[dirty_old]

For some weird reason I've got a bit of a mental roadblock about this.

Let's say you fucked a girl once or 2-3 times max, and you never called or texted her again. She never reached out either. Maybe you were traveling, or busy with work, or whatever.

Now it's been 2-4 months or more, and you decide you want to see her again.

I know the best advice is going to be along the lines of "if you want to, just do it”

But if you were (or have been) in a similar situation, and it wasn't someone you would just run into around town, how would you hit her up?

I think in this case since I am so hung up on "what to say" ...specific examples of what you would text would be the most helpful for me. don't worry, I will not plagiarize, I will just use your advice as a guideline.

thanks for the input!
much appreciated

[ThePianoMan]

I'd only reach out to set up a new time to hang out. Saying hello for the sake of saying hello is kind of pointless and only results in them having power. I'd just say, "lets get together and catch up over drinks next week. When are you free?"

No need to be complicated about it or try to generate a conversation via text.

[XXL]

Very unlikely in my opinion that a girl will want to see you again in that situation. However if you want something super casual then try to invite her to something you're about to do anyway with or without her, like.. "hey we're going out on X day to X venue around X time, you're welcome, it's gonna be super fun"

[redbeard]

Don't use textspeak on this forum.

[XPQ22]

It panned out for me one time late last year. I hooked up with a girl about six times over a couple months from OKC, then she decided she didn't want to see me anymore. No biggie, I lived about 30 miles from her and was likely just an interim fuckbuddy while she was hittin' up the carousel looking for a new LTR. I knew this was probably the case going in and just went full-bore player on her, she seemed to dig it and we banged the second night out at her place.

A couple months after we "broke up" I was in a bit of a slump and decided to hit her up randomly when I was in the city late one Saturday night. Sent her a pic of my car in an area I know she knows is nearby with something silly like "She keeps asking me whatever happened to that nice young lady in the nav computer from XXX?"

She replied "Haha you're rollin' in my hood tonight, huh?"

I told her to come meet me for drinks at a bar near her, she said "Hah I've had a couple already. Why don't you come by here instead?"

20 minutes later we were banging at her place once again.

Everything seemed well when I left later, but next day she texted me and seemed to be having second thoughts, it made her feel bad, etc. I played it to the left and told her I was really glad to see her again, sometimes things just happen, and we should probably just lay the blame on my car's computer. This seemed to satisfy her, but she was firm that we wouldn't be doing that again. Exchanged a few more kind words, wished each other the best of luck, and that was that. I deleted her number afterwards.

Could've been a dangerous situation, though. In hindsight I don't think it was worth it.

[dirty_old]

Thanks for the advice everyone and especially thepianoman and xxl, that's exactly what I needed to hear.


redbeard: "Hit her up" ? Incomplete sentences or punctuation ?

I will be taking thepianoman's advice. I did not want to start a conversation or just say hello. I should have been more specific of my goal.

[Prof. Ligate]

Anytime a girl I've fucked/ got a number off after a few months texts me an out of the blue variation of these I get a bit of a smirk:

"Hey are you going out?"
"Hey xx Long time no talk. Whats up this weekend"
"You out drinking?"
"Are you going out this weekend?"

This happens a lot and it signals to me that:
a) they are thinking about me
b) they aren't having any good sex at the moment

Sexual relationships are a power struggle. I might be alone on this school of thought, but with the above in mind I refuse to reengage with old bangs once they fizzle out as she will obviously be coming to the same conclusions that I listed.

From my experience recently, times where I thought I should hit these type of girls up and I chose not to - they have contacted me soon after.

Keep the power.

[BigL]

Either way she is going to think that you run out of other options. I would go something like "Hey, I caught myself in your neighborhood, lets meet in 1 hour". You can add few stuff but give yourself a reason to contact her besides "hey, whats up".

[dirty_old]

I went direct with a variation of thepianoman's suggestion, also implying that I was in the area at the time, and she texted back almost instantly, excited to hear from me but implying she was seeing somebody. I sent back a brief text that left the door open for her to contact me in the future (which I had NOT done the last time I saw her).

I imagine if the timing had been different (chance) and I hit her up when she was drunk/horny, she might have neglected to mention the boyfriend, as a couple of the other posters imply. So Fri/Sat or late night best if you're going for that move.


I understand the concern for power dynamics in some cases, and preserving one's pride in other cases... it's something to keep in mind, but in this case I had already concidered those implications & decided I wanted to reach out to her.

Thanks again for sharing your thoughts & advice

[NickDunne]

I just play it cool like it's just been a few days, not months. No need to put yourself on the defensive. If she wants to fuck, she'll make no issue out of it. If she doesn't then it's not important what you write anyway... things in her life could have changed in many ways.

[LeoneVolpe]

Don't overthink it. A simple "Hey stranger, long time no talk" can go a long way. If she quizzes you about your lack of communication, either blame work or you can turn the tables by saying you weren't sure she wanted to talk to you. It might be total bullshit, but it's plausibly deniable enough to make her hamster spin and wonder if she did something unintentionally to dissuade your contact.