^
Not a unicorn. Not even close.
You won't miss her. You weren't attached for a reason. Good call on cutting her loose.
Not a unicorn. Not even close.
You won't miss her. You weren't attached for a reason. Good call on cutting her loose.
Relationships are HARD work
It's a good thing that you're honest with us in mentioning all the details. You being #3 means approximatedly #5. She is far from being a whore, but still, she sacrificed her chance of getting a traditional marriage ceremony, along with the sin sot (payment made to the bride's family which is usually returned), by choosing another man than her husband as her first.
If you feel the desire to "have some space" and stop living with her, there is a reason for it. It's because your feelings aren't totally on her side, and you also feel that something is "off". Perhaps that she is just providing you with some comfort while not being exactly the girl you want. Not sure, but it's my view on the situation now.
In Thailand, kids learn at a very young age the basics of buddhism, the history of the royal family, etc. in order to preserve a culture. A culture that we have lost in the West for decades now and that has been replaced by feminism. The culture tells young Thai girls to not slut around and to keep their virginity for their man. A girl who can't even respect this basic principle is sure to have other things that you'll discover later.
One of my buddies sacrificed his chances of being an airline pilot (and had to give up camp) because he chose to drive drunk and got a DUI.
Your girl sacrificed her chances of walking down the aisle in a dress with a ring on her finger because she chose excitement over love.
Not a unicorn
If you feel the desire to "have some space" and stop living with her, there is a reason for it. It's because your feelings aren't totally on her side, and you also feel that something is "off". Perhaps that she is just providing you with some comfort while not being exactly the girl you want. Not sure, but it's my view on the situation now.
In Thailand, kids learn at a very young age the basics of buddhism, the history of the royal family, etc. in order to preserve a culture. A culture that we have lost in the West for decades now and that has been replaced by feminism. The culture tells young Thai girls to not slut around and to keep their virginity for their man. A girl who can't even respect this basic principle is sure to have other things that you'll discover later.
One of my buddies sacrificed his chances of being an airline pilot (and had to give up camp) because he chose to drive drunk and got a DUI.
Your girl sacrificed her chances of walking down the aisle in a dress with a ring on her finger because she chose excitement over love.
Not a unicorn
Exactly what Rawmeo said.
I can understand the argument against "virgin hunting" for guys unwilling to leave the West. But you're already in Thailand, and will be for the foreseeable future. No reason to settle for sloppy seconds.
You know that saying, "Once you go black, you won't go back."?
Well, it's the same for virgins. Except its a fact.
Try it---it's a whole different world. They will worship the ground you walk on and fuck and suck EXACTLY how you want.
I can understand the argument against "virgin hunting" for guys unwilling to leave the West. But you're already in Thailand, and will be for the foreseeable future. No reason to settle for sloppy seconds.
You know that saying, "Once you go black, you won't go back."?
Well, it's the same for virgins. Except its a fact.
Try it---it's a whole different world. They will worship the ground you walk on and fuck and suck EXACTLY how you want.
To be honest I'm not at all bothered by her not being a virgin.
If she'd had more than a few partners that would probably be a deal breaker though.
@Rawmeo - interesting, I didn't know that not being a virgin forfeits the traditional marriage and sin sot.
If she'd had more than a few partners that would probably be a deal breaker though.
@Rawmeo - interesting, I didn't know that not being a virgin forfeits the traditional marriage and sin sot.
↑ ↑ So at what point do you draw the line? How many partners would you consider "more than a few?"
Is 3 partners OK but not 4? Is 4 partners OK but not 5?
In my opinion, there is obviously a difference between a girl who has had 2 partners and a whore who has had more than 10. That being said, I think there is a bigger difference between 0 partners and 1 than there is between 1 and 10.
If you look at those graphs that show the probability of divorce as a function of how many previous partners the girl had, you notice that the biggest drop-off is between 0 (virgin bride) and 1. Between 1 and 2, there is a much smaller drop-off.
Is 3 partners OK but not 4? Is 4 partners OK but not 5?
In my opinion, there is obviously a difference between a girl who has had 2 partners and a whore who has had more than 10. That being said, I think there is a bigger difference between 0 partners and 1 than there is between 1 and 10.
If you look at those graphs that show the probability of divorce as a function of how many previous partners the girl had, you notice that the biggest drop-off is between 0 (virgin bride) and 1. Between 1 and 2, there is a much smaller drop-off.
@Rob Banks
That's a good question.
I think it's important to factor in good advice, the facts, statistics and try to reconcile them with your gut feeling about a girl.
In the end, this is somebody you're going to be living with, raising kids with, going through all sorts of shit together with.
So there's got to be that mutual love and respect.
@Rawmeo
I followed up and asked my girl about the sin sot / virgin thing and she said that yeah most thai guys would't marry a non-virgin.
Although according to her that, along with a lot of the traditional stuff is changing.
I told her I didn't mind about the virginity stuff but if her parents were going to ask me for sin sod and not promise to return that it would probably be a deal breaker.
She said better if we don't get married at all because she thinks the whole thing is a bunch of BS to begin with.
Or if we, make it a really low key thing with just a few close friends and relatives, no sin sod, and no big fanfare.
Which is in line with my kind of thinking because I was never big on institutions.
If you love somebody and you get married that's a great way to take things out of the province of free choice into the province of obligation which can have a suffocating effect on a relationship.
That's a good question.
I think it's important to factor in good advice, the facts, statistics and try to reconcile them with your gut feeling about a girl.
In the end, this is somebody you're going to be living with, raising kids with, going through all sorts of shit together with.
So there's got to be that mutual love and respect.
@Rawmeo
I followed up and asked my girl about the sin sot / virgin thing and she said that yeah most thai guys would't marry a non-virgin.
Although according to her that, along with a lot of the traditional stuff is changing.
I told her I didn't mind about the virginity stuff but if her parents were going to ask me for sin sod and not promise to return that it would probably be a deal breaker.
She said better if we don't get married at all because she thinks the whole thing is a bunch of BS to begin with.
Or if we, make it a really low key thing with just a few close friends and relatives, no sin sod, and no big fanfare.
Which is in line with my kind of thinking because I was never big on institutions.
If you love somebody and you get married that's a great way to take things out of the province of free choice into the province of obligation which can have a suffocating effect on a relationship.
She's right about the "most thai guys wouldn't marry a non-virgin". About the traditional stuff changing, it is only in the minds of the girls who strayed from the path. My wife agrees that the culture is still strong here. If you want a real test, ask her if she would accept to have kids outside marriage. If she says "No, you need to married to have kids", that's the right answer. If she would accept to do it, run as fast as you can.
Whatever you choose, and whoever you choose to marry, always have a prenup. It costs around $1000 but will save you lots of trouble later. Never marry a girl who won't sign one. This is a strict criteria that should be applied to any girl, anywhere in the world. I recommend Siam Legal, they're at Asoke / Sukhumvit junction and IMO they're the best. That'll take out the "obligation" part. Although most Asian girls will not divorce-rape men like in the West, better be careful.
A non-virgin might get a traditional marriage, if she has something else to compensate for it. A girl coming from a very wealthy family might get a free pass for this. As for the sin sot, most families (90%) will secretely give it back. I think "showing sin sot" is more appropriate than "paying sin sot". A family who wants to keep the sin sot isn't a family you want to marry into. The sin sot is determined according to the social status of the girl, and is mostly used to prove that the girl isn't marrying a deadbeat. It depends on several factors:
- Virgin or not (in most cases, a non-virgin forfeits her right to sin sot, unless she has something extremely good to compensate for it (being nice doesn't count). If she has kids, ZERO sin sot, ever, unless you want to become the cockold of the place)
- Net worth and occupation
- Parents' social status
- Your social status / income
- Her intelligence and beauty
- Etc.
Even if the girl is a virgin, you should still expect the sin sot to be returned to you. Ensure that you make this clear with her family beforehand. Do not forget that if they "forgot" or if they "changed their mind", the law can't protect you, so there's a huge part of trust here, it all depends on how much you trust the in-laws. As for me, it was returned without any issues.
Whatever you choose, and whoever you choose to marry, always have a prenup. It costs around $1000 but will save you lots of trouble later. Never marry a girl who won't sign one. This is a strict criteria that should be applied to any girl, anywhere in the world. I recommend Siam Legal, they're at Asoke / Sukhumvit junction and IMO they're the best. That'll take out the "obligation" part. Although most Asian girls will not divorce-rape men like in the West, better be careful.
A non-virgin might get a traditional marriage, if she has something else to compensate for it. A girl coming from a very wealthy family might get a free pass for this. As for the sin sot, most families (90%) will secretely give it back. I think "showing sin sot" is more appropriate than "paying sin sot". A family who wants to keep the sin sot isn't a family you want to marry into. The sin sot is determined according to the social status of the girl, and is mostly used to prove that the girl isn't marrying a deadbeat. It depends on several factors:
- Virgin or not (in most cases, a non-virgin forfeits her right to sin sot, unless she has something extremely good to compensate for it (being nice doesn't count). If she has kids, ZERO sin sot, ever, unless you want to become the cockold of the place)
- Net worth and occupation
- Parents' social status
- Your social status / income
- Her intelligence and beauty
- Etc.
Even if the girl is a virgin, you should still expect the sin sot to be returned to you. Ensure that you make this clear with her family beforehand. Do not forget that if they "forgot" or if they "changed their mind", the law can't protect you, so there's a huge part of trust here, it all depends on how much you trust the in-laws. As for me, it was returned without any issues.
^^^
Interesting stuff man, how long you been in Thailand?
My girl is perfectly fine with having kids out of wedlock.
We both agreed before we ever got serious that we didn't think much of marriage.
I don't view that particular item as a poor reflection on her character.
She thinks marriage is whack and so do I.
Yes it would have repercussions with her family, who are more traditionally minded.
But it speaks all the more to me that she would be willing to displease them immensely and go against such a strong cultural pull by not doing something she doesn't believe in because she decided, via using her own brain, that it's a lot of hogwash.
I see no reason to marry in Thailand, or in any land for that matter.
It's an antiquated tradition that offers little benefit to you and in Thailand, not much benefit to the woman either since you can walk away pretty much scot free if shit goes south.
If marriage is what keeps you together with a woman then it's weak glue indeed.
Interesting stuff man, how long you been in Thailand?
My girl is perfectly fine with having kids out of wedlock.
We both agreed before we ever got serious that we didn't think much of marriage.
I don't view that particular item as a poor reflection on her character.
She thinks marriage is whack and so do I.
Yes it would have repercussions with her family, who are more traditionally minded.
But it speaks all the more to me that she would be willing to displease them immensely and go against such a strong cultural pull by not doing something she doesn't believe in because she decided, via using her own brain, that it's a lot of hogwash.
I see no reason to marry in Thailand, or in any land for that matter.
It's an antiquated tradition that offers little benefit to you and in Thailand, not much benefit to the woman either since you can walk away pretty much scot free if shit goes south.
If marriage is what keeps you together with a woman then it's weak glue indeed.
^
All right man, it sounds like you don't really care about tradition/morality/etc of marriage, which is fine, to each his own, but keep in mind, this shit wasn't invented for the hell of it, it was invented as a way of creating stable families and keeping women in line.
If you want to be constantly "gaming" your wife, this is the type of girl you should marry. Note that I said "constantly". ALL women, IMO, require some degree of "maintenance game", similar to getting the oil changed on your car. But women like this require it to a much greater degree and more often. If that's something you enjoy, have right at it!
I think that marriage is simply a "frame". Just like when you get shit-tested by a girl, she's testing your "frame" marriage is a "frame" you both agree to operate in. Sometimes one of you might push the frame, and the other needs to remind (via game, etc) of what the frame is. Can you have kids and raise them successfully without marriage? Sure, but why reinvent the wheel?
I'm not really sure what you want. Honestly, you seem to be all over the place. I'm basing my assumptions purely based on your writing in this thread, obviously with nearly 900 posts there's probably a lot more to your thoughts than what I've read so far, but I don't think you're ready for any kind of real commitment yet. And that's fine. Keep being a player until you WANT to settle down. Don't commit to some Thai girl simply because you feel pressured (by whatever forces it may be) to settle with a "unicorn" (who frankly, is nothing special).
When YOU decide you want to have kids, or have stability, or whatever it is you want, THEN start screening for the girl who has the traits you desire. Until then, keep fucking girls and building your business.
Unless you're 60, there's no rush. New girls turn 18 everyday.
My opinion is that you're one of the few men who simply isn't cut-out for marriage. And that's ok. Certainly many great men in history remained unmarried and still accomplished a lot to be proud of. You have to decide what's right for you. If you like girls with a notch count and don't want to get married, don't let anyone in this forum or anywhere for that matter tell you you should like something else.
All right man, it sounds like you don't really care about tradition/morality/etc of marriage, which is fine, to each his own, but keep in mind, this shit wasn't invented for the hell of it, it was invented as a way of creating stable families and keeping women in line.
If you want to be constantly "gaming" your wife, this is the type of girl you should marry. Note that I said "constantly". ALL women, IMO, require some degree of "maintenance game", similar to getting the oil changed on your car. But women like this require it to a much greater degree and more often. If that's something you enjoy, have right at it!
I think that marriage is simply a "frame". Just like when you get shit-tested by a girl, she's testing your "frame" marriage is a "frame" you both agree to operate in. Sometimes one of you might push the frame, and the other needs to remind (via game, etc) of what the frame is. Can you have kids and raise them successfully without marriage? Sure, but why reinvent the wheel?
I'm not really sure what you want. Honestly, you seem to be all over the place. I'm basing my assumptions purely based on your writing in this thread, obviously with nearly 900 posts there's probably a lot more to your thoughts than what I've read so far, but I don't think you're ready for any kind of real commitment yet. And that's fine. Keep being a player until you WANT to settle down. Don't commit to some Thai girl simply because you feel pressured (by whatever forces it may be) to settle with a "unicorn" (who frankly, is nothing special).
When YOU decide you want to have kids, or have stability, or whatever it is you want, THEN start screening for the girl who has the traits you desire. Until then, keep fucking girls and building your business.
Unless you're 60, there's no rush. New girls turn 18 everyday.
My opinion is that you're one of the few men who simply isn't cut-out for marriage. And that's ok. Certainly many great men in history remained unmarried and still accomplished a lot to be proud of. You have to decide what's right for you. If you like girls with a notch count and don't want to get married, don't let anyone in this forum or anywhere for that matter tell you you should like something else.
Quote: (12-02-2016 10:09 AM)Rob Banks Wrote:
↑ ↑ So at what point do you draw the line? How many partners would you consider "more than a few?"
Is 3 partners OK but not 4? Is 4 partners OK but not 5?
In my opinion, there is obviously a difference between a girl who has had 2 partners and a whore who has had more than 10. That being said, I think there is a bigger difference between 0 partners and 1 than there is between 1 and 10.
If you look at those graphs that show the probability of divorce as a function of how many previous partners the girl had, you notice that the biggest drop-off is between 0 (virgin bride) and 1. Between 1 and 2, there is a much smaller drop-off.
I think the Age Old 3 is there for good wisdom. I also think if she isn't a virgin those other 1, 2, 3 should have been boyfriends, not one night stands or flings if you go down that road.
My outlook is hey if you aren't going for a girl as a partner for life why not do this.
I still believe the future will be two people will get together only to have kids and be parents and live near or with each other and have no romance. Dating and sex is outside the relationship completely.
Honestly I do not think at all that that trying to match up for both long term sexual attraction and parenting traits makes any sense and is going against odds.
Why not keep these separate altogether from the beginning and everyone is happy?
SENS Foundation - help stop age-related diseases
Quote: (05-19-2016 12:01 PM)Giovonny Wrote:
If I talk to 100 19 year old girls, at least one of them is getting fucked!
Quote:WestIndianArchie Wrote:
Am I reacting to her? No pussy, all problems
Or
Is she reacting to me? All pussy, no problems
Because paternity will always be in question.
Yes, there are DNA tests. Sure. But biologically we aren't built for this shit.
Also, do you really want your kids growing up seeing a line of cocks coming in and out the door? No thanks.
Tons of reasons why two parent homes are superior for families. Lots of studies showing it's better.
If you aren't interested in kids, that's a different story.
Yes, there are DNA tests. Sure. But biologically we aren't built for this shit.
Also, do you really want your kids growing up seeing a line of cocks coming in and out the door? No thanks.
Tons of reasons why two parent homes are superior for families. Lots of studies showing it's better.
If you aren't interested in kids, that's a different story.
Quote: (12-02-2016 11:55 AM)VincentVinturi Wrote:
If you love somebody and you get married that's a great way to take things out of the province of free choice into the province of obligation which can have a suffocating effect on a relationship.
I have to disagree with you there. There are solid reasons why marriage was the norm in all respectable societies and civilizations, even before Christianity.
Modern people think of "marriage" and they immediately think of a somewhat useless legal document which entitles the woman to half the man's shit, even if she cuckolds him and then divorces him. However, this "marriage" I just described is not the same concept of marriage that kept European societies running for millennia.
Back during traditional times (i.e. over 99% of civilized human history), marriage was necessary because the man needed to publicly pledge his commitment to the woman before being allowed to sleep with her, so that he couldn't leave the woman and claim he never promised commitment. And the woman's father had to formally and publicly give his daughter to the man, so that he couldn't later claim he never gave permission. Also, the woman had to publicly promise to give herself to the man, so that she could not claim she was taken against her will (i.e. raped). There were no "marital rape" laws, since agreeing to marry the guy was considered to be sufficient consent. There were witnesses to all of this, so that none of the parties (the man, the woman, and the woman's father) could later claim something different.
It is all too common in today's world for men to promise commitment to a woman only to knock her up and leave her to raise the baby alone, or for women to marry a man only to refuse to have sex with him and eventually divorce him. These disputes would be far less common if a couple is formally married, with terms and conditions of the marriage laid out clearly, with both the man's and the woman's family as witnesses.
Just to be clear, I am not saying OP should marry his girl, or anything like that. I am just talking in general about marriage, and why it was necessary throughout history.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Quote: (12-02-2016 01:40 PM)VincentVinturi Wrote:
My girl is perfectly fine with having kids out of wedlock.
We both agreed before we ever got serious that we didn't think much of marriage.
I don't view that particular item as a poor reflection on her character.
She thinks marriage is whack and so do I.
I assume if you have a kid without being married, you will at least be 100% committed to each other, correct? If you're sure your girl will never leave you or cheat on you, then raising a kid without technically being married shouldn't be a problem.
That being said, the only reason someone would be hesitant about getting married is because they're not 100% sure the relationship will work out. If you trust a woman enough to bring a child into the world with her, then how do you not trust her enough to marry her?
Quote: (12-02-2016 01:40 PM)VincentVinturi Wrote:
Yes it would have repercussions with her family, who are more traditionally minded.
But it speaks all the more to me that she would be willing to displease them immensely and go against such a strong cultural pull by not doing something she doesn't believe in because she decided, via using her own brain, that it's a lot of hogwash.
I see no reason to marry in Thailand, or in any land for that matter.
It's an antiquated tradition that offers little benefit to you and in Thailand, not much benefit to the woman either since you can walk away pretty much scot free if shit goes south.
As I have said, I tend to think traditionally-minded women are the best kind of women for long-term relationships and commitment. I just can't get on board with viewing a woman "going against 'antiquated' cultural traditions" and "being independent-minded enough to go against family traditions" as a positive thing.
Quote: (12-02-2016 01:40 PM)VincentVinturi Wrote:
If marriage is what keeps you together with a woman then it's weak glue indeed.
You've got the cause-and-effect backwards. It is not marriage that keeps a man and woman committed to each other. It is the commitment and love between a man and woman that drives them to get married. If either partner is hesitant about marriage, that is a sign they are not fully committed to the other partner.
It is certainly possible for two people to be committed to each other and not get married. But when one (or both) partners adamantly insist on not getting married, it is a sign that they are not fully sure the relationship will work out.
Some guys would respond to this by saying "I love her and want to commit to her, but I won't marry her because I don't want to risk being divorce-raped." And to that, I would say "If you can't even trust her enough to not divorce-rape you, how can you trust her to be the mother of your children?"
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Quote: (12-02-2016 06:28 PM)Travesty Wrote:
Quote: (12-02-2016 10:09 AM)Rob Banks Wrote:
↑ ↑ So at what point do you draw the line? How many partners would you consider "more than a few?"
Is 3 partners OK but not 4? Is 4 partners OK but not 5?
In my opinion, there is obviously a difference between a girl who has had 2 partners and a whore who has had more than 10. That being said, I think there is a bigger difference between 0 partners and 1 than there is between 1 and 10.
If you look at those graphs that show the probability of divorce as a function of how many previous partners the girl had, you notice that the biggest drop-off is between 0 (virgin bride) and 1. Between 1 and 2, there is a much smaller drop-off.
I think the Age Old 3 is there for good wisdom. I also think if she isn't a virgin those other 1, 2, 3 should have been boyfriends, not one night stands or flings if you go down that road.
I know some of you guys may disagree with me on this, but I don't necessarily think a girl who had 3 long-term boyfriends is better than a girl who had 3 drunken one-night stands. If anything, a girl who had a few one-night stands -- and immediately regretted it and felt disgusted with herself -- is more desirable than a girl who is a "serial monogamist" and had 3 long-term boyfriends. At least the former girl regretted what she did right away, whereas the latter did not. Just because a girl was "in love" with the men she slept with doesn't make her any better than a girl who was not in love with her sex partners.
Also, in your opinion, what is better about a girl with 3 previous partners than a girl with 4? To me, there really wouldn't be that much of a difference.
Quote: (12-02-2016 06:28 PM)Travesty Wrote:
My outlook is hey if you aren't going for a girl as a partner for life why not do this.
Everything I am saying in this post is assuming you're looking for a woman to be a long-term partner. If you're looking for a more casual, short-term relationship, then what I am saying in this post does not apply to you.
Quote: (12-02-2016 06:28 PM)Travesty Wrote:
I still believe the future will be two people will get together only to have kids and be parents and live near or with each other and have no romance. Dating and sex is outside the relationship completely.
Honestly I do not think at all that that trying to match up for both long term sexual attraction and parenting traits makes any sense and is going against odds.
Why not keep these separate altogether from the beginning and everyone is happy?
This sounds more like some kind of leftist "brave new world" utopia than something that could actually work in the real world. No matter how much society and culture changes, it will never, ever be healthy for a kid to grow up with parents who do not feel a connection with each other and are having sex with other people, regardless of whether or not the kid is aware of it.
To answer OP's question, I've been here for 4 years and speak & write fluent Thai, and studied Thai history and culture in school. I have some buddies who are veterans here, 20+ years, and who taught me a lot about that.
For a virgin, you can expect:
Around 500,000 baht for a minimum wage worker
Around 1,500,000 baht for a middle class office worker
Around 5,000,000 baht for a middle upper class woman (salary above 100,000 baht per month)
And it goes up to hundreds of millions for actors, celebrities, etc.
Of course several factors can alter this, but it's a gross average. You can negotiate, and try to pay as little as you can get away with. My wife's parents asked for 2,000,000 which was fully returned (28 y.o., virgin, university graduate, 40,000 baht monthly salary, retired middle class parents).
You told us that your girlfriend would accept having kids outside marriage and doesn't believe in marriage. I've seen enough failed relationships here to tell you that she isn't the one you want to start a family with. "Marriage is just a paper" is a myth perpetuated by the leftist agenda to break the family unit and make the population easier to control. Mass population control, they say. This is why the West of the world is going in a downhill spiral, and that's why I ran away and came to live here.
In Thailand, the laws prohibit filing a rape charge against your spouse. However, fake rape charges by Thai girls are VERY rare, I've never heard of one.
A kid needs to be raised by 2 parents. There is no other option. It can't be a single parent and a step parent. A kid needs to see both parents loving each other, living together, and raising him good. This is how we make healthy kids who will, in return, believe in the family unit and tell feminists to fuck off.
So, in short, no matter how good a woman might seem, the #1 criteria is that she must believe in the traditional way of raising a family, which she doesn't. You have quite a reputation on this forum, so I do my best to give you a totally objective point of view, based on my experience and common sense. Do not let your feelings for this girl make you take the wrong path. Of course, you can keep her on the side, she isn't a monster, but you should be seeking another girl as your potential wife. If you want to know more, ask her if she thinks that it's important that the wife takes her husband's last name. The answer must be a fresh yes. My wife did, and was more than happy to.
If you find a girl that is wife material, I'll also be happy to advice you the best I can on this.
For a virgin, you can expect:
Around 500,000 baht for a minimum wage worker
Around 1,500,000 baht for a middle class office worker
Around 5,000,000 baht for a middle upper class woman (salary above 100,000 baht per month)
And it goes up to hundreds of millions for actors, celebrities, etc.
Of course several factors can alter this, but it's a gross average. You can negotiate, and try to pay as little as you can get away with. My wife's parents asked for 2,000,000 which was fully returned (28 y.o., virgin, university graduate, 40,000 baht monthly salary, retired middle class parents).
You told us that your girlfriend would accept having kids outside marriage and doesn't believe in marriage. I've seen enough failed relationships here to tell you that she isn't the one you want to start a family with. "Marriage is just a paper" is a myth perpetuated by the leftist agenda to break the family unit and make the population easier to control. Mass population control, they say. This is why the West of the world is going in a downhill spiral, and that's why I ran away and came to live here.
In Thailand, the laws prohibit filing a rape charge against your spouse. However, fake rape charges by Thai girls are VERY rare, I've never heard of one.
A kid needs to be raised by 2 parents. There is no other option. It can't be a single parent and a step parent. A kid needs to see both parents loving each other, living together, and raising him good. This is how we make healthy kids who will, in return, believe in the family unit and tell feminists to fuck off.
So, in short, no matter how good a woman might seem, the #1 criteria is that she must believe in the traditional way of raising a family, which she doesn't. You have quite a reputation on this forum, so I do my best to give you a totally objective point of view, based on my experience and common sense. Do not let your feelings for this girl make you take the wrong path. Of course, you can keep her on the side, she isn't a monster, but you should be seeking another girl as your potential wife. If you want to know more, ask her if she thinks that it's important that the wife takes her husband's last name. The answer must be a fresh yes. My wife did, and was more than happy to.
If you find a girl that is wife material, I'll also be happy to advice you the best I can on this.
Quote: (12-02-2016 09:04 PM)Rob Banks Wrote:
Quote: (12-02-2016 06:28 PM)Travesty Wrote:
I think the Age Old 3 is there for good wisdom. I also think if she isn't a virgin those other 1, 2, 3 should have been boyfriends, not one night stands or flings if you go down that road.
I know some of you guys may disagree with me on this, but I don't necessarily think a girl who had 3 long-term boyfriends is better than a girl who had 3 drunken one-night stands. If anything, a girl who had a few one-night stands -- and immediately regretted it and felt disgusted with herself -- is more desirable than a girl who is a "serial monogamist" and had 3 long-term boyfriends. At least the former girl regretted what she did right away, whereas the latter did not. Just because a girl was "in love" with the men she slept with doesn't make her any better than a girl who was not in love with her sex partners.
Also, in your opinion, what is better about a girl with 3 previous partners than a girl with 4? To me, there really wouldn't be that much of a difference.
I don't understand this notion either.
A girl with a couple of one night stand protected sex is no big deal at all. She had a phase in her life or some kind of moment where she was open to causal sex and that's it. Guy came up, picked her up, banged her once just for the quick pleasure and left. 10 SNLs is 10 sexual intercourses. That's nothing.
Now compare that to a girl who had 3 long term relationships already. That's countless sexual intercourses. Her first boyfriend did everything he could to her multiple times over looong period of time. Then the 2nd one did it the same but harder cause she's more experienced. Then the 3rd one destroyed her in bed. By that point she's done everything everywhere even if her BFs were not that crazy or savvy in bed.
So if you guys value that "purity" then a girl who had 3 BFs is as dirty as they come already. The fact that those guy were her boyfriends doesn't make her sexual history any better. They were guys who fucked her once, stayed and kept fucking her on regular basis in every way possible.
I could only understand that you might value her choice to stay with BF instead of staying single throughout her twenties. If that's the case OK fine, but that's nothing special, majority of girls choose to have BFs in their twenties.
Look, facts are facts.
Long-term relationship success rate is heavily determined by the girls previous sexual history. Virgins have pair-bonding instincts intact. Once the seal is broken it's gone.
Most of you wouldn't buy a jar of pickles from Wal-Mart if the lid seal was broken, but you'd wife-up a chick without a hymen. That's a really fucking strong steroid hamster right there.
![[Image: family-guy-buff-hamster-o.gif]](https://s3.amazonaws.com/rapgenius/family-guy-buff-hamster-o.gif)
Long-term relationship success rate is heavily determined by the girls previous sexual history. Virgins have pair-bonding instincts intact. Once the seal is broken it's gone.
Most of you wouldn't buy a jar of pickles from Wal-Mart if the lid seal was broken, but you'd wife-up a chick without a hymen. That's a really fucking strong steroid hamster right there.
Quote: (12-03-2016 06:12 PM)John_Galt Wrote:
...Once the seal is broken it's gone.
Most of you wouldn't buy a jar of pickles from Wal-Mart if the lid seal was broken, but you'd wife-up a chick without a hymen. That's a really fucking strong steroid hamster right there.
I couldn't have put it any better.
When a girl has sex for the first time, her body physically changes in a way that is very similar to a seal being broken. It cannot be undone. Doctors can tell if a girl is a virgin or not just by examining her.
There is something physically different (literally broken) about women who aren't virgins. Anyone claiming that a man who wants a virgin bride is "insecure" or "worried about the past" is sorely mistaken.
Quote: (12-03-2016 07:58 PM)Rob Banks Wrote:Uh, no they can't, actually. They can only tell whether her hymen is intact or not, and a girl can lose her hymen for reasons other than sex.
Quote: (12-03-2016 06:12 PM)John_Galt Wrote:
...Once the seal is broken it's gone.
Most of you wouldn't buy a jar of pickles from Wal-Mart if the lid seal was broken, but you'd wife-up a chick without a hymen. That's a really fucking strong steroid hamster right there.
I couldn't have put it any better.
When a girl has sex for the first time, her body physically changes in a way that is very similar to a seal being broken. It cannot be undone. Doctors can tell if a girl is a virgin or not just by examining her.
There is something physically different (literally broken) about women who aren't virgins. Anyone claiming that a man who wants a virgin bride is "insecure" or "worried about the past" is sorely mistaken.
lol @TJ.
Sure she CAN, but it typically is a result of VERY stressful activity or she's shoving shit up her vagina.
I've yet to meet a girl who claims her hymen was busted from something other than a penis.
Sure, it happens, but I wouldn't take a girl at her word. If she fucked up and busted her hymen without a cock, that's her fault.
Taking a girl at her word, especially on something like that, is a fools gamble.
Sure she CAN, but it typically is a result of VERY stressful activity or she's shoving shit up her vagina.
I've yet to meet a girl who claims her hymen was busted from something other than a penis.
Sure, it happens, but I wouldn't take a girl at her word. If she fucked up and busted her hymen without a cock, that's her fault.
Taking a girl at her word, especially on something like that, is a fools gamble.
Quote: (12-03-2016 08:16 PM)John_Galt Wrote:Oh for sure. I was just pointing out to Rob Banks that even if a girl's hymen is broken, a doctor wouldn't be able to know with 100% certainty if she's a virgin or not, because they can easily lie.
lol @TJ.
Sure she CAN, but it typically is a result of VERY stressful activity or she's shoving shit up her vagina.
I've yet to meet a girl who claims her hymen was busted from something other than a penis.
Sure, it happens, but I wouldn't take a girl at her word. If she fucked up and busted her hymen without a cock, that's her fault.
Taking a girl at her word, especially on something like that, is a fools gamble.
It is technically possible for the girl to lose her hymen to another activity than sex. However, this is very rare. Some decades ago, "horseback riding" was used as an excuse for upper-class girls who indulged in pre-marital sex in order to protect their reputations. It is possible, but there's a 1% chance that it's actually what happened. There is no 100% accurate test to find out if she's a virgin, as some girls are born without an hymen, but it is possible to get a 95% accuracy rate by combining examination and feeling at the first intercourse. Check for blood. Check if she seems to have experience.
It's hard to explain, but at the first intercourse, when the seal is broken, the body undergoes some slight changes, and the girl bonds to this man. She is "his" now, and the girl that he should marry. Once he leaves her, she can get someone new, but she'll always be bonded to this man, regardless of whether he was an asshole or a good man.
Girls can lie, but if she's from a complete family, finished university, and never traveled abroad, the chances of her being trustworthy are higher. The "jar of pickles" analogy is perhaps exaggerated, but it still gives a good idea of the situation. I'd always have the feeling that "something is missing" in the relationship.
It's time to hold women accountable for their actions. You decide to ride the cock carousel or indulge in sex with someone else than your (future) husband, you face the consequences: no marriage for you. Once enough girls see those "poor" non-virgins getting rejected for marriage, they'll start realizing that the hymen of a girl is there for a reason. Like everything in life, some actions have consequences, sometimes irreversible, and girls can't get a free pass just because they have a vagina.
It's hard to explain, but at the first intercourse, when the seal is broken, the body undergoes some slight changes, and the girl bonds to this man. She is "his" now, and the girl that he should marry. Once he leaves her, she can get someone new, but she'll always be bonded to this man, regardless of whether he was an asshole or a good man.
Girls can lie, but if she's from a complete family, finished university, and never traveled abroad, the chances of her being trustworthy are higher. The "jar of pickles" analogy is perhaps exaggerated, but it still gives a good idea of the situation. I'd always have the feeling that "something is missing" in the relationship.
It's time to hold women accountable for their actions. You decide to ride the cock carousel or indulge in sex with someone else than your (future) husband, you face the consequences: no marriage for you. Once enough girls see those "poor" non-virgins getting rejected for marriage, they'll start realizing that the hymen of a girl is there for a reason. Like everything in life, some actions have consequences, sometimes irreversible, and girls can't get a free pass just because they have a vagina.
^ All good and well in a society where women were not fucking until they were 18+, particularly because they weren't out of home until they were married since getting a career was a laughable idea.
Try imprinting the idea of lifelong consequence on someone before they're 16, which is about the time they start fucking now. The only saving grace is that their first bang is generally with another inexperienced loser and it's so God-awful that the genetic bond never really takes hold.
p.s. I've heard tell that muslim brides fake the hymen with a water balloon filled with cow's blood, but I don't have a source on that.
Try imprinting the idea of lifelong consequence on someone before they're 16, which is about the time they start fucking now. The only saving grace is that their first bang is generally with another inexperienced loser and it's so God-awful that the genetic bond never really takes hold.
p.s. I've heard tell that muslim brides fake the hymen with a water balloon filled with cow's blood, but I don't have a source on that.
The public will judge a man by what he lifts, but those close to him will judge him by what he carries.
Quote: (12-03-2016 08:03 PM)T.J. Wrote:
Uh, no they can't, actually. They can only tell whether her hymen is intact or not, and a girl can lose her hymen for reasons other than sex.
I'm pretty sure doctors can tell a lot about a girl's sexual history by examining her. When a girl has sex (or sticks anything up her vagina) there are physical changes that happen apart from the hymen breaking. I know, for example, that when coroners examine a dead female body, they can tell if there was "recent sexual activity." They can also tell if a girl was raped (i.e. if she had forced intercourse).
I could be wrong, but I would think that even if a girl has had time to heal, there would still be scar tissue, and a doctor would still be able to tell if she had sex before.
This is not true for men, by the way. Men's bodies don't change after they have sex. A doctor could not tell anything about a man's sexual history by examining his penis. This is yet another reason why female promiscuity is worse than male promiscuity.
Quote: (12-03-2016 07:58 PM)Rob Banks Wrote:
Quote: (12-03-2016 06:12 PM)John_Galt Wrote:
...Once the seal is broken it's gone.
Most of you wouldn't buy a jar of pickles from Wal-Mart if the lid seal was broken, but you'd wife-up a chick without a hymen. That's a really fucking strong steroid hamster right there.
I couldn't have put it any better.
When a girl has sex for the first time, her body physically changes in a way that is very similar to a seal being broken. It cannot be undone. Doctors can tell if a girl is a virgin or not just by examining her.
There is something physically different (literally broken) about women who aren't virgins. Anyone claiming that a man who wants a virgin bride is "insecure" or "worried about the past" is sorely mistaken.
But once again, it's about your options. I'm sure once marriage is on the table we all want a solid 10 18y/o virgin from our own culture with clean family history for mental health, heart disease and any other genetic disorders, raised to serve the master of the house.
Goooooooood luck.
The question is always, what are your options and how long are you going to hold out looking for "the one" before your net LTR score pulling power begins to drop off. What are you going to prioritise, and at the expense of what else?
The public will judge a man by what he lifts, but those close to him will judge him by what he carries.
↑ You're right. As a man, you need to be realistic. I am lucky because I have family overseas and I managed to find a girl there. If you're limited to American girls, it might not be realistic to expect a young virgin girl from a traditional family.
The thing is, though, that throughout the vast majority of civilized Western history, men could expect to find virginal women with traditional values, and women who had premarital sex would be considered unmarriageable. If I had to settle for an American girl who "only" had 3 or 4 partners before me, it would be hard for me to get over the fact that my grandfather, my great-grandfather, and the majority of my male ancestors would not have settled for a second-hand woman.
The thing is, though, that throughout the vast majority of civilized Western history, men could expect to find virginal women with traditional values, and women who had premarital sex would be considered unmarriageable. If I had to settle for an American girl who "only" had 3 or 4 partners before me, it would be hard for me to get over the fact that my grandfather, my great-grandfather, and the majority of my male ancestors would not have settled for a second-hand woman.
Quote: (12-03-2016 11:41 PM)Rob Banks Wrote:That's because most of the time there's still residual sperm or lubrication, or both. What girl goes to her gynecologist immediately after having sex? You can't compare those two cases because they're vastly different.
I know, for example, that when coroners examine a dead female body, they can tell if there was "recent sexual activity." They can also tell if a girl was raped (i.e. if she had forced intercourse).
Quote:Quote:Nope.
I could be wrong, but I would think that even if a girl has had time to heal, there would still be scar tissue, and a doctor would still be able to tell if she had sex before.
I can't believe I'm actually researching this.
Quote:Quote:https://www.askthedoctor.com/can-doctors...-not-60698
Q: Hi, my name is Ivette and I have a question....is there any way to know if a woman is a virgin by going to the doctor and making tests. My mom is taking me to the doctor to check if i'm a virgin or not.
A: Virginity testing is a very controversial practice, because of its implications and inaccuracy. Virginity tests is based on the identification or presence of an intact hymen and the laxity of vaginal muscles. The hymen is a thin membrane that covers the opening of a girl’s vagina. However, the usefulness and validity of these criteria has been widely questioned because the membrane may break due to other causes too and vaginal laxity is entirely based on subjective observation. Masturbation, intensive exercise or physical activities like horse-riding can all cause the hymen to rupture. Thus a girl who has a broken hymen may be labeled sexually experienced when in fact she may never have had been touched by a man.
« Next Oldest | Next Newest »
Users browsing this thread: 1 Guest(s)