[quino_16]

Hey guys.

I have gotten into game since last summer, and since the middle of last December I have been pushing myself even more, namely approaching more and doing daygame.

Overall, I say that my progress has been well - I do not get as anxious as I did before when I approach a girl, especially during day, and I can hold a good conversation for 2-5 minutes during the day. Furthermore, I realized the importance of eye contact (which I now do instinctually) and the importance of touching, although I need more practice.

Nonetheless, I am not at the level I want to be, namely getting dates and banging girls.

Today, while I was at work, I noticed one dude was really playful with one of my coworkers (I work with a lot of girls), and the girl was very receptive towards by complimenting and touching him a lot, even though we were at work.

Afterwards, I questioned the importance of being playful around girl. I know that I am not that playful due to my personality (I scored an INTJ so I know I have steep learning curve for game). Nonetheless, I kinda know how to tease and banter a girl, but it requires a lot of work from me.

Thus, this begs the question - how important is a playful?
Should I start working on it? And how should I go about, namely what would you suggest that I should to increase my playfulness?

Thanks.

[capitalmadness]

It completely depends. Your age, her age, location, prior interactions, what else you have going for you, what you're wearing.
If you're early 20s daygaming you should incorporate plenty of playfulness but again, situation dependent. Playfulness will lower the 'creepiness' if you don't have readily demonstrable high status.
How? Do things she wouldn't expect from a guy trying to get her number. If there's music and she's watching you, start dancing with a shit eating grin, poke her for saying something stupid, move around more (without seeming nervous). Don't take her attention too seriously and just have fun being a little over the top. People like being around people who are enjoying life.

Feel your pain as a fellow INTJ its difficult but work at it.

[Fender_Bender]

(01-22-2014 11:58 PM)capitalmadness Wrote:  

It completely depends. Your age, her age, location, prior interactions, what else you have going for you, what you're wearing.
If you're early 20s daygaming you should incorporate plenty of playfulness but again, situation dependent. Playfulness will lower the 'creepiness' if you don't have readily demonstrable high status.
How? Do things she wouldn't expect from a guy trying to get her number. If there's music and she's watching you, start dancing with a shit eating grin, poke her for saying something stupid, move around more (without seeming nervous). Don't take her attention too seriously and just have fun being a little over the top. People like being around people who are enjoying life.

Feel your pain as a fellow INTJ its difficult but work at it.

Been working on this lately...it's tough when you have an analytical logical personality to switch gears completely to playful, emotional mode. Since the MBTI curtain was drawn...intp here.

Hard to cultivate it but I suppose it is all in the vibe or attitude. I have to manually calibrate it and I can't wait until it's more of a reflex.

[funkyzeit]

High energy and appearing carefree is an aphrodisiac for 18-22yo chicks. Unfortunately for me, I'm rarely like this during winter so I'm thinking of using some nootropics.

[Handsome Creepy Eel]

It's not so much that you need to be carefree and playful as much that you need to NOT be negative, bitter and jaded. Some guys I meet are just unbelievable - literally launching into tirades about "those whores" to women they have just met and are trying to game.

[augen sehen]

I think it's very important. I have changed my personality somewhat to this end and have noticed better results with a more playful and jokey personality. Sometimes I can drive away girls by being too jokey and/or joking about touchy subjects and offending the girl, but on balance it's been good to me.

I'd recommend working on developing a playful and non-serious personality, however stay the same at work for now.

[Giovonny]

Short answer: It's important if you want to attract a WIDE RANGE of women. "Playful" is the personality that will emotionally engage the highest number of women.

Long answer: It depends on your looks, social status, finances, wardrobe, vibe, and all the other factors of attraction.

Some guys don't need to be "playful" because they are handsome and popular. Girl will accept whatever personality they exhibit.

Other guys "need" to be playful because they have no other effective way to engage a woman curiosity and interest.

The more masculine power you have, the less you need to be playful.

Power > Playfulness

That said, "playful" is a good way to go through life. In my opinion..

[Bilboswaggins]

Being playful is just another tool in your toolbox. Don't look at game only from the perspective of getting laid. It will go great lengths if you view the game from a standpoint of making every girl feel a bit more feminine and valued by just making her day a bit better by your funny vibe. It's not like being playful is your only option. You have to be like water, change accordingly to the settings you're placed in. What i'm trying to say is, being playful is obviously important as this is the basis of flirting, but being analytical shouldn't make it more difficult whatsoever. Just analyze the situation and cater it to your own personal preferences.

[The Beast1]

(01-23-2014 02:40 PM)Bilboswaggins Wrote:  

Being playful is just another tool in your toolbox. Don't look at game only from the perspective of getting laid. It will go great lengths if you view the game from a standpoint of making every girl feel a bit more feminine and valued by just making her day a bit better by your funny vibe. It's not like being playful is your only option. You have to be like water, change accordingly to the settings you're placed in. What i'm trying to say is, being playful is obviously important as this is the basis of flirting, but being analytical shouldn't make it more difficult whatsoever. Just analyze the situation and cater it to your own personal preferences.

x2, be flexible. Some girls want playful. Others want serious. Calibrate accordingly.

You NTs need to hang with an ENFP sometime. If you hung with me, you'd see my demeanor change with groups of individuals. I had one ENTP friend ask me why I change my personality from person to person. It seems disingenuous (to him).

It's not, that's just me calibrating to the crowd/person I am with it's a very similar trait I do when I speak publicly.

[Stun]

The way it works is platonic, playful, flirty.

1. Start platonic, normal conversation. Establish social comfort.

2. Start teasing and finding ways to integrate humor and joking around.

3. Start showing interest and using kino to calibrate with the teasing.

Everything is about mixing interest with disinterest. If you can mix showing interest with showing disinterest well, you are flirting well.

[Bacchus]

A playful manner helps you maintain a good frame because if you're just playing around you don't need anything. I use it often, especially early on. But, it's not the best for the entire interaction. Once you have her isolated, it's time to tone down your energy to get her into bed. A playful vibe won't necessarily do that.

[Stun]

edit

[FrenchCanadian]

to be honest, fuck that happy go lucky bullshit...
be sarcastic, be witty, be clever... the playful attitude is cheesy as shit IMO.

are you trying to fuck her or make her laugh ?

[quino_16]

Thanks a lot for the replies guys.
@capitalmadness:

Yeah, my bad I forget to include some context. I am 22 year old that goes to party school on the west coast. My job is on campus, which entails that, the girl in question as well for the majority of my coworkers are college students. I am pretty sure that the girl and the dude knew before hand but this incident really made me questioned whether I should be more playful about my interactions with girls. Furthermore, one of my friends at school is really playful and easing-going, which helps get attention with girls, but I am not sure how much he is pulling exactly. Overall, I just want to construct a cost-benefit analysis, for myself, on whether I should or should not make myself more playful

As for the things you mentioned in your second paragraph, I defiantly do some of them. I am Mexican (even though I don’t look like it to your average American haha) so I am not afraid to dance and go wild on the dance floor. However, during the day while I am sober and on the street, I am a little more hesitant to dance to some random music on the street. I know my friend did it once while we were daygaming together, and, to me, it gave the impression of try hard. Nonetheless, no one there really cared but it just seemed over the top for me. Perhaps, I am wrong and it could work.

I think that poking a girl for saying something would defiantly work. Thanks for the suggestion. As for the last two lines of your post I defiantly agree. Furthermore, I feel your pain as INTJ too haha.

@Fender_Bender

I agree with everything you said, but I would also like to add that your vibe and attitude creeps through your body language. I had moments when I am feeling down and shitty where people, mostly girls, pick up on it and either ignore me or ask what is wrong.

@Handsome Creepy Eel
I totally agree with you. I remember some acquaintances and friends told me that my conversations are too negative and so forth, thus I decided to change. However, when I’m in a bad mood, generally anxious, or stress out about something, it leaks through my body language. I have to work on that.

@Augen Sehen
How were you before you made the change to being more playful? Was the transition hard?

@Giovonny

Great insight as always. It defiantly explains why fictional non-playful characters such as James Bond or Don Draper get with so many girls in their shows.

It also explains why Chris from GoodLookinLoser is good with girls even though he is not really playful with them. I know that GoodLookingLoser is somewhat questionable around here, but his pick up videos make sense to me. I like how he simultaneously builds comfort with the girl through his conversation but is subtlety being aggressive with the girl by touching her a lot. Furthermore, I like his very slow voice tone and the way how he plays himself dumb with the girls he interacts. I know that the more quiet and introvert guys here such as Athlone and MikeCF advocate to dumb yourself down with girls.

I also started to incorporate his deep vocal tone and the way he gets attention from girls by just saying hey with confidence and pausing for a second, and then engage the girl. So far I had success with this approach since the majority of the girls stop what they are doing and respond to me.

Overall, I prefer power to playfulness, which is why I really haven’t work on this aspect. However, I know that this route is not for everyone and I want to know, which particular route I should go with.

@Bilboswaggins

I mostly agree with what you wrote except for this statement “It will go great lengths if you view the game from a standpoint of making every girl feel a bit more feminine and valued by just making her day a bit better by your funny vibe.”

@frenchie

Thanks for the reminder that being flexible with people is of great importance.

@Sugar

I usually get stuck transition from stage 1 to stage 2.

@FrenchCanadian

I agree with you. However, which route of game is best suited for me?

[amity]

Bouncing this thread, as I've been experimenting with 'playfulness' lately in my interactions with girls.
Whether it's out and about, bantering with chicks in shops and cafes, to when I'm out at night, meeting girls.
I had a situation recently, I was having a Whatsapp conversation with a girl I'm testing the waters with.
We were having an enjoyable enough conversation, she was engaged in it, but not hooked, I could feel.
Then I told her I had to leave as 'had some important stuff to do', and she asked me 'What do you have to do?'
I remembered back to Roosh's 'Stop giving straight answers' point, and I thought, 'Fuck this, I'm gonna be playful for a change and see how it goes'.
I said 'I've got to feed my pet gerbil'.
BOOM!
Thus followed a hilarious (for both of us) exchange about gerbils, that he was a 'German' gerbil (accents, etc), feeding him all the wrong kinds of food, putting him on the Paleo diet, plenty of sexual innuendo, etc.
It was dynamite, she lapped it up, and the entire dynamic of the conversation changed from kind of normal, to something very memorable and flirty and fun.
Anyone else had any similar experiences, when they've amped up the playfulness?

[FunkCoup]

Yeah, have a good time, enjoy yourself. There's something to be said about always having something good/better to say. Beats being a robot.

[Beyond Borders]

Women (and people in general) like to have fun.

If you're always the life of the party, you'll never be alone (assuming you're not just a clown).

[Comte De St. Germain]

Adding onto Gio's post above. Playfulness and power can go hand in hand. Some chicks have described my looks as that of a James Bond villain, and I've kind of bought into it a bit now too(probably one of my favorite compliments that I've gotten).

Always act like you have the upper hand and playfully joke around like one of those villains. It's one of the ways to pick up on dry(sometimes dark or cynical) humor. Alternate between cheery absurdist humor(something or another about your job being a professional gerbil trainer)/what I mentioned earlier dependent on the person and you'll be able to enjoy different kinds of company.

Humor for me is like the type of booze to my cigar on when with friends or on a date. It's a way to enhance life.

[Hazaer]

(01-23-2014 05:36 PM)Bacchus Wrote:  

Once you have her isolated, it's time to tone down your energy to get her into bed. A playful vibe won't necessarily do that.

How can this be done? Should one just switch to more serious topics?

If that is so, escalating physically can be more difficult because joking around is often a better setting to break the touch barrier.

[RedPillUK]

Hmm, It's hard to explain because I think I am naturally childlike and playful. Even if I am serious on here a lot of the time, heh.

I think I tend to be playful, sexual or just kind of neutral around girls. The last one is definitely the worst way I can be I've found.

If you're serious all the time, I would think you're getting too annoyed and upset at shit at life or you have some sort of socialising problems. Either way, you're not fun to hang around with.

I don't think a playful attitude is lame at all. It means you're amused by life and all of the things in it and you're capable of being self amused. An alpha quality. It shows you have a sense of humour and intelligence, but you also don't take life too seriously and you bring positive, happy and funny energy to the room, rather than drag everyone down with doom and gloom. It shows girls that they will enjoy themselves in your world.

A bit later on, I'll switch to a quieter and more sexual vibe. I won't tell jokes very often because it messes up the mood of everything.

Then next time I have to start all over again with the fun, flirty, stupid jokes I do that both of us find amusing. For example Heartiste's ridiculous picture text flirting. Haha, that still makes me laugh thinking about the stuff I've done with that.

@Hazer and quino16 I can see why GLL doesn't go playful in his approaches, because it normally has a sexual frame from the very beginning. In that situation you're better off saving the playfulness for another time and just going for it. A playful act will just ruin the sexual vibe he created.

You don't have to change to serious topics (that's a terrible idea! better to stay playful) but just speak slower, eye contact, touching kissing. Fuck talking, complimenting a part of her body while you touch it is better or just making deep eye contact.

[Hazaer]

(02-23-2016 06:00 PM)RedPillUK Wrote:  

You don't have to change to serious topics (that's a terrible idea! better to stay playful) but just speak slower, eye contact, touching kissing. Fuck talking, complimenting a part of her body while you touch it is better or just making deep eye contact.

This is a good way for the transition to a more personal zone.

Some other people suggest that the first part of the conversation should be funny and full of jokes. The second should be more about her experiences and how she feels about things and the third should again be more light hearted but with playful touches so as to escalate at a later stage.

[OregonToSoCal]

I do my best to have a playful personality whenever I'm dealing with women. Not as a strategy to do better but rather so that I'm having fun in the process and not taking it so seriously. It's all about my own amusement.