getting the bonds replaced (which is what I assume you mean when you say "get the new certs") is that they ask you for specific information such as the bond serial number, or the exact month and year the bond was purchased. I cannot get this information unless I have access to the bonds.

I am not looking for family drama. I am looking to get away from family drama.

17 or 18k might not seem like a lot to some people, but it is certainly a lot when you don't have anything.

As for the relationship with my dad, it is already ruined whether I go through with this or not. It has been for years, and it is something I just have to accept. In fact, if I take the money and use it responsibly, that will get my dad to respect me more, which will be better for our relationship than if I keep living at home with him. In fact, when I moved out 3 years ago and supported myself for a while, I got along with him better than ever before.

This thread was supposed to be about what tactics I should use to ensure that the bonds are in my hands after it's all said and done.

I have already contemplated whether or not to do this for the last several months. I have thought long and hard about it, spoken to my girl and my closest friends, seriously doubted whether I should do it (for fear I would spend the money irresponsibly), and then ultimately decided to do it. It's a done deal. This is going down tomorrow or Thursday, most likely. I will be back to report on how it went.

PS: To anyone who thinks I am being an ungrateful asshole to my dad for no reason, I would be happy to talk via PM and give you a detailed account of who my dad really is and all the shit he has done over the years. In fact, I just posted a detailed post (in this thread) detailing all the fucked up weak-minded shit my dad has done over the years, but I decided to delete the post because I didn't feel right about using a public forum to bitch about how "my daddy was mean to me." I'd be happy to go over it through PM, though, if anyone really wants to know.

[Rob Banks]

Also, someone mentioned I should delay moving in with my girl. I don't want to get too much into this topic on this thread, but here is a brief summation of the situation:

I met my girl when I was living in South America with my mom when I was 16. She was 17, a virgin girl from a conservative family, and was from the same town where my mom grew up (and currently lives). Since we started dating, I have spent significant time living in South America with her. I eventually moved back to the US for good (we talk every day and see each other twice a year), and I legally married her and filed the necessary paperwork for her to immigrate to the US back in may. Her immigrant visa should be ready in February or March. (I can provide pictures of the immigration documents, along with other forms of proof, if anyone here doesn't believe me).

She is not too keen (nor am I) on the idea of moving to the US and being forced to live with me and my dad for several years while I finish school.

I would love to wait 10 more years before thinking about having kids and all that stuff, but she is 26 years old, and we are both in agreement that she does not want to wait until her 30s to start having kids.

If this plan (taking the bonds from my dad and moving out) doesn't work out, then my only other option will be to move back to South America with my girl and start a family there. Living at home with my dad for another 2 years and "putting off" moving in with my girl is simply not an option.

[Repo]

What is your reasoning for not withdrawing all of them and paying back the money you owe on the spot?

[EvanWilson]

You only need some of the information to replace the bonds.

I did some research, and as I suspected, while the reissue form says that you need all of the information, that is not true. It just makes it easier if you have all of the information.

Since you know what amounts there are, and your social security number, it should be possible to get the bonds reissued in electronic form without your father even knowing.

http://www.kiplinger.com/article/investi...-bond.html
How to Find a Lost Savings Bond

Quote:

Even if you don't know how many you had, when you got them or what kind they were, you may still be able to track down missing U.S. savings bonds.

Quote:

Start by going to TreasuryDirect.gov and download Form 1048 Claim for Lost, Stolen or Destroyed U.S. Savings Bonds. Fill out as much information as you can about the lost bond including the bond owner's name, address and Social Security number, the approximate issue date (or date range), serial number if available and other details about the loss.

One thing that may make things go easier with your dad. If possible, before you go through the reissue of the bonds, sign over enough to pay dad off, then you can file to get the other 17K reissued electronically to yourself and do whatever you want without any involvement or even your father knowing. I think this will allow you to get your money with the least amount of problems.

Even if you went the other routes, they would all involve court and would take much longer since to even get on a calendar in most places would take months. Calling the police will not help unless they show up with the bonds on a desk in front of dad, and they can't go into his lockbox without a court order.

Of all of the options, I think that is the fastest and best way to get your money is to fill out to reissue the bonds in electronic form. I expect it will take 3 or 4 weeks. Even though you only have your Social Security number and amounts as definite information, they should be able to find them since someone is getting a 1099-INT for the interest that has been building up and paying the taxes on it each year.

One thing I would recommend, is that you do NOT tell anyone (especially girlfriend or dad) that you got the bonds reissued. If anyone asks how you are able to afford to move out, or pay for college, just tell them you are working, had some money saved up, or took out a student loan.

[EvanWilson]

Followup on 'girlfriend'

I reread some of the thread and see that it is your wife that you are going to live with, not just some random girlfriend.

1: Does you father know you are married to her? If yes, does he approve?
Even under the most worst situation, I can not imagine why a father would not want his son's wife to be with him and part of the family. (unless there is something really wrong with her, like a drinking or drug problem)

2: Who signed the support affidavit that is allowing her to immigrate to the US?
I assume we are talking about a K-1 or K-3 Visa?
The support form would be I-129F.

[Kona]

Did you finish college?

Aloha!

[Perfect Stranger]

Part of growing up is becoming a man and standing on your own two feet.

A man owns up to mistakes he has made in his past. This means not blaming other people for your problems, or rationalizing away actions you have made. Your word is all you have got, and you can destroy that so much easier than you can rebuild it.

Pay him the money back that you owe him and stop acting like a spoiled little girl.

When you are required to fix your own messes and attempt to not get into new ones, it is amazing how quickly one's path will right itself and things just kind of fall into place.

[Repo]

(01-03-2017 09:32 AM)Repo Wrote:  

Serious question, are you a drug addict? Because that is my first thought reading this. You owe him $18k, pay your debts like a man. Using saved money to move out when you don't have a source of income is a terrible, terrible idea, no wonder he is so worried about you.

(01-03-2017 06:18 AM)Rob Banks Wrote:  

I have messed around with so-called "hard" drugs in the past. Not the smartest decision, by any means.

I see my question was answered in another thread actually. Unfortunately your line of thinking was way too familiar.

[RoastBeefCurtains4Me]

I noticed you said you'd set aside part of the $17,000 to pay for two years of college, and would use the rest of the money to get a car and a place to live, and to support yourself until you get a job. If you're in the US, you're not being realistic about how far that money's going to go.

If you actually try to spend that money on setting up a new living arrangement, plus supporting yourself until you get work, you're very likely to have no money for school.

I'd stay living with your dad, get a job, save up enough to get your own place, then move out. Save the $17,000 for a down payment on a house or some other solid investment. Grow the money, don't just blow it on day to day living expenses.

Also, you're being too touchy feely about your Dad, as if he's not giving you enough warm fuzzies. He's treating you like a man. He's paying to keep you warm, dry, and fed, and you're bitching about it. I bet if you started working, saved up money to get your own place, and were responsible about it, he'd be real easy to get along with.

All these other people who are pissed with him; is he supporting them too? If you were in his shoes, what would you do that would suddenly make everybody stop being pissed at him? Does it involve him having to get out his wallet? I'll tell you now it won't work any better than it has with you.

I suggest you focus on solving your real problems, and don't burn through your legacy just to put those problems off for a few months.

[christpuncher]

Before any drastic legal or police action, I would first attempt to convince him to give them up happily. What story can you concoct regarding something he would approve of the money for? Buying a house? School program? Wedding? Retirement account?

Surely he has some intention of handing it over eventually... it's your money after all and he is your dad. You have to find his weak spot.

[SamuelBRoberts]

So you're a druggie who's 18k in debt with no degree?

No wonder he doesn't want to entrust you with large sums of money. Asshole or not, you should probably just let him hang on it until you get your shit together, 'cause otherwise you're just gonna blow it.

[Comte De St. Germain]

I'm not even you, but I wouldn't even trust myself if I magicked into 17k. That money should be used as a long term investment. If I was you, I'd get a job and move in with 3 or 4 guys you know and are close to. Split rent on a house in the suburbs and live easy without burdening your dad any further.

A large lump sum of money like that is much more useful down the line than it is right now. I know and you know you'll blow through all of that in a heartbeat.

[greekgod]

What are you majoring in? What field will you be going into?

What is your plan for cash flow long term? Short term?

[chakalaka]

How the fuck will you pay tuition and a house, electricity, water, internet food with 17k? HOW? Stop lying yourself and the forum members. It´s bullshit. You want the money to get high. And your father is keeping you away from it and you miss the thrill. Is this it? You were probably sent to the US because of your addiction. And your mother couldn´t handle you so she sent you to your father. Am I right? Saw a lot of guys like you sniffing coke in the parking lot of my college. Be a man for fuck sake. Drugs is what the world wants you to do. It´s the world telling you your weak and I will abuse you. Now the world wants you to break your fathers heart. Tell the world to FUCK OFF. Hãn FUCK YOU WORLD.

No drugs, no cigarettes, no alcohol (DJT).

[Repo]

This thread is not going in the direction OP hoped.

[Onto]

(01-03-2017 02:07 PM)Rob Banks Wrote:  

As for the relationship with my dad, it is already ruined whether I go through with this or not. It has been for years, and it is something I just have to accept. In fact, if I take the money and use it responsibly, that will get my dad to respect me more, which will be better for our relationship than if I keep living at home with him. In fact, when I moved out 3 years ago and supported myself for a while, I got along with him better than ever before.

You're trying to rationalize why it's ok to steal money from someone. That $18,000 is your Father's money, not yours.

You said in your first post that you take the bonds, walk out, and leave the other $17,000 behind. First, that's shorting him $1,000. Secondly, he can't do shit with those bonds remaining in the safety deposit box and you know that.

You should want to pay him back because it's the right thing to do. A man of good character pays his debts, know matter who it's owed to. You should pay him back because it will be good for your spirit.

As others have said, you should try to work out a deal with him to give you the remaining $17,000 bonds after you give him the $18,000. You could do it one at at a time (you sign away, he give you one) since there seems to be a lack of trust.

Though I can't understand why you don't trust him. He lent you $18,000 of his own money and has protected you from yourself financially (though not well enough).

(01-03-2017 08:26 AM)Rob Banks Wrote:  

(01-03-2017 07:39 AM)chakalaka Wrote:  

I have two sons. If one of them pulled up something like this. Some serious beating would happen.

I wish I had a dad like you. Seriously, I do.

An prime example of how spoiled (undisciplined) children end up resenting and even hating their parents when they become adults.

[zoom]

18K probably isn't going to last you as long as you think it will.

[SamuelBRoberts]

This is an object lesson in why you should never lend people money. It just makes them hate you.

Dude's dad lent him 18 fucking grand, which is half a year's wages for most of the country, and he still hates the guy.

I wish my dad had lent me eighteen grand when I needed it. Or maybe not, since then maybe I would've started hating him.

[eljeffster]

Before you decide on an answer. Make sure to ask the right questions.

You assume that the bonds belong to you because your name is on them. I know you consulted an attorney, but did the attorney discuss or tell you that according to the law your name on the bonds means they are definitely yours without any restrictions? I ask because it seems if your grandmother intended them to be used for certain things, she may have directed they be held in trust with your father as the trustee.

Unless you already clarified this question with the attorney, I would make sure I knew the legal answer to this question before taking any rash or "self-help" action.

[AneroidOcean]

I've always read your posts and just found something pretty off about them. I'm going to break down why I believe you've been acting like a piece of shit (NOTE: I am not saying that you are a piece of shit, but I think you've been fucking up is the gist of what I'm getting at). The only parts below that are important I highlighted in bold:

(01-03-2017 04:42 AM)Rob Banks Wrote:  

My grandmother on my dad's side, who is financially well-off, bought me a bunch of government savings bonds when I was a kid. The bonds were supposed to be used to pay for college, and my dad has been holding onto them since I was a kid. They are currently in his safety deposit box at his bank. Keep in mind that the bonds have my name printed on them and legally belong to me.

Of the (approximately) $50,000 worth of bonds that was originally there, about $35,000 is left. The other $15,000 was spent on college tuition and other various expenses. I currently owe my dad $18,000 for an expensive trip to Europe that he paid for last summer (for which I agreed to pay him back), among other things. Since I have no savings, I agreed to pay him back by singing $18,000 worth of my savings bonds over to him.

I am 25, and I have been asking him to give me my bonds (which, again, legally belong to me) for several years, and he has always refused. He believes I will mismanage the money, and he wants to make sure I have enough left to pay for school.

Recently, he has been bugging me to go to the bank with him to sign the $18,000 in bonds over to him. The process involves me having to go to the bank with my dad, physically sign each individual bond, and authorizing the bank to deposit them into his account. Recently, it occurred to me that when he hands the bonds over for me to sign, I could just keep them, and there would be nothing he could do about it since they legally belong to me (of course, I would pay him the money I owe him from the remaining bonds that he is still holding on to).

I consulted with an attorney who told me that I have the legal right to keep the bonds if I wish. I also consulted with my local police precinct, and they told me that if my dad has the bonds on him and refuses to give them to me, I should call them (although they did not guarantee what exactly they would do in that situation).

Once I get the bonds, I intend to set aside enough to pay for 2 years of school, and use the rest to move out of my dad's house, pay off my car, and support myself until I find full-time work.

Keep in mind that my dad and I have not had a good relationship in years. As a matter of fact, nobody in his family really likes him. He has done things like getting me arrested for relatively minor shit, and alienating me from my extended family by telling them all sorts of negative shit about me that should not be shared. So no, I don't feel fucked up about doing this. I have wanted to move out of my dad's house ever since I moved back in, and this is my opportunity. Additionally, I have a girl who I want to live with and start a family in the not-too-distant future, so this is really a golden opportunity for me.

The attorney I spoke to told me I could sue my dad for the bonds, but I can't afford the legal fees right now, so I have 3 options:

The bonds were supposed to be used to pay for college. He has not spent any of your money (bonds) elsewhere and has in fact lent you a very large amount of money.

Instead of viewing him asking you to pay him back by signing over bonds as an opportunity to pay back your dad INTEREST FREE and perhaps build a shred of belief in him that you could manage your money (bonds) responsibly, you choose to view it as him screwing you over and you try to hatch a plan to TRICK him into giving you some of your bonds (in the amount of the debt) and then to cover your ass you say that you will of course pay him back with the bonds left that he still holds on to.

Once you get the bonds you intend to spend them partially on school but the rest on things that are NOT school. So you're breaking the entire premise of the gift not for some valiant or honorable reason, but just because you want to. Sounds pretty fucked up to me. You also assume you'll find full-time work despite this being one of the worst job markets in some time and the fact that you don't seem to be able to finish anything quickly and you have a record and prior substance abuse problems.

The attorney told you that you're in the legal right but the attorney didn't also agree to take the case if you agree to sign over the bonds in the amount you owe to the attorney. This means the attorney doesn't care at all to work for you because he can't trust you either. Did you not catch this?

Nobody trusts you because you've earned zero trust.

You're thoughts/intended actions are shameful.

If you want to improve your situation, you should at minimum apologize to your dad for your prior mistakes and for not immediately paying him back when he asked. Then you should set up a time to go with him to pay him back.

Once you've shown a shred of decency you can start talking to him about how to get possession of the rest of your bonds, but I doubt he will want to turn them over before you demonstrate even more responsibility/clear headedness.

Incredible that you think you're the victim in this.

[Peregrine]

(01-03-2017 08:42 PM)Repo Wrote:  

This thread is not going in the direction OP hoped.

Took the words right offa my fingers.

[Kona]

I didn't read the part where you say school is still not finished.

Family money is something to be respected and very very grateful for.

Have you thought at all about putting the money into some better earning long term investment for your kids if you have them?

And you and your dads relationship is probably strained because you blew 18k of his cash and haven't Nairn him back. Its simple as that.

One more thing, if I had ever got cops and lawyers involved in something like that with my father he would have forged my signature on the shit and hired hitmen to fuck me up to near death with the money then gone to Vegas with the rest.

I say you go get your dad paid back. Take only a 1k for yourself. Then take that money drive to the nearest lake with your dad. Get a cheap hotel room, beer, BBQ items and a bucket of worms and go fishing with him.

While you guys are fishing,ntell him he can have the rest of the bonds. Tell him you are a grown man and can support yourself.

Your dad isn't gonna be there forever. When henries, you get what's his. It sounds like you have a family that respects the multi generational transfer of wealth, andnyou need to respect that. Your dad does.

Aloha!

[Repo]

The avoidance of all responsibility and litany of excuses gave him away. Not to mention he couldn't even make his own side of the story sound favorable to him. Normal people don't scheme ways to cheat family members out of large sums of money. Because of all of these factors, I assumed hard drug use, this type of victim mentality and manipulative behavior is common among them. Arguing that no one likes his dad as a reason to not pay him back is about as low as it gets. Who does this? Quick search, boom, I was right. Its sad, many people I grew up with were drug users and this is how they all are/were/became. Blameless and entitled. The shit fucks with who you are as a person, and can permanently change you, usually not for the better. I hope you get your life together and seek real help, because it sounds like you don't have anyone.

[iop890]

How the fuck did you spend 18k in a month and a half?

I was in Bangkok for 14 months and spent about that, and that included about half a dozen mini-trips including some expensive cities like Hong Kong and Singapore.

How much blow did you do?