[cosworth]

Well you live and learn , you'll never make that mistake again ;-)
I've been dating this russian chick who moved to the UK when she was 13. Shes knows the deal , but hasn't put her hand in her pocket once . I cover everything. Its just the Russian way.
Shes' incredibly hot , definitely one of the best looking girls I've ever dated.

[Nineteen84]

I'm happy to pay for drinks but recently had a girl pull the "I'm hungry" move to try to get me to buy her a meal during a date. I was not impressed at all as we'd already agreed it was just first date drinks. I let her order a meal for just herself then ate half of it. She paid.

(10-15-2016 12:54 PM)Lagavulin Wrote:  

Some of you guys are missing the point. It wasn't about the drink, or the cost of the drink, I can afford to treat a girl to a nice night out if I like her and I want to do something for her. It was about the principle of her flat out refusing to buy a drink.

Yeah I have to agree with this. It's the manner in which she does it. Can be a real turn off if she's being demanding and disrespectful. Sometimes I'd rather just go find another girl with a bit more class. There's always problems down the line with chicks like that.

But obviously context is everything when dealing with this sort of thing...

[Philosopher]

(10-14-2016 07:36 PM)Lagavulin Wrote:  

We grab a table and now we're finishing our drinks. We talk about what to do next, she wants to have one more in here. At this point what do you do?

It's around 11:45pm and the bar is open till 1am. Do you buy her another drink or two and take her home, or do you let her know it's her turn to get to the bar?

I take option 2. She blows up at me as if I'm a cheapskate, maybe she felt shamed, I don't know. However I stand my ground, she grabs her bag and storms off and I let her walk. Fuck it.

Buying her another drink would have meant swallowing my pride which I wasn't prepared to do so I'm actually not too unhappy, however I missed out on a quality notch for the sake of a couple of drinks.

Throughout the night the only real deviation I made from my normal behavior is that when the serving girl brought the second round of drinks I would normally have indicated that it was her round.

I'd like to know how you guys would have handled it, both when the bill was presented for the second drink and when it was time to get a fourth drink?

Option 1 - Eastern European girls have the mindset that if she is sleeping with a man, it is a transaction so he must pay for her. Yes, it sucks but certainly better than her paying and you not getting laid. Being asked for money really turns them off. In Russia, I often had situations like this when I would not be sure if I would have enough money to last the night.

[Unchained]

Sigh.... some of you fucking guys cling to this "don't buy her drinks" mantra like it was written in the fucking Bible.

Early PUAs told this to beta guys because beta guys thought they could buy their way into girls pussies and impress them. Beta guys think they can OPEN women with buying them drinks and it almost always fails.

But when you're already with a chick who digs you there's nothing wrong with buying her drinks. I mean holy fuck you're a man why do you want her to buy the drinks if she's already shown interest?? This isn't a chick you JUST met at the bar this is a chick you're on a date with.

Stop being so damn dogmatic and strict and use your brains. Girl agrees to spend the night and you're worrying about her paying for a damn beer....

[WestIndianArchie]

(10-17-2016 12:21 AM)Nineteen84 Wrote:  

I'm happy to pay for drinks but recently had a girl pull the "I'm hungry" move to try to get me to buy her a meal during a date.

What a player would have done is tout his cooking skills and said you had that back at the crib, plus all that stuff out here is rubbish.

WIA

[Nineteen84]

(10-23-2016 06:18 PM)WestIndianArchie Wrote:  

(10-17-2016 12:21 AM)Nineteen84 Wrote:  

I'm happy to pay for drinks but recently had a girl pull the "I'm hungry" move to try to get me to buy her a meal during a date.

What a player would have done is tout his cooking skills and said you had that back at the crib, plus all that stuff out here is rubbish.

WIA

Nice! Sadly it wasn't logistically possible for this one. Will keep that one in the bank though.

[SegaSaturn1994]

I don't have much experience to go by here but I think it's quite simple still. She's from a far more conservative culture and expects to be pampered a certain way. You tried to play the kind of hot/cold indifferent game that's completely unknown in her part of the world or at least does not get anyone anywhere far. On some level I cannot help but empathize with her anyway; you presumably invited her out, you had the idea of taking her to the place where you were fully aware of the financial consequences or at least you did not subtly discourage it and as you indicate yourself, you let your ego get in the way in the end because some small part of you decided to bitterly and pettily see the interaction as a power struggle that you were losing unless you go at it and provoke those negative emotions on her. You most likely also made her feel cheap by association and shifted too much responsibility on her shoulders, doing away with some amount of plausible deniability by having her pay for her own intoxication; had you had been happy to pay for it, she would have had the excuse to bed you because you 'made' her drunk for free. If you take this MRA/equality shit to the extreme you're destined to be a MGTOW incel (the general 'you', I get that you've had your share already). Mentally I was there earlier and it's relatively recently that I've learned to become more chill, take life for what it is rather than what I'd like it to be, have a more relaxed attitude and see things in a positive light no matter the amount of self-deception because ultimately we all live in the same world with the same facts but our internal reality, the way we choose to view those facts and feel about them, is still up to us to some degree at least.

I have aspergers and I'm a bit older than you so it really sort of rubs me bad when I hear of guys with far better past records committing mistakes like this; mistakes I would not even do (as easy it is for me to be saying this from the side).
It's sort of like a slob on a sofa being wise to some stupid blunder made by a NHL player (even professionals have their pitiful moments) in a game so don't be offended.

[Drazki]

Folks, for the future reference:

- Every single time you are out with Bulgarian girl especially the first date you PAY PERIOD.

There is no recovery if you don't pay that's true also if you invited her out on second.
If you hesitate to pay you are immediately labeled untrustworthy Uncle Scrooge not worthing a dime.

On third date she will most likely suggest to split the bill but only if you physically PAY.
It is a cultural tradition man always pay no matter what. The girl after second or 3th date might give you her part of the bill under the table or outside after the venue.
In advanced LTR she sometimes even will pay the whole bill or handle you sum of money before the event.
BUT IN FRONT OF EVERYBODY YOU PAY.

Not complying with the above rule is like shooting your self in the foot. Any chances you'v had are in the absolute zero region with traditional Bulgarian after that.

[DaveR]

(10-14-2016 07:36 PM)Lagavulin Wrote:  

She's Bulgarian

And you're a feminist. You'll have to undo all of that indoctrination if you want to chase traditional women, because the kind of game that works on British slappers doesn't work on traditional girls. Not having a go at you, just telling it the way it is. Drazki explained in more detail... I guess he's Bulgarian given his name.

If you're confused, watch some movies from the '40s or '50s and observe how the men and women interact.

[Satoshi]

There is a whole chapter on this in the art of seduction.