[Windom Earle]

Is a bi sexual girl not the way to go?

You both satiate your need for fresh pussy (by way of threesomes) whilst having the stability of an LTR.

I'm currently exploring this option at the moment.

[John_Galt]

^

Bi-sexual girls are, by nature, slutty.

That's a whole set of problems on its own. You'll figure it out soon enough.

[The Catalyst]

(11-23-2016 06:29 AM)The Beast1 Wrote:  

Edit: Men and women nag. I know a gay guy who told me his boyfriend used to nag him about his dirty kitchen. Seriously, get used to this. Generally, I don't view my wife's nagging as nagging. It's generally useful advice I should heed. Things she has nagged me about recently:

1. Sweetie, you haven't gone to the gym in awhile. You need to start going, you've been getting testy lately.
2. You need to get new glasses. Your current ones are falling apart.
3. You need to throw these socks out, they have holes in them and barely cover your foot. I'll buy new ones from Amazon.

Those are a few ones I remember off of the top of my head. If your woman is good, you'll see her nagging as good advice rather than just nags.

Totally. I haven't been in a relationship but I've made good friends with a natural in a relationship. I know both him and the girl are stand up people. Sure, the girl is a bit annoying, and can get cranky on her period. And is annoying like all girls are. But it comes with the territory.

I said to him how his girl was mothering him at times. He agreed and the girl indignantly got "mad" at him, he passes the shit test, all's good. The way he describes it is how he has an impulsive, fun loving part of him and he also has a responsible part of him, so his girl knows that for both their sakes', to encourage the responsible side of him. Might be a bit naggy but it works.

[Geomann180]

(11-28-2016 07:48 PM)Windom Earle Wrote:  

Is a bi sexual girl not the way to go?

You both satiate your need for fresh pussy (by way of threesomes) whilst having the stability of an LTR.

I'm currently exploring this option at the moment.

I stay way from bi girls for fear of the greater likelyhood they have of posessing STDs. I bet many of them have a gay friend with whom they slept with, just so he could try it or something.

I could be full of shit - but alas - that's how I sees it.

If you take the implications of my thoughts to their logical conclusion, bisexual women are a likely vector for common STDs in the gay community, such as Hep C & AIDs.

G

[VincentVinturi]

UPDATE

#####

Primo, thanks again gents for your generosity in helping me think through this situation dispassionately.

I wound up telling my girl that we need to return to living separately for the time being.

I tried not to go into reasons why right away because she wouldn't have heard me anyway.

She was pretty damn despondent.

I just reassured her, caressed her, held my frame and let her know that this is the way it's going to be and that's all there is to it.

A few days later when she calmed down and got a brutal multiorgasmic dicking, I took the opportunity to lay out the rationale whilst she was still in a docile, receptive state.

On a practical level, I was having a nightmarish time juggling entrepreneurship and relation ...ship.

Since I was also supporting her, it was detracting from my ability to bootstrap my company as effectively as I'd like, which in turn impacts my partner and our team members, who are depending on me.

Moreover, she put a huge demand on my time, attention and (most critically) energy.

She stressed me out needlessly over bullshit things and I frankly was sick of reprimanding her and zapping my already frazzled nerves.

Case in point, the day before she left I stopped off at a gym near my office to check out their pricing.

I asked the chick at the front desk about prices / contracts and she looked at me with a blank stare, turned to my girlfriend and started speaking in Thai to her.

This shit drives me up the wall and how Thais cannot see that this is incredibly rude is beyond me.

Anyway, I politely touched her hand, trying to hide my annoyance, and interrupted her calmly saying "excuse me, please speak to ME, in English."

And she proceeded to speak fluent English and explain everything perfectly clearly.

Cunt.

So a few minutes later my girlfriend flips out saying that I was flirting with the gym chick and I told her yeah I was, so what.

If that bothers you we're not going to work.

I love women and I'm not going to dumb myself down for you, I'm not your faggot Thai ex boyfriend who you held under your thumb like your personal bitch.

I understand being discreet and tactful, and I think these are lost masculine qualities that we need to revive and nurture.

But what I did was so insignificant that I didn't even notice I'd done it until she flipped her shit a few minutes later.

I explained all of this to her and made it clear that I'm looking for a lifelong partner who will support me in all ways.

"This is your job," I told her, "it's not easy."

These are the things you have to accept.

If you're not willing to do that, you're free to walk away right now.

And I further explained that if I invite her into my life and she makes it MORE difficult instead of less difficult; if she makes it MORE stressful instead of less stressful; I'll be sad to do it but I WILL pull the plug on this relationship.

And all of the kids and travels and beautiful future we had planned together will burn into cinders.

I said all of this with as much compassion as I could muster (and not quite so starkly as for my RVF homies).

She left last night to go back to Bangkok and we'll be playing it by ear for the foreseeable future.

For me it's back to 13 hour work days - yay.

Thanks again ya'll.

[MongolianAbroad]

Good stuff, Vince! Best of luck on the business!

[John_Galt]

Good shit.

It's really rewarding to give someone advice, and then have them report back later that they used some of it to produce real world results.

Good for you man.

And if she's smart, and the "unicorn" you thought she was----she'll learn from this and fix her attitude and demands. If not---well, it's not like she's the only hot Thai chick that wants a turn with you, amiright?

Keep us updated man! This thread can serve as an inspiration for other men who are in LTR's.

[AneroidOcean]

OP did well to put his foot down. I can't agree that he did it the right way, but in the end I think she'll disqualify herself and it'll be a net win for OP.

Everyone is in a different situation, but being in the US in a very westernized area (as opposed to more rural area), I can't help but chuckle.

The interaction with the gym front desk girl would've been enough for me to tell my girl that she can fish or cut bait. Don't need that level of extreme nonsense.

I'm sure OP has far more game than me, but the relationship game is a whole different ballgame I suppose for most "players."

[VincentVinturi]

(11-29-2016 01:06 AM)Spaniard88 Wrote:  

Good stuff, Vince! Best of luck on the business!

Thanks brotha

(11-29-2016 01:19 AM)John_Galt Wrote:  

Good shit.

It's really rewarding to give someone advice, and then have them report back later that they used some of it to produce real world results.

Good for you man.

And if she's smart, and the "unicorn" you thought she was----she'll learn from this and fix her attitude and demands. If not---well, it's not like she's the only hot Thai chick that wants a turn with you, amiright?

Keep us updated man! This thread can serve as an inspiration for other men who are in LTR's.

You are indeed right good sir, on all counts.

Will try to keep the thread going.

(11-29-2016 02:29 AM)AneroidOcean Wrote:  

OP did well to put his foot down. I can't agree that he did it the right way, but in the end I think she'll disqualify herself and it'll be a net win for OP.

Everyone is in a different situation, but being in the US in a very westernized area (as opposed to more rural area), I can't help but chuckle.

The interaction with the gym front desk girl would've been enough for me to tell my girl that she can fish or cut bait. Don't need that level of extreme nonsense.

I'm sure OP has far more game than me, but the relationship game is a whole different ballgame I suppose for most "players."

If we're talking about "getting laid" game, I can do that just about anywhere with predictable success.

If we're talking about relationship stuff, I'll be the first to admit that I'm like a fish out of water haha.

I see your point of letting a girl go if she flips out over such a minor gesture as touching another chick's hand.

But it's not America and Thais respect personal space, modesty and earned familiarity on a whole different level.

At least superficially.

It amused me when my girlfriend proceeded to explain how in Thai culture strangers don't touch each other like that and that Thai girls aren't cool with that.

Which is true in the sense of "face" or public perception of an action or person.

But in the sense of is it ACTUALLY true?

Hell no because women respond to it if it's done right, I don't care if they're from America, Thailand or Antarctica.

But yeah...I've got a ways to go with this relationship stuff..

[Dream Medicine]

VincentVinturi,

I repped you for your 'I'm not the father' thread and once again I'm impressed with your frankness and humility. These are great traits to see here. More broadly, the topic of relationships for semi-retired seducers is of high interest to me and evidently the readership as a whole. Many of us seem to be increasingly reconsidering the player lifestyle, upon facing the reality of diminishing returns.

In this case, I think you may have overreacted to her jealously, as plenty of young, highly-attached girls would react in a similar way, and often our job as a man is to be the rock, immovable in the face of women's emotional waves. In addition, she is still quite young and therefore relatively malleable. As men, we have to take charge of setting the frame and it's our job to regularly guide our girls -- starting right from the very beginning of the relationship -- through our map of personal values and standards for behaviour.

However, given that you repeatedly noted that she stressed you out, took heaps of your time without care for your business, and overall made your life more difficult, I believe you made the right decision in de-escalating the relationship. Given that you have already tried to modify many of her behaviours, and yet she's still causing anguish, it makes sense to break away. Whilst the vibe will inevitably become less exciting at this stage of any relationship, your life should overall be easier and not harder in my opinion. As you're in Thailand, you have lots of options to shop around

In any case I would be curious to read more about what you mean when you wrote: "I've got a ways to go with this relationship stuff" (?)

Lastly, props for acting congruently with your personal standards. Once we form a strong attachment to a woman, let alone move in with her, it takes serious discipline to consciously break away. I believe that women would be better behaved if more men acted with such integrity as you have. Respect.

[VincentVinturi]

(11-29-2016 05:39 AM)Dream Medicine Wrote:  

I repped you for your 'I'm not the father' thread and once again I'm impressed with your frankness and humility.

Thanks for the rep bro.

Quote:

In any case I would be curious to read more about what you mean when you wrote: "I've got a ways to go with this relationship stuff" (?)

It means that I'm not used to being in any kind of long term relationship with a girl that isn't purely sexual/casual.

Sharing expenses, personal space, decisions, planning for the future, planning a family, considering another person's feelings in the context of "togetherness" while reconciling it with my player nature and respecting myself - these are all things that I've never really had to do and never much wanted to do.

If I had given long term relationships the respect they deserve I'd be entering into this one better equipped and not fighting a steep learning curve.

Specifically this applies to boundaries.

On the one hand I'm not used to apologizing to anybody about anything or making excuses for myself.

I do what I do and I don't hide it and if you don't like it that's your business.

But I can't openly philander on my girl because she's not a whore, has self-respect and would drop me.

She's also not some barefoot Isaan chick who needs hansum man's paycheck.

Second, we've talked a lot about having a big family together.

She adores kids and animals like I've never seen before.

She's a nurturer and if she could just act right I'd be working on offspring #1 already.

But in the sole LTR she had was with a thai guy for basically her entire young adult life, she used the guy as a doormat.

He did whatever she said.

He caved for her all the time and bowed down like a bitch.

She can't understand why he annoyed her so much.

I tried to explain to her that it's because he was a pussy so she felt an inherent disdain for his weak behavior.

But she enjoyed being waited on hand and foot so she didn't break up with him until (surprise) he cheated on her, got busted, and then lied about having a terminal illness to guilt her into not breaking up with him (she called the hospital and found out it was BS).

So that's the archetype of LTR she's used to: 2-faced lying, cheating thai dude with no balls.

I'm not that, and I'm sure that's a big part of her attraction for me, but it's also hard reconciling our expectations around a relationship, a family, and responsibilities.

She's also young and hasn't really gone through any significant hardship or challenge and she quits easily.

On the one hand I wonder if she'll be able to rise to the challenge because I have friends who molded their wives from raw material into champions of the family who really took care of their businesses honorably.

On the other hand I wonder if I'm doing myself a big disservice by ignoring the Janka maxim "difficult girls remain difficult".

In an ideal world I'd just do whatever the fuck I want all the time and never hear a word of complaint about it.

I'd perfectly compartmentalize work, travel, me-time, wife/family time, side piece time, jiu jitsu time, and creative time.

But young girls who are in love with you have little sense of compartmentalization.

They don't see how it's suffocating and distracting when they follow you to the gym and hang out until you've finished your workout, or when they hangout at the coworking space waiting impatiently for you to finish so you can go spend your hard won money stuffing their faces with some sweet garbage they beg you to get them.

I realize I sound cynical like I don't care about this girl but the truth is I'm fucking crazy about her.

Maybe it's blinding me, I don't know.

Maybe we haven't given it enough time - it's only been a few months since we got "serious"; before that it was casual.

Maybe I don't have enough experience in "committed" relationships to avoid the pitfalls.

One thing I know for sure is that I'm not going to compromise on being who I am.

So if things fall apart I honestly won't lose sleep over it because in the end I'm true to myself and that's what matters to me.

Will we be able to make it work?

Stay tuned for another exciting episode of Vincent Vinturi in an LTR!

[TravelerKai]

(11-23-2016 12:17 AM)VincentVinturi Wrote:  

Gents, you are all legends. Thanks for the thoughtful, considerate comments.

A few clarifications:

1 - "Ball busting" was really the wrong term.

It's more like pouting.

My girl doesn't bust my balls in the Western sense, I'd put up with that for about 400 milliseconds.

She's Thai, and her modality is one of whining and complaining in a little girly kid voice when she doesn't get her way.

It's generally about small stuff like going somewhere, or buying something we don't really need but that she wants, like a dessert.

She'll pout and make a little fuss but I generally don't let this affect my frame at all.

I also let her know if she's stressing me out and that I absolutely don't appreciate it and won't tolerate it.

And she chills out.

In fact, I had a long conversation with her where I in no uncertain terms let her know that if she's adding more stress to my already-stressful life (I'm an entrepreneur bootstrapping a quickly growing company) that I'll kick her to the curb sooner rather than later.

The main reason she pouts or whimpers is generally around me not giving her attention, which she needs a lot of.

Maybe too much.

And she's young (newly 22), has no sense of direction or urgency about her life, and little respect for my extremely limited and expensive time.

But I take ownership of educating her on these fronts and she's come around a lot.

I don't want to apologize for her but on the other hand how can she knows these things if I don't communicate them to her?

I also have to make it clear that she's generally VERY submissive and obedient and at no point have I ever been under her thumb in any way whatsoever.

I'm perfectly willing to walk away, and she knows it.


2 - @StrikeBack

Thanks for the mindset tune up.

This is very common for Asian girls at that age. By the time she is 24-ish, she will begin to mellow out a little bit. My wife at 23 would whimper sometimes for extremely mundane things. It never irritated me at the time because I used to be married to an American feminist woman, and nothing is worse than that. If anything I found it cute. My exwife was older than me. My wife is 5 years younger and it did feel strange constantly giving orders like she is a kid. Eventually I figured out that, this is actually normal, and we are just too conditioned from the West that women should act like men, which gives us these ideas.

My wife is a unicorn (in my opinion at least) and life is awesome with her. Once kid number one came, the only change was that the silly/goofy stuff transferred from her to the daughter. Now my wife is way more serious about everything than ever before. She is now keeping me on schedule on dr. appointments, etc! I actually expected this, because Asian women really snap to attention after kids. My daughter is a lightning rod of energy. Her motor never stops and she is running us raggedy. My son is a newborn, yet causes us no extra grief.

No idea if you guys will ever have kids, but once you do, it's like you go from managing her to light-to-no supervision of the wife, to a team effort in controlling the lil' monster tearing up the house and causing trouble. Those terrible 2's are terrible indeed. It's all kid dependent though. Your kids may be more moderate around 2 than my first one, it's mostly personality, etc.

So in alot of ways, your molding on her now, is excellent from a strategy perspective, because you do not need to be repeating old lessons or dealing with silly stuff when kids come later. She can read your mind on things and know what will fly and what won't. That said, you will find new things to battle as well. As you try to figure out how to raise kids, you will be repeating yourself on mundane or silly things again (for example: I have to keep reminding my wife to not let my daughter kick or be rough with her). My wife is getting better at all these things, but sometimes it's aggravating to deal with, like if I am trying to post on RVF or working

I will give you a couple of warnings though Vince. Like I told Kaotic and that other guy whose name I forgot, do not let LTRs spoil out if you really want to keep her. Past 2 years, if you do not want to commit to her, she will rot overnight, possibly becoming irreparable. If you don't want her, don't ruin her if you can help it. Don't string her along forever, because being a mother is important to her. Because you were smart enough to get a young one, you can have a little bit more buffer space than some of the other guys in LTRs on the forum on the kid part, but at most its about 2 extra years. You would still need to give her some legitimacy in your life. That is the only real sacrifice you will have to make. All others are small and pale in comparison.

The second warning, is that Asian girls need their mothers for child rearing. If her mother is around, make sure she is solid and good to go before you drop any seed. That mother is going to ride her ass for you too. She is going to grow by watching her own mother as well. Asian grandmothers are usually no nonsense with the adults. Also, culture wise, these girls rely on their mothers to help them raise kids alot. Alot more than Westerners do. My mother in law stays with us alot now, all at my father in law's request actually.

Another key is to have fun. If you feel as if you are going to go all the way with this one, start having more fun and relax. The storm off in the distance that shake men to their core is still in your horizon. You two need to trust each other with your lives and be unbreakable. My wife and I agree, we cannot understand how some couples love their kids more than each other. It always feels like it is us vs the kids. Anyway, once the family comes, your woman will do her part. Then you will be in my shoes, trying furiously to blueprint and map out a future for everyone. Working on increasing the income. Working on a few more side businesses. Trying to find more serious guys around you to partner up with on ventures. Trying to figure out where to settle down, or not settle down at all, home-school or private schools. Can I just raise them in China or should I just hunker down in the USA? Maybe both? I have like 3 years left with kid number one, and 5 years for number two. I recently got location independent and that feels awesome, but I know that I still need even more income later within the next 5 years.

Wanna talk about pressure or sacrifice? These are actually unpleasant brother, but I am glad my wife will still follow me into whatever hell I decide and not give me grief. That's the stuff you cannot buy nor put a price on.

[John_Galt]

As a side note, I want to briefly mention a topic I've discussed in another thread----the long-term benefits of a woman who kept her virginity.

Women are like canvases. They start out just a beautiful white canvas. Every dick they take spills paint on their canvas. Eventually, so much paint has been spilled onto the canvas that there's no room for you to paint your own masterpiece----you're just trying to paint over something that was already there before you came along.

It sounds like this girl has been with only one other man. Still, you're seeing the effects of his "paint" on your canvas. I'm not saying drop her----I'm just giving you a heads up. It's always more difficult to paint around someone elses work.

This has nothing to do with loyalty or her likelihood to stray. I'm discussing only the fact that women are molded by the men they sleep with. The first man she's with has the strongest ability to mold her, for better or for worse. Her first man taught her a lot of bad habits, and she's going to have to "unlearn" those. If you had been her first, she'd be a blank canvas and you would likely not have these issues.

I'm not saying to forget about her---I'm only trying to keep you informed about the differences between women based on their life choices. She may or may not be the right girl for you, that's for you to decide.

[VincentVinturi]

@TravelerKai

That sounds lovely to me to be honest.

I'll never tire of banging chicks on the side - and frankly, thai culture recognizes this natural urge and doesn't fight against it too much - but the desire to have kids and actually BUILD something is strong.

So much of the player lifestyle is consumptive.

Eat, drink, spend, fuck.

Well, what are you building for the FUTURE, for your legacy, for the world?

Time to think big gentlemen...

[Meat Head]

^I never understood how you can love a woman and still cheat on her. How do you reconcile those two things?

[griffinmill]

(11-29-2016 10:58 AM)Meat Head Wrote:  

^I never understood how you can love a woman and still cheat on her. How do you reconcile those two things?

Your heart and your cock operate independently.

[VincentVinturi]

(11-29-2016 10:58 AM)Meat Head Wrote:  

^I never understood how you can love a woman and still cheat on her. How do you reconcile those two things?

No reconciliation is necessary because the two aren't mutually exclusive.

Check your premises.

In order for love to be "true", is it true that you must only have sex with woman for so long as you're together?

Why or why not?

Is it not antithetical to male nature (in general; there are exceptions and individual variances) to mate with only one female?

Are you familiar with the Coolidge Effect?

Not only is restricting yourself to one woman unnatural, I hold that it is actually detrimental to the well being of your relationship to your primary woman.

When you fuck other women it stokes your libido and gives you much needed variety.

It also enhances your love, appreciation and lust for your main girl by way of contrast.

Pardon the analogy but you can't eat steak every night, I don't care how much you love steak.

On this point I am absolutely unwilling to compromise.

This is different however from being indiscreet and flaunting your philandering to your girl's face; that type of behavior is incredibly offensive to any woman who has a decent reputation, is not a whore and has a modicum of self-respect.*

*Caveat is if she's your sexual plaything you can do that kind of shit and she'll get off on the dominance. If you've got a good girl and you're in an LTR and live in a fixed location the loss of face and reputation would be too much for most girls to bear, let alone Asian girls.

Further, there's no reason you can't be a gentleman about it.

Your woman will know of your extracurricular activities, she's a woman, she fucking knows.

Rubbing it in her face is ungracious.

But there's no escaping biology and on this I'm resolute.

[XXL]

(11-29-2016 08:07 AM)VincentVinturi Wrote:  

Maybe I don't have enough experience in "committed" relationships to avoid the pitfalls.

One thing I know for sure is that I'm not going to compromise on being who I am.

So if things fall apart I honestly won't lose sleep over it because in the end I'm true to myself and that's what matters to me.

You're on a right track. The best way you can "enter" LTR is to be upfront about who you are, how you live and apply yourself. Just like you did when you confronted her when she was nagging about you flirting with gym chick.

Men often make classic mistake of arguing with a girl instead of punishing their irrational behavior. They assume that reasoning and providing rational explanations in thorough way will convince a woman to understand they're wrong and change their minds/behaviors. What ends up happening is the first few sentences turn into an argument that only fuels woman's emotions. What's much better instead is to expose their irrational shit and punish her by cutting her off, withdrawing your attention. It takes more or less disciplining before it's possible to reason with her.

In other words.. good job Mr V.

[DirectDanger]

@VincentVinturi...

I don't have any great words of advice for you as many others have expressed worthy opinions on the topic. I just wanted to share my empathy for your situation. More than once living in SEA I would find myself in a relationship with a girl similar to yours. I wish you luck and hope you keep us updated.

[TravelerKai]

(11-29-2016 12:10 PM)VincentVinturi Wrote:  

(11-29-2016 10:58 AM)Meat Head Wrote:  

^I never understood how you can love a woman and still cheat on her. How do you reconcile those two things?

No reconciliation is necessary because the two aren't mutually exclusive.

Check your premises.

In order for love to be "true", is it true that you must only have sex with woman for so long as you're together?

Why or why not?

Is it not antithetical to male nature (in general; there are exceptions and individual variances) to mate with only one female?

Are you familiar with the Coolidge Effect?

Not only is restricting yourself to one woman unnatural, I hold that it is actually detrimental to the well being of your relationship to your primary woman.

When you fuck other women it stokes your libido and gives you much needed variety.

It also enhances your love, appreciation and lust for your main girl by way of contrast.

Pardon the analogy but you can't eat steak every night, I don't care how much you love steak.

On this point I am absolutely unwilling to compromise.

This is different however from being indiscreet and flaunting your philandering to your girl's face; that type of behavior is incredibly offensive to any woman who has a decent reputation, is not a whore and has a modicum of self-respect.*

*Caveat is if she's your sexual plaything you can do that kind of shit and she'll get off on the dominance. If you've got a good girl and you're in an LTR and live in a fixed location the loss of face and reputation would be too much for most girls to bear, let alone Asian girls.

Further, there's no reason you can't be a gentleman about it.

Your woman will know of your extracurricular activities, she's a woman, she fucking knows.

Rubbing it in her face is ungracious.

But there's no escaping biology and on this I'm resolute.

I think you need to start screening and shit testing pretty much ASAP after a girl goes from just a bang to girlfriend status. Some Japanese, Chinese, and Korean women do not mind if a man gets some outside, but I have not dated or talked to enough Thai women to know if they have that same attitude or not. I know of one person with a Thai wife that does not mind, as long as she doesn't find out about it. At least it is not a Pinay, I they are just too jealous minded for that to work.

Anyway, you have good game, you can figure out when to ask this without it coming off as disgusting or whatever. Maybe you have to feel it out and perhaps, for some of them, you can only ask for this after you have created a bond first. Who knows. Just start making a habit of getting this cleared up before investing too much emotional and human capital into the relationship. Also this should help set the tone early on, as well as avoid, a trail of tears that are unnecessary to make as you continue to search.

I almost feel bad for all you dudes that do not like Asians. Good luck finding that feature in a non-Asian woman!

[Rob Banks]

(11-29-2016 10:58 AM)Meat Head Wrote:  

^I never understood how you can love a woman and still cheat on her. How do you reconcile those two things?

Because I'm not a woman, that's how.

[Rawmeo]

How can we love a woman and cheat on her? Well, our heart and cock are independant. And like I mentioned in other threads, cheating on your wife / girlfriend WILL reinforce your desire for her. After a while banging the same girl, no matter how nice she is, nothing feels special about the sex anymore - it's just "yeah another time". But once you jumped the fence and went to get some pussy elsewhere, you see your LTR / wife as a better girl and realize how comfortable you are with her. Plus, if she gets mad about something, it's easier to forgive her knowing that you were fucking another girl yesterday - no more doormat feelings.

VincentVinturi got it right: Compare this with steak. You love steak, so I'll give you one. After a week of eating steak for every meal, you will start feeling tired of it. You still love steak (and always will), but you need some variety.

@John_Galt: That's 100% true. Personally, that might sound harsh, but I will never put a ring on the finger of a girl who gave her virginity to another man. I don't care if she's Miss Thailand, or the daughter of a billionaire. No hymen, no diamond, period. My wife was a virgin. Every woman bonds strongly to the man who deflowers her, and it is stastically proven that women who kept their virginity for their husband have healthier marriages. A non-virgin woman can come with its load of problems: being on her guard because she got cheated on, having been heartbroken, etc.

And don't give me the argument of "sex isn't good". You have the opportunity to shape the girl and teach her to do sex exactly like you want it. She'll be yours, do everything you like, and you'll get that fuzzy feeling of knowing that no other dick was inside your wife. I don't my kids to get kissed by lips who have been on other men's cocks before. That's precisely why I do not game virgins: if I deflower one, I just burned another man's wife, and considered lowered her SMV just so I could have a bang. I prefer to bang a second-hand girl as this has no consequences.

@VincentVenturi: Your girl has a boyfriend before. Unless it was "puppy love" like a lot of Thais have at a young age, she isn't a virgin. Be VERY careful before proceeding with her. You are handling the situation pretty well, but that's something that can't be changed with this girl.

[Rob Banks]

(11-30-2016 10:25 PM)Rawmeo Wrote:  

@John_Galt: That's 100% true. Personally, that might sound harsh, but I will never put a ring on the finger of a girl who gave her virginity to another man. I don't care if she's Miss Thailand, or the daughter of a billionaire. No hymen, no diamond, period. My wife was a virgin. Every woman bonds strongly to the man who deflowers her, and it is stastically proven that women who kept their virginity for their husband have healthier marriages. A non-virgin woman can come with its load of problems: being on her guard because she got cheated on, having been heartbroken, etc.

Very true. And even if she didn't get cheated on or heartbroken (i.e. she was the one to end the relationship with her ex, or she lost her virginity from a drunken ONS), that doesn't really change much, as far as I'm concerned.

(11-30-2016 10:25 PM)Rawmeo Wrote:  

And don't give me the argument of "sex isn't good". You have the opportunity to shape the girl and teach her to do sex exactly like you want it. She'll be yours, do everything you like, and you'll get that fuzzy feeling of knowing that no other dick was inside your wife. I don't my kids to get kissed by lips who have been on other men's cocks before. That's precisely why I do not game virgins: if I deflower one, I just burned another man's wife, and considered lowered her SMV just so I could have a bang. I prefer to bang a second-hand girl as this has no consequences.

It annoys me to no end when guys claim to prefer sexually experienced women because "they are good in bed." It is the man who is supposed to take control in bed and "teach" the woman, not the other way around. In the context of a marriage or LTR, I think the woman's ability to truly love and be loyal to her man is just a tad more important than her ability to give good blowjobs.

[VincentVinturi]

@rawmeo - no she's not a virgin.

She had one long term relationship before and one fling.

I'm #3.

[Easy_C]

(11-22-2016 05:43 PM)John_Galt Wrote:  

Relationships are two-way transactions. You have to give and take. Honestly, sometimes it helps to just schedule a date night every week. It sounds beta as fuck, but if you want the relationship to keep from getting stale, it needs to be done. Otherwise you'll just neglect her and she'll get tired of that. Like you said, THIS SHIT IS HARD WORK.

A date isn't "beta" by definition. It's only beta when you're doing it like your average dater dude and following the bluepill blueprint where you think you need to take her out to impress her. A common tactic among some of the most alpha guys I've met is to set up a coffee/ice cream date with new girls. Point is the date itself isn't that important. The purpose of the "date" is to get her outside her usual momentum and into a relaxing,fresh environment where she can talk. You aren't trying to impress her, you aren't trying to get laid....the only purpose of the "date" is to spend some time communicating and enjoying each other's company without worrying about anything else.

Owning a woman's mind is like owning a motorcycle: no matter how shiny new it is, you need to do perform your regularly scheduled maintenance.