[Letho]

Hi chaps,

I am at university (American college) and I find I am too selective when it comes to the fairer sex. I just can't bring myself to engage with most women.
I'm looking for advice on what I should do.

Cheers,
Letho

[Kid Twist]

I like this question, because it is an indirect one (if the person is honest and not just crazy pick for no good reason) to the relevant one with women, which is:

What does this woman add to my life?

If you have a hard time answering that, she's not the one to be with. Complex topic, but in the western world, a lot of pairings and marriages have just become a formality due to the confusion of roles, and women's progression towards not settling down until they are in an age bracket beyond [suitable] reproductive years.

[realologist]

Find out what are you selecting these women for.

Not all women in your life have to serve the same purpose.

[kaotic]

(12-06-2016 12:24 PM)Letho Wrote:  

Hi chaps,

I am at university (American college) and I find I am too selective when it comes to the fairer sex. I just can't bring myself to engage with most women.
I'm looking for advice on what I should do.

Cheers,
Letho

How many woman have you approached in the last few years ?

How many bangs do you have ?

How long have you been in the states ?

Do you have any approach anxiety at all or do you really think you're extremely picky ?

[realologist]

(12-06-2016 12:35 PM)realologist Wrote:  

Find out what are you selecting these women for.

Not all women in your life have to serve the same purpose.

To expand on what I said.

What are you looking to get out of these girls?
Bang
FWB
Plate
LTR
Wifey

If it's just a bang than I think you are most likely using "selectivity" as an excuse for approach anxiety.

If that's not it and you don't click with college girls try hollering at the grad students or the freshly graduated crowd(22-26).

[Fightersword]

There's a pretty good chance your supposed pickiness is actually just a manifestation of approach anxiety that gives you a rational reason not to make Approaches. Approach more frequently for a little while and see if this pickiness doesn't fade. It's something you're going to have to force yourself to do sometimes, and less so as you get more comfortable.

And Hell, if you still find yourself being really choosy about which chicks you'll date even when you've gone hard into the arena, you may legitimately just be picky about who you want to lay. But I wouldn't assume that's the case until you've put in the time to prove it.

Your college might also just have shitty female quality in general. I know mine has a lot more misses than hits.

[Repo]

If you think you would enjoy sex with her, approach. Doesnt need to add value to your life or have future gf potential, at your age most wont. Are you looking for bangs or a wife?

[Ogunn]

(12-06-2016 12:24 PM)Letho Wrote:  

Hi chaps,

I am at university (American college) and I find I am too selective when it comes to the fairer sex. I just can't bring myself to engage with most women.
I'm looking for advice on what I should do.

Cheers,
Letho

I am very curious to know what University you are attending. What is it that you dont like about women at your college? The looks, the weight, the race? Since you are from the UK I imagine the quality of women is very similar in the US? Is it the maturity level that you find lacking?

Either way it ultimately doesn't matter. You have to approach and engage women regularly. If you dont instead of practicing being social you are practicing being antisocial, and you become good at what you practice.

Keep in mind that many of these women you are being picky about have relatives, friends and acquaintances that would be to your liking. Unfortunately you will never know if you dont engage and become friendly with them! Just remember you dont have to bang every girl you talk to and become friendly with!

Look into either joining a paternity or some type of club or organization that interests you. Many of these groups attract quality women.

By having more friends you raise your perceived social value. Seldom does the proverbial loner get the hot chick. That BS is for the movies. From my experience the guys that have gotten the hottest quality girls were the most social guys I knew.

Unless you are going to some weird or obscure college with a low student population your options should be almost unlimited .

Report back and let us know how you are coming along.

[wi30]

Listen to your penis. The boner test has never failed me.

[XPQ22]

Get a shorter, slighty thick younger "6" with big tits and ass whose personality you like, to hang out with on the couch with and have cook for you, treats you like a king, and sucks cock like a monster, and an older fitness fiend yoga pant "7" or "8" chick who you can't really relate to but she's just DTF from time to time.

That's my ideal as I head towards 40. You really can have it all! Unfortunately, or fortunately, in the West it's usually not all in the same woman.

[John Michael Kane]

Elaborate. What makes you "too selective"? Their looks, their attitude, something else? Do you value the companionship of a woman more than you value your singleness, or is it the other way around? People with outrageously high standards that don't offer the same value you back stay alone. So you either need to raise your value proposition or re-evaluate your pickiness.

[Rhyme or Reason]

I posit that you are being less than honest with us. You aren't overly selective. You are overly fearful. That is why you do not engage with most women.

If you want to prove me wrong, report back with approaches and how they went.

[Delta]

No one ever said you should engage with most women. If you approached even 5% of the girls you came across, that should be more than enough to keep you busy.

I refuse to believe that a straight man could exist on a college campus without regularly seeing girls he's attracted to. This leads me to agree with the consensus here that it's more you not wanting to approach than not finding anyone worth approaching.

[RatInTheWoods]

I think you are doing it right.

Most women will not bring anything good to your life.

You are right to be very selective (whatever your criteria is) to pick the best ones to add value to your life.

[General Stalin]

"overly selective" is typically a mask incels put on to make excuses for not approaching women. Instead of accepting that you are too nervous to walk up to a strange woman and engage her, you rationalize it away with "she's not good enough anyway." Typical 2/10 pointy elbows syndrome.

Getting over approach anxiety is something you have to navigate yourself. All the advice in the world won't make you get over it aside from good old fashioned practice. You just need to talk to women. No expectation, and no fear. The worst that can happen is she rejects you. Whatever.

[Irenicus]

(12-06-2016 12:24 PM)Letho Wrote:  

Hi chaps,

I am at university (American college) and I find I am too selective when it comes to the fairer sex. I just can't bring myself to engage with most women.
I'm looking for advice on what I should do.

Cheers,
Letho

What do you mean by being too selective?

If you only want to date girls of a higher caliber, I do not see nothing wrong with that.

Especially if your SMV allows that.




For example, I am not dating fat and thicker girls. Why?




Because I have good ones throwing themselves constantly at me (lip licking, Bambi eyes...). 7.5+/10 most of the time. That is a reward for all the effort that I made to improve my station in the sexual market. Why should I bother with low quality? Why should I buy a Jetta if I have a billion dollars in my bank?




By God, when Cappy Cap dies, I am opening another Asshole consulting.



P.S

Of course, if you are turned off by stupid things (i.e she wears fake shoes, or you don't like her perfume)...then is something else, and other posters elaborated on that

[kartik13]

Remember that women do the choosing in the dating game. Its human biology, they select the mate that they want to procreate with. If they like you it means they can procreate a healthy offspring on a unconscious level. What men need is EXPERIENCE with women. Have a healthy relationship with your ego and create as many experiences with women so you have the sexual confidence, social skills, and a understanding of women. Once you achieve that, the probability of achieving success with the women you desire has highly increased.

[puckerman]

See the women you don't want as practice for the ones you do want. Learn and build your skills. It's best to practice when you don't care about the outcome. Go for it.

General Stalin's comments were right on the money.

[philosophical_recovery]

(12-06-2016 08:11 PM)General Stalin Wrote:  

"overly selective" is typically a mask incels put on to make excuses for not approaching women. Instead of accepting that you are too nervous to walk up to a strange woman and engage her, you rationalize it away with "she's not good enough anyway." Typical 2/10 pointy elbows syndrome.

Getting over approach anxiety is something you have to navigate yourself. All the advice in the world won't make you get over it aside from good old fashioned practice. You just need to talk to women. No expectation, and no fear. The worst that can happen is she rejects you. Whatever.

If I had refused to bang my first girlfriend because I have never really been into asians, I'd probably have waited a whole two years to lose my virginity. That's if I met the same girl and things would've gone the same way.

Granted, I didn't know shit about meeting women then but sometimes you just gotta take what you can get.

If you stay in muscular shape, especially if you're in your late teens and early 20s now, you'll still be getting doe eyes from 18 year old tarts well into your 30s. Especially if you have a status-conveying social skill that puts you at the forefront of things. Don't have it now? Get to working.

I still get heavy IOIs from attractive girls in their late teens/early twenties. I probably still will as long as I stay in shape, until I my face starts sagging with age.

[Letho]

Hi again chaps; thanks for all the advice and thoughts.

The university is extremely rural and has roughly 1800 students. When compared with other universities like Cardiff that have 30,000 students, mine is undeniably tiny. Everyone knows everyone.

I'm going out tonight and am going to attempt to decrease my 'selectivity' which I believe is the core problem. I'll try to see past physicality for the most part and get stuck in.

I'll let you chaps know how it goes.

Cheers all!

[Ogunn]

(12-07-2016 02:37 PM)Letho Wrote:  

Hi again chaps; thanks for all the advice and thoughts.

The university is extremely rural and has roughly 1800 students. When compared with other universities like Cardiff that have 30,000 students, mine is undeniably tiny. Everyone knows everyone.

I'm going out tonight and am going to attempt to decrease my 'selectivity' which I believe is the core problem. I'll try to see past physicality for the most part and get stuck in.

I'll let you chaps know how it goes.

Cheers all!

With a student body of 1800 in a rural location. What you say is starting to make more sense. However dont let that stop you! I am sure there are still a couple hundred hotties on campus. You probably have not seen them yet. Competition for them will be steep. Knowing game and having a British accent will give you an edge.

One of the things I did when I was in college was to join an organization that frequently did overnight trips to other college campuses for meetings and activities. This was a great way to meet women from my college as well as others.

Are you far from any major cities or other larger Universities? If you are close I would go there and hang out where all the bars are. I am sure your exotic value will be high.

Actually the more I think about it. There is no way you are more than a few hours drive from a major city no matter where you are in US. Alaska being the only exception!!! Worse case scenario make a few friends have everyone chip in for a car rental and drive out to the nearest big city during the weekends. Hit the local strip of bars, crash at a Hostel or sleep in the car and drive back Sunday. That was the routine for me and my boys when I was in the military. (Military bases are usually located in middle of nowhere!)

If you try hard enough you will find ladies to your liking. You just may have to put in more effort than you are used to.

[Cattle Rustler]

Not be selective?

[Fightersword]

(12-07-2016 02:37 PM)Letho Wrote:  

Hi again chaps; thanks for all the advice and thoughts.

The university is extremely rural and has roughly 1800 students. When compared with other universities like Cardiff that have 30,000 students, mine is undeniably tiny. Everyone knows everyone.

I'm going out tonight and am going to attempt to decrease my 'selectivity' which I believe is the core problem. I'll try to see past physicality for the most part and get stuck in.

I'll let you chaps know how it goes.

Cheers all!

Good on you my man. Definitely let us know if stuff improves for you.

With a student body of 1800 your situation is a lot more likely than I thought, but there should still be some hotties. I mean, mine's bigger than yours but on some days I still struggle to find some even though they exist. But then again mine is a business/art school, so I guess a lot of fugly chicks are attracted to the art major.

All else fails find something off campus to hit up.

[Delta]

(12-07-2016 02:37 PM)Letho Wrote:  

Hi again chaps; thanks for all the advice and thoughts.

The university is extremely rural and has roughly 1800 students. When compared with other universities like Cardiff that have 30,000 students, mine is undeniably tiny. Everyone knows everyone.

I'm going out tonight and am going to attempt to decrease my 'selectivity' which I believe is the core problem. I'll try to see past physicality for the most part and get stuck in.

I'll let you chaps know how it goes.

Cheers all!

If you're in a small community where people know each other and have reputations, cold approaches will do more harm than good. Focus solely on social circle, and specifically to your dilemma, expanding it such that it contains attractive girls.

[VKdog]

Iam selective because it find it so de-grading having to please and kiss the ass of girls who are not as attractive as me. And the girls who are attractive as me well they only want guys with money, lol.