[SilentMajority]

As per title really, but background is that I'm messing around with a chick who is 29 and has two kids, one boy and one girl, both around the 10 year age mark.

Now, while she cool with me, the kids (at times), make annoying little comments, sometimes comparing me to exes I don't know much about.

So far I have tended to ignore and just pat them on their little heads and smile although sometimes, I do see her look at me and possibly think "is he going to let that go unchallenged, or will there be something smart or funny in response?"

As an example, last week the little girl started calling me 'Robert' throughout dinner. That is not my name. Robert was her last relationship / bf, a dude I saw just the once, and he was far from impressive...

Thoughts on tactics?

[UlteriorMotive]

(12-05-2016 09:01 AM)SilentMajority Wrote:  

a chick who is 29 and has two kids, one boy and one girl, both around the 10 year age mark.

(12-05-2016 09:01 AM)SilentMajority Wrote:  

Thoughts on tactics?

[heavy]

Need more info.

Why are you spending any time with some other guys kids?

I think you should re-visit your strategy before figuring out tactics.

[LINUX]

Take the children camping and teach them something. Leave the girlfriend at home.

Let them see you as a role-model and not some new guy on the block who is fucking their mom. Then the childish antics will stop.

[Latan]

Find a girl without kids.
Problem solved.

[Rawmeo]

Having a girlfriend with kids is the equivalent of jizzing while looking at your girlfriend going through a bag of dicks.

There's no reason why you should even meet that single mom's kids. Here's why.

1) Single moms are for banging, nothing else, period. She's a shipwreck, so don't be captain save-a-hoe. Fuck her if she looks good, but never anything more.
2) You should be raising your kids, not some random babydaddy's genetic offspring.
3) Following the 2 points above, you'll just hurt the kids for nothing, because those 2 bastards didn't ask to be bastards. They just wanted 2 parents that love each other, but the mom failed miserably at it. Kids shouldn't bear this burden.
4) If the kids are able to disrespect you, it gives you a good idea of what kind of education they receive from their parents. Which in returns tells you which kind of persons they are.

Run, forest, run.

[SilentMajority]

(12-05-2016 09:26 AM)heavy Wrote:  

Need more info.
Why are you spending any time with some other guys kids?

They tend to pop up at times when I'm round. Obviously when she's at mine, she doesn't bring them, but on occasions when I'm hers, it's their home, so naturally the kids are there.

As far as the chick goes, she is convenient from the perspective that she fucks good, cooks well and doesn't give me a headache about anything. Just how I like it, means I can get on with loads of other stuff, without killing time like a g/f and b/f scenario would.

Appreciate the concerns, however this chick isn't part of my long term game plan.

[RatInTheWoods]

Don't let those disrespects go unchallenged.

Look kid in eyes "My name is Majority - Can you say M A J O R I T Y"? Every time they get your name wrong as an example.

Nail every disrespect with firm boundaries, every time.

Don't be loud, aggressive or asshole, but do assert yourself confidently and consistently.

She will get turned on by this.

If she resents/undermines you doing this then tell her you won't be disrespected like this, walk out and ghost until she apologies, which she will.

Also, have a bit of fun and engage with the kids to win them over and earn their respect.

[John_Galt]

The kids are more alpha than you. They sense it.

Drop the mom. You're starting to give a shit what a 10 year old thinks, and trying to come up with TACTICS against them. Let me repeat that: YOU'RE CONCERNED ABOUT THE COMMENTS FROM A CHILD.

Your only "tactic" at this point should be to ditch this broad and get higher standards in the future.

[philosophical_recovery]

[Panther]

First off, I agree with the posters about rethinking your overall strategy with a single mom.

Aside from that, when dealing with smart ass kids in any situation, I like how Willy Wonka responded some of the kids in the movies, it really throws them off in real life and you don't come across as a butt hurt adult.

[Tex Cruise]

Try to include them, maybe take them out for pizza and a game of ping pong.



Too soon?



Seriosly though, LINUX said it best - especially with boys. You were a boy once too... Find out what they're interested in and share your knowledge, they will look up to you. For girls, the same to some degree but I think it's often more about attention. She sees the pattern where she becomes invisible every time mommy has a new dick in her life. Don't be another one, just pay a little attention to her so she doesn't feel left out.

As an aside, you'll be amazed at just how fast that girl you watched a Disney movie with suddenly becomes the girl you bump into in a bar that gives you a big "OMG!!" hug and introduces you to all her 18 year old friends.

[LeoneVolpe]

(12-05-2016 07:35 PM)John_Galt Wrote:  

The kids are more alpha than you. They sense it.

Drop the mom. You're starting to give a shit what a 10 year old thinks, and trying to come up with TACTICS against them. Let me repeat that: YOU'RE CONCERNED ABOUT THE COMMENTS FROM A CHILD.

Your only "tactic" at this point should be to ditch this broad and get higher standards in the future.

Agreed. Your best "tactic" at this point is to get the hell out of Dodge. There are far too many girls out there without kids for you to be taking flak from some little shit. Besides, do you want to spend the rest of your life getting disrespected? Anytime you ask the kids to do something they don't want to do, they'll respond with "You're not my dad!" Not to mention, your milf will side with her kids over you 99.9% of the time. The only time you'll be "dad" is when it comes time to pay the bills, or buy them school clothes or some shit. Do yourself a favor, let some other dope pick up the tab while you go out and start your own family with a clean slate.

[SilentMajority]

Some good advice and lessons here, appreciate the feedback. After all, that's we improve in life, game, or otherwise.

[Snowplow]

(12-05-2016 11:11 PM)Tex Cruise Wrote:  

Try to include them, maybe take them out for pizza and a game of ping pong.

[brick tamland]

You are firmly in nice guy territory here. The chick is putting you in an audition to be a provider / father figure, or else she wouldn't let you spend much time with her kids. Do you even like the kids? They can be brats, and in a few years they'll be hitting the troubled teenage years. ("F*** off, you're not my father").
We don't have much further background here. Is she divorced? Do they have different fathers? Were is he? How many guys has she allowed around the kids? Are they seeing a procession of guys walking in and out the door?
What's your plan here? Marriage, giving her a third child? Where's your sense of self-interest?

Edit - Think about this for a second - what are the few options left open for a 29 year old girl with two kids and a rapidly declining SMV.

[ivansirko]

I'd run because you care what a 10 year old mutters under their breath about you.

[Volklin]

I agree with what the others have said - get out of there. In my opinion single mothers need to be kept at a distance, you and her are just having short term fun together, not hanging with the kids around. First you're just joking around, next thing you know you're starting to get attached to them and they to you.

[SilentMajority]

I'm not really interested in being a provider, I'm there for the bang and the fantastic meals she makes, without too many questions or demands. I think the most demanding thing she has done was ask me to grab some cigarettes on the way to hers once, that's about it. I just see the kid's behavior as an inconvenience / minor irritation and wanted to see what the more experienced guys have experienced in this regard and how it's been dealt with.

[Fightersword]

Why deal with a single mom and her kids when you could find better poon with less bullshit. Honestly dude it seems like you're really letting the kids get to you too. Putting up with a couple kids for a woman that's about to hit the wall and hard? This is where that abundance mentality's gonna do you good. Get out of there and get yourself a girl worth your time.

[heavy]

(12-05-2016 01:28 PM)SilentMajority Wrote:  

They tend to pop up at times when I'm round. Obviously when she's at mine, she doesn't bring them, but on occasions when I'm hers, it's their home, so naturally the kids are there.

Appreciate the concerns, however this chick isn't part of my long term game plan.

(12-07-2016 09:50 AM)SilentMajority Wrote:  

I'm not really interested in being a provider, I'm there for the bang and the fantastic meals she makes, without too many questions or demands. I think the most demanding thing she has done was ask me to grab some cigarettes on the way to hers once, that's about it. I just see the kid's behavior as an inconvenience / minor irritation and wanted to see what the more experienced guys have experienced in this regard and how it's been dealt with.

Ok. First off, I know where you're coming from. I've "seen" three divorced chicks with each two kids. One was only for a few weeks, the other for a few months, the other for over a year.

For a few weeks chick: I would go over to her house after her kids went to bed and we would fuck. I mean, she wasn't blowing me the second I took my coat off, but "spending time together" meant fucking then leaving around midnight, or if it was during the weekend sans kids we'd grab breakfast the next morning. She tried cornering me with exclusivity and I balked...bye bye. I never met the kids.

For a few months chick: Friend of friends and she lived out of town. I never went to her place. She'd come over and we'd fuck. She asked me to help out with one of the kid's little league teams. To give you my reaction..."What?" bewildered fantastical pity expression. It was so far out of my reality that I would ever help her kid's little league, much less want to ever be around them. I never met the kids.

For the over a year chick: It took some serious soul searching to see her that long. The kids were a little older and I met the them quite a few times, though not until we were at least 6 months in. Even then, I wasn't meeting them as her new guy. She lived in the same neighborhood as a friend of mine with same aged kids, so I was simply interacting as a friend of a friend. After a while they started understanding I was more than that, but even at the end, I avoided most interaction with the kids. And when I did interact, I never portrayed any type of a responsible person to them (provider type).

Don't be the kind of guy who wants to spend time with her kids...so much so that you're the kind of guy she wouldn't even want/expect to spend time with her kids.

The dynamic consists of two things going on:

- You're offering too much of a provider vibe. Think provider = responsible = relationship = good with kids guy. Don't get me wrong, you're probably good with kids (it's not that tough). But be good with your cousins and siblings and nieces and nephews (all family), don't be good with some chicks kids you'll never see again. Be good with your own kids. On those very rare occasions where you have to interact briefly, be apathetic and nonreactive. If they annoy you, wait out in the car until she's ready to go. Don't eat family dinner with them. Even my long-term MILF I dated, I'd never have family dinner with them, and **she'd never think to ask me to**. These are merely tactics.

- To continue that last thought though, if she is pushing her kids on you, she'll probably get pissed and drop you if you're avoiding them. At least for me, I could see how waiting outside in the car for her instead of interacting with her kids would really piss her off, which would simply cause me to move on organically.

Don't be another guy who acts all relationshippy and father-figure like and then never sees them again. It's your job as a man not to be honest about yourself and your relationships, especially with young skulls full of mush.

(This is merely how I conduct myself. You could be the guy who gets to know the kids and spends time with them and then abandons them. That takes a certain level of either zero emotional control or complete don't give a fuckedness. I respect the guy who has that. I don't envy it, but I respect it on a certain level.)

[General Stalin]

I have a strict no-kids rule. If I hook up with a single mom then that's just it; we are banging and I don't want to meet her children. I understand that single moms eventually want to find a stand-in father for their bastard kids, but I'm certainly not that type of guy and I don't want her introducing her offspring to random dudes she is hooking up with. It hurts the children more than anything.

My personal opinion is that you should not be hanging around her children at all if you are just looking to have sex with this woman and nothing more. It's not fair to the children.

I would either cut her loose or say you don't want to be around her children anymore because you don't want them getting the wrong impression.

[puckerman]

Kids are always shit-testing adults. They just engage in different kinds of shit tests. The fact that you've let these kids get under your skin means you have already failed.

When my nephew was four, he got into a phase of telling everyone, "I hate you." I just said back to him, "I don't care."

The girl calls you Robert. You could say back to her, "So, you think I look like Robert Redford? Thank you."

And most moms are going to judge you based on how you act with her kids. So, it's a test for her as well.

While I agree with the general consensus that single moms are often damaged goods, you asked for advice on this situation. I hope it helps.

You also mentioned that she asked you to buy cigarettes. That is certainly an excellent reason to get the hell out of dodge. Smoking is my #1 disqualifier.

[Rob Banks]

(12-07-2016 09:50 AM)SilentMajority Wrote:  

I'm not really interested in being a provider, I'm there for the bang and the fantastic meals she makes...

Then why do you agree to spend time with her children?

Can't you fuck her anywhere besides her place?

[Rob Banks]

(12-07-2016 10:50 PM)puckerman Wrote:  

Kids are always shit-testing adults. They just engage in different kinds of shit tests. The fact that you've let these kids get under your skin means you have already failed.

When my nephew was four, he got into a phase of telling everyone, "I hate you." I just said back to him, "I don't care."

The girl calls you Robert. You could say back to her, "So, you think I look like Robert Redford? Thank you."

My response:

(12-05-2016 07:35 PM)John_Galt Wrote:  

You're starting to give a shit what a 10 year old thinks, and trying to come up with TACTICS against them. Let me repeat that: YOU'RE CONCERNED ABOUT THE COMMENTS FROM A CHILD.