[Onto]

(05-14-2016 03:23 PM)Cheetah Wrote:  

Quote:

And I also have some hard evidence. He parked in a space which is specifically marked as being reserved for our catering vans on two separate occasions. The second time, I took a picture of it.

This seems like some serious crime going on. You should send your picture as evidence to the police for immediate investigation and possible incarceration of the culprit of boss you have.

OP already took care of it. Before and after shots.

[samsamsam]

OP,

Not directing this at you. Just a general comment.

I think in this current world of me first/I am always right, we fail to see how we created the work environment we are in. I am not saying that someone you think is not an asshole, because 100 others will also agree that XYZ is an asshole. Because he is an asshole.

I am speaking about how we find ourselves in these jobs. How we act at our jobs, did we put in full effort, or just the appearance of effort. Did we take it out of desperation? Desperate energy is a bad energy. Were we desperate in trying to get out of a shit situation? Or did we choose it on our terms.

It is often said, wherever you go there you are. Meaning guys who think about another country and dream of everything being better, fail to realize who we are still goes there. That same person who created the environment in XYZ country, has a good chance creating XYZ in a different country unless he chooses to change. And therefore, sources/creates different events/possibilities.

Please don't hear this as me being righteous, I have been in some bad work situations and in looking back, I realize how I was being, who I was, what my ego was doing, didn't make the situation better. I was an equal partner in those situations going bad.

[philosophical_recovery]

(05-14-2016 04:21 PM)samsamsam Wrote:  

OP,

Not directing this at you. Just a general comment.

I think in this current world of me first/I am always right, we fail to see how we created the work environment we are in. I am not saying that someone you think is not an asshole, because 100 others will also agree that XYZ is an asshole. Because he is an asshole.

I am speaking about how we find ourselves in these jobs. How we act at our jobs, did we put in full effort, or just the appearance of effort. Did we take it out of desperation? Desperate energy is a bad energy. Were we desperate in trying to get out of a shit situation? Or did we choose it on our terms.

It is often said, wherever you go there you are. Meaning guys who think about another country and dream of everything being better, fail to realize who we are still goes there. That same person who created the environment in XYZ country, has a good chance creating XYZ in a different country unless he chooses to change. And therefore, sources/creates different events/possibilities.

Please don't hear this as me being righteous, I have been in some bad work situations and in looking back, I realize how I was being, who I was, what my ego was doing, didn't make the situation better. I was an equal partner in those situations going bad.

I'm seconding this thought.

I've had incredibly incompetent people put in charge of situations that I was far more qualified to do. I've reacted badly, each time. However, midway through the latest incident, I managed to temper my negative reaction.

The first time, I had to leave the building and go on a walk because I asked for a technical review on a subject. The person reviewing the work was unqualified yet had the "authority", didn't speak the language well, didn't understand the work, and heavily criticized me over something petty and entirely aesthetic and irrelevant to the content. However, it was all he was qualified to do. I had the violent urge to punch him right there, even though he was much taller than me and may have been able to lay a punch. (I'm just over 6' and he was closer to 6'6") I had to get up and walk.

The entire rest of that year, until I realized what was happening, I was drinking every single night, usually a whole bottle of red.

I would focus and stew on this man. I had a cadre of fellow coworkers that would express our contempt for this man. Worst, nobody with any authority believed me until they had to work with him. Then, they had their "oh shit" moment themselves and started to correct it.

What had I created?

1) a hate-filled posse that griped and bitched daily, to the point where it became unbearable to me
2) a completely dysfunctional relationship with the person immediately above me, where there was zero trust and zero way for me to right it
3) My own weight gain, negative temperament, and lack of drive to do much of anything outside of work

And this was only my immediate reaction. I realized, further back, when I was in charge of the same group, things I had done that probably resulted in the people calling the shots pushing me aside.

Do I spend a lot of time dwelling on this now, feeling guilt? Absolutely not. However, I do realize how I need to temper my emotions and my own mindset on a given day to keep the downward spiral from happening again. A full recovery was a result of me taking The Lizard of Oz's 1 year drinking wagon challenge. However, it was easy to lose that recovery with a poor mindset.

Learn everything you can about your own actions. Don't let the feelings of guilt trip you up, as you will overcompensate and try to repent. But, there is plenty of material in a given conflict, once viewed with some distance, to shed light on how you can improve your own life in the future.

[puckerman]

I have went through many emotions regarding this job. Even during the interview process before I took the job, I remember thinking about my supervisor: "This guy doesn't seem very happy." I wrestled a lot with the decision to take the job in the first place. I also took a job with an evening shift--which I realize now was a serious mistake as well. I was mad at myself for taking the job, mad at myself for ignoring red flags before I took it, and mad at myself for other reasons. The hardest thing about this job is forgiving myself for taking it in the first place.

I've spent thousands of dollars working on myself during the past year and a half. Many people have said to me that I seem happier. The ONLY person in my life who hasn't noticed any positive change in my life at all is the asshole I work for. Other people in the company seem to trust me more. In many respects, I am disappointed because I am yet again taking a job that is only about the same in pay (maybe less as I may be paying for my health insurance).

At the same time, I don't think I could have gotten a new job two years ago. I was too angry about my career. I have a very cautious optimism about my career now, but it's about as much as I've had in ten years or more.

I have tried to talk about the positives. My supervisor is a brilliant guy who would probably making a lot more money if he had actually used his degree in mechanical engineering. He's a lot like Walter White--he's a brilliant guy in his 40's who clearly isn't where he thought he would be.

Here's another case in point. Last year, another guy on my team had a sister die as a teenager. She's had cancer her whole life and was basically in the hospital for most of her life. When I learned of my teammate's sister's death, I went on-line and made a $50 donation to a research hospital in her memory. I had them send my co-worker a card in the mail. What did his supervisor (and my supervisor) do? Nothing.

Maybe it's not fair to call my current supervisor a self-absorbed, narcissistic sociopath. But I see plenty of reasons that he is.

I'm glad I'm getting out. I just wondered if I should try to help others avoid similar situations. This guy should quit trying and failing at being a manager and instead actually try to use his degree in engineering.

Perhaps my greatest disappointment is that I sincerely tried to build a friendship with this guy. I certainly told him more things about my life than I told others in the past. I now realize that I said too much.

In 2015, I took on more work and had a life event that was even more stressful than the death of my father.

[Onto]

(05-14-2016 07:26 PM)puckerman Wrote:  

I have went through many emotions regarding this job. Even during the interview process before I took the job, I remember thinking about my supervisor: "This guy doesn't seem very happy." I wrestled a lot with the decision to take the job in the first place. I also took a job with an evening shift--which I realize now was a serious mistake as well. I was mad at myself for taking the job, mad at myself for ignoring red flags before I took it, and mad at myself for other reasons. The hardest thing about this job is forgiving myself for taking it in the first place.

I haven't had a job that I've really enjoyed in almost 10 years!

If I didn't take a job because of red flags I saw beforehand I would never be able to work! And it's called work for a reason. You do it to get the money, to save and invest so you can build your ark of financial freedom.

(05-14-2016 07:26 PM)puckerman Wrote:  

Perhaps my greatest disappointment is that I sincerely tried to build a friendship with this guy. I certainly told him more things about my life than I told others in the past. I now realize that I said too much.

You have to be very careful about opening up to anyone at work. It's always best to avoid discussions about politics and religion. Don't let bosses and co-workers know too much about your life and beliefs and certainly don't let them know your a forum member here. I can only imagine how HR would handle that one.

[puckerman]

(05-14-2016 07:53 PM)Onto Wrote:  

You have to be very careful about opening up to anyone at work. It's always best to avoid discussions about politics and religion. Don't let bosses and co-workers know too much about your life and beliefs and certainly don't let them know your a forum member here. I can only imagine how HR would handle that one.

I never said anything about any of those topics. However, he does often initiate discussions about politics. I usually just shake my head.

[Cattle Rustler]

(05-14-2016 07:53 PM)Onto Wrote:  

You have to be very careful about opening up to anyone at work. It's always best to avoid discussions about politics and religion. Don't let bosses and co-workers know too much about your life and beliefs and certainly don't let them know your a forum member here. I can only imagine how HR would handle that one.

Depends, two of my superiors and a coworker know about RVF. Then again, I only shared RVF with them because they talked about topics that RVF discusses and seemed to agree with much of the stuff on here. Shit, they started reading the travel guides and planned a trip based on them.

And we party together at times, best folks to work for. And we never even talk about politics/religion, too much other stuff to do to bother with that (like alcohol and hoes).

[Deepdiver]

Never Explain - Never Complain - only thing certain in the workplace this century is change and often rapid change.

Always keep your resume up to date and on line and on LinkedIn for "business networking".

And on CareerBuilder in stealth mode - your profile is viewable but not your name and contact info and they can email you via CB mail to your private non work email.

Be Machiavellian ruthless in the management of your career. All work is at will employment unless you are a sports or movie star or a tech talent with Golden handcuff Stock Options worth millions when you vest. Otherwise you can be let go at any moment for "cause" and you can walk at any time for "cause". That means always keep your ear to the ground and when a better deal comes up TAKE IT... the majority of jobs will have you sign NDAs and even unenforceable NON Compete clauses deemed onerous in most Tech city/state courts as unreasonably restricting your ability to earn a living commensurate with your skills. I like to save up 4 weeks of vacation and then take 2 weeks twice a year thereafter - then when time to make a move take two weeks vacation to coincide with receiving my last paycheck and give notice the morning of the day I start the next opportunity fresh after two weeks off on a bangcation.

Only reason to take an exit interview is they are holding a severance check of 4 weeks or more and will only hand it to you for a signed release then hand over the check. If you do not like the size of the check or the terms of the release do not sign and sue for wrongful termination on a contingent fee basis - normally a Legal letter or two is enough to double the severance.

Never tell anyone at your current company where your new gig is and if anyone ever restricts your career progression (Refuses to pay for a reasonable certification course or exam as an employee) move on to the next opp. Some of the most competent people I know relo east to west coasts several times during a career for totally fresh starts and beyond the reach of any sour grapes regressive personalities from effing with you. Do keep a few good references who can be relied upon - typically mutual LLC owners who need you as much as you need them. Keep a profile on your own LLC on LinkedIn and never update your LI profile with next firm unless you are promoted to a position of power where no one can eff with you. Success is secrecy and secrecy is success.

If you are spinning plates KEEP PICS of YOU and THEM THE FUCK OFF of social media - it is like giving work adversaries private info about you that they can use against you as adversaries will always try to exploit your perceived weaknesses. Co-workers are you competitors for limited promotions thereby NOT your friends - keep it professional and never share personal info and above all NEVER COMPLAIN and NEVER EXPLAIN.

I have no active Facebook, Twitter or Instagram accounts etc., LinkedIn only and no mention of my Consulting Clients, just generic project descriptions under my LLC.

There is a massive market in Consulting contracting and Corporations have to pay for the best talent - reality is most careers will bounce between consulting work and the occasional plumb full time employee gig... nothing lasts forever the best bosses get better offers and the next ahole in line often is the default choice. Once great companies get merged and unless you have golden handcuffs you are an expendable resource. Make your CareerBuilder profile active and get you next better deal more pay better work more responsibility. I have one email for gigs to keep all alerts and contract or full time opps in one place.

The cost of living is so expensive in the major biz and tech centers of the USA Boston, NYC, SF Bay, Silicon Valley, LA, Washington DC, a 2 bedroom 1200 sq ft condo with a view and basic security can easily run $200 per sq ft or $2.4 Million to buy or $4k+ a month to rent... I just dropped this bomb of an argument on a 1 year contract with extensions in Manhattan... I told them I have extensive experience with priceline, hotels.com, trivago and AirBnB and Manhattan is the most expensive place to get to and stay in - in the USA - a minimum of $500 a day Acela in an out and Marriott level 3 star hotel - 4 and 5 star more than $1,000 a day on average - because there is almost never any slack time in between conventions or travel in NYC unlike Boston or even Vegas or tier 3 cities Hartford, Stamford etc etc So... I also mentioned I am paying 60% Payroll taxes and need to earn an after tax living - so they asked what I need to work in manhattan and I said $125 hr plus $65 hour per diem - they insisted they need this to be an onsite position. They called back 10 minutes later and asked what I needed for 100% remote with one trip a month to Manhattan all expenses paid (I will be staying at a 4 or 5 star hotel to avoid bedbugs).

I asked what are you offering? - 100% remote they said $85 hour 1099 all occasional travel expenses paid... not quite an NBA ballers contract but I love remote - log into email via VPN at 7AM, accept or refuse conference calls that AM or PM around your Gym Schedule - sit in on your calls... note take-aways or deliverables and due date commits - reprioritize as required - go to the Gym - come home and work deliverables... when done 7PM or so spin some plates, crash-bang, rinse, repeat. Keep Wednesdays and or Fridays open half duty for Golf or Fishing or bang away weekends.

Save more than you spend and build a portfolio - get rich and embrace your passions.

[Fortis]

(05-14-2016 11:56 PM)Deepdiver Wrote:  

snip

[Kona]

(05-13-2016 01:09 AM)puckerman Wrote:  

And I also have some hard evidence. He parked in a space which is specifically marked as being reserved for our catering vans on two separate occasions. The second time, I took a picture of it.

Good god. Hearing shit like that is why I'm so happy I work for myself.

You park in the wrong place, then some whiner takes a picture and uses it against you.

Do you even need to go to this stupid exit interview?

Will it screw with your paycheck or benefits if you don't go?

Aloha!

[Brodiaga]

(05-14-2016 11:56 PM)Deepdiver Wrote:  

I like to save up 4 weeks of vacation and then take 2 weeks twice a year thereafter - then when time to make a move take two weeks vacation to coincide with receiving my last paycheck and give notice the morning of the day I start the next opportunity fresh after two weeks off on a bangcation.

Great post, Deepdiver.

I never tried the following, but here is what some people do when they find a new job:

1. Accept an offer with the new company and agree on the start date.

2. At the old company, go on vacation starting from the start date with the new company and take all your accrued vacation days (for example, if you have 2 weeks left, take 2 weeks).

3. Start working at the new company and decide whether you want to stay there by the time your "vacation" at the old company ends. If you decide to stay, email the old company on the last day of vacation and let them know you quit. If the new boss is an asshole, or the new company is shit, just come back to the old company after vacation like nothing happened.

There are, of course, many nuances, for example, if it's a small niche/industry, people may know each other, word may get around, etc, so use this at your own risk.

[Deepdiver]

(05-15-2016 04:05 PM)Brodiaga Wrote:  

(05-14-2016 11:56 PM)Deepdiver Wrote:  

I like to save up 4 weeks of vacation and then take 2 weeks twice a year thereafter - then when time to make a move take two weeks vacation to coincide with receiving my last paycheck and give notice the morning of the day I start the next opportunity fresh after two weeks off on a bangcation.

Great post, Deepdiver.

I never tried the following, but here is what some people do when they find a new job:

1. Accept an offer with the new company and agree on the start date.

2. At the old company, go on vacation starting from the start date with the new company and take all your accrued vacation days (for example, if you have 2 weeks left, take 2 weeks).

3. Start working at the new company and decide whether you want to stay there by the time your "vacation" at the old company ends. If you decide to stay, email the old company on the last day of vacation and let them know you quit. If the new boss is an asshole, or the new company is shit, just come back to the old company after vacation like nothing happened.

There are, of course, many nuances, for example, if it's a small niche/industry, people may know each other, word may get around, etc, so use this at your own risk.

LOL Have actually done this once - requested vacation and started next job immediately but discovered I like to take a couple weeks off to recharge batteries with an all inclusive week away with one of my primary banglers. Two weeks of romantic lounging and nothing but sex 2 or 3 times a day with a favorite FWB with no cooking or cleaning tends to lock in your primary plate for a year of reliable sex, meals, housekeeping and laundry on call while you are focused working to get solid on a new job.

Only reason to take a FWB on vacation is to lock in a reliable feminine female to be your enthusiastic helpmate and sexual release while focused on a new job. Be careful of oneitis though as that can easily happen when focused on your career.

Good to come back fresh and in good spirits because unless you work for yourself no boss, manager or director is perfect... as long as your direct deposits come in on time just focus on the work and keep your eyes open always...

I always tend to focus like a laser beam on the job and deliverables for the first six months and then schedule next vacation when the Director does so no way to back stab me (Move my office or change ACLs while I am on vacation). Some organizations the politics are so bad that I would take Mondays and Fridays off during the summer rather than a 2 weeks away vacation.

Co-workers are not the people you want to party with and let know your deepest secrets... been written up here many times last thing you want to do is let anyone know at work of your Red Pill neomasculine players lifestyle lest the office SJWs and their beta blue bill provider co-workers get jealous and resentful and put a target on your back.

Success is Secrecy and Secrecy is Success

[Ensam]

Tons of great advice already. Just to put it in perspective: When was the last time you took actionable advice from a break up conversation?

That's effectively what an exit interview is. The time to let your workplace know about any problems is while you're still working there, not while you're out the door.

[samsamsam]

Keep in mind most HR people don't give a shit. They like to throw their power around (what little they have) but it is rarely in the interest of the company. They just like to drop the latest buzzwords, make questionnaires and review forms.

I mean they probably have a shitload of free time - so they have to make busy work. And think about the personality type that GENERALLY occupies these positions.

Are they really setting the world on fire?



BUT, do what gives you the peace you seek - just ask yourself why you are doing it. Meaning your motivations, is it just to piss on the guy or to really try and make a difference. As someone mentioned earlier, if you wanted to make change for the best of the company, it probably should have been done when you are there. So maybe it comes down to "he hurt my feelings and I wanna get him back." AND I promise, I am not trying to be mean to the OP. Just trying to break the problem down.

Just be comfortable with whatever happens afterwards - meaning if nothing changes at the company, you are cool with that. If sometime down the road, you seek another job, but this situation comes back to bite you. Be ok with that also.

[Vaun]

Anyone in a corporate job should read this book.

Its like red pill for corporations. I read it years ago and have had that approach to HR since then. When you realize one of the key roles of your HR team is to gather information on their employees, you will view them entirely differently from now on. And engage them on only an as needed basis, and divulge as little personal information as possible.

[Onto]

(05-14-2016 11:56 PM)Deepdiver Wrote:  

I also mentioned I am paying 60% Payroll taxes and need to earn an after tax living - so they asked what I need to work in manhattan and I said $125 hr plus $65 hour per diem - they insisted they need this to be an onsite position.

Great stuff man! I have a question. Is that per diem angle because you would be on their W-2? And the per diem part would be tax-free money to you?

I'm an S-Corp and usually just do one hourly rate and then write my travel expenses off in the s-corp tax return before passing the profits down to myself.

However, it's getting harder and harder to land S-Corp gigs. Seems like the govt is leaning on certain sectors to stop letting us techies enjoy the tax benefits all the rest of the Congressman and Lawyers get to enjoy.

[RatInTheWoods]

+1 I agree with the others DO NOT have a whiny little bitch on the way out.

Just diplomatically and earnestly say "Had a great time working here, it's a shame things couldn't work out for the better. I wish the best to my former colleagues."

[Deepdiver]

(05-15-2016 09:20 PM)Onto Wrote:  

(05-14-2016 11:56 PM)Deepdiver Wrote:  

I also mentioned I am paying 60% Payroll taxes and need to earn an after tax living - so they asked what I need to work in manhattan and I said $125 hr plus $65 hour per diem - they insisted they need this to be an onsite position.

Great stuff man! I have a question. Is that per diem angle because you would be on their W-2? And the per diem part would be tax-free money to you?

I'm an S-Corp and usually just do one hourly rate and then write my travel expenses off in the s-corp tax return before passing the profits down to myself.

However, it's getting harder and harder to land S-Corp gigs. Seems like the govt is leaning on certain sectors to stop letting us techies enjoy the tax benefits all the rest of the Congressman and Lawyers get to enjoy.

Actually the IRS does not care they get their's one way or another sooner or later...

It is really the states want their weekly workmen's comp, unemployment ins and state income taxes weekly to pay their bloated Gov salaries and pensions. 3 ways to work; W2 full deductions, 1099 Subcontractor no deductions or Corp to Corp invoice ... no 1099 no w2.

4th way is a combo if commuting more than 50 miles from home eligible for combo W2 and Per Diem expenses which being for expenses are not taxed and both the Contract Agency and you have greater cash flow/take home.

That is why I quoted $125 per hour and $65 per hour per-diem in Manhattan... most companies use the GSA schedule of allowed daily per-diem expenses by zip code and divide that number by 8 for the hourly rate...

When quoting deals or contract rates I do my own expenses calculations; Acela in and out of Manhattan one trip per week. UBER to and from the work location - three meals a day typically a breakfast sandwich or yogurt and fruit for breakfast, a salad or sandwich for lunch delivered and then a decent dinner usually for two depending upon plates spinning and work schedules. Of course Priceline, Hotel.com or Expedia and or Trivago once in a while Kayak and if long term will work a discount monthly rate deal on AirBnB - however GSA usually priced at about half of a 4 star hotel and 3rd of a 5 star with decent room service - important with work/life plate spinning balance.

Why I economize on Breakfast and Lunch so I can splurge on a few favorite plates for dinner during the week.

[Cobra]

It took me a while to get to this post. I wrote an article about keeping yourself active on ROK a while back, link in my sig.

Anyway, screw the exit interview. It won't help except give you a sounding board. You may as well talk to the mirror, a wall or your boys. It's a waste of your time but not HR. For them, it's just free ammo at your expense to use against another employee (your boss) should shit go south for them. That's it. Plain and simple. I don't care what they say it's for.

As far as your relationship with your shit boss, that's a different story. This will be a dissenting opinion but I hope you consider it. The reason your boss is a dick to you is different from the reason he's in charge. He could be the biggest asshole or the most insensitive boss. However, the fact that he's continuing his employment means he's adding some value to that company.

Keeping his behavior towards you to the side, you have to think about the above. It's a possibility that he could be a future decision maker or ally as you transition to your next role. That doesn't mean ask him for a reference. He could end up one day in a company being the peer of a decision maker that you want to get in front of to land a job. If your relationship with him remains solid, he could simply make an introduction. What I'm saying is to don't intentionally fuck up the relationship when it doesn't do you any good and as a matter of fact, could be detrimental. I would even go a step further and have an honest conversation with him, possibly over a beer. Seriously.

Samsamsam and the other poster are right. I respect the cats here that have their own business and don't deal with this. However, that being said, Corporate politics in a large company is its own animal. You have to embrace it and go with its flow, not work against it. Like one of the other posters said, it's all in the optics. The motivation that you have is just as visible as the motivation you lack.

Whether you like it or not, people are talking about you inside rooms. You just want to make sure that it's for adding value and being a good employee, while ensuring that it is visible and valued by management. This is not an easy task to accomplish. It requires less submission and more domination in the Corporate world. It requires hard work but challenge of existing assumptions. It requires staying late, but leaving when you have something important to attend to. It requires staying engaged, but learning when to fuck around. It's all about game. So chances are, you did not do this effectively. Just because your boss is a dick, doesn't give you the excuse to not do these things and fuck up, only to blame him for it all.

It's similar to a hot girl being a bitch. You players break that shield down, so why not learn to break it down in Corporate politics. It's like this. When you just get into the game initially, you blame the girl and move on to watching netflix or porn if you don't get in. Eventually, you start having patience, lower your ego and find a way to get her to come to you. The Corporate environment is no different.

[puckerman]

(05-16-2016 06:57 PM)Cobra Wrote:  

As far as your relationship with your shit boss, that's a different story. This will be a dissenting opinion but I hope you consider it. The reason your boss is a dick to you is different from the reason he's in charge. He could be the biggest asshole or the most insensitive boss. However, the fact that he's continuing his employment means he's adding some value to that company.

He has the job because he's willing to work a shit shift and has stayed on it for five years. He has admitted to me that he hates the job as well. If I said something that got him fired, I might very well be doing him a favor. They have apparently even told him that they don't want to move him to a better job because they would have trouble finding a replacement for him.

Quote:

It's all about game. So chances are, you did not do this effectively. Just because your boss is a dick, doesn't give you the excuse to not do these things and fuck up, only to blame him for it all.

I never said that I did game him effectively. I realize that I didn't game him effectively. This is also a pointless comment because it CAN'T BE CHANGED. The post is not titled: "Did I Game My Supervisor Effectively?" The post is: "What Should I Say About My Supervisor In My Exit Interview?" How about we talk about things that can be changed?

I'm already thinking a lot about game in my next job. Game is also important in learning what jobs to avoid. This job was clearly one of them.

[renotime]

I once had an exit interview with HR. They gave me a sheet with a bunch of questions on it. I wrote down my boss's name under reason for leaving. I told my coworker about it and he told me he had done the same.

Last I heard our former boss was still collecting dust there.

[Cobra]

(05-17-2016 03:30 AM)puckerman Wrote:  

(05-16-2016 06:57 PM)Cobra Wrote:  

As far as your relationship with your shit boss, that's a different story. This will be a dissenting opinion but I hope you consider it. The reason your boss is a dick to you is different from the reason he's in charge. He could be the biggest asshole or the most insensitive boss. However, the fact that he's continuing his employment means he's adding some value to that company.

He has the job because he's willing to work a shit shift and has stayed on it for five years. He has admitted to me that he hates the job as well. If I said something that got him fired, I might very well be doing him a favor. They have apparently even told him that they don't want to move him to a better job because they would have trouble finding a replacement for him.

Quote:

It's all about game. So chances are, you did not do this effectively. Just because your boss is a dick, doesn't give you the excuse to not do these things and fuck up, only to blame him for it all.

I never said that I did game him effectively. I realize that I didn't game him effectively. This is also a pointless comment because it CAN'T BE CHANGED. The post is not titled: "Did I Game My Supervisor Effectively?" The post is: "What Should I Say About My Supervisor In My Exit Interview?" How about we talk about things that can be changed?

I'm already thinking a lot about game in my next job. Game is also important in learning what jobs to avoid. This job was clearly one of them.

My intention was not to offend. I also provided some actionable advice on what you can change but more for the long term not the short term exit interview. That exit interview is just a drop in the bucket of your career.

My post was only meant to provide perspective from my own experience in a constructive manner beyond your original question. Sometimes, I ask questions on things I have limited experience with and others open up the canvas for me and show me that there are considerations beyond the question.

I get that you think my comment is pointless because I may have been abrasive and direct about it. You also noted that things cannot be changed. However, I did provide some suggestions as to how you can change the trajectory of your next role by taking the preventative measures I mentioned.

I'll tell you what. The market for people in your industry is very connected. Hiring managers talk to other managers; some do "backdoor" references. You do not want your name getting maligned. It has happened before and in my line of work I see it all the time. Every candidate has value and every time he/she interacts with someone, either that value is increased or lowered. It is not only noticed by your immediate peers and supervisors but can come back to benefit you or hurt you much later in your career. It's a market and the market always knows. Always. I can understand how hard it is to internalize this, but ignoring it is something I suggest you don't do.

I don't write these posts to be a dick, because they take time out of work and my personal life and family. My only intention is to help however I can.

[porscheguy]

Exit interviews are of no service to the exiting employee. When you give notice, the very act of doing so tells your employer that there is nothing left to be said and the relationship is over. Maintaining any dialog with the employer is counterproductive on your part, but if it were counterproductive on theirs, they would never have an exit interview. So keep that in mind. Exit interviews do more for the employer you have divested yourself from than they will ever do for you.

So what would an employer gain from having an exit interview with you? You can moan and cry throughout the whole thing, but I can assure you, they aren't going to change a fucking thing in that place because an ex-employee complained. The purpose of that interview is to build a case against you so they may defend themselves should you come back to be a problem for them at a later date. They want to know why exactly you decided to quit, so they can fight against your unemployment claim and possibly have your benefits reduced or declined. They want to know if you're quitting because the company did something for which you may be able to sue them.

Some companies may force your hand into doing an exit interview by holding severance payments hostage. That's fine. Do the interview, but remember what I said before. After you make the decision to quit, the only thing you have left to say to your employer is that you're leaving. So when they ask you why, answer in as few words as possible. Tell them some lame shit like you want to work closer to home, or anything that fulfills the minimum requirements and gets you your severance. Even if the place was a total shit show that had a negative impact on your life, keep it to yourself. People can be vindictive. If you do actually have a legit issue with the company for which you think you can sue them, talk to a legal professional who can advise you how to proceed.

[Nineteen84]

Just walk away and never think about it again.