[fastlane9]

Hey,

I want to share a strange story about a chick which I just can't lay - and it's driving me nuts. I never put that much "effort" into single chick without either getting rejected or banging her.

Intro

Ok so first about me, I am 21, I lift for few years already (and girls notice it), I am not prettiest guy on the planet, but I am happy with my looks (strong jaw, beard).

I am not afraid to talk to women and say whatever I want (my friends say I am asshole to girls - which I take as compliment)

Ok, so let's start with the story. Let's call her Sally.
Sally works in a club and is paid to sit by the bar, flirt with guys if necessary and get them to buy as much drinks as possible (YES, I know but bear with me - I am not an idiot).


Night #1
I stop Sally randomly in the club (not by the bar), we go out for a smoke, chat a little, go inside to dance a little, make out.
However I didn't feel any passion while kissing - might be because night was ending (like 4AM) and we were both tired.

She says she will be right back, she comes back.
After a while she excuses herself again, but doesn't come back in 5-10min so I just leave the spot.

Sounds pretty bad so far, but bear with me.
I didn't buy her any drinks, she didn't ask either.

Night #2
I visit same club 3 weeks later which is empty, I see Sally, she seems very happy to see me, we go out again, she remembers every detail about me (also name), and seems interested.

I confront her about not coming back last time we saw each other, she claims she couldn't find me. I didn't stress too much about it and just continued with the flow.

I tease her about her job and let her know I won't put up with any bullshit, and that she can leave if she is just trying to get me buy her drinks - she won't get any.

She claims she is not working this night and I challenge her with "alright, lets leave to any other place then".

She nearly runs into warderobe and is back in 1min to leave with me.

We hit another venue, but again night is ending, so we just chat and make out periodically (usually by my intent).

I am sorta "interviewing" her - she has to prove she is worth my time (ofcourse with lots of teasing) - not other way around.

She is very submissive (does whatever I tell her to) and she really opens about herself.

I kept my asshole attitude (even a little too much of it, because she was pretty insecure about herself)

I tell her to put her number into my phone and tell her I will text her during next days when I find time to go out with her.

We make out a lot - but again I don't feel any passion.

She seems interested, and even wraps my hands around her while we are driving back home.

Could've probably smashed her that night, but didn't have any place (not even a car)


At this point I am smiling as I think I have this girl completely under my control.

Texting convo #1
I text her 2 days later so I don't look too needy, she responds right away. I try to delay convo a little, so I respond once per 2-3 hours.

At first she sounds interested, but when I try to arrange a date, shit hits the fan.

I am like - "we are going out this Friday", she responds in a pretty serious tone that she doesn't have time and doesn't offer any alternative.

I respond with - "alright, I can't know when you are free. Let me know when you are free, and if I have time as well, we will grab a couple of drinks"

She doesn't respond back

Night #3

This was about 7 days after our last text.
This night was different though - I was drunk (big mistake).
I spot her, and I sorta lose it, I confront her about not texting back.

She claims she texted back and later admits she might have forgot to hit "Send" - which sounded like worst excuse possible at that time (and still does).

She even says she will text me and we will go out.

I sorta crossed the line this night (was yelling at her). She seems sad and leaves.

Later that night I see her dancing with another dude (not in sexual way though). She was working that night though - but you never know.

Texting convo #2

I text her next morning, playing dumb "did we maybe see each other yesterday?"
She responds instantly, she is obviously insulted, but she apologizes again for not texting back and says she did a mistake.

Again, I am similing and I think that fight affected on her positively (to show my boldness).

I didn't want to apologize and I say "Let's not stress about the past, tell me when you are free so we will go out"

Yes, you guessed - she didn't respond.

Question

So this is really fucking with my head. Obviously Night #3 was my biggest fuck up, but if she wasn't interested anymore, why would she respond and apologize next day?

But on other side if she was that interested, she wouldnt ignore my intial text about going out (99% that she forgot to hit "Send" is an excuse)

I just don't get it. My theory is this girl has trust issues because of her job

What do you guys think? Is there still a way to get her (would love to bang her after all that hassle) ?

[pheonix500000]

Drop your ego and NEXT

[kaotic]

She doesn't have trust issues, she's just not into you and wants a texting buddy to inflate her ego.

Eject this bitch.

[Comte De St. Germain]

Can someone move this to the newbie forum? And I concur with the previous posts.

[Rawmeo]

At some point, you need to have a "fuck this shit" moment and move on.

She isn't into you. There's nothing you can do about that. A girl is like an employee, or a stock: when it doesn't want what you want them to do, you get rid of it.

You can get the girl out of the bar, but not the bar out of the girl.

[fastlane9]

She responded after 2 days.

Says she is busy and she will let me know when she is free.

Yes I know - this doesn't look the best because if she was really into me, she would find the time immediately and most certainly wouldn't take 2 days to respond.

However what confuses me (again) is that her reply is very submissive and she sounds interested.

I am gonna be silent until she texts me shes available - if not, that's fine as well.

I am trying to learn from this experiance - can someone comment what should have I done? I guess I handled everything pretty well until the night #3.

By yelling on her I showed I care too much about us going on a date.

I still believe she has some kind of connection issues because of her job, because if she wasn't interested she would have blown me away way earlier and wouldn't bother explaining and apologizing.

[RatInTheWoods]

There comes a point when a woman shows lack of interest that you next her, because its just going to be a headfuck and a waste of time.

At that point, regardless of sunk costs, you have to hard next her.

That point for you, was when she didn't text back the first time.

NEXT

[TrifeLife]

A chick can land a long term beta orbiter for the price of a couple inital drunk makeouts and that's the direction you're headed. I don't know why you want to play that game with a girl that you don't even feel especially attracted to?

[LA Savage]

I would not call her a problematic chick. I would call your game problematic because you spent multiple days worrying about some bitch that works at a club and intentionally suckers guys to buy shit.

The fact that you are posting on this forum trying to get advice on how to win this club rat who is clearly not reciprocating attraction back to you is pathetic.

There are tons of available bitches that were DTF in that club those times you went and you choose to waste your time worrying about some bitch that already works at the club.

From day 1 you fucked up by focusing your time and energy on her rather than other girls.

My suggestion is to stop thinking about her and delete the number. Go out there and game some more bitches and stop worrying about what they may think. Start worrying about getting your logistics fixed so you don't have to waste time texting bitches when you should be fucking them.

[fastlane9]

I am used to flaking and rejection but this was way different. Sorta looked like she is the one doing push pull and I bought into it.
My problem is because I don't like losing and I went really crazy about this.

To my defense I was gaming 2 other chicks at same time.

Number and texts deleted.

[Rawmeo]

"I will let you know when I'm free" means that she just doesn't want to, and does not respect you enough to tell you the truth. She sees you as inferior and thinks that you'll just wait for her until she finally chooses to give you a chance.

Don't let her this chance. You did the right thing by nexting her.

[TheFinalEpic]

Stop using the word "problematic", you may see better results.

[heavy]

Newbie stuff. I was gonna break it down further, but really these two spots showed your true colors with her, to her.

(06-12-2016 10:14 PM)fastlane9 Wrote:  

...
I confront her about not coming back last time we saw each other, she claims she couldn't find me. I didn't stress too much about it and just continued with the flow.
Flag 1. She's into you, remembers you, and yet you're all butt-hurt and she has to be confronted by you about not coming back the second time, at 4am when you were both really tired anyway and the nasty wasn't going to happen that night. After she clearly expressed remembering you. And you're still butt hurt. (repetition for emphasis)

I tease her about her job and let her know I won't put up with any bullshit, and that she can leave if she is just trying to get me buy her drinks - she won't get any.
What bullshit would you have to put up with? Because she works for a bar? You haven't banged her, much less started a relationship with her, and you're saying you won't put up with who she is and what she does? And don't tell her she can leave your presence, show her by not being needy.
...
The rest of it screams neediness...which we've all done with the s̶p̶e̶c̶i̶a̶l̶ ̶g̶i̶r̶l̶s̶ ̶w̶e̶ ̶r̶e̶a̶l̶l̶y̶ ̶h̶i̶t̶ ̶i̶t̶ ̶o̶f̶f̶ ̶w̶i̶t̶h̶ hot babes.

One more thing, to a couple of the responses above...she may have just been looking for a friend and text buddy from the start, it may have had nothing to do with your behavior.

Even if that is true, I'm sure she has a guy she's fucking on the side and she was looking for a change, or she's just trying to keep lines in the water for the next guy (I've had this plenty of times), where she texts you in 4 months wanting to fuck.

You made it clear to her you don't want to be that guy. Move one.

I always assume a women want to fuck me under the right circumstances, because they do. Which is why I don't get butt hurt when they don't want to have sex right now...just test the boundaries, and if it's not happening, just stay on her radar.
- She has a boyfriend - but would want to have sex if not.
- She had sex last week with a Tinder guy - but if she has a 2 month drought, she's looking for a fuckable guy.
- We're with friends - but if we'd just run into each other and grabbed a quick drink alone, we'd be back at my place by now.
- She thought she picked up on a little insecurity - but if she interpreted this as emotional honesty, she'd think it was hot.
- She's on her period.
- She forgot what I looked like with my shirt off - but if it were summer and we were in swimsuits, that spark would be there again.
- etc

[fastlane9]

(06-14-2016 09:32 AM)heavy Wrote:  

Newbie stuff. I was gonna break it down further, but really these two spots showed your true colors with her, to her.

(06-12-2016 10:14 PM)fastlane9 Wrote:  

...
I confront her about not coming back last time we saw each other, she claims she couldn't find me. I didn't stress too much about it and just continued with the flow.
Flag 1. She's into you, remembers you, and yet you're all butt-hurt and she has to be confronted by you about not coming back the second time, at 4am when you were both really tired anyway and the nasty wasn't going to happen that night. After she clearly expressed remembering you. And you're still butt hurt. (repetition for emphasis)

I tease her about her job and let her know I won't put up with any bullshit, and that she can leave if she is just trying to get me buy her drinks - she won't get any.
What bullshit would you have to put up with? Because she works for a bar? You haven't banged her, much less started a relationship with her, and you're saying you won't put up with who she is and what she does? And don't tell her she can leave your presence, show her by not being needy.
...
The rest of it screams neediness...which we've all done with the s̶p̶e̶c̶i̶a̶l̶ ̶g̶i̶r̶l̶s̶ ̶w̶e̶ ̶r̶e̶a̶l̶l̶y̶ ̶h̶i̶t̶ ̶i̶t̶ ̶o̶f̶f̶ ̶w̶i̶t̶h̶ hot babes.

One more thing, to a couple of the responses above...she may have just been looking for a friend and text buddy from the start, it may have had nothing to do with your behavior.

Even if that is true, I'm sure she has a guy she's fucking on the side and she was looking for a change, or she's just trying to keep lines in the water for the next guy (I've had this plenty of times), where she texts you in 4 months wanting to fuck.

You made it clear to her you don't want to be that guy. Move one.

I always assume a women want to fuck me under the right circumstances, because they do. Which is why I don't get butt hurt when they don't want to have sex right now...just test the boundaries, and if it's not happening, just stay on her radar.
- She has a boyfriend - but would want to have sex if not.
- She had sex last week with a Tinder guy - but if she has a 2 month drought, she's looking for a fuckable guy.
- We're with friends - but if we'd just run into each other and grabbed a quick drink alone, we'd be back at my place by now.
- She thought she picked up on a little insecurity - but if she interpreted this as emotional honesty, she'd think it was hot.
- She's on her period.
- She forgot what I looked like with my shirt off - but if it were summer and we were in swimsuits, that spark would be there again.
- etc

Awesome reply, thank you - would really love if you could comment on some other stuff as well (even better if with example what could have I done better).

But I don't really understand where I came off as needy in night #2 and texting convo #1

I am the guy which has decent text game but I just hate it. First I try to build a little comfort and then just say straight up "I hate texting just sake of texting, lets grab few drinks this Friday".

We exchanged maybe 5 texts each. I highly doubt she was looking for a text buddy or a friend (her texting sucks, btw). It was pretty clear what I want and my actions were bold and confident (night #2). She was completely under my control.

Only thing I am pretty sure I messed up is, that I started makeout (not just the initial one - that might come off as needy)

My theory is, because she speaks and flirts with 10+ guys each week her shields are higher than normally.

Maybe that 1 week ignore was just shit test which I failed miserably (fuck you alcohol).

But I don't get why would she respond next day and apologize herself. And even propose a date later. I highly doubt she sees me as beta orbiter (maybe trying to get me into that)

But yeah I agree with replies above - this is disrespectful and I am not buying into this shit. She can't be that busy to not have time for a few drinks.

Oh and

1) I didn't really stress that, just mentioned that she disappeared and she didn't come back, but wasn't really butthurt

2) just let her know that I know what she does (getting drinks from guys) but teased her in playful way, not judge her or give her shit

[XXL]

To me this is classic case of "miss popular" who always all over the place, always forgets about things, can't get anything done on her own, says one thing does another, etc. Yes, that type that even if she desires a guy she can fuck it up. They're like little kids, so annoying.

That drunk yelling was quite lame but oh well she apologized not bad

Just get her out in afternoon where you can be with her one on one without people, clubs, drinks, etc.

If you need some kind of restart text to "wake her up" then I recommend..

"I knew it you're playing me like any other dude after all that's your job..". Shittest her
"read your horoscope.. interesting.. good luck anyway"
"hey!! let's meet this week at xyz place so I can take advantage of you already" [risky but surprisingly girls often find it funny]
"something reminded me of you today"

But then get her out.

[fastlane9]

(06-14-2016 04:07 PM)XXL Wrote:  

To me this is classic case of "miss popular" who always all over the place, always forgets about things, can't get anything done on her own, says one thing does another, etc. Yes, that type that even if she desires a guy she can fuck it up. They're like little kids, so annoying.

That drunk yelling was quite lame but oh well she apologized not bad

Just get her out in afternoon where you can be with her one on one without people, clubs, drinks, etc.

If you need some kind of restart text to "wake her up" then I recommend..

"I knew it you're playing me like any other dude after all that's your job..". Shittest her
"read your horoscope.. interesting.. good luck anyway"
"hey!! let's meet this week at xyz place so I can take advantage of you already" [risky but surprisingly girls often find it funny]
"something reminded me of you today"

But then get her out.

That's what I was trying to do in the first place.
Met her in a club but wanted to get her on a date asap because I can easily dominate/overpower her there. She is very submissive and "cool" in person but getting her out is a fucking pain in the ass (that's reason I posted this thread in the first place) because she works a lot (has like 3 jobs).

I am pretty sure she is still somewhat interested (maybe not as much as before, but still). She is probably just trying to overpower me by waiting on her - or maybe she thinks this is some kind of "punishment" for yelling at her. She is trying to show that she doesn't "need" me.

Or maybe she just soft nexted me (so I would stop bothering her and eventually forget about her).

Anyways she made it pretty clear she will message me when she is available so after all that restart text (from me) is a big NO. That would look betaish and needy as fuck.

[torridon747]

Unless you think you've found the love of your life and you can't possibly live without her (you didn't, believe me). Next her. That's all there is to it.

She's already fucking with your head and you're so clearly turned around you can't get your baring.

Forget about this girl. Pull some other ones. Maybe she'll see you with other women and get jealous but it's best you just forget about her.

[HectorLavoe]

@Op

These club girls have the attention spans of fruit flies, don't take it personally. She was probably into you in that moment and wanted a one night stand from you. When it didn't happen that was it. I would avoid that club for a while until you get some plates spinning and your mojo back.

[Mikan]

I wonder if she is posting on some bar-girl forum about this asshole she has been trying to juice for weeks and hasn't gotten a dime out of him.

[OCZ]

Man, the moment she didn't answer back the first time you should've abort missions. Not even worth the energy trying to get her again. Never text her again, unless she texts you and if she does it, cut the BS and ask her out if she avoids it again. You have your answer.

[LA Savage]

(06-20-2016 03:23 PM)HectorLavoe Wrote:  

@Op

These club girls have the attention spans of fruit flies, don't take it personally. She was probably into you in that moment and wanted a one night stand from you. When it didn't happen that was it. I would avoid that club for a while until you get some plates spinning and your mojo back.

I agree with everything you said except avoiding the club. Why should he not visit a hot spot filled with DTF bitches just because he gamed this club rat wrong.

He should go back the the club and game other cute bitches. Most likely the club rat who he fucked up with is going to see him with other bitches having fun and get jealous and try to get him again. Then he can make a choice whether to tell that hoe to fuck off or invite her back to his spot for a 3some with the other dtf girl he just met. You got to look on the positive aspects of situations and how to convert it to play in your favor.

(06-20-2016 04:40 PM)OCZ Wrote:  

Man, the moment she didn't answer back the first time you should've abort missions. Not even worth the energy trying to get her again. Never text her again, unless she texts you and if she does it, cut the BS and ask her out if she avoids it again. You have your answer.

Quoted and Bolded for Truth. Follow this wise mans words.

[toejam]

Some good info here.

[fastlane9]

I am going to avoid that club this week while I am on radio silence.

There are two big events this week and she is probably expecting I will be back trying to find her and talk to her - ain't gonna give that to her.

After this week I will game normally in that club. Not sure what to do if we stumble upon each - she said she will tell me when she is available and she didn't (atleast not yet), which is very disrespectful behaviour to me and I think she deserves hard ignore.

Regarding if she was DTF that night - I am not sure.
Because she mentioned she is on period today - but that might be shit test which I failed.

But yeah looking back when we were driving home, she was already going cold (as if she was mad for not fucking her).

Meh fuck that, lesson learnt. It was first time that something like that happened to me. I will escalate more aggresively next time and not relly on fucking numbers.

[LA Savage]

(06-22-2016 02:12 PM)fastlane9 Wrote:  

I am going to avoid that club this week while I am on radio silence.

There are two big events this week and she is probably expecting I will be back trying to find her and talk to her - ain't gonna give that to her.

After this week I will game normally in that club.

Bro did you not read a single thing I posted above.

Fuck that bitch and go back to that club to get some hot bitches that are DTF.

You should not give a fuck whether she is there or not. Your mission is to fuck bitches, not to care about a girl who obliviously doesn't care about you.

You said there are 2 big events happening this week then you should damn sure be there and show up with your balls attached.

I'll be damned if I let a bitch interfere with me gaming at my favorite spot to get bitches.


Let me tell you a brief story of mine. Not too long ago in Hollywood I met some bitch with some fat ass tittayz after the club let out. I gamed her up and she seemed to be dtf. But as we attempted to leave for a same night lay to go for the same night lay her cousins spotted us getting ready to cross the street and they aggressively cockblocked me while shouting at her in a condescending manner how young and stupid she was for acting like a slut by leaving with a guy she just met. So then I was like fuck it I'll hit her up later. Turns out she lives outside the city and getting her to come out is a bitch especially since she doesn't drive and I damn sure ain't spending money on her to come out. So things dry out. A few weeks later I am back in the same club dancing with some bitch with a fat ass twerking on me and I look forward and see the same bitch from before looking at me with her jaw dropped as if I cheated on her with another girl. I couldn't help but smile and laugh and then proceeded to post the video of this girl twerking on me on snapchat so she can watch how easily I replace these hoes not chase them.

Moral of the story is stop worrying about these bitches and just worry about yourself. Do what benefits you in the long run not these bitches.