[King of Monkeys]

I'm using this thread to keep a track record of my approaches and status with other parts of my life providing they change. I'm a hardcase newbie, and I've finally starting approaching more girls and making myself talk to everyone to bypass my social anxiety. I'm working towards becoming more social to anyone, so I can build connections. I need to watch for opportunities when they show up.

Age: 21
Weight: 120 lbs.
Height: 5' 7''
Notch Count: 0
Body Type: Scrawny Pencil
Occupations: Front Desk Assistant, Math Volunteer, Math Tutor
Hobbies (on hold. college and work eat up most of my time): Guitar, drawing, singing, reading
Gym: I've signed up for a membership and I'm going three days a week. Monday is chest, Wednesday is back, and Friday is legs.

I haven't kept track of all the approaches I'm made so far, but I'll write down the ones I do remember.

[D] = Day Approach
[N] = Night Approach

Approaches:

Breakdown: I've done most of my day approaches at my community college. I'm usually at work or class all day, so I make it a habit to meet people between breaks. I usually run indirect approach on an area where most students sit down at tables. It's a small college, so there aren't tons and tons of cute girls around which makes logistics trickier than a university. My next option would be to approach girls in the hallway, but it's a rough bet of whether they'll be rushing to class soon which makes it hard to build attraction in that amount of time. I'm thinking I might start including going to local bars at night, but my town is mostly older folk while most of the younger ladies are in the city next to me.

Before I go after phone numbers, I want to work on my game first and foremost. My goal is to get to the point where a girl will be attracted enough to ask for my phone number, and be able to maintain interesting conversation for 15+ minutes.

I also met a cool guy from one of my classes who's willing to take me out to a few bars up in Boulder to meet and hit on girls.

1. [D]: Tall brunette sitting at a table by herself. Average face but great looking legs. She has earbuds in, so I ask her if she minds if I bug her for awhile. There are a lot of students who study for exams or work on last minute assignments, so I figure it's in my best interest to make sure I'm not keeping anyone from working on import classwork. I get the conversation going. I notice she has sunglasses, so I ask to check them out and wear them. They were blue-tinted which I thought was pretty cool. We go back and forth for awhile between asking each other questions. She says she smokes weed and I tell her I don't talk to hippies and I pick up and my turn my chair away from her. She giggles. I ask about her parents and she says they're not close. She doesn't go too much into it, but mentions she leans towards agnostic while they're either Christian or Catholic. I know a few veterans from the college, so they come over and ask me some math questions. She sticks around for a bit, then says she has to go to class and leaves.

2. [D]: I'm taking an Intro to Java class. There's only one cute girl in the class, she was either asian or latina, so I ever so subtly sit next to her. I chicken out from talking to her much in the first few classes, but I manage to talk to her once. I can hear the nervousness in my voice and trail of weakly by the end of it. She apparently dropped the class when I went next time. I realize I missed a prime opportunity to suggest studying after school, but it didn't cross my mind when I was bumbling through the conversation.

3. [D]: Cute blonde who talks like she's injected marijuana directly into her cerebellum and never escaped the high. Bullshit for awhile and she talks about how much she likes dirt. Tell her there's a Red Hot Chili Peppers song perfect for her. She asks for my name at the end of the conversation. She leaves soon after.

4. [D]: I decide to attempt direct game. I hesitated initially and it lead my heart rate to spike tremendously. I walk up to a cute Indian looking girl and tell her I think she's cute and to have a good night (the sun was almost down, but I still consider this day game.). I lasted about a millisecond before straight up walking away. Another guy was watching me do it. He gives me a thumbs up, waits for me for a bit, then gives me a high five saying that was pretty awesome.

5. [D]: I'm on a stairway at my local library talking on my phone, and I see a pretty black girl. I pause my phone conversation and stop her as she's walking down and tell her I think she's cute. She gives me a "this is kind of weird what are you doing" look and keeps walking. I start to say I know it's a weird place to do it as my voice trails off. Not the best time to make a move, but I figured I'd give it a shot just in case she showed interest.

6. [D]: I'm walking past the bus stop and notice a cute girl reading a book. I'm passing her, but then I make a conscious decision to back and talk to her. Ask her what book she's reading, and she seems receptive to starting a conversation. I notice she moves to where I'm at and is imitating some of my body language. She keeps taking the conversation towards racism and black people. Shows me a video of a fat black woman being pushed around at a Trump rally and says they're all racist but admits she was probably egging on the crowd. Starts talking about a Neo-Nazi wife and husband where the husband is sterile. They go to a sperm bank and inject the white magic into her womb, but the baby comes out half-black. The husband divorces her because he doesn't want a monkey for a child. I thought about, and I'm pretty sure the wife fucked a black dude and then pushed for the sperm bank option. From what I've seen, sperm banks are thorough about which sperm goes into whom and the physical characteristics of the donor. Most likely, the whole story is bullshit. She then went on to complain about not liking rap music about big booties despite going clubbing before, being taken advantage of by two black dudes (or as she calls them "african americans") in a club, and mentions nigger at least once during the conversation. I was getting the distinct feeling she likes large black objects inside her. She also talked shit about asian women being treated as sex objects. Deciding I had enough crazy red flags, I excused myself saying I had to get lunch. Looking back, she said she had an hour until the bus arrived. I think it might've been possible to escalate, but I have not navigated crazy girls before.

7. [D]: Back at college an hour before noon. Sit down next to a moderately attractive asian milf. Conversation is dead in the water as soon as I try engage. She ain't having it and says she has to go to class soon. Her friend comes by (even hotter), looks at me then gives her a funny look, and they both leave. I can only laugh at myself and shake my head. I bombed but it wasn't as I bad as I thought it would be.

8. [D]: I talk to another cute indian-ish looking girl with an okay nose ring. I ask if she's too busy to talk, she says she can't but recognizes me from the Math help center. Shakes my hand and introduces herself. We talk for a bit, and I make a bad joke that makes zero fucking sense. I don't want to say it. It was a case of trying too hard to come up with a joke, and it did not land. Talk a bit more, then I slam the eject button and start talking with a guy sitting by himself one table over. He's a cool dude. Really into engineering. He said he's usually shy, but had an easy time talking to me. My ego boosts back up. I think talking to other people after a rejection helps me rebound faster.

[Asterion]

Keep up the good work. Day game approaches are difficult but as soon as you become confident and relaxed in you own skin and space, your success rates will skyrocket.

I like the comment about talking to other people after you bomb.... I' going to try that out

[shy]

Nice! I appreciate the work you are putting into this. I am more or less a newbie myself and you inspired me to open an CA thread myself. Keep up the good work.

[King of Monkeys]

Thank you for the support. I look forward to each of your own threads.

MB = Might Bang

[MB]: A girl I know is really into me right now. Compared to her, I'm getting the gut feeling I'm more experienced socially. The way she walks is awkward and she's got a serious case of lazy eye in her right eye. Body wise she isn't bad. She's pretty thin and in shape. Face is average. I'm thinking of passing it up because my boner test is only coming up with a lukewarm chub. I'll decide by next week when I see her next.

9. [D]: There's a couch around my campus which is an easy gateway to meeting new people. There's always been a good chance of there being only one person sitting there at a time, and I can take up enough space to keep another person from sitting next to me and potentially cockblocking me. I see a girl sitting down, so I sit there and try to get a conversation going. The vibe isn't great, and I can feel the silent tension choking on my throat. She's fairly average looks wise with a weak chin, so I'm not shaking in my boots the moment I'm sitting down. I push with comments and questions, but I can't get her to open up much. I go through interests and hobbies until I get her talking about the environment, but I'm only getting increasingly bored. After a shared moment of extended silence, I get up and said it was nice talking to her without a response back and walk off. I'm usually good with eye contact, but I notice I got more anxious with her when I thought about conveying my intent through my eyes. I'm still working on how over to be in day game with eye contact.

10. [D]: Hyped up on energy drinks. She's really top notch in terms of a cute face, and I've seen her around campus with guys trailing behind her. I suspect they're either orbiters or friends with side benefits. I'm thinking she knows how to stroke egos and get men to latch onto her. She says she's meeting up with another student from her class to study last minute. I converse but can barely get in a word edgewise. It's more obnoxious than anything, and I can't help but become way less attracted to her in the process. The study buddy shows up, so I head to the next person I see.

11. [D]: I'm getting myself in the habit of interrupting people who have earbuds in or who are working on other things. I've realized that while some people will be more focused and intent on finishing work, other people are more than open to talking to me to get away from work. I see a decent-looking asian girl sitting by herself with her laptop out and headphones on. I go over to her and tap her on the shoulder. I note how she's on the computer and if she minds if I talk to her for awhile. She's cool with it. I notice how she has her backpack in the way, so I get her to move it for me instead of moving it over myself. We talk for awhile going from classes to nightclubs in Malaysia or some other asian sounding country. She mentions her friend is a DJ, so I use it as an excuse to scoot closer to her chair so she can show me on her laptop. I found out she's on an international scholarship and lives by herself with three dogs. The article about dogs on ROK immediately pops into my mind, so I can't help but ask her which kind. They're all small dogs, but I still can't help but wonder if Skipper's been licking up some fishy tasting peanut butter. Eventually, she cuts off the conversation and says she wants to get back to work, so I bounce off.

12. [D]: Another asian girl sitting by herself on a laptop. Solid 7 with her delicious thighs showing and cleavage in my face. It becomes harder to focus on her eyes. Now that I look at them, her eyes are farther apart and I think of her as a hammerhead shark. She's pretty social and invites me to sit down herself. She's working on statistics on her laptop. She pulls out a phone and immediately tells she's not texting but doing a quick calculation. This is a nice change of pace since I've already run into quite a few girls who'll pull out a phone in the middle of a conversation. We vibe well for awhile. She has a dog so we talk about our pets and she says how she lives with her mom with a bunch of different pets. She's also got a laser pen, so I take it for myself and start shining it at people and messing around. I have fun doing it, and now I'm considering getting my own laser pen. I think this was a test, but I had no idea how to respond once I figured it might've been one. She asked me if I played any games. Considering how vague the question was, I asked her if she meant video games or anything. She said she didn't know which confused the hell out of me. Asking someone if they play games but not knowing what games screams to me she was getting at something else, but I wasn't completely sure. I try to flirt with a slight innuendo, but then she acts confused and says she doesn't get it. I attempt to force the smirk on my face to stick to stay nonreactive, but it trembles and I know I just fell flat on my face. I keep the conversation going for a bit longer, then I make a poor excuse that I gotta go and start talking to a friend who was nearby to bring my ego back up.

13. [D]: I spot a cute girl I eyed before sitting on the couch by herself. Get myself to turn around and talk to her before I just pass by without doing anything. I didn't notice she had earbuds in, but she takes them when she notices me. I can tell my anxiety shoot up when I see how cute she is up close. My adrenaline pumps in, but I hold tight and work to keep my posture relaxed. The conversation starts of rocky, and I can tell neither of us are really into it. I make a small tease about her having a bad habit and pointing to her smartphone. She laughs like she's glad I finally teased her about something, and she could laugh of some of the tension. She mentions how she's from Nepal, so I talk her up about how I didn't pick it up anywhere in her accent. I get her talking about the differences between the U.S. and Nepal. I remember how I talked to a girl about her stay in Hawaii, and how she showed me how the natives greet each other in Hawaii. I do these with the Nepal girl, and she seems pretty receptive to it. She tells me how they bow to each other in Nepal, so I stand up and get her to stand up with me so we can do it to each other. I make a joke and I bow like they do in Japan, and she laughs a little bit. She checks her phone and says her mom's here to pick her up. She asks for my name and we shake hands. She seems to hesitate for a bit like she wanted me to hang around longer, but I had work to get back to anyway, so I said see ya later. her body is also pretty bangin'. that ass don't quit in those tight fit jeans.

[godzilla]

Good luck with approaches buddy.

I was pretty fucking skinny when I was younger. But it is a little surprising your still at 120 at 21 years old. What are you eating?

[King of Monkeys]

I used to skip breakfast, but now I usually make sure I get something to eat in the morning. Breakfast is usually a bagel with cream cheese or a bagel breakfast sandwich. I've been short on time for lunch, so it's either a turkey sandwich or a chicken quesadilla. I eat dinner with my family when I get home.
I'm working on eating out less since it's costly. If you happen to know any good cookbooks or ways to cook in bulk (that way I can cook once and eat the same meal for multiple days), I'd be willing to try it out.

I haven't weighed myself in awhile, so I may have gained some weight. I got to get a scale at some point so I can know for sure.

[KevCapitalist]

Thank you for posting this, I find this format more useful than more personalized advice. Solid breakdown of what happened and why you acted as you did.

[Comte De St. Germain]

(03-13-2016 06:44 PM)King of Monkeys Wrote:  

I used to skip breakfast, but now I usually make sure I get something to eat in the morning. Breakfast is usually a bagel with cream cheese or a bagel breakfast sandwich. I've been short on time for lunch, so it's either a turkey sandwich or a chicken quesadilla. I eat dinner with my family when I get home.
I'm working on eating out less since it's costly. If you happen to know any good cookbooks or ways to cook in bulk (that way I can cook once and eat the same meal for multiple days), I'd be willing to try it out.

I haven't weighed myself in awhile, so I may have gained some weight. I got to get a scale at some point so I can know for sure.

Learn to cook eggs man. It's pretty simple to cook them en masse. Just eat about 3 a morning and you'll be good. If you're also strapped for time I would consider waking up earlier too.

As a young dude 5 hours of sleep should be enough to get by on. Just get up at 5 or 6 AM, make yourself eggs, go for a jog/hit the gym, then head out to do whatever you need to do.

[godzilla]

Listen to above. Also, when you say you have a chicken quesadilla, it makes me think you are having a hot pocket for lunch. Just eat 3 full meals a day, you'll be fine. Obviously i have no idea what you look like. I say this as someone who was like 6'1 140 in high school. I always felt I looked a little too skinny for women when. I think just filling in a bit would make a small difference; maybe in your confidence as well. Good luck man.

[Travesty]

You better be getting tree house bangs with a name like that.

[vodka.hawk]

ha ha if the lazy eye creeps you out, just tell her you have a fetish for sunglasses or just turn the lights off. anyways good shit.

[King of Monkeys]

[CO] = Conclusion

I'm working on eating breakfast in the morning and making my lunch at home whenever I can. I have more trouble staying consistent with it and making it a habit of eating full meals. Either I end up staying up late to finish assignments and sleep later so I skip breakfast, or I get an extremely small window to get food for lunch and scrounge up whatever food's closest to me.

My approaches have been more scattered for the past few weeks. I've been bombing hard or downright avoiding approaches despite having a decent amount of girls sitting by themselves in the student commons. I still find approaching stressful, and I find myself stuck between feeling bummed out because I skipped out on a potential lead or getting overly anxious because the approach didn't go well for whatever reason.

14. [D]: I see an Asian girl sitting by herself on her laptop. I acknowledge her with a nod and slight smile, and she briefly does the same back to me. I can feel my heart rate spike and the blood rush to my face. I realize I held back from getting a conversation going, and I'm scrambling to come up with an excuse to get her talking. I pull out my Physics textbook and journal and pretend to focus on it for a few minutes. I decide to ask her if I could use her laptop to look something up for a class, and she pushes it over to me. She has an accent and all the text on her laptop is in Japanese or some other noodle language, so I figure she must be an international student. I do what I can to get her talking as I check on a few assignments on the laptop, but her responses are mostly brief. I go back to my physics work for a bit longer before ejecting. I could feel the nervousness leaking out from my softened tone of voice, and I ended up choking on my words instead of spitting them out.

15. [D]: After finishing up in my physics class, I sit down at a table with a girl looking at her phone while listening to music with earbuds in her ears. She gives a quick smile and then goes back to her screen. I freeze up by thinking about how she'll react if I talk to her or tap her on the shoulder to get her attention. All I let myself do from here is stare at my backpack waiting for it to give me some advice and glancing back at the clock to gauge the amount of time I've spent with my thumb up my ass. After a few moments of inaction, I grab my backpack and head home.

(These past two approaches set the tone for the rest of the week, and I ended up skimping on approaching the following week too.)

16. [D]: I see a blonde girl with a baseball cap on her head messing with her phone. I immediately walk up to the seat next to her and decide to ramble on about my physics class. I talk about the grueling hours and the heavy content in the class. I set the bait and get her to talk a bit on her end. Shortly after, she picks up her book and starts reading. I struggled to reengage in conversations with previous girls after my train of though derailed into fiery oblivion, but my gut told me to keep going. I ask her about the book and rambled about reading dry and uninteresting books back in middle school and high school. I crack a few jokes about the book, and she chuckles. She's still holding the book open with her hands, so I think she was intent on reading it still. I take out my physics homework and work on it while she focuses on the book. She excuses herself about 5 or 10 minutes later. She says goodbye once, and then she says see you later after I wave her off. She came off timid, but her tone was warm and welcoming; she held up her side of the conversation well when she did talk. I think she was receptive to my approach, but this time she was the one who felt overly anxious and had to eject. That's what I got from the interaction anyway.

17. [D]: I see the back of a blonde girl's head. Since I can't see her face, there's a 50/50 shot she could be cute or ugly. I approach anyway and see she's looking at outfits on a tablet. I tease her by saying that it doesn't look like homework. I run out of things to say a few seconds in, and go bug a guy on a laptop further down the hallway. He seems irritated by me, but I keep talking anyway until he decides to the end the conversation abruptly with a goodbye. It seems girls are not the only ones with uptight cum-up-their-bum attitudes. Overall, this was my first time making an approach by purely teasing a girl and not starting out with a question, so I consider it a success even if the interaction didn't really go anywhere.

[CO]: While being able to approach anywhere is part of my end game, I'm starting to think it's a lot easier to find places where there are multiple targets to day game. Building momentum in the beginning is hard, but once I get into a social mood it makes talking to anyone much easier. When I've only got a couple people I can talk to who are by themselves and I have little time to approach, I tend to bullshit myself and make up reasons why I can't talk to them. I think Summer is a key turning point for me to make a more serious move into game. Building myself up in this time-frame will be key for when I start attending university in the fall of this year.

[Travesty]

Give yourself 15 seconds to reflect on any approach. Your gut will tell you what did wrong through experience. No need to ever focus any more time than that on any single approach. The best return on your time is to just skim for a slight moment and let your gut tell you what to improve. Save your energy for more approaches or improving your life.

This log is more than enough reflection. Keep yourself accountable to consistently approach is bigger than anything.

[reino341]

(04-04-2016 02:39 AM)Travesty Wrote:  

Give yourself 15 seconds to reflect on any approach. Your gut will tell you what did wrong through experience. No need to ever focus any more time than that on any single approach. The best return on your time is to just skim for a slight moment and let your gut tell you what to improve. Save your energy for more approaches or improving your life.

It's true. Usually the right move will just come to you right after or in the next few hours. Certainly no need to agonize over approaches. With experience you will also get better at recognizing situations that go bad just because daygame is random. Yesterday on my two first approaches, in the street and at the mall, the girls wouldn't even stop. This isn't something that happens very often. I didn't feel nervous or that I was conveying a bad vibe. Maybe I wasn't smiling or lacked slightly in assertiveness, but it doesn't matter. These two approaches spiked my vibe and whatever was lacking will auto-correct because I got a smile on the face after them. The fourth approach in the mall developed into an instant date.

[King of Monkeys]

@Travesty @Reino341

I appreciate the feedback, and I do see what you mean by consistency being one of the most important parts of approaching. Similarly, I find if I skip days lifting weights, I'll end up losing some progress when I make up those days the following week. It also makes it harder to get back into it when I miss days I'm supposed to lift. In order to fully get myself into the mindset of approaching, I have to make into a habit that feels completely natural to me, and being consistent with it will do just that.


[D]: It was a warm sunny day outside, so I decided to go outside and sit on a bench in my college's courtyard. I notice a cute girl studying and a few other decent-looking girls hanging around working too. At the time, I had a physics exam approaching and the courtyard is near my class, so I had a few of my classmates sit next to me and talk to me before they went into the building. I can tell time is dwindling since the test begins in less than five minutes. I talk to my current classmate hanging around what to do if you know you're supposed to do something, but keep avoiding it and he said to just do it. I get up and walk over to the cutest girl in the courtyard and tell her I thought she was cute and wanted to come over and say hi. She seems taken aback at first, but then she smiles and says she's studying for a test in a couple hours. My body immediately felt the need to retreat and seek cover behind a nearby table. I was expecting a rejection, most likely that she had a boyfriend or was seeing someone, and the last thing I had anticipated was her being so open to my approach. She offered her hand and introduced herself, and I gave her mine back in return. I had to get back to my exam since it would be starting in less than a minute, so I excused myself and headed inside. I realized later on I could have gotten her phone number and seen how willing she was to give it out, but her positive reaction caught me off guard.

[D]: I've got time after my recent class, so I start walking around the hallway. I see a girl sitting by herself, but she's in a fairly secluded area, so I initially pass up on it thinking she must be hard at work on an assignment and would not want to be bothered. I go through the hallways and don't see anyone else, so I figure I might as well give it a shot and see where it goes with the girl I passed by. I sit down one seat over and pull out a physics book and my notebook to have an excuse for sitting down. I say hello and start talking, only to realize she has earbuds in and didn't catch a word of it. I feel embarrassed, but she takes off her earbuds and asks if I said something. I recover by repeating some of what I spoke about before, and I ramble a bit about the end of the semester coming up and summer plans. We get an all right conversation going between us, but anxiety keeps growing in me as the interaction progresses. I have a harder time keeping eye contact, and I feel overly afraid about what to say next. I use my getaway excuse by saying I don't want to keep her from her assignment for too long, I brush up on my physics for a few minutes, then I grab my stuff and walk away.

[D]: I see a girl sitting by herself with a few papers strewn out in front of her. I ask her for the time, she says it, and then I say I actually thought she was cute and just wanted to say hi. My voice ended up getting softer and quieter as I said it, so it ended up lacking in punch. She said she had a boyfriend, so I said goodbye and left. I didn't think there was anything I could do to recover after she said that.

[D]: A beautiful blonde girl is sitting at a table by herself in the student commons. I walk over and set down my backpack, and open by saying how there's so many people on my campus who act coldly and don't seem to want to talk to anyone. She gives a laugh, albeit a fake-sounding one, and then talks about how she isn't like that. Although the conversation isn't off to an interesting start, I think it could pick up the more we go on. Unfortunately, one of the faculty at the college comes by and sits down and they start talking. Apparently, she was applying for an internship to an outside company, so I think she was sitting there waiting for him to show up. I was gradually pinched out of the conversation, so I left when I could tell there wasn't anything else I could do.

[D]: I catch a black-haired, pale-skinned girl by herself texting on her phone. She's cute so I sit down across from her and make a comment about people who spend time socializing on their phones too much can't hold conversations any more. I was originally planning to put her on her toes, but she shot back and asked me why I thought that. As I started my explanation, she took out a burrito right in front of me and started eating. Much to my fascination and disgust, she not only kept talking but she able to finish the burrito in less than a couple minutes. It was an impressive display of mexican food-inspired gluttony. A couple minutes later, a friend of hers shows up and it looks like she was waiting for him there. Freezing up, I'm not sure what to say as her attention is diverted towards him while he talks to a few other people at the table next to ours. I catch him talking about anime, so when he's done talking and sits down at our table I immediately change the discussion to anime so we've got common ground to work with. I'm able to chat him up for a bit, she talks to him, and then when I pull him back into our conversation I get her trying harder to be included in it. They leave five or so minutes later, and she turns around and says it was nice talking to me. The approach did not go the way I had expected it to, but I think I handled it well.



I have one week left in my semester. I'm going to be taking a programming class in the Summer to finally get my Associates degree, and I've also got a drawing and a singing class I'm taking for myself. I'm ramping up my approaches for the Summer, and my main goal is to amp up my conversational skills and reduce my approach anxiety even more.

[King of Monkeys]

I didn't approach during the Summer, but I did hangout with friends and focused on having a good time. I have a fear of being abandoned by possible friends, so I would avoid getting close to people and forming friendships. Being able to dive in and just have fun with my friends felt amazing to me. Asking a friend to hangout and them wanting to hangout with me, and getting invites to hangout was really satisfying. I've spent so many summers sitting at home staring at a computer screen, but this year I got out of the house more often and did karaoke and met some cool people. I also got $150.00 for one tutoring session. All in all, RVF has helped me start to get my life together in ways I have never done it before.

I've read a lot here about Mike Cernovich's "Gorilla Mindset," so I picked up a copy and started reading it a week ago. The self-talk and getting myself into the present moment has helped me a lot. When my mood is shaken or stirred, I can focus on my breathing or what's going on around me and it chokes out most of the anxiety.

23./24. [D]: I warmed up today at my university's campus by walking up to a few girls and telling them I thought they were cute. I didn't think about this until now, but this was the first time I've ever done direct approaches while a girl was walking. The first girl I approached was mostly to get out of my head by taking action, so I all said was I thought she was cute and went on my way. Later, I caught a girl just before she got on the phone. I was willing to push for more conversation, but I figure it was down to bad timing and wasn't sure how to handle the phone call. Waiting didn't seem like a good idea at the time, so I moved on.

25. [D]: I know it's been said that approaching a group of girls during the daytime doesn't often end well, but I figured I'd try it out anyway. As I'm walking by a group of 3 or 4 girls, I catch the one on the end. I look at what I assume is her eyes; she's got sunglasses on and it's hard to confirm where her eyes are wandering. I tell her straight up I think she's cute, start walking next to her to match her speed, shake her hand, and tell her my name. I believe I scared the shit out of this cat because she had no idea how to respond. Then her friend throws in the rejection herself and says her friend is a lesbian. I'm pretty much lost here. I tell her I don't believe that because she's too cute for that which was the only thing that popped into my head. I was mostly trying not to sound bitter or disheartened over it. It rattle me for a bit, but the mindfulness exercises helped me through it.

I also caught a great ass wearing short-short jean shorts, and decided I wanted to keep staring at it. A girl walked by and probably saw me staring and said "yuck," but I didn't care and continued to look. I didn't feel shameful about it at all for once and it felt fucking great.


Also, my weight is now up to 129 lbs.

[subterfuge]

I like the way you write - Had me giggling a few times.

Keep it up!

[King of Monkeys]

26. [D]: I had a harder time maintaining my frame of mind today, but I didn't want to completely skimp out on approaches. I saw a girl sitting by herself, so I went for an indirect conversation since I had time to mull around. I managed to do all right conversation-wise, and got her to carry part of it too by being quiet and sitting there which put pressure on her to talk. Hell, I started the conversation with an observation instead of a question which I was proud of myself for. It ended when her friend arrived. I was glad I went indirect because she looked a lot cuter farther away. Doing approaches is probably better at closer distances since there are a lot of unsavory girls who look better 30 yards away.

[Travesty]

^ Good job. I also suffer from seeing a girls profile or back side angle from afar and up close it is a waste. Not enough pretty girls in the world! Hopefully fixed inside our lifetime.

[King of Monkeys]

27. [D]: After my previous experiences, I decided to try another approach. I was walking around campus with a friend of mine during a period where there were more people in classes. This way, less people were roaming about and it meant I wouldn't have to yell to talk to someone. I saw a beautiful girl and went over to her before I passed her. I told her I thought she was cute and wanted to say hi. I must have caught her completely off guard because I noticed she wanted to smile, but she wasn't quite able to, and I think it was her nerves getting to her. Right around this point was where I usually bail due to nerves, but I managed to hold out for about five or ten more seconds. I tried to think of something to talk about, and I noticed she had an interesting eye color. Around her pupil was shiny yellow-gold, and around that was light-green color with a pale light blue around the outer rim of her eye. I made a comment about it since I had never seen someone with eyes like that before. Around here the nerves fire up and hit me like a bus hits a millenial crossing the road while staring at their smartphone. After that, I tell her goodbye and walk away.

[King of Monkeys]

28. D: This one is more brief. I was riding the bus around campus, and a hot girl got on and sat below me. The way the bus is organized, the back section is slightly higher, and the middle section is lower and has more seats. I started floundering and making up assumptions in my mind about what kind of girl she could be: stupid, probably stuck-up, or she'll give me a look of disgust and talk down to me. I had to pull myself back because I realized it was coming from a place of fear, and I was creating mental machinations to protect myself from possible bad experiences. I spoke up and asked her for directions on a particular area near campus. I wasn't sure where to take the conversation to transition it into something else, so I let it die there. I also dropped my phone on the bus, so I had to run back and get it. It was a close call.

I'm finding myself in a weird middle ground with talking to people. I've gotten much better at it, but it still feels like I'm climbing a mountain while rocks from up above come tumbling down and I gotta dodge them. There are times when I can comfortably to talk to someone, followed by bouts of nervousness where my head gets hot and an expression of fear flashes across my face with the same person. Stuttering, not knowing what to say and how to say it, thinking the other person doesn't want to listen to me, and forgetting my train of thought mid-sentence keep getting to me. Not to mention, I've been slacking off on talking to pretty girls too. It's easy to feel frustrated at myself for all of this.

[AboveAverageJoe]

Watching a millenial in college trying to get laid in 2016 is seriously eye opening.
You seem to be getting decent reception, but you are playing the beta role. You are not communicating verbally, and more important non verbally that YOU are the prize not her. You will not do well with this approach. Direct approach only works for men that exude sexuality, experience and confidence. You seem, according to you, getting good receptions but you are bombing your approaches. You need to lose your virginity to some slump busters (or cherry-poppers as the case may be) to boost your confidence. You are excuding all the things you shouldn't be. Never open an American college student with the rigors of Physics class, for one. Your misteps are apparent in every approach, once word gets out on campus gets out that you approach girls above your punching weight, and constantly get blown out or choke, you will never ever score a hot bitch.

Believe me when I tell you there is NO SUCH THING AS A PITY FUCK. You need to step up your game and your appearance, and especially your confidence or else you will be relegated to the corny, virgin, nerd, category. Get some notches that you might see as beneath you (thats the whole idea) and you will earn the confidence to start possibly scoring some bitches at the level you would like. You are travelling down a lonely road at this rate. Approaches arent everything. Approaches with the proper swag level are everything and you are not there yet.
I will not apologize for being blunt. You need to hear this from someone. Women can smell sexual inexperience the way they can a suave, smooth player. You are clearly coming across as the former.
Good Luck KOM.
Heed my words.

[King of Monkeys]

I talked to a few other members on here about it, so I'll work on building more social circles to help me out socially. I'm putting together a study group, so it should help me to connect with people more. I'll checkout some clubs or organizations too. Luckily, the campus is humongous and there are thousands of students roaming at any given time. I'd have to do more than mess up a couple of approaches to get a bad rap there. A lot of what you're saying rings true. I've mostly been aiming high because I figure if I'm going to get rejected, it might was well be by a cute girl. However, I'm also feeling pressure from my Dad to get a girlfriend; he's wary about who I date since my brother moved in with a fat chick. I don't think he understands what it's like out here in the dating market anymore.

If you've got anymore advice for me, I'd like to hear it. I'm just tired of feeling afraid. It's one of the main reasons I started doing this.

[Travesty]

^ People are going to come in here saying do X and Y blah blah blah you're doing it all wrong and so on.

You are at approach 28.

Don't even blink until you are at approach 200. If you are having trouble with being nervous and fucking up keep it indirect completely indirect unless the girl shows obvious interest.

Asking directions to a girl that is walking towards a place you know where it is already works really well because often times the girl invites you to walk along with her to the place since she is walking that direction already it turns into a mini instadate. The university gym, pool, or a restaurant/bar/cafe are good ones because it sparks all kinds of paths in conversation.

Asking about a big school event coming up that everyone knows about is another good one. Like a big football game, or concert, or festival.

Keep talking to girls you really want. Keep things simple.

28 is way too small to even reflect.

You get 15 seconds after an approach to reflect then move on.

When you get to 200 then you can sit down with a notebook and write out your strategy to improve the next 200. You'll improve automatically.

[Off The Reservation]

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