Quote: (01-15-2017 08:28 PM)Robert High Hawk Wrote:
Wow. That sounds incredibly intense. You did a great write up and I can actually see how you ended up with a girl like that, based on your description of yourself and her. Not meant as a criticism though, just saying you did a great job of describing how the situation unfolded.
I would like to take a slightly different tact here and argue that most American woman being as promiscuous and attention/sympathy seeking as they are, it is likely they have been in a "toxic" relationship. I heard the average number of sexual partners for women in the US is like 9, and in major cities like NYC it's twice that amount. If you consider about 10% of women are just in a serious relationship with a 3 or 4 guys total, and 20% are so damn ugly/fat that they just don't ever sex with any guy, then the remaining 60-70% have quite a few partners to up that average. So by being with so many guys, and natural draw to assholish dickheads, as that's the only thing that will turn their desensitized, defiminized minds and bodies on, surely some of those guys will treat bad, or disrepect them at some point, or simply things may not go well, and POOF: It's toxic!
So whenever I hear a girl was in a "toxic" relationship, I just discount it. The term is so broad these days that some guy that occasionally ignores her will meet the definition of him being toxic. If I girl has had 7 past boyfriends, how likely is it that all of them ended up with a handshake/smile, let's agree to be friends!
Not likely.
Well, yeah. And one could blame these women for choosing these men. But in today's society, it's somewhat pointless, because both these women and their feminist supporters will still say that in the end, it's the fault of some man or another, because of the patriarchy.
I'm reminded of how my first wife wrote to her father, in a letter that was found after her death: "Because your actions led me to feel like I was never good enough, because your words made me believe that I'm too weak/stupid/crazy/etc to manage my life, because I have no self-esteem, and because I was raised to believe that abuse was acceptable and that I was either responsible for the abuse I've suffered, or exaggerating it... because of all of that shit, I also now have trouble getting into abusive relationships. I choose men who act towards me the way you do, because it's familiar to me, it's what I know. Like I said, I walked through the doors I went through, I chose to get into these bad, chaotic relationships. But as my father, how dare you lead me to those doors? As my father, it was your responsibility to do better, to teach me to avoid those doors, and if you could not do better, it was your responsibility to get the help, tools, and resources that you needed to be successful, so that I had a chance at a somewhat normal life."
I talked to her dad, and he said the reason why she became so messed up in the head had nothing to do with her upbringing, but rather was because he wasn't able to adopt her until she was already three months old, and therefore she missed out on the opportunity to bond with him during that crucial stage in her life. Maybe if I talked to her biological parents, they in turn would blame someone else for their decisions as well.
No one wants to take responsibility for being the root cause of someone else's death. It reminds me of that scene in
Dead Poets Society, where after Neil kills himself, Charlie says, "Think about it. The board of directors, the trustees and Mr. Nolan. Do you think for one moment they're gonna let this thing just blow over? Schools go down because of things like this. They need a scapegoat."
Oh, but a further explanation of how I ended up with her, is because at the time, we were both in a very weak position, and we were going to rescue each other from our respective situations. Whatever I asked of her, she promised me, and I took it all at face value, because I didn't know any better. She promised me: (1) she would marry me, (2) she would never leave me, (3) she would quit prostitution and for the rest of my life always be faithful to me, (4) she would have as many babies as I wanted, (5) she would quit smoking after she got pregnant, (6) she would let me have sex with as many other women as I wanted, and even let me have a harem of other wives living with us in the same home, (7) she would work with me on a programming project to fulfill my dream of building an Internet company that would change the world and make us billionaires, and (8) if the Internet company failed, she would financially support me for the rest of my life. And then there was one other promise, (9), that I can't mention here, which arguably became the bone of contention that broke the relationship.
When I was going to marry my second wife, I thought, "Okay, that first wife flaked out on at least half the stuff she said she would do, but this time I'm going to find a girl who's from the Philippines, rather than the U.S., and who has a better track record at actually achieving stuff in life, and that way I'll know I can trust her." So, once again I attempted to get what I wanted by getting her to promise a bunch of stuff, viz., (1) she would have sex with me whenever I wanted and as often as I wanted, (2) she would do whatever I wanted in bed, (3) she would let me impregnate her whenever I wanted, and as often as I wanted, (4) she would have as many babies as I wanted, (5) she would grow her hair as long as I wanted, (6) she would stay with me forever, (7) she always be faithful to me, and (8) if I wasn't able to support the family, she would support the family by starting a business, or getting a job, or whatever.
The evening before our wedding day, I went over the promises with her one last time and got her to agree to them again, just to be sure there would be no misunderstandings. She agreed to that list of promises again, then we got married, and now several months into the marriage, she's already flaking out on several of those items and saying it's my duty to man up and give her the kind of life she wants (even though she had said she could take full responsibility for that if need be), and also that I need to quit expecting her to do some of the stuff she promised. At the same time, anything that I promised her, she remembers and tries to hold me to.
Now that I've started reading about how
desire cannot be negotiated, how
women have integrity to their feelings rather than to their word, and how
female loyalty is predicated entirely on the belief you are powerful, her behavior makes perfect sense.
So now I find myself, having taken the Red Pill a little later than might have been convenient, behind the eight-ball and having to rush to try to acquire a bunch of resources so that I can get my beta provider game on point. I suppose I'm also supposed to try to run relationship game on her. I try to run dread game on her sometimes by saying, "If you're not going to put out, maybe I'll just bang your younger sister." I'm not sure if it actually has a positive impact on her behavior, though, especially since I'd have to fly to the Philippines to actually follow through with that idea. Also,
ultimatums communicate powerlessness and hinder genuine desire, so there's that downside too.
I almost just want to start buying lottery tickets, so that, like Charlie Bucket buying chocolate bars in hopes of getting a golden ticket, I can look forward to every week bringing a possibility that I could win a million dollars and go overseas to buy a mansion in the Philippines and start banging and impregnating every cute, virginal 18-year-old who's looking for a better life and/or a half-white baby, and nexting any girl who gets frigid or starts demanding more than we agreed I was going to give her (i.e. a place in my harem). It seems like the only way that a beta can live an alpha-like lifestyle.
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