Quote: (09-03-2016 03:08 PM)robreke Wrote:
But no, this story is a rather specialized and more rare case study.
A case study on when the girl is into you, but the family isn't and will do anything to sabotage you.
The lesson is that you can never just focus on the girl, but also her influences. Any girl has multitudes of influences, and if you are going to be with one long-term, you must identify those, identify how they influence her, and whether it can be managed.
Could be a friend, or multiple friends - family - a church - anything. Identify the influences. Because they are out of your control, and by ignoring them, you set yourself up for failure. This story is specific... but the lesson isn't as specific.
The miscellaneous lesson is don't invest anything into a girl you don't want to lose. Expect anything invested to be lost. And in fact, stop considering it an investment; it's purely an expense. Anything shared is an expense you paid. You won't get it back. If you do, it's a lucky gift back.
Actually, let me add a real summary of the lessons I have learned here, that are core.
- You can never focus on the girl, but you must always consider every influence on her, and whether it promotes your goals or hinders them, and whether you can manage them.
- A woman will always take the course that is most self-protective, regardless of what you might want to believe. She will take the course that she believes is the least risky for herself. Always.
- Anything shared or put towards a girl is an expense, never an investment, be it time, money, or anything else. This is commonly found in other stories, but still important.