[destiny]

Wow I can't believe I wrote that crap earlier. I guess my head was missing a few screws haha. The emotions are quite strong though and often times I cannot control it, yet!

I'm still feeling the effects of the emotions on my brain right now but I'll be ok. Anyways since I already posted an update, I might as well comment on the next things forward on my agenda.

Dating:

I'm in the process of trying to secure a date with a backup girl and things seem to point to a green light with her. I'll know for sure once I touch down in ho chi minh city in 5 weeks time. Yes, that's right, destiny's going on another adventure and this time it's gonna be longer, wilder, more exciting, and possibly more successful then my previous attempts. Now that I can communicate in vietnamese at least at an elementary level this opens up way more opportunities for both daygame and night game. Now I can actually open chicks in vietnam and I've been learning a lot about vietnamese culture as well so this should make it more easier for me to relate to them. I can't wait to touch down in ho chi min city and test out my new powers

I also renewed my vncupid account. I didn't want to spend that extra money but I was trying to kill off my neediness right when all of that drama happened. Anyways I've learned that vncupid may not be the best option for meeting quality chicks. It seems most chicks have some uterior motive on it. I'm just gonna use it to pineline chicks for short term flings, nothing serious. I'll save the more serious ones for the local girls that I will daygame. I also intend on visiting various other cities and regions in vn such as the north and southern parts like (hanoi, haiphong, can tho, ben tre, dalat, nha trang, da nang, etc.) for my filming. Hopefully I can make some nice girls there as well.

Also in Canada, I'm not sure if I mentioned this in a previous post or not but there was a hong kong chinese girl that worked at one of my previous companies that I worked at. I didn't find her really attractive or anything just somewhat cute (a 6 at best) although her height makes her a good match for me. I think she's around 5'7 and she's chinese. Anyways while I was working there, I didn't pay much attention to her until the last 2-3 weeks before she left the company. I caught her staring at me 1-2 times already and one day when I showed up for work in the afternoon (she works mornings) she called out my name and asked me to help her troubleshoot one of the machines. I never even spoke to her before so oblivious she asked someone about me. I had thought about asking her out at that time but just when I decided to go through with it, she quit so I lost my chance. I talked with my supervisor about getting her number but the prick told me he would ask her first and see if she would say yes. I don't think he even asked at all because when I asked him he would say no unless she told him she wasn't interested and he was trying to spare my feelings. Anyways I run into her by accident a few weeks back at a computer store chain near my house. At first I thought I made a mistake but when I went to pay for my things I saw her name tag and this confirmed it. Also when I was walking past her talking with another sales man, I could feel she was looking at me with my peripherals. I struck up a conversation with her but couldn't really get anywhere because other customers were waiting to pay. I showed up again like 2 weeks later and spoke with her just a little tiny bit longer, trying to see if I could read her. I couldn't get a good read on her. I may give it one more shot if I ever stop by the computer shop. She told me she works there on the weekends when I mentioned how I never saw her here before.


Self-Improvement:

Ever since my last vn trip, I have taken up learning vietnamese. I think I spent about 4-5 months before I finally got myself an online tutor who I have an hour of class a week. I've been studying vietnamese now for about 8 maybe 9 months now and slowly progressing along. It's not an easy language to learn because of the tones but I'm sure I can manage. The positive benefit of it as not only will I be able to use it for picking up chicks but I can also use it for business purposes which will come in handy.

I have also been working on two different passive sources of income. One is nearly complete. A non-fiction book and a youtube channel. I have been studying up quite extensively and also practicing filming. I'm proud to say I no longer film garbage and I'm hoping my future videos will be very professional made like a tv show. I'm still practicing filming myself and talking. I'm practiced vloging twice and both times felt weird as hell. I'm so thankful that I have daygame experience and all of those other crazy experiences from my travels because this makes vlogging seem like not a big deal even though everywhere I go, I literally have people looking at me or asking me about it. I was actually filming myself walking about a week ago and some guy approached me and we talked about my gimbal. I'm actually surprised I was able to start doing it this quickly even though I talk quietly when filming myself. I need to learn to talk more confidently even if it means I'm looking and literally talking to a camera lol.

And of course switching all of those jobs and working with various people have given me some more life experience and hopefully street smarts as well which I believer I am still severely lacking.

I also got over my fear of driving which has been haunting me for decades now and I bought a decent car. I have to say it feels great when you conquer your fears and now I have much more freedom and independence although the car payments suck .

I can't really think of anything else off the top of my head right now because I'm still going through all of those agonizing emotions from earlier today but I'll post it when I remember.


T-minus 5 weeks before the fun begins Hope things go better for me this time around. Last time was too quick. I need more dating experience and success!

[Jetset]

(05-11-2018 08:38 PM)destiny Wrote:  

Wow I can't believe I wrote that crap earlier. I guess my head was missing a few screws haha. The emotions are quite strong though and often times I cannot control it, yet!

If it makes you feel better, I got all messed up over some girl getting engaged to a provider who wore bad sweaters when I was 22, got my head too far up my own ass and wrote some really beta crap I should have kept to myself. I'll never figure out what she had that made me act that way. She was gracious about it but oh, Lord God. Woke up the next morning and realized what I'd done, shame ran deep and if I'd handled it differently I probably could have banged again later.

It happens. Live and learn, but most importantly, move on.

[destiny]

(05-11-2018 09:05 PM)Jetset Wrote:  

(05-11-2018 08:38 PM)destiny Wrote:  

Wow I can't believe I wrote that crap earlier. I guess my head was missing a few screws haha. The emotions are quite strong though and often times I cannot control it, yet!

If it makes you feel better, I got all messed up over some girl getting engaged to a provider who wore bad sweaters when I was 22, got my head too far up my own ass and wrote some really beta crap I should have kept to myself. I'll never figure out what she had that made me act that way. She was gracious about it but oh, Lord God. Woke up the next morning and realized what I'd done, shame ran deep and if I'd handled it differently I probably could have banged again later.

It happens. Live and learn, but most importantly, move on.

Yeah your right. This kind of just dawned on me. This pain that I felt, I should actually embrace it. Despite it being painful in the moment, it's actually quite beneficial in the long term, why?

Because pain makes you stronger. If I look back at all of the big pain I experienced in the last 4-5 years this was when I saw the biggest change within myself. My father also commented that that nowadays I'm a different person, a little improved compared to before. It's the unpleasant feeling of the pain that forces me to take massive action and change what I'm currently doing, and to go things outside of my comfort zone. Because I don't like this uncomfortable feeling of pain that I am forced to better and fix parts of my life that are causing this pain. Kind of ironic.

So I shouldn't run from this pain but embrace and be happy about it, for it will make me even stronger and better then before.

[GoingTheDistance]

Hey man, I haven't posted on your thread as I'm relatively new to the forum. I did read through some of this thread a while back though.

Take my advice with a grain of salt, admittedly I probably can't hold a candle to the likes of the other well repped posters who have already given you advice, some of which are a minority (or asian) like yourself. I'm white, so I can't relate to you there.

First off, I want to say that I think you've done great things in your personal life. Writing a book, starting a YouTube channel, studying Vietnamese seriously and working and saving money is commendable.

Becoming a public figure takes a lot of courage. Most people will never work up the motivation to start side projects like you have. Whether or not your YouTube or books fail or succeed, do not ever get down on yourself if they fail and don't ever get to high on yourself if they succeed. Keep perspective. Always keep perspective.

Again, awesome job on your side ventures, saving money and learning a new language.

There were some things that stood out to me in what you wrote. I'm going to point these out to you, not to get down on you but just to give you an outsiders perspective.

You said this on the last page back in 2017, please pay attention to the words in bold:

Quote:

You guys are right about women. My head isn't very clear right now and I'm very emotional. The last thing I should do right now is open myself up emotionally to another women and become deeply involved with her. I have put that girl on the backburner for now and trying to forget about her. Having said that though, I feel it would still be beneficial for me to date around locally here. I will detach myself mentally from girls and just view them as someone to bang and nothing more. Dating will be seen as more of a hobby and past time then something that needs to be a major priority right now.

The summary of that quote is that you needed to give yourself time to work on yourself before you placed to much importance on women. You decided that you would try to date locally.

I think that was a smart choice.

Then you had this update today:

Quote:

I actually had stalked her wall last night when I was freaking out and wanted to see if she was still lying about having met him 1 month ago. I noticed that the guy was liking practically all of her fb posts and sending her liking hearts and writing comments but she ignored them.

Before I had received the news, I had actually gotten a message from a backup potential plate. I immediately asked if she was going to show me around when I arrived in vn in a few months. I did this because I knew if the news wasn't good I would not be able to handle it. When I got home, I immediately unfollowed her. I'm still debating whether or not to unfriend her.

Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop.

Did I mention, STOP?!

Dude, you have got to stop stalking people on social media. That is not healthy.

This girl is not even your girlfriend. She is certainly not your wife. Nor is she the mother of your children.

This is somebody you have known for less than a year.

You have known this girl for less than one year and you are stalking her social media.

Does this sound like the type of person that you want to be?

Quote:

I feel betrayed, angry, depressed, and sad all at the same time. Who would have thought this would happen to me one month ago. Damn, it stings. This is just like a repeat of that event 2 years ago in latvia with that girl except she never expressed these things with me and even called her my gf or anything.

Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me.

You did not learn from your mistakes. I didn't read back far enough in this thread to see what happened in Latvia. But if you're saying the exact same thing happened, then why didn't you see the red flags with this new girl if you had similar experiences with the Latvian girl?

I know it sucks when things don't work out with a girl. We've all been there.

But again, Perspective. You have got to keep perspective. This is a nicer way of saying what Dalaran already told you on the previous page of this thread:

Quote:

I'm not telling you to do MGTOW or some bullshit, but the idea that your mental well-being depends on female presence is the most pathetic thing that could ever come vomitting out of a man's mouth.

Brother, you have known this Vietnamese girl for less than one year. Falling hard and falling fast for somebody is a human emotion. But you have got to learn to control it and put your emotions in check.

I am not telling you to become bitter with the world. Please don't. There's an endless amount of beauty that's in this world, there really is.

But again, perspective. You have got to keep perspective. This is a nicer way of saying what Dalaran already told you on the previous page of this thread:

Quote:

You need to fucking toss away the idea that you need a girl or be near a girl to restore balance to your life, as if you cant live without some female essence or some shit.

Destiny, I will put it another way to you.

I want you to think about what you have to do in life.

You need to find shelter, have food and clean drinking water. To attain these things, you either need to live off the land or have money. If you don't want to be technically homeless, you need money to purchase the land to produce said shelter, food and clean drinking water. At times, attaining these things can be pretty stressful.

Ok, so those are all of your essentials. Great. Now you need to figure out a way to get money. For most people who aren't trust fund babies, that means you are going to have to work about 40 hours per week on average. At times, work can be pretty stressful.

Hopefully you don't have to commute by car or public transportation. Chances are, you will have to deal with some type of transportation even if it's not for work. At times, this can be pretty stressful.

Well you are born, which means at the very least that you must have a mother and a father in your nuclear family. Since they are older then you, they will get sick. It's not if, it's when. And you will probably have to make hard decisions when they get older. At times, this can be pretty stressful.

Now I want you to think about all the other stresses that you have in your life Destiny. Everything from the mundane, such as the loud neighbor who sometimes plays his music to loud at weird hours of the night, to the life defining moments, like when you say your final goodbye to a parent who raised you.

After thinking about all of the stresses that you have to deal with, I ask you this: On top of every other single stressful thing that you must deal with as a human being on this Earth, do you want to take on the added obligation of being 100% responsible for the happiness of another person?

Is that a fair thing to ask of you?

If that's not, then why would it be ok for a female to be 100% responsible for your happiness?

Now, I know you never said verbatim that this new Vietnamese girl was 100% responsible for your happiness.

But you did take the time to investigate whether or not a guy whom you have never met liked a status, sent a liking heart or wrote a comment on the Facebook page of a girl who you have known for less than one year and isn't your girlfriend.

I hope you see my point that I'm trying to make here.

Again, perspective. You have got to keep perspective. Me giving you the examples of how humans have so much stressful things that we have to deal with throughout our own lives, which hopefully shows you that it's not fair to put the burden of your happiness to much (or at all in most cases) onto other people, is a nicer way of saying what Dalaran already told you on the previous page of this thread:

Quote:

Understand this: girls have a right to be weak. You dont. You dont have the right to be weak, emotionally dependent on girls. Or you will end up exactly like one of your chode friend, or worse.

You then asked us for our advice:

Quote:

I'm really torn up inside right now and not sure what to do. So guys please help me out here. I desperately need it. Should I go full on beta on her and message her again saying I'm going fly out either next week or the following week and just ask her to wait for me or should I just forget about her?

I won't answer that. Instead, I'll just repeat myself. Perspective. You have got to keep perspective.

In regards to your future you said:

Quote:

Yes, that's right, destiny's going on another adventure and this time it's gonna be longer, wilder, more exciting, and possibly more successful then my previous attempts.

I ask you this: What happens when the trip ends? What happens when the adventure ends?

You have already gone abroad and had to come back to Canada where you seemed to get back in a rut again.

How is this time going to be different?

I essentially just gave you the same advice that Dalaran gave to you 1 year ago, just in different words.

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.

Look man, I'm cheering for you. I'm rooting for you. We all are.

At the end of the day though, there's only so many ways that you can rephrase what has already been said.

How is this time going to be different?

Good luck buddy, I wish you the best and hope it all works out for you.

[destiny]

(05-12-2018 03:32 AM)GoingTheDistance Wrote:  

Hey man, I haven't posted on your thread as I'm relatively new to the forum. I did read through some of this thread a while back though.

Take my advice with a grain of salt, admittedly I probably can't hold a candle to the likes of the other well repped posters who have already given you advice, some of which are a minority (or asian) like yourself. I'm white, so I can't relate to you there.

First off, I want to say that I think you've done great things in your personal life. Writing a book, starting a YouTube channel, studying Vietnamese seriously and working and saving money is commendable.

Becoming a public figure takes a lot of courage. Most people will never work up the motivation to start side projects like you have. Whether or not your YouTube or books fail or succeed, do not ever get down on yourself if they fail and don't ever get to high on yourself if they succeed. Keep perspective. Always keep perspective.

Again, awesome job on your side ventures, saving money and learning a new language.

There were some things that stood out to me in what you wrote. I'm going to point these out to you, not to get down on you but just to give you an outsiders perspective.

You said this on the last page back in 2017, please pay attention to the words in bold:

Quote:

You guys are right about women. My head isn't very clear right now and I'm very emotional. The last thing I should do right now is open myself up emotionally to another women and become deeply involved with her. I have put that girl on the backburner for now and trying to forget about her. Having said that though, I feel it would still be beneficial for me to date around locally here. I will detach myself mentally from girls and just view them as someone to bang and nothing more. Dating will be seen as more of a hobby and past time then something that needs to be a major priority right now.

The summary of that quote is that you needed to give yourself time to work on yourself before you placed to much importance on women. You decided that you would try to date locally.

I think that was a smart choice.

Then you had this update today:

Quote:

I actually had stalked her wall last night when I was freaking out and wanted to see if she was still lying about having met him 1 month ago. I noticed that the guy was liking practically all of her fb posts and sending her liking hearts and writing comments but she ignored them.

Before I had received the news, I had actually gotten a message from a backup potential plate. I immediately asked if she was going to show me around when I arrived in vn in a few months. I did this because I knew if the news wasn't good I would not be able to handle it. When I got home, I immediately unfollowed her. I'm still debating whether or not to unfriend her.

Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop.

Did I mention, STOP?!

Dude, you have got to stop stalking people on social media. That is not healthy.

This girl is not even your girlfriend. She is certainly not your wife. Nor is she the mother of your children.

This is somebody you have known for less than a year.

You have known this girl for less than one year and you are stalking her social media.

Does this sound like the type of person that you want to be?

Quote:

I feel betrayed, angry, depressed, and sad all at the same time. Who would have thought this would happen to me one month ago. Damn, it stings. This is just like a repeat of that event 2 years ago in latvia with that girl except she never expressed these things with me and even called her my gf or anything.

Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me.

You did not learn from your mistakes. I didn't read back far enough in this thread to see what happened in Latvia. But if you're saying the exact same thing happened, then why didn't you see the red flags with this new girl if you had similar experiences with the Latvian girl?

I know it sucks when things don't work out with a girl. We've all been there.

But again, Perspective. You have got to keep perspective. This is a nicer way of saying what Dalaran already told you on the previous page of this thread:

Quote:

I'm not telling you to do MGTOW or some bullshit, but the idea that your mental well-being depends on female presence is the most pathetic thing that could ever come vomitting out of a man's mouth.

Brother, you have known this Vietnamese girl for less than one year. Falling hard and falling fast for somebody is a human emotion. But you have got to learn to control it and put your emotions in check.

I am not telling you to become bitter with the world. Please don't. There's an endless amount of beauty that's in this world, there really is.

But again, perspective. You have got to keep perspective. This is a nicer way of saying what Dalaran already told you on the previous page of this thread:

Quote:

You need to fucking toss away the idea that you need a girl or be near a girl to restore balance to your life, as if you cant live without some female essence or some shit.

Destiny, I will put it another way to you.

I want you to think about what you have to do in life.

You need to find shelter, have food and clean drinking water. To attain these things, you either need to live off the land or have money. If you don't want to be technically homeless, you need money to purchase the land to produce said shelter, food and clean drinking water. At times, attaining these things can be pretty stressful.

Ok, so those are all of your essentials. Great. Now you need to figure out a way to get money. For most people who aren't trust fund babies, that means you are going to have to work about 40 hours per week on average. At times, work can be pretty stressful.

Hopefully you don't have to commute by car or public transportation. Chances are, you will have to deal with some type of transportation even if it's not for work. At times, this can be pretty stressful.

Well you are born, which means at the very least that you must have a mother and a father in your nuclear family. Since they are older then you, they will get sick. It's not if, it's when. And you will probably have to make hard decisions when they get older. At times, this can be pretty stressful.

Now I want you to think about all the other stresses that you have in your life Destiny. Everything from the mundane, such as the loud neighbor who sometimes plays his music to loud at weird hours of the night, to the life defining moments, like when you say your final goodbye to a parent who raised you.

After thinking about all of the stresses that you have to deal with, I ask you this: On top of every other single stressful thing that you must deal with as a human being on this Earth, do you want to take on the added obligation of being 100% responsible for the happiness of another person?

Is that a fair thing to ask of you?

If that's not, then why would it be ok for a female to be 100% responsible for your happiness?

Now, I know you never said verbatim that this new Vietnamese girl was 100% responsible for your happiness.

But you did take the time to investigate whether or not a guy whom you have never met liked a status, sent a liking heart or wrote a comment on the Facebook page of a girl who you have known for less than one year and isn't your girlfriend.

I hope you see my point that I'm trying to make here.

Again, perspective. You have got to keep perspective. Me giving you the examples of how humans have so much stressful things that we have to deal with throughout our own lives, which hopefully shows you that it's not fair to put the burden of your happiness to much (or at all in most cases) onto other people, is a nicer way of saying what Dalaran already told you on the previous page of this thread:

Quote:

Understand this: girls have a right to be weak. You dont. You dont have the right to be weak, emotionally dependent on girls. Or you will end up exactly like one of your chode friend, or worse.

You then asked us for our advice:

Quote:

I'm really torn up inside right now and not sure what to do. So guys please help me out here. I desperately need it. Should I go full on beta on her and message her again saying I'm going fly out either next week or the following week and just ask her to wait for me or should I just forget about her?

I won't answer that. Instead, I'll just repeat myself. Perspective. You have got to keep perspective.

In regards to your future you said:

Quote:

Yes, that's right, destiny's going on another adventure and this time it's gonna be longer, wilder, more exciting, and possibly more successful then my previous attempts.

I ask you this: What happens when the trip ends? What happens when the adventure ends?

You have already gone abroad and had to come back to Canada where you seemed to get back in a rut again.

How is this time going to be different?

I essentially just gave you the same advice that Dalaran gave to you 1 year ago, just in different words.

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.

Look man, I'm cheering for you. I'm rooting for you. We all are.

At the end of the day though, there's only so many ways that you can rephrase what has already been said.

How is this time going to be different?

Good luck buddy, I wish you the best and hope it all works out for you.

You make some really valid good points.

Let me answer a few of your questions. First regarding the repeat with the latvian girl was I never progressed this far and long with the latvian girl. At best we only flirted which was stupid for me to travel that far. That girl basically told me like 2 days before my trip that she got a new bf. I should have told her to get lost and no point to meet up after she said that.

With this girl, we got much further then that, and I had already met her family and friends although just through videochat and she shared and posted my messages on her wall showing me off and was referring to herself as a my gf. We had a much deeper connection although everything was online so this was why I didn't want to commit to it yet. looking back, my father called me foolish yesterday and an idiot for not agreeing with her and calling myself her bf since he said it was just online and who cares. You can decide when you get there what to do. He said that's one of the areas where I fucked up on.

Now as for your other question about why it will be different this time. I learned from that experience with the lativian girl to never put women first so this was why I didn't just quit my job and leave right away even though I could have spend 1 month, 2 months, 3 months, or even 4 months in vn 2-4 months ago because I knew deep down inside that if I didn't fix this money problem then it would come back and haunt me again. At the end of the 5 months that I was in vn, it would be the exact same repeat of what happened previously when I go back to canada. We would continue talking for a few months and then things would die down and we would break up. I really needed to work on a side business to generate either an online income or side income so that the long-distance thing could be crushed once and for all and I could escape my prison sentence here in toronto. I wanted to save up for at least 5 months to give myself enough time to work on my projects, to ensure I had enough footage for even when I get back to canada so that my channel is still having content updated on at least a weekly basis. I could essentially focus most of my energy when I get back on work to use that money to get rid of all of my debt asap then if I had any extra funds, this would be used for my escape plan.

Assuming I can film everyday while in vietnam, this will give me about 150 days of footage to use. Now assuming I upload 2 videos a week on my channel, now I have content for 1.5 years. If I were to film twice a day, that's 3 years worth of content. This was why it was absolutely critical for me to save up enough funds to ensure my ideas had a fighting chance. Once I have a solid foot on my online financials I knew the world would be my oyster.

I don't think I've learned to become quite unattached to females yet at least not after a while of spending time with them. I guess this will eventually come with more experience with the opposite sex.

As for having the bravery to be a public figure on media, trust me man, I would have preferred not to be and kept my privacy however desperate times call for desperate measures. if you would have asked me last year if I wanted to be seen on youtube, I would have said your crazy, but if you want to strike big, sometimes you have to take some risks. No risk, no rewards. Hopefully gamble pays off, if not, at least I will establish some business connnections in vn which I can hopefully use in the near future for some other business ideas.

[destiny]

Plans going forward before arrival in Vietnam:

Money/Finances/Etc.

I have like 3-4 tiny things left for my book such as renting a po box to get newsletter signups and figuring out how to format it to print physical copies so I'm hoping I can get this done before my trip and order a preview copy. As for my youtube channel, I have looked at several videos in my niche as examples, and now just need to figure out how to write the script. I want to make it flow naturally like a story rather then some amateur looking family video with shaky footage and poor editing. I am bit worried though about filming inside of an establishment, I'm hoping that won't be a problem. I need to get like 4-6 of these videos done before I land in vietnam though. Not a lot of time left. I must hurry up.


Dating/Relationships: I went no contact on that chick and despite my father's pep talk, the negative emotions and feelings came and went throughout the day. I actually had another vietnamese chick call me up this morning asking if we could talk. She showed very high signs of interest such as asking me how I thought about her based on her photos. I have zero interest in this chick sense she is kind of like jacked like a dude (I never understand why chicks want to bodybuild and then complain why no guys like them lol). I gave her a white lie like "Hmm...you look ok lol" she told me the local vn guys didn't like her because of her physique (gee, I wonder why). I didn't want to spend too much time talking with her but I figure some female attention is better then no attention so I stuck with it. I also had 3-4 other vn girls message back and we chatted a little bit. There's a hanoian law student who I kind of went ghost on back in november of last year. She's a little bit of a step down in terms of looks for the face but she makes up for it with having a nice body compared to the other girl who didn't wait for me.

Since I have sworn off girls from toronto, I don't really have much of a choice in the matter in the moment except continuing to message and talk with a wide variety of chicks online via vncupid to help reduce my oneitis symptoms and it has helped somewhat. I just need to figure out how to remain level headed for the next 5 weeks before I land in vn, then I'm sure I'll kick the oneitis to the curb as I can start now approaching targets via daygame.

Fitness/Health:

Back when I was still on EI, I had actually let myself go and ballooned up to my heaviest weight. I was actually quite disgusted with it. This was 2 months ago. I'm glad to report that today when I weighed myself I dropped 16 lbs which is huge in my books for only 2 months of weight lose. I guess my physically demanding jobs plus me going on my strict diet again has helped tremendously. Based on the current trends, I should be in pretty good shape for my arrival in vn and be even leaner then last time. +1 to looks compared to last year.

Also I hit the gym again. It's been like 2 months since I last lifted any weights so I lost most of my gains but that's ok. Just working out made me feel a lot better of my current predicament.


From this point onwards, my main focus is on generating an online fulltime income equivalent to a canadian or us fulltime salary which will allow me to work online and live anywhere in the world. I see this as a long term solution to my problems instead of a band-aid one like my europe trip. I don't want to go through another headache experience like this or those previous times when I had to leave the country or couldn't be there. The distance was screwing me over. No more! if I can pull this off, I can finally go live in a much better country where the dating dynamics aren't heavily against you. This would mean I could improve my dating skills at a much more rapid pace compared to gaming here. I look at my ROI between spending like 25 years here in toronto vs only 3 months abroad and the results are astonishing. I put in way less effort but I get way more back. It just doesn't make sense to have to approach 1000 chicks here only to get like 50 numbers and like 10 dates with only 2-3 of them not flaking when I can do a tenth of that and get 3-4 times the results. Now keep in mind I am doing this all by myself without any mentorship and guidance except doing my research so I'm bound to make a lot of mistakes which I did previously as well and it will take me a while to get it right but I'm confident if I continue to hack away at it that I will eventually hit the jackpot.

This was another reason why despite this chicks repeated pleading for me to go see her soon, I couldn't give up the idea of going to see her before I had all of my stuff prepared and ready to go. Sure it broke my heart to see how things ended up, however, I knew if I had listened to her, it would have been an exact repeat of what happened with that other vietnamese girl who I lost my virginity to. As soon as I left for home, within 3-6 months she would get with another guy, I would be heartbroken and we would be right back to square one except that now I was older. I couldn't afford to make that mistake. She couldn't see this, but I could. Delaying my trip a little longer was absolutely necessary.

[Jetset]

(05-11-2018 05:14 PM)destiny Wrote:  

So this brings us to right now as I type this. I just received the b
I actually had stalked her wall last night when I was freaking out and wanted to see if she was still lying about having met him 1 month ago. I noticed that the guy was liking practically all of her fb posts and sending her liking hearts and writing comments but she ignored them. If what she told me is true then this guy is extremely beta having only met her 1 month ago and already proposing marriage.

One thing I'll point out, to add on to this:

"If there's any doubt, there's no doubt."

If you have to figure out whether or not she's lying, just assume she's lying and proceed with your life. It's easier and healthier.

Women lying about their shady shit is not new or unusual. The first few times you see it, it stops even being interesting. Assume you shouldn't trust her until she proves otherwise and then you can just put your energy into other things.

[AceP]

Bro I share your emotions.

Sometimes when you've done everything right and at the last moment you failed the last test, or didn't get approval of her friends or just get cockblocked in general you feel really crappy. Then again "learn, forgive yourself, and come back stronger from it".

I haven't read all of your travels but have you came to Indonesia before? I'll let you in on a secret if you're planing to come by: it's the least touched SEA paradise for maximum foreigner-exotic factor

[destiny]

(05-15-2018 04:28 PM)AceP Wrote:  

Bro I share your emotions.

Sometimes when you've done everything right and at the last moment you failed the last test, or didn't get approval of her friends or just get cockblocked in general you feel really crappy. Then again "learn, forgive yourself, and come back stronger from it".

I haven't read all of your travels but have you came to Indonesia before? I'll let you in on a secret if you're planing to come by: it's the least touched SEA paradise for maximum foreigner-exotic factor

Not yet. I'll consider it.

[destiny]

Major Update:

So you guys know all about my oneitis and stuff. I was feeling really shitty about how things ended and needed more answers and closure so I asked a few of my friends for their opinions after showing them all of our text messages. They all said and I quote from one friend "She clearly does like or even love you but you need to make a decision." We talked things over and they all convinced me I had to go fight for this girl and to message her to see if I could stop the wedding in 2 months lol. I had finally succumbed and agreed with them that I had to give it one final shot before finally moving on. So when I got home, I wrote a sappy ass long message that I was going to send to her, but then I decided to just casually browse her sister's profile. Can you guess what happened next?


I found out she got married on Sunday. Can you fucking believe that shit? Here she was on thursday telling me to get my ass to vietnam asap to see her and then we will decide what to do next afterwards but then she tells me on friday that she decided to get married soon and then bam, sunday she got married. I was completely devastated when I found out.

You guys were fucking right. I should have listened to you guys, instead of letting my emotions and putting in even more of my emotions into her. She was a lying fucking bitch. Here she is telling me to come immediately and quit my job on thursday only to get married on sunday. Like wtf. I also looked deeper into some of her friends now and found out she had already taken several wedding photography photos several days before the wedding. Like seriously?
And in some of them it shows her and her husband kissing. On the wedding album I found on her sister's fb profile however, showed zero photos of her and her husband and in one video where she had to stand beside him, she looks disgusted and doesn't want to stand beside him.

She was so good at lying. On tuesday she was telling me that she is still waiting for me blah blah blah... while she already had intentions to get married. Like what was she expecting? Me to arrive and crash the wedding? Or to use me for some other malicious intent? Also that husband of hers, I'm positive she only met him one month ago back in April. To get married so quickly throughout knowing anything about the other person, wow. Well I hope she picked the right guy because someday karma is gonna come biting her in the ass I hope.

When I found the news out, I was fucked up, like seriously fucked in the heart, crying my eyes out like a fag. How could someone that I cared this deeply for do such a thing like this to me. She was lying to me the whole time. She was such a good liar that she even got my friends fooled too by her text messages. I don't think I could even trust a female again after this. There all are the fucking same, two-faced backstabbing whores. I am hurting so much inside right now that I can't even think straight. This was a girl that I thought that maybe someday I could walk down the aisle with. Think about that for a second. I don't know what she had planned because back in april when she wrote me that message "what will you do if I get married before you come here?" and "don't you want to hold me tight and not let me go?" after I told her there was nothing I could do. I suppose she was expecting me to cheat on her husband with her or something or to continue to string me along.

I wonder what happened if I had arrived in vietnam after she got married and I feighted that I didn't know she was married. Well she told me her parents wanted her to get married in two months when I asked her last week. I interpreted that to mean in July. I wonder what would happen if I came right now or in june and we met up? I would pretend I didn't know she was married and then ask her a few questions that I knew she lied about with a huge fucking grin on my face. Then after she answered, I would ask her really? Your such a honest, nice, and kind person. Then I would open my phone and open her sister's facebook profile and show her the pics of her wedding. That would be an epic surprise for her.

Even now the bitch is still keeping it a secret. Her facebook has no wedding photos, her profile is the same, her relationship status is the same. Man, the length of lying some of these bitches will go to. I initially thought that she would be my final destination in my journey in dating but it looks like the gods have something else planned for me. It's kind of funny now that I think about it. I had asked god or the universe earlier what I should do about this chick, whether or not I should go there immediately or just drop her and I was asking for a sign. I guess I got it a few hours later, Although completely not what I expected lol. Damn that fucking hurt and stung.

Not really sure about Vietnam right now, but I feel I should still go there and make a name for myself on youtube and also so that I can meet other chicks. It would be even better if I posted pics of me with them on fb for this chick to see. We'll see what happens. I need a day or two break to help clear my head of all the things I just happened today.

[GoingTheDistance]

(05-15-2018 07:53 PM)destiny Wrote:  

Major Update:
SNIP

Destiny, I just read over your update here.

I'm not going to list all of the red flags that this girl had. Those have already been covered thoroughly in this thread and the "defriending somebody on facebook" thread that you made.

With that being said, when a girl is married to somebody else, that is 99.9999% of the time a sign that it is time for you to move on.

You are not listening to a single word that anybody has said to you. The advice is going in one ear and out the other.

I am going to repeat only one thing to you and I pray to God that you actually listen to what I am telling you:

I encourage you to please try to put yourself into other peoples shoes.

This girl is from a third world country. Her retirement plan is literally getting married and having kids. The government of Vietnam will not take care of her when she can no longer work.

You have not committed to marrying this girl. The girl and her parents know this. Therefore, you are a risky investment.

She has a Vietnamese guy who did commit to marrying her. The girl and her parents know this. He is a safe investment.

I'm not saying that you should have married this girl. In my opinion you shouldn't have because there were to many red flags and warning signs.

I am merely trying to explain that this girl is doing what she has to do to survive. I am giving you the rationale for her behavior. Whether her behavior is "right or wrong" is irrelevant. I am telling you in very plain language that for better or for worse, this girl is doing what she has to do to survive.

The reason I'm telling you this is so that you can hopefully move on from this girl and leave her alone. Stop looking at her social media. Cut her off from all social media actually. Cut off all contact with her.

This girl has gotten married. She has made her choice.

Leave this girl alone Destiny. That is the best thing that you can do for yourself, for the girl and for society at large.

Leave. This. Girl. Alone.

It's over.

LEAVE

HER

ALONE!

[destiny]

(05-15-2018 09:55 PM)GoingTheDistance Wrote:  

(05-15-2018 07:53 PM)destiny Wrote:  

Major Update:
SNIP

Destiny, I just read over your update here.

I'm not going to list all of the red flags that this girl had. Those have already been covered thoroughly in this thread and the "defriending somebody on facebook" thread that you made.

With that being said, when a girl is married to somebody else, that is 99.9999% of the time a sign that it is time for you to move on.

You are not listening to a single word that anybody has said to you. The advice is going in one ear and out the other.

I am going to repeat only one thing to you and I pray to God that you actually listen to what I am telling you:

I encourage you to please try to put yourself into other peoples shoes.

This girl is from a third world country. Her retirement plan is literally getting married and having kids. The government of Vietnam will not take care of her when she can no longer work.

You have not committed to marrying this girl. The girl and her parents know this. Therefore, you are a risky investment.

She has a Vietnamese guy who did commit to marrying her. The girl and her parents know this. He is a safe investment.

I'm not saying that you should have married this girl. In my opinion you shouldn't have because there were to many red flags and warning signs.

I am merely trying to explain that this girl is doing what she has to do to survive. I am giving you the rationale for her behavior. Whether her behavior is "right or wrong" is irrelevant. I am telling you in very plain language that for better or for worse, this girl is doing what she has to do to survive.

The reason I'm telling you this is so that you can hopefully move on from this girl and leave her alone. Stop looking at her social media. Cut her off from all social media actually. Cut off all contact with her.

This girl has gotten married. She has made her choice.

Leave this girl alone Destiny. That is the best thing that you can do for yourself, for the girl and for society at large.

Leave. This. Girl. Alone.

It's over.

LEAVE

HER

ALONE!

I haven't contacted her at all yet in fact never now after I found out. I think I was still hanging onto the hope that we could make things work out once I had arrived there, that was why I still hadn't unfriended her yet but now I have. She will no longer be a part of my life.

[Jetset]

(05-15-2018 07:53 PM)destiny Wrote:  

I wonder what happened if I had arrived in vietnam after she got married and I feighted that I didn't know she was married. Well she told me her parents wanted her to get married in two months when I asked her last week. I interpreted that to mean in July. I wonder what would happen if I came right now or in june and we met up? I would pretend I didn't know she was married and then ask her a few questions that I knew she lied about with a huge fucking grin on my face. Then after she answered, I would ask her really? Your such a honest, nice, and kind person. Then I would open my phone and open her sister's facebook profile and show her the pics of her wedding. That would be an epic surprise for her.

No offense, but you've apparently been gamed by a Vietnamese peasant woman. Taking this at face value, she's hiding her wedding? She's hiding her wedding?

Fuckin' LOL, bro. That tells you everything you need to know. It's just a wedding, smart woman's gotta keep her options open, right?

You are depressed over all this and I get it, but put it in perspective. She's. Just. Some. Bitch. Be glad you weren't the one wifing it up - because you have gotten into this way over your head and were in real danger of doing something just that goofy. Her "epic surprise" would probably just end in terrible disappointment for you when you realized that she can compartmentalize it and hamster it all away.

As I recall, years ago, there was a story about a Chinese man who was planning to marry and was fixing up an illegal house for them to move into. The government bulldozed the house, she cancelled the wedding, and married another man. The man, instead of charging it to the Chinese Edition of the Game, built a homemade gun, took it to the town festival, and shot the government official who signed off on the demolition of the house.

His last gesture before he was arrested or killed by a mob of Communist Party goons (I forget which) was to call the woman and tell her what he'd done for her.

Think about that. This broad gave zero fucks and he's running around fashioning homemade weapons to murder people to avenge their imaginary love.

Don't go down that road. What she's doing doesn't matter. Proving anything to her doesn't matter. She's. Just. Some. Bitch.

[AceP]

Lots of good inputs from the bros here. And more or less the same input. Like its better to think things through from a logical point of view not an emotional one (thats how women are). Is she really worth it all your "sadness" for her? How hot is she really? Is she's like a 9 super model hot? Or just an average you would see at the mall. Is she the daughter of a rich Vietnamese empire tycoon that'll change your life if you marry her or something?

Things can actually get pretty dangerous in night game especially with drunk people around. But my mentality is that as long as I don't lose any of my limps, I can always get another chick from the at least 1 billion other eligible chicks in the world. My personal injury is not worth scoring a chick -- much less if shes not even HB10.

[destiny]

(05-16-2018 09:31 AM)Jetset Wrote:  

(05-15-2018 07:53 PM)destiny Wrote:  

I wonder what happened if I had arrived in vietnam after she got married and I feighted that I didn't know she was married. Well she told me her parents wanted her to get married in two months when I asked her last week. I interpreted that to mean in July. I wonder what would happen if I came right now or in june and we met up? I would pretend I didn't know she was married and then ask her a few questions that I knew she lied about with a huge fucking grin on my face. Then after she answered, I would ask her really? Your such a honest, nice, and kind person. Then I would open my phone and open her sister's facebook profile and show her the pics of her wedding. That would be an epic surprise for her.

No offense, but you've apparently been gamed by a Vietnamese peasant woman. Taking this at face value, she's hiding her wedding? She's hiding her wedding?

Fuckin' LOL, bro. That tells you everything you need to know. It's just a wedding, smart woman's gotta keep her options open, right?

You are depressed over all this and I get it, but put it in perspective. She's. Just. Some. Bitch. Be glad you weren't the one wifing it up - because you have gotten into this way over your head and were in real danger of doing something just that goofy. Her "epic surprise" would probably just end in terrible disappointment for you when you realized that she can compartmentalize it and hamster it all away.

As I recall, years ago, there was a story about a Chinese man who was planning to marry and was fixing up an illegal house for them to move into. The government bulldozed the house, she cancelled the wedding, and married another man. The man, instead of charging it to the Chinese Edition of the Game, built a homemade gun, took it to the town festival, and shot the government official who signed off on the demolition of the house.

His last gesture before he was arrested or killed by a mob of Communist Party goons (I forget which) was to call the woman and tell her what he'd done for her.

Think about that. This broad gave zero fucks and he's running around fashioning homemade weapons to murder people to avenge their imaginary love.

Don't go down that road. What she's doing doesn't matter. Proving anything to her doesn't matter. She's. Just. Some. Bitch.

Your right, my head is just so far up my ass right now though that I cannot think clearly. Right now my logical brain is fighting with my emotional brain but my emotional brain is winning most of the battles. If I were to speak with my logical brain I would conclude that:

There were several red flags that immediately disqualified her for anything long-term.

1. Lied about her husband. First she said she wasn't involved with him then later says he proposed to marry her. Right, not involved eh?

2. Lied about the wedding date. She told me in 2 months, yet they just got hitched this past weekend right in the same week that she told me her parents wanted her to marry him in two months. It must have been like 3-4 days later when they got married.

3. Lied about waiting for me and that she didn't agree to marry him. She already had agreed to marry him and was keeping it a secret. I suppose she was still trying to keep her options open not realizing that most men automatically dump a a chick after she's someone else's girl. Like what was she expecting? To meet up with me and cheat with me behind her husbands back? I would have a whole mob after me. This was a pretty big one. The fact that she couldn't keep her end of the bargain tells me how committed she was into the relationship. They even had professional wedding photography photos done a few days before the wedding, so she definitely already made up her mind. She just didn't want to tell me the truth.

4. Despite getting married already, she still keeps her wedding hidden. This tells me she not only is very deceiving but is disrespectful towards her new husband and doesn't see him as being worthy of showing off to the world. I think when a girl is really into you, she would gladly brag about you and show you off to her family and friends. I mean a wedding is like the biggest deal in a women's life yet she chooses to hide this from others?

She should have been kicked to the curb right that day when she told me the news that her parents wanted her to marry that guy and I should have had the strength to walk away for good but I didn't. My emotional brain didn't want to let her go. It was hard to have invested so much time and energy with her. We talked about many things we were going to do together. She showed me off and let me talk with her family and friends, and even posted our message exchanges on her facebook wall. I guess this maybe caused her husband to try to quickly tie her down when he saw her posting stuff about me when he arrived in the picture. As difficult as it is to let her go, I know that it was the right decision. I ain't ready for marriage, and I had a few doubts about her honestly but she was such a sweet talker. I better be careful of girls like that in the future. While as bad as she treated me, I have forgiven her and don't hold a grudge against her. Moving on from her will be difficult but I am sure I can manage.

I broke several important game fundamentals such as the following:

1. Judge a woman by her actions not her words. When she first brought up that her parents wanted her to marry this guy and she said she was still waiting for me and didn't agree to marry him, I should have told her to put her money where her mouth is and tell that guy to fuck off and unfriend him, and then write on her facebook wall that she loves me and can't wait to see me soon. I should have told her to show me through her actions and not just words what she wrote. This would have been a really good indicator of whether or not she was really into the relationship or not.

2. Always have backup options. Initially when I first started talking with her, I was talking with several chicks, maybe around 5-7 girls at once. Unfortunately as time went by, I focused almost all of my attention on her and didn't maintain the level of interaction with those other girls. I saw the most potential with her so thought she would be the best candidate. Big mistake. This made me more reliant and dependent on her because I had put all of my eggs in one basket. If I had several options I probably would not have been as easily shakened off center.

3. Never become too emotionally attached to any chick. Because when the walls come tumbling down, your gonna get crushed!

4. Don't expect women to keep their promises and commitments in most cases. I had this happen previously and yet I didn't learn my lesson. I guess that I thought since we have been talking so much longer compared to the previous girls and we had starting talking about bf/gf stuff that I was safe. I guess not, at any point in time, she can throw a curb ball at you and you will get fucked!

5. Always be willing to drop a chick if she falls outta line. Always being prepared to walk away and never look back if her behaviour and actions are unacceptable. I failed to see that when I would arrive in vietnam to see her, I would be surrounded by tonnes of feminine and pretty vietnamese girls too in case things didn't work out between us so I shouldn't be so desperate to cling onto her.


I really hope in the future that I don't break these rules again but knowing me, it may be a while before it becomes concrete in my head.

This experience has shown me that I still have many insecurities and doubts within myself that I need to eradicate or at least work more on. I should never have allowed a woman to move me off center. I let my emotions get the best of me. This has always been a weakness of mines. I just get too damn emotional and I don't know how to control it. I need to learn to calm the fuck down and just relax and think everything through before I say or do something when I am under a lot of stress and pressure. Like today, I was nearly about to quit this shitty job within the first hour of the shift because I let my emotions and me still feeling like shit about what happened with the girl effect me greatly. Luckily, I told myself you need to stay here at least for another 2 days and finish the week. You can think things through on the weekend and then decide. That was what helped me pass through that emotional episode and return back to center later on in the day.

[destiny]

(05-16-2018 10:07 AM)AceP Wrote:  

Lots of good inputs from the bros here. And more or less the same input. Like its better to think things through from a logical point of view not an emotional one (thats how women are). Is she really worth it all your "sadness" for her? How hot is she really? Is she's like a 9 super model hot? Or just an average you would see at the mall. Is she the daughter of a rich Vietnamese empire tycoon that'll change your life if you marry her or something?

Things can actually get pretty dangerous in night game especially with drunk people around. But my mentality is that as long as I don't lose any of my limps, I can always get another chick from the at least 1 billion other eligible chicks in the world. My personal injury is not worth scoring a chick -- much less if shes not even HB10.

Ya I read your comment and I really thought about it. She doesn't deserve me spending all of this emotional energy getting depressed and upset over.

[AceP]

Man bro, I would like to say just from writing "all that" you're really inside "her frame" -per say. This is exactly what shes wants off you. She wants your mind to be so into her when really, there's literally another billion girls just-like-her if not hotter. And some of these girls who are actually the nicer kind. It seems to be the kind of girl that you might be looking for.

[destiny]

(05-16-2018 04:00 PM)AceP Wrote:  

Man bro, I would like to say just from writing "all that" you're really inside "her frame" -per say. This is exactly what shes wants off you. She wants your mind to be so into her when really, there's literally another billion girls just-like-her if not hotter. And some of these girls who are actually the nicer kind. It seems to be the kind of girl that you might be looking for.

Ya for sure. I was in way too deep.

Yup that is the goal.

[destiny]

I haven't been able to get any productive work done for the past 2 days since I found out about her wedding. In fact, I've been getting something like 2 hours of sleep a night. Not good, not good at all. I know right now I am still feeling the effects of the depression as the emotions course through my veins but I need to get this stuff done asap before my trip.


Things left to do:

Book: Figure out how to add in files on mailchimp and setup newsletter, doublecheck everything thorough then convert to proper file format, format document for printing physical copy and then finally uploading the file and being done with it.

Youtube:

Plan what type of shots I want, write out the script and practice, go shoot, post production editing, marketing

I'm kind of laying off females right now as I'm really not in the mood to deal with this stuff. I just need some time to get my head back straight so that I can think clearly again.

We're 4.5 weeks ago!

[AceP]

(05-16-2018 08:23 PM)destiny Wrote:  

I haven't been able to get any productive work done for the past 2 days since I found out about her wedding. In fact, I've been getting something like 2 hours of sleep a night. Not good, not good at all. I know right now I am still feeling the effects of the depression as the emotions course through my veins but I need to get this stuff done asap before my trip.


Things left to do:

Book: Figure out how to add in files on mailchimp and setup newsletter, doublecheck everything thorough then convert to proper file format, format document for printing physical copy and then finally uploading the file and being done with it.

Youtube:

Plan what type of shots I want, write out the script and practice, go shoot, post production editing, marketing

I'm kind of laying off females right now as I'm really not in the mood to deal with this stuff. I just need some time to get my head back straight so that I can think clearly again.

We're 4.5 weeks ago!

Unless you're at the point where you don't give a f about women, one of the best way remedy a broken heart is to get another chick that actually does like you. At least this is the way I gotten over my ex back then when my game wasn't really good.

[destiny]

(05-17-2018 07:18 AM)AceP Wrote:  

(05-16-2018 08:23 PM)destiny Wrote:  

I haven't been able to get any productive work done for the past 2 days since I found out about her wedding. In fact, I've been getting something like 2 hours of sleep a night. Not good, not good at all. I know right now I am still feeling the effects of the depression as the emotions course through my veins but I need to get this stuff done asap before my trip.


Things left to do:

Book: Figure out how to add in files on mailchimp and setup newsletter, doublecheck everything thorough then convert to proper file format, format document for printing physical copy and then finally uploading the file and being done with it.

Youtube:

Plan what type of shots I want, write out the script and practice, go shoot, post production editing, marketing

I'm kind of laying off females right now as I'm really not in the mood to deal with this stuff. I just need some time to get my head back straight so that I can think clearly again.

We're 4.5 weeks ago!

Unless you're at the point where you don't give a f about women, one of the best way remedy a broken heart is to get another chick that actually does like you. At least this is the way I gotten over my ex back then when my game wasn't really good.

I'm sure it about 4 weeks time that won't be a problem once I touch down in vietnam. In fact, I was speaking with a friend from vietnam and she actually said she was going to set me up on dates when I arrive lol.

The hard part is making it through these 4 weeks.

[destiny]

Update:

Today I felt much much better after getting around 7 hours of sleep. I think I am slowing being able to move on now and I can see my mind becoming more clear again. I had some issues with the supervisors at my work place being total douchebags and riding everyone today. After tomorrow I'll have enough funds for the plane ticket and then I can pretty much tell them to fuck off if I wanted to and quit this job, although I will hang onto it just a little longer for an extra emergency funds unless of course they really push my buttons.

My co-worker today brought up the girl again. He said I shouldn't be blaming her too much because there are somethings I don't know about. Perhaps she was really forced into it. He brought up a past experience similar to mines that he went through. He met a girl online who was forced into being with some guy because he had the same background as her and their parents were good friends. She hated the relationship and would go sneak off and have sex with my co-worker in hotel rooms frequently. Later on, she developed feelings for him and one day asked him to run off with her after she had learned her parents were pressuring her to get married to that man. My co-worker said he didn't go through with it because he lacked money and he was still very young at the time. He said a few years later, that chick messaged him on facebook saying that he and her made the biggest mistakes of their lifes. She was married to the guy and had two kids and was miserable. He told me he regretted his decision for not running off with her.

I countered that his situation was different because she proposed they did that whereas in mines, the girl told me ambiguously about it (indirectly, like how you know when a women says something but it means something entirely different?) and never mentioned running off. He brought up a hypothetical situation that what if she later tried to contact me and told me something similar to his story that she was forced to marry this man and now she wants to run away with me. What would I do. I told him that firstly, I deleted her from my facebook so contacting me will be much more difficult. He said what if she showed up at a place that I was at if she was stalking me on facebook or something. I again countered that it was impossible because she lives in the north and I'll mainly be staying in the south in hcmc. For her to get here, she would need to take a plane and then she would have to find me in the city, so there was a next to zero chance for that. Secondly, if I am involved with another girl there especially if she is prettier and we also vibe well, I most likely wouldn't do that to the current girl that I was with. But I told him, I don't know. I really don't know how I would react to it, and that I'll worry about it if it happened. I said to him the fact that she didn't try to contact me after we said our goodbyes tells me everything I need to know. He told me not to be angry and bitter at her and that sometimes somethings are out of the person's control like them being forced to marry someone they don't want to be married to.
I told him then they should have gotten a divorce! and he laughed and said true.

At the moment, I am still debating between staying for another 4 weeks so just quitting within the next two and just taking off. I know the trip will be a good breath of fresh air for me after all that happened recently. I'll decide next week what to do.

At the moment I've been lining up prospects in vietnam. I have about 5-6 girls that I have been talking to and my friend in vietnam yesterday said that she will introduce me to her friends when I arrive. This should help accelerate the healing process and this girl will be a thing of the past in no time.

[AceP]

(05-17-2018 03:55 PM)destiny Wrote:  

My co-worker today brought up the girl again. He said I shouldn't be blaming her too much because there are somethings I don't know about. Perhaps she was really forced into it. He brought up a past experience similar to mines that he went through. He met a girl online who was forced into being with some guy because he had the same background as her and their parents were good friends. She hated the relationship and would go sneak off and have sex with my co-worker in hotel rooms frequently. Later on, she developed feelings for him and one day asked him to run off with her after she had learned her parents were pressuring her to get married to that man. My co-worker said he didn't go through with it because he lacked money and he was still very young at the time. He said a few years later, that chick messaged him on facebook saying that he and her made the biggest mistakes of their lifes. She was married to the guy and had two kids and was miserable. He told me he regretted his decision for not running off with her.

And regarding that co-worker, you know this is a very women-oriented tactic of "oh I am such a victim, come save me" = aka. Playing with your mind and obsesses over me. I am only saying: you become like the people you surround yourself with. I don't know about your stance on bluepill or redpill but personally I won't let myself, my thoughts and my actions be affected by female-victim tactics. Don't let a women make who you are.

Aside from that. That's beautiful bro, you have dates set up for you. Now that's what you ougtha be doing, moving on.

[Jetset]

(05-18-2018 05:29 AM)AceP Wrote:  

And regarding that co-worker, you know this is a very women-oriented tactic of "oh I am such a victim, come save me" = aka. Playing with your mind and obsesses over me.

In a genuine persecutor/victim interaction, the victim will want to terminate the relationship with the persecutor.

Anytime you see the "victim" enlisting a rescuer without a clear agenda to leave the situation, it's fake. They are getting an emotional high out of the drama and not only are they not really trying to end the situation, they can't end the situation because they'll lose their fix.

A lot of young guys in "love triangles" don't understand this and actually believe she wants to be rescued, without understanding that it's all fantasy role-play. It sounds like destiny's friend never really caught on to this. She'd probably eventually have painted his friend as a persecutor, too, if he'd run off with her. Same goes for destiny's Vietnamese girl, if he'd ended up marrying her.

[destiny]

(05-18-2018 05:29 AM)AceP Wrote:  

(05-17-2018 03:55 PM)destiny Wrote:  

My co-worker today brought up the girl again. He said I shouldn't be blaming her too much because there are somethings I don't know about. Perhaps she was really forced into it. He brought up a past experience similar to mines that he went through. He met a girl online who was forced into being with some guy because he had the same background as her and their parents were good friends. She hated the relationship and would go sneak off and have sex with my co-worker in hotel rooms frequently. Later on, she developed feelings for him and one day asked him to run off with her after she had learned her parents were pressuring her to get married to that man. My co-worker said he didn't go through with it because he lacked money and he was still very young at the time. He said a few years later, that chick messaged him on facebook saying that he and her made the biggest mistakes of their lifes. She was married to the guy and had two kids and was miserable. He told me he regretted his decision for not running off with her.

And regarding that co-worker, you know this is a very women-oriented tactic of "oh I am such a victim, come save me" = aka. Playing with your mind and obsesses over me. I am only saying: you become like the people you surround yourself with. I don't know about your stance on bluepill or redpill but personally I won't let myself, my thoughts and my actions be affected by female-victim tactics. Don't let a women make who you are.

Aside from that. That's beautiful bro, you have dates set up for you. Now that's what you ougtha be doing, moving on.

Ya, I should have done that from the beginning and had multiple prospects lined up but I fell victim to the ill-fated oneitis trap. My mind has been becoming more and more clear as the days go by.