I've decided to stop "shitting where I eat", or using social proof as a part of a group in order to meet women. I've had way too much drama occur recently from dating a girl in my extended social circle who I was introduced to through mutual friends and I've decided it's less of a headache to meet complete strangers that you have no prior attachments to.
I read a lot of relationship horror stories, and I've found that the most cringe-worthy tales always begin with a guy meeting a girl through a friend/work/church/etc. One of the worst stories I ever heard was a guy who began dating the girl who lived in the apartment next to his. The relationship turned to shit, then he had to see her several times a day after they split and was tormented by it. Now maybe these guys just happened to meet their "soulmates" through these various social groups. But in my opinion they just got together out of convenience/proximity. And the reason why the relationships turned to such shit and made these guys miserable is because these guys have no game, which is evidenced in the fact that the only way they could meet girls was to shit where they eat.
Yes, I said it. If you have to rely on flirting with interns at your job and nothing else, you have no game. And how do I know this? Because when I had no game I would flirt with interns at my job and absolutely no one else. They said hello to me every morning and would get me coffee, they must want the D, right? I mean, yeah, it's their job to get me coffee. But still, they got me coffee!!!11!1!11! I would also never approach girls in bars, but if there was a girl that tagged along with us I'd be hitting on her non-stop just because it was easier to talk to her due to social proof and less scary than approaching a stranger.
The pros of using social proof in a group are many: You're preselected, so girls will be more receptive to you. If your friends are cool with you and the girl then they'll actually work to help you get together. You probably also have a lot in common knowing the same people, so that will help build comfort and rapport.
But there are also many downsides: Your friends will constantly be in your business. If things go bad between you and the girl then she can't disappear back into the ether, you'll probably see her all the time. Hell, if you date a co-worker then you'll have to see her every day after the break-up. Someone you know could begin dating said ex and you'll have to bare witness to everything. Sucks if the wounds are still fresh, too.
So I'm curious to see what you guys think about using real-life social networks to meet women as opposed to going out and approaching strangers. Do you use both methods? One over the other?
I read a lot of relationship horror stories, and I've found that the most cringe-worthy tales always begin with a guy meeting a girl through a friend/work/church/etc. One of the worst stories I ever heard was a guy who began dating the girl who lived in the apartment next to his. The relationship turned to shit, then he had to see her several times a day after they split and was tormented by it. Now maybe these guys just happened to meet their "soulmates" through these various social groups. But in my opinion they just got together out of convenience/proximity. And the reason why the relationships turned to such shit and made these guys miserable is because these guys have no game, which is evidenced in the fact that the only way they could meet girls was to shit where they eat.
Yes, I said it. If you have to rely on flirting with interns at your job and nothing else, you have no game. And how do I know this? Because when I had no game I would flirt with interns at my job and absolutely no one else. They said hello to me every morning and would get me coffee, they must want the D, right? I mean, yeah, it's their job to get me coffee. But still, they got me coffee!!!11!1!11! I would also never approach girls in bars, but if there was a girl that tagged along with us I'd be hitting on her non-stop just because it was easier to talk to her due to social proof and less scary than approaching a stranger.
The pros of using social proof in a group are many: You're preselected, so girls will be more receptive to you. If your friends are cool with you and the girl then they'll actually work to help you get together. You probably also have a lot in common knowing the same people, so that will help build comfort and rapport.
But there are also many downsides: Your friends will constantly be in your business. If things go bad between you and the girl then she can't disappear back into the ether, you'll probably see her all the time. Hell, if you date a co-worker then you'll have to see her every day after the break-up. Someone you know could begin dating said ex and you'll have to bare witness to everything. Sucks if the wounds are still fresh, too.
So I'm curious to see what you guys think about using real-life social networks to meet women as opposed to going out and approaching strangers. Do you use both methods? One over the other?