[GoldHawkStar]

These are thoughts I've been having since the school year started a couple months ago. Feel free to roast me, I need some outside opinions.

I turned 21 the week of finals last semester. Summer break was uneventful living back at home. Now I'm finally back on campus for my last year. Legally able to hit up the clubs and bars, I've been enjoying going out with my friends every weekend, meeting new people, running game on women, etc. Sure, it's great and I have a blast.

I've been talking to different attractive women, matching on Tinder, meeting at bars, who want sex. For example, literally this whole weekend this girl has been wanting to meet up at the end of both drunken nights and dropping obvious hints at what she wants to do.

But if I'm being honest with myself, I'm just not into women who have been pumped and dumped numerous times. It's unattractive. I don't wanna be Dick #27 for some basic bitch named Carly all for one night, only to have to go through the same moves another night with somebody else. So I don't go through with it, I make excuses, I push away. Nothing to do with nerves even, I just don't want to.

Being in college, 21, time of my life, young wild and free and all that, I legitimately desire a steady girl. As goofy as that is. Which is hard to find in the going-out scene on campus. And at the end of the night, especially Sunday mornings such as this one, I'm reminded that I don't have one. Loneliness kicks in.

I spent September with a girl and October single. It's odd because I enjoyed September far more than October. You'd think I'd enjoy being single more; the cuffs removed, nothing holding me back, but the romantic loneliness and lack of intimacy makes me bitter and frustrated. This is something I never thought I'd worry about until my 30's maybe, but these feelings have been hitting me like a freight train this whole month.

Winter is coming too. Last Winter was the loneliest I've ever been in my life. But, I didn't have as many opportunities to go out. Of course now that I'm 21 and have more going-out friends and all that, I'll still be out.

But from Halloween to Spring Break, which is half the school year, man I tell you what. Regardless if I do or don't go out. Those -20 degree nights are when the loneliness hits hard. When I'd rather stay in, in a warm room and watch a bullshit movie with a girl whom I share an emotional connection with and have sex when the movie gets dull. Fuck I miss that. I'd think about that while I wait in line freezing my ass off to get into a club or party just to play the game once again on throwaway women. I never believed in Winter depression until last year, and I don't want to go back to the same routine again.

Again, these are just thoughts I've been having that I needed to dump somewhere. Critique me as necessary, but I'd never be anything but honest about how I feel. I'm still new to game. Maybe I just need to go out more and take a couple for the team to get over this.

[debeguiled]

Nothing wrong with being a serial monogamist.

I think the emphasis on not tying yourself down when you are young is to keep you from getting oneitis or trapped into the wrong marriage before you have experience. Something about seeing the same personality traits and habits popping up in girl after girl protects you against thinking you have found your soul mate when what you have found is the first girl you like.

If you can have girlfriends without putting them on a pedestal, you are probably fine.

On the other hand, loneliness is a part of life, and if you are rushing into relationships so you don't have to deal with it, you might be vulnerable to a girl who knows how to push your buttons.

You always have to be willing to walk away, and if you are dependent on having a girl to fill the emptiness of winter, you might be setting yourself up for a fall.

If these feelings mainly hit during winter, it might be Seasonal Affective Disorder, and all you need is some light therapy and some vitamin d.

Your life will never have such an abundance of good looking young women who are open to new experiences and are all conveniently in your social circle by virtue of going to the same school as you do.

A lot of guys don't realize this, and look back on their college years wishing they had taken advantage of more opportunities at the time.

That is the cost of tying yourself down early.

[DonnyGately]

Serial monogamy worked for me in college and grad school.

[Rico Ramon]

If you know what you want and find that in a woman go for it and be true to her, there are alot of women with various issues ( as well as men) and the older they get, the worse the issues get with most women.

Why do you think so many older women go after younger women, less emotional issues to deal with usually, if they didn't have a fucked up childhood.

[TornadoByProxy]

You've got the right feeling, just a year too soon. It will be hard to find a girl who wants to settle down with a guy, who you can then dump in a few months when you graduate. You either need to convert a whore or break some girl's heart. I guess if you find the right girl, go for it. But you are not going to have such easy access to so many young horny girls again.

Things are different in the real world. I'd look to address my loneliness in a different way.

Winter depression is very real. I'd suggest a sunlamp to get through it.

[John_Galt]

Not only do I not think it's wrong to want monogamy----I think it's NORMAL and HEALTHY.

Most of the membership of this forum, including it's founder, our dear Roosh, started out desiring just that----a healthy, normal monogamous relationship with one pretty girl who liked us and we liked her. But, do to the poisonous culture, as well as feminism, and of course, our own beta behavior and tendencies----we were unable to have that, or at least keep it around.

So we turned to game. We sleep with a lot of different women. We learn how shit works between the sexes. Maybe we revisit monogamy later, perhaps we swear it off altogether and vow to be players for all our lives.

A lot of the guys here have been hurt a lot in the past from a woman they put a lot of trust and commitment into. Some of these guys are divorced, lost everything to their ex-wives. When men go through these circumstances, they're likely to be upset, and their advice is going to reflect their turmoil. They might say never to be monogamous, or that you should at least sleep with a lot of women before committing to one.

I agree with them. I think the experience is important, and it will help you get back on your feet later if you do get screwed over in a relationship.

But there's nothing wrong with DESIRING a normal, healthy pair-bond with a woman. That's a GOOD thing! I would just be careful about investing in the WRONG woman.

If you need me to clarify anything, let me know.

[brick tamland]

@GHS, despite what you want, keep your expectations real. Most girls in college or around your age aren't really looking for serious relationships. They'd rather be serial daters.
Some day you will have to put yourself out there, sort of like a player, even though you may dislike the label. It's inevitable because the sexual marketplace is real. So if possible, do not avoid the work that game requires, even if a monogamous relationship may look easier. There is such a thing as involuntary monogamy.

[Drix]

Yes/No.

In colleague, Some people will tell you, Bang as much as you can, others will prefer a serious relationship with a sweet,cute girl of your class. They both will tell you different answers.

At the end, It doesn`t matter. That`s why a better question may be what do you want?

[WestIndianArchie]

Yes

WIA

[kaotic]

(10-31-2016 02:11 PM)WestIndianArchie Wrote:  

Yes

WIA

Cosign with WIA

I can't wait to hear him break this down.

(10-30-2016 04:03 PM)GoldHawkStar Wrote:  

-snip-

I've been talking to different attractive women, matching on Tinder, meeting at bars, who want sex. For example, literally this whole weekend this girl has been wanting to meet up at the end of both drunken nights and dropping obvious hints at what she wants to do.

But if I'm being honest with myself, I'm just not into women who have been pumped and dumped numerous times. It's unattractive. I don't wanna be Dick #27 for some basic bitch named Carly all for one night, only to have to go through the same moves another night with somebody else. So I don't go through with it, I make excuses, I push away. Nothing to do with nerves even, I just don't want to.

It's obvious your problem isn't quantity, it's quality now. You even admit college girls who are getting pumped and dumped aren't your style, you don't want to be that next dick.

(I'd gladly be and send them on their way).

There's nothing wrong with having fun and just going with the flow of hoes.

You just have to remember this saying, "It's never your pussy, it's just your turn" - the only exclusion from that is a virgin girl whose only sucked off 20 dudes and got finger blasted a bunch (I kid).

You desire quality ? Respectable, but are you willing to work for it and ATTRACT and GAME these types of women ?

Have you attempted to look for these girls ?
Do they exist on your college campus ?
Have you dumped dating apps and approached women on campus or bars?

Quote:

Being in college, 21, time of my life, young wild and free and all that, I legitimately desire a steady girl. As goofy as that is. Which is hard to find in the going-out scene on campus. And at the end of the night, especially Sunday mornings such as this one, I'm reminded that I don't have one. Loneliness kicks in.

I spent September with a girl and October single. It's odd because I enjoyed September far more than October. You'd think I'd enjoy being single more; the cuffs removed, nothing holding me back, but the romantic loneliness and lack of intimacy makes me bitter and frustrated. This is something I never thought I'd worry about until my 30's maybe, but these feelings have been hitting me like a freight train this whole month.

Winter is coming too. Last Winter was the loneliest I've ever been in my life. But, I didn't have as many opportunities to go out. Of course now that I'm 21 and have more going-out friends and all that, I'll still be out.

You're in what's called "cuffing season"

Bitches want to lock down that holiday boyfriend and "lonely" people in general yearn for a significant other during this time of year.

You're never lonely, you just choose to be.

Either that or you aren't actively gaming/screening quality girls.

Fuck being lonely, you're FREE. Free to do what you want !

To me this sounds like you're pining for an old girl, that reflects in how you talk about this September girl of yours.

Personally I think you're over analyzing things that happened in a 1 MONTH span.

When was the last time you had sex ? I'm assuming with September girl ? Sounds like you had some pretty strong emotions with her.

I'm around 30 and still enjoying being single, seeing girls here and there, having mini LTR's, plenty of ons and flings.

I've learned to just love women and have fun with them BUT I'm completely confident in myself if I hit a dry streak or haven't been with a girl in awhile.

While I've never been subjected to extreme weather where I'm basically hibernating for the winter - this shouldn't stop you from being at peace with your self.

You have to remember - a female NEVER completes you - she only complements you (your life).

Quote:

But from Halloween to Spring Break, which is half the school year, man I tell you what. Regardless if I do or don't go out. Those -20 degree nights are when the loneliness hits hard. When I'd rather stay in, in a warm room and watch a bullshit movie with a girl whom I share an emotional connection with and have sex when the movie gets dull. Fuck I miss that. I'd think about that while I wait in line freezing my ass off to get into a club or party just to play the game once again on throwaway women. I never believed in Winter depression until last year, and I don't want to go back to the same routine again.

Again, these are just thoughts I've been having that I needed to dump somewhere. Critique me as necessary, but I'd never be anything but honest about how I feel. I'm still new to game. Maybe I just need to go out more and take a couple for the team to get over this.

You listed you miss that emotional connection with a girl, I can understand that, but most college girls live that "young wild and free" life that you mention. Where college is a time for experimentation.

I don't think you miss that, I think you that ONE girl from September, I could be wrong, but like I said, you may not miss that girl but your sure miss those experiences, I get that.

If you don't want to go back to that same routine - what are you doing to change that ? Are you willing to change that and break that cycle every winter ?

Getting some strange puss can change your mine in an instant, hell just approaching and gaming girls can give you a nice confidence boost.

It's better to be honest with your self, identify the issues, and then work on fixing those and bettering yourself.

[John_Galt]

^

Let's be fair here:

College is NOT the whole world, even if you live on a college campus.

Even in so called "college towns" there are girls who work and live there that don't go to college.

If OP wants a more quality girl, he can find one. (Unless he lives in Vegas )

I agree, he SHOULD definitely enjoy the fruits of the game, plucking beautiful 18 year olds fresh out of their hometown, but if he wants a relationship, that's OK too.

Just as long as he is aware of womens true nature, and the strong likelihood she's going to leave him high and dry at some point.

[Rhyme or Reason]

Young guys are so sentimental. They're still deprogramming themselves from being essentially bluepill. The "need" to have a girlfriend is one such symptom.

If you think about it, it makes no sense whatsoever.

Kaotic gets to the heart of the matter here:

Quote:

You have to remember - a female NEVER completes you - she only complements you (your life).

And here:

Quote:

It's better to be honest with your self, identify the issues, and then work on fixing those and bettering yourself.

The September girl was likely not as special as you remember. It wasn't the girl, but how she made you feel about yourself. If you're still looking for externalities to make you content (not happy) you will be left chasing a butterfly.

Take a serious audit of yourself and don't hold back.

If you're honest with yourself you will be shocked at what you find. It took my quite a long time before I was able to do this objectively, and it's a constant battle to maintain that objectivity.

I realize I'm speaking in vague terms. However the most valuable lesson I learned in my twenties was do not chase happiness. What made you happy last year / last month will not likely bring that same level of satisfaction today.

Roosh has an old video about this which I found eye opening. It's on his channel.

It's ephemeral. Even if you landed your dream girl right now, after a brief time period you would find yourself back at square one in terms of what you want out of life.

Instead of wishing for a connection, figure out why you feel you need that connection and go from there.

[wi30]

It's obvious that you're feeling lonely. That happens.

In college, I lived in a city that was cold as fuck. After Halloween, women disappeared until spring time. If you didn't land something steady in the fall, you were stuck with fatties on tinder.

My last two years of college, I had a steady girlfriend. The relationship went great for a really long period of time. I learned more in those 2.5 years about women and game than I did my entire career as a single dude. You learn a lot about women by living with them.

You're not feeling young or naive, you're feeling human.

I'll go against the grain and say yes, you should get into a relationship with the right girl. It could turn out great. But the faster you get your heart broken, the faster you will realize that your feelings of loneliness aren't grounded in reality.

I love being single now. There might be a girl who if she heard me say that, would be upset though.

I'm kind of a serial monogamist. I juggle girls until I find one who is cool to hang out with and is good at sex. Like I said in another thread the other day, I'm not about racking up numbers. I want to have the hottest possible girl on my dick with the least amount of effort and bullshit. I'll continue to bang the girls with shitty personalities until a cool one comes along. Then I'll ride out the relationship and rinse/repeat.

I think you need some experience in dating women. You've learned how to bang them, now you need to learn how to keep them. Two different ballgames.

And like Kaotic said, You are always leasing it.

[WestIndianArchie]

" You learn a lot about women by living with them."

Agree on this part.

WIA

[MongolianAbroad]

Totally normal, man.

You hit the nail on the head regarding being a player. The quality will generally be lower if you go that route than otherwise, there simply aren't enough decent, mentally stable women to keep going through a different one (or more) every week, so if you go that route, you have to accept that while some of the girls you interact with will be perfectly healthy, many will bring a lot of negativity and chaos into your life that may not be worth it in the end.

Not only that, for that lower quality girl, you're generally investing much more time and money for sex.

In business, you want repeat customers, because the cost of acquiring new customers can be very high.

This is a very similar scenario (but different, because some guys actually value the variety so highly that it's a net gain on their books).

So it can be fun if you highly value variety and instability/chaos on the romantic front, but if you prefer stability, then a relationship with a good looking girl who's a decent human being is the way to go.

You'll also usually have more sex that way, and with a person that treats you better, potentially.

It's totally normal, man, don't believe the hype, being a player definitely has its plusses, but those plusses are only real if your drives correlate with that way of life.

If they don't, then living that way is incongruent, and incongruency causes internal friction and frustration.

Fulfill your drives, let others fulfill theirs. There's no shame in that.

[Captain Gh]

Man at least your honest with yourself my man! Somedays, I wish I felt that way... but I chose the playa lifestyle with everything that comes with it... be it good or bad. Keep on feeling how you feel, since it is your gut instinct. The only cause for concern I have for you, especially due to the tone of your post, is that you get into a relationship because you feel you have to, instead of choosing to be in one.

There's a 180 difference between the 2 my friend! You've been around here long enough that I'm sure you know your way. Now, you simply have to focus on your frame and masculine demeanor, from leadership to self control. If you want to be in a serious relationship with some quality, then you'll need control to not chase poon when you feel like it. These absolutely nothing wrong in wanting to be that stable guy. Even with Game, some guys like me simply cannot get down for long with these super feminine happy girls since they eventually wake up and bounce away from a playa ! These girls fall for guys like YOU, who are masculine & strong. Be that Guy!

[Prof. Ligate]

You won't be able to know a 'serious girlfriend' from a 'basic bitch' unless you play the field. There isn't a better time or place to test the waters than in your college years

If you don't... you will regret not making the most of the young pussy in college when you're older

Don't be the chump that falls into a shit relationship just because he is looking for a girlfriend/ lazy (especially in college)

[John_Galt]

Also: Join a frat or at least make sure you get invited to frat parties regularly. You will NEVER get easier pussy than drunk girls at frat parties in college.

[Gustavus Adolphus]

The access, and supply to, opening 18-20yo girls will never be higher than it is right now. Think about that before you put stock in one "serious girlfriend" for any length of time.

Mentioned earlier, Cuffing Season is a reality to deal with. You can have a regular girl you see once a week and defeat the onset of loneliness, but the only way to know what you got is to have a large enough sample size to see and understand the variables of whether to stay or cut loose.

At 19, I got involved with an 18yo catholic virgin. Spent several years with her bouncing down the path I thought was the way. Even lived with her for a while. I ended up breaking it off, kicking her to the curb and was pissed I only went off the reservation a couple times with other girls. Hindsight is 20/20.

Only you can make the call, it's your life. But my advice is to go talk to every girl you see that you want to fuck. Get the experience of the true nature of a woman. Keep seeing the girls that add value to your life, and cut the rest from the rotation. But keep adding to, and exploring, what you want out of the women you spend time with. This is the only way. This is what it takes to become a man, with respect to internalizing what it would mean to say you'd settle down. You can't settle down if you've always been settled, you know? You need to know what is to not be "wanting".

I've never looked back and said, 'damn, I wish I hadn't fucked that girl.' But the opposite is definitely true.

Can't turn the clock back once the hands go 'round. Tomorrow is on the horizon- plenty of time to be a 30-year-old when that day is actually upon you. Now is the time to discover, to learn, and to play.

[RatInTheWoods]

Nothing wrong with wanting to LTR instead of pump and dump.

The sex, companionship and shared experience is much higher quality than casual sex with the usual slutty "box of assorted creams" that are still oozing their last load of man juice when they expect you top go down on them.

As others have said, an important condition is that you still maintain alpha frame and ensure that you don't be getting into a beta whiny LTR situation.
If you can avoid oneitis and get the great things out of a quality LTR and noe of the bad things, than I think you are better off than a pump and dumper lifestyle enthusiast.

You can also avoid damaging your soul for when it comes time to marry and have kids, if thats what you want to do.

[XXL]

Do what you want to do and stop asking random guys on internet for permission.

[CJ]

I was in 2 LTRs in college, definitely a mistake. I often think of all the tail I missed out on. Fortunately, I live close enough to a prominent college campus now and have made up for lost time. Still not the same though.

[philosophical_recovery]

I was in a few in college. It kept me sexed. It also helped me focus on finishing my STEM degree in 4 years with a high GPA.

But:

• I was cheated on by at least one of them and risked pregnancy with that same one. Almost cucked? Possibly!
• I didn't develop much game
• I missed out on a lot of social development and connection making
• I could've hustled for money instead and built a big nest egg Wallstreet Playboys style
• I wasn't motivated to do much physical development
  

If I were to do it again I would do more networking, get some kind of sales side project going, and bang a lot more college sloots unless I found a real woman. But, I didn't have enough experience with women to recognize a good keeper, so there's that.

My life trajectory probably would've been completely different and more entrepreneur-minded instead of highly paid wageslave minded.

I'd focus on bigger picture things over hunting for a serious girlfriend. If it happens, it happens, but don't go looking like I did. You'll convince yourself you found something.

And when you're 30, you can still grab a college girl for a relationship, and the age/power dynamic will be much more in your favor.

[GoldHawkStar]

All,

I appreciate everyone's comments and continue to read all of them. You all are great.

I'll answer a few of Kaotic's questions with the utmost honesty for those who are curious.

(10-31-2016 03:19 PM)kaotic Wrote:  

You desire quality ? Respectable, but are you willing to work for it and ATTRACT and GAME these types of women ?

That's my big struggle. There are more women on this campus than men. And a lot of the quality women don't go out to bars and parties on the weekends, which is where I do most of my socializing with the opposite sex - They stay in.

This means that my best bet would be day game, and that is something I need to work on. Just approach at all. In every case it seems out of the ordinary, almost like I'm putting a sign over me that says "Thirsty".

But I'm not gonna whine about it - Yeah I need to start working on that, especially while I'm still in college.

(10-31-2016 03:19 PM)kaotic Wrote:  

Do they exist on your college campus ?

Definitely. It's just a matter of where to look.

(10-31-2016 03:19 PM)kaotic Wrote:  

Have you dumped dating apps and approached women on campus or bars?

Made a Tinder a couple weeks ago. Man do I hate Tinder. All fat bitches. A few attractive dirty hoes.

(10-31-2016 03:19 PM)kaotic Wrote:  

You're in what's called "cuffing season"

Bitches want to lock down that holiday boyfriend and "lonely" people in general yearn for a significant other during this time of year.

And that's what scares me. Which is the main reason I made this thread.

(10-31-2016 03:19 PM)kaotic Wrote:  

To me this sounds like you're pining for an old girl, that reflects in how you talk about this September girl of yours.

Personally I think you're over analyzing things that happened in a 1 MONTH span.

When was the last time you had sex ? I'm assuming with September girl ? Sounds like you had some pretty strong emotions with her.

Yep, you're right on the money. I'm still feeling for September girl.

September girl and why she broke up with me is a long story that I could tell if you think it's worth it. I've only talked about it to redbeard and he says that her reasoning was bullshit and overboard. A few of my friends also agree. I do too.

She was a classy girl. 22, attractive, rich, had only been in two relationships (they were last school year). First guy got to second base, second guy got to first. She was even more into me than I was her - And we had a good connection too. She wanted to lose her virginity to me eventually.

I think her virginity was something that made me even more attracted to her. Not even in a thirsty/physical way, but more because for once you actually have this big emotional connection with somebody that comes from her trusting you enough to be her first sexual experience (beyond what she had done, which was little). Like you said, for most women, it's not your pussy, it's just your turn. For her, it was different. Hard to explain.

And yes I am over analyzing everything that happened in September.

Again, long story. But yeah, I don't think I mentioned that in my first post. Still have feelings for her when she's now convinced that I'm a bad guy (I'm not) over almost nothing which I have made beyond-substantial efforts to recover from. And because of her two bad experiences with boyfriends, her paranoia/trust issues made her switch from googly-eyed head-over-heels to removing me from her life all in the course of about 48 hours. So really I should (and am trying to) move on.

(10-31-2016 03:19 PM)kaotic Wrote:  

You have to remember - a female NEVER completes you - she only complements you (your life).

Good advice. I'll have to remember that.

(10-31-2016 03:19 PM)kaotic Wrote:  

I don't think you miss that, I think you miss that ONE girl from September, I could be wrong, but like I said, you may not miss that girl but your sure miss those experiences, I get that.

That probably hits the nail on the head. If I'm being honest with myself, fuck it was only one month. If I found another girl that was classy and I connected with, that would do it too. I just miss the experiences.

(10-31-2016 03:19 PM)kaotic Wrote:  

Getting some strange puss can change your mine in an instant, hell just approaching and gaming girls can give you a nice confidence boost.

It's better to be honest with your self, identify the issues, and then work on fixing those and bettering yourself.

And honestly, maybe what I do need is just to go out and game more. Maybe this was God's/nature's/fate's way of telling me to not give my senior year to just one woman.

Hell, even my night game could be brought up more notches. I don't approach near enough than I should. Maybe some of these women are out and I'm just not talking to them.

---

Keep throwing down comments and questions if you want. Like I said, I really do appreciate everyone's input.

[Conquerer7]

At the end of the day a stable relationship with the RIGHT girl is always best.

If you want to be a player for the experience and game reasons then go ahead.

However if it's for the notch count then you'd be aswell going to Thailand for 3 months to get it out the way if it's going to be a relationship barrier mental.