[jcrew247]

(10-20-2016 08:06 AM)Hazaer Wrote:  

Good points. But if the sexual intent is not made clear at the beginning, wont she just classify him in the friendzone?

Also, as someone who has lived in apartments before, there are guys out there, who are really not such great friends with their neighbours though they do engage in the occasional chit chat.

What can they do to show social proof and how important is social proof actually if the guy seems normal and confident around people around him?

You sound really inexperienced with women and socially awkward, which is okay and can be learned to improve.

First, the harsh reality is there is no such thing as the friendzone. She either views you as an attractive man or an unattractive and ugly man. Just think about it, there are pretty girls you want to date, and ugly girls you want to avoid and put in the friendzone.

Now, there are ways to get out of the friendzone - meaning make yourself look more attractive, act more attractive, and be more attractive. There are ways to turn an ugly guy into an attractive man.

It starts with (1) physical appearance - clothes, hair, glasses. Next, (2) communication skills - be friendly and socialable to everyone, say Hello to everyone, make small talk, get a lot of friends, this establishes social proof and validates your status. (3) Lifestyle and hobbies that are attractive to women and provide a good reason to talk to women and share activities with women. Talk to a lot of women, if a girl sees you talking to a lot of women she will get jealous and feel attraction to you. If a girl does not like you, move onto other women.

[Hazaer]

(10-21-2016 02:39 PM)jcrew247 Wrote:  

(10-20-2016 08:06 AM)Hazaer Wrote:  

Good points. But if the sexual intent is not made clear at the beginning, wont she just classify him in the friendzone?

Also, as someone who has lived in apartments before, there are guys out there, who are really not such great friends with their neighbours though they do engage in the occasional chit chat.

What can they do to show social proof and how important is social proof actually if the guy seems normal and confident around people around him?

You sound really inexperienced with women and socially awkward, which is okay and can be learned to improve.

First, the harsh reality is there is no such thing as the friendzone. She either views you as an attractive man or an unattractive and ugly man. Just think about it, there are pretty girls you want to date, and ugly girls you want to avoid and put in the friendzone.

Now, there are ways to get out of the friendzone - meaning make yourself look more attractive, act more attractive, and be more attractive. There are ways to turn an ugly guy into an attractive man.

It starts with (1) physical appearance - clothes, hair, glasses. Next, (2) communication skills - be friendly and socialable to everyone, say Hello to everyone, make small talk, get a lot of friends, this establishes social proof and validates your status. (3) Lifestyle and hobbies that are attractive to women and provide a good reason to talk to women and share activities with women. Talk to a lot of women, if a girl sees you talking to a lot of women she will get jealous and feel attraction to you. If a girl does not like you, move onto other women.

Good points man. I do admit I am lacking in the social experiences that is necessary to be successful with women. Especially 2 and 3 at the moment. The reality is that not all the guys you make small talk with can be your friends to hang around with and show social proof. I am in my mid 20s and being at uni, am surrounded by teens. But, yeah going to an event and knowing people is not a problem. However, to become your buddy, one has to have similar interests in game and views on life and I dont see that in the mature students at my uni. So, most of the time, I go to events in and out of campus alone. But that comes with the challenge of breaking through the social circles of others.

Also, I would like to know what is that lifestyle and hobbies that are attractive to women?

[Carmichael Reid]

(10-22-2016 07:18 AM)Hazaer Wrote:  

Also, I would like to know what is that lifestyle and hobbies that are attractive to women?

Lifestyles and hobbies that are attractive to you. Don't be a people pleaser. As long as you are very good at what you do. It doesn't matter what it is. But first, things first, YOU gotta enjoy it for the fact that you enjoy it. Not for others, definitely not for a girl...


Look alive out there!

[jcrew247]

(10-22-2016 07:18 AM)Hazaer Wrote:  

(10-21-2016 02:39 PM)jcrew247 Wrote:  

(10-20-2016 08:06 AM)Hazaer Wrote:  

Good points. But if the sexual intent is not made clear at the beginning, wont she just classify him in the friendzone?

Also, as someone who has lived in apartments before, there are guys out there, who are really not such great friends with their neighbours though they do engage in the occasional chit chat.

What can they do to show social proof and how important is social proof actually if the guy seems normal and confident around people around him?

You sound really inexperienced with women and socially awkward, which is okay and can be learned to improve.

First, the harsh reality is there is no such thing as the friendzone. She either views you as an attractive man or an unattractive and ugly man. Just think about it, there are pretty girls you want to date, and ugly girls you want to avoid and put in the friendzone.

Now, there are ways to get out of the friendzone - meaning make yourself look more attractive, act more attractive, and be more attractive. There are ways to turn an ugly guy into an attractive man.

It starts with (1) physical appearance - clothes, hair, glasses. Next, (2) communication skills - be friendly and socialable to everyone, say Hello to everyone, make small talk, get a lot of friends, this establishes social proof and validates your status. (3) Lifestyle and hobbies that are attractive to women and provide a good reason to talk to women and share activities with women. Talk to a lot of women, if a girl sees you talking to a lot of women she will get jealous and feel attraction to you. If a girl does not like you, move onto other women.

Good points man. I do admit I am lacking in the social experiences that is necessary to be successful with women. Especially 2 and 3 at the moment. The reality is that not all the guys you make small talk with can be your friends to hang around with and show social proof. I am in my mid 20s and being at uni, am surrounded by teens. But, yeah going to an event and knowing people is not a problem. However, to become your buddy, one has to have similar interests in game and views on life and I dont see that in the mature students at my uni. So, most of the time, I go to events in and out of campus alone. But that comes with the challenge of breaking through the social circles of others.

Also, I would like to know what is that lifestyle and hobbies that are attractive to women?

Jeez man, you are in college and every girl is looking to get laid. Maybe get some experience by banging the ugly fat girls who are easy. Just go to parties or events where there are a lot of women. Join some clubs and activities that have women. Join some clubs pertaining to your major and do some networking to make friends. Try new things to meet women, maybe try out a Yoga class on campus or do some volunteering activity. Women are into acting and dance so maybe check out those shows. Go to some frat parties if you college has them. You gotta put some energy into having a social life and going to social events, and networking - its like collecting business cards, only you are trying to get women's phone numbers.

[torridon747]

(10-22-2016 09:40 AM)Carmichael Reid Wrote:  

Lifestyles and hobbies that are attractive to you.

Real shit. Common mistake people make. Do things for you, things that you enjoy and have passion for. That's not only better for you but more attractive in the end.

[Vaun]

I was 24 when I moved into my new giant apartment in an old Victorian home. She was 35, yes older, but fresh off an engagement, fit and great body, and.... my landlord. Thought she was cute, but didn't move on it. Then one night I saw her dressed up for an event and I couldn't hold back! The next few weeks I started going on dog walks with her at night, then hanging in her place, then her all over me, all the time for a year. We broke up because she wanted a husband and I wanted to get out of where we lived. We ended up hanging and having sex for a few years, until she got a new boyfriend. When I started seeing them together all the time, him staying at her place, etc etc. It literally drove me to go on Paxil, dropped a bunch of weight, etc. Pretty much the worst break up I have ever had. It drove me to get out and go get more in life though, breaking up with her was pretty much what flung me out into the world.

The risk I see is not that she is psycho, its that if you end up really into her, you will have to see her all the time. Hard to maintain distance and mystery.

[jcrew247]

(10-22-2016 02:40 PM)Eugenics Wrote:  

(10-22-2016 09:40 AM)Carmichael Reid Wrote:  

Lifestyles and hobbies that are attractive to you.

Real shit. Common mistake people make. Do things for you, things that you enjoy and have passion for. That's not only better for you but more attractive in the end.

Yes, but a guy still needs to try new things that he may be uncomfortable with if he wants to meet new people and women. A lot of things that guys like to do don't involve very many women. If you want to meet women outside of bars, then try out things and events that women like.

[Carmichael Reid]

(10-22-2016 03:43 PM)jcrew247 Wrote:  

(10-22-2016 02:40 PM)Eugenics Wrote:  

(10-22-2016 09:40 AM)Carmichael Reid Wrote:  

Lifestyles and hobbies that are attractive to you.

Real shit. Common mistake people make. Do things for you, things that you enjoy and have passion for. That's not only better for you but more attractive in the end.

Yes, but a guy still needs to try new things that he may be uncomfortable with if he wants to meet new people and women. A lot of things that guys like to do don't involve very many women. If you want to meet women outside of bars, then try out things and events that women like.

Understood. But trying new things to meet new women is a 2nd priority than finding your real purpose. This is the first step in building real self confidence and self control which is the foundation of game.

Do you really think trying new things that involve women such as Wine tasting, hiking, and dance class is gonna get him laid or make him any more of a man? Wine tasting is fine once you're on your way working on a purposeful mission. I do yoga, not for the girls, but for myself, if I happen to meet a girl, fine. But I'm extremely selfish with my happiness and finding it through other people is a fool's errand.

I advise guys to be extremely selfish and self reliant when it comes to their happiness.

PS: Girls can smell a thirsty guy who is just doing girl activities simply to meet girls == Anti seduction.

[jcrew247]

I guess it depends what the hobbies are. Most guys love to spend time playing video games, and it builds self-confidence. But it doesn't help at all with social skills or meeting women. Most men would be perfectly happy playing video games all day if they already had a wife or girlfriend.

But single guys are single because they aren't meeting any women sitting at home, and must break out of their comfort zone and do social things that seem uncomfortable. Most men are analytical thinkers but cannot communicate well in social situations and lack the experience in social settings. It takes practice and experience to get better in social settings, just like everyone is a beginner dancer in dance class or whatever. Some girls actually like the effort that awkward thirsty guys put in - effort goes along way for non-ugly dudes. Meeting women is 75% showing up.

[Hazaer]

(10-22-2016 11:44 PM)jcrew247 Wrote:  

I guess it depends what the hobbies are. Most guys love to spend time playing video games, and it builds self-confidence. But it doesn't help at all with social skills or meeting women. Most men would be perfectly happy playing video games all day if they already had a wife or girlfriend.

But single guys are single because they aren't meeting any women sitting at home, and must break out of their comfort zone and do social things that seem uncomfortable. Most men are analytical thinkers but cannot communicate well in social situations and lack the experience in social settings. It takes practice and experience to get better in social settings, just like everyone is a beginner dancer in dance class or whatever. Some girls actually like the effort that awkward thirsty guys put in - effort goes along way for non-ugly dudes. Meeting women is 75% showing up.

I agree with this, especially in my situation. Social circles are thick where I am and due to the age gap, its hard to break into them. Like you said going to events or activities that are new is important to get to meet women that are not familiar to us. Clubs and societies are pretty much dead in most unis around australia so one has to take the initiative.

I find that being alert to the festivals and events happening in the city helps. It takes a lot of guts attending these things alone and trying to be social with people who might be there with friends, especially so in a small city where everyone knows everyone else. I admit that in the past, I have missed out on a lot of these waiting to arranging things with friends for company who were anti-game anyway.

I am not going to say like most new guys in this forum that I look good but like some of you here, I have gotten IOIs from women in and out of campus but not acting on it has cost me more than a few notches. Learnt the hard way that not approaching girls on campus who are showing interest will kill their attraction even if you are a good looking dude. I know its easier once you get the hang of it but it's difficult breaking out of the shell and putting you best foot forward while faking the confidence.

Just yesterday, went to a live band event supported by the uni in the city in support of mental health. Could see not many from the uni who came, there were a lot of locals though. Could see opportunities but did not know how to approach when the music was still playing. Ended up talking to an elderly women sitting by herself. All the other women were in their circles. Got IOIs from the MC but she was with her friends and she was helping in the packing up later with some of the others there who were also organizing, seemed pretty much everyone there knew each other and I can feel that when I entered the venue all the women had their eyes on me. Kind of froze. Didnt know how to open in that situation and isolate the target throughout the time I was there.

[BigL]

Guys think that if they get rejected that "thats it". No. Feel free to invite her over and if she say no, well there is always another time you bump into her. Persistence is attractive.

[jcrew247]

(10-23-2016 06:54 AM)Hazaer Wrote:  

I agree with this, especially in my situation. Social circles are thick where I am and due to the age gap, its hard to break into them. Like you said going to events or activities that are new is important to get to meet women that are not familiar to us. Clubs and societies are pretty much dead in most unis around australia so one has to take the initiative.

I find that being alert to the festivals and events happening in the city helps. It takes a lot of guts attending these things alone and trying to be social with people who might be there with friends, especially so in a small city where everyone knows everyone else. I admit that in the past, I have missed out on a lot of these waiting to arranging things with friends for company who were anti-game anyway.

I am not going to say like most new guys in this forum that I look good but like some of you here, I have gotten IOIs from women in and out of campus but not acting on it has cost me more than a few notches. Learnt the hard way that not approaching girls on campus who are showing interest will kill their attraction even if you are a good looking dude. I know its easier once you get the hang of it but it's difficult breaking out of the shell and putting you best foot forward while faking the confidence.

Just yesterday, went to a live band event supported by the uni in the city in support of mental health. Could see not many from the uni who came, there were a lot of locals though. Could see opportunities but did not know how to approach when the music was still playing. Ended up talking to an elderly women sitting by herself. All the other women were in their circles. Got IOIs from the MC but she was with her friends and she was helping in the packing up later with some of the others there who were also organizing, seemed pretty much everyone there knew each other and I can feel that when I entered the venue all the women had their eyes on me. Kind of froze. Didnt know how to open in that situation and isolate the target throughout the time I was there.

Just so you know, a girl staring at you does not necessarily mean she wants to date you. An IOI is more than just staring. Perhaps she is staring at you because you are staring at her like a serial killer?

An IOI means that after you are talking to her, she is responding flirtatiously and wants a romantic relationship. Staring without talking to a girl means absolutely nothing. Perhaps you have a unique appearance and women are staring at you cuz you look different.

Sounds like you don't know how to have a conversation with people.
How about you start with the basics of conversation:
"Hi, my name is Bill, how is your day going? Do you like this music?"
"What is your name? Where are you from? Are you here with your friends?"

[Uhondo]

Quote:

She was 35, yes older, but fresh off an engagement, fit and great body, and.... my landlord. Thought she was cute, but didn't move on it. The next few weeks I started going on dog walks with her at night, then hanging in her place, then her all over me, all the time for a year.

That was quite a bold move. What was the effect of having a sexual relationship with your landlord? What was the effect on the obvious Landlord-tenant relationship?

Quote:

We broke up because she wanted a husband and I wanted to get out of where we lived. We ended up hanging and having sex for a few years, until she got a new boyfriend.

How did it all pan out? I wonder whether her new boyfriend ended up wifing her up.

Quote:

The risk I see is not that she is psycho, its that if you end up really into her, you will have to see her all the time.

Falling for her really should be out of the question. The probable reason you had oneitis for this woman is because the affair happened before you "swallowed the pill", and 'flung yourself out into the world'. I believe the affair opened up your eyes.

Quote:

Hard to maintain distance and mystery.

I agree. The shaky bit about bangin' a neighbor is that she has 'eyes' and 'ears' all over the place. If you want to bring in other girls, you basically must sneak them in and out of the apartment, lest you arouse a lot of suspicion; Wild, noisome sex is also out of the question. You will need to be very discreet (and use props, where possible), to keep the romp as covert as possible.