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Need of advice and help!
#1

Need of advice and help!

Hello everyone,
First, sorry about poor english, it's not my native language.
I'm very new one and i have no experience on women at all and i am 26 yo. Actually i have no serious social and sexual experience at all. Recently( about a week ago) at work( it's very low-paid work in a laboratory) i have new female colleague( 20 and something yo). She is a chemist. Here is the part of the drama. I'm haven't her education and don't understand what she talk to me. But this is only the tip of the iceberg. She works on another places and has very big social experience. Also have 40 yo boyfrend with very well-paid job. With her 2 times we stayed alone at work to late hours to this moment. First she was very quiet for some time, but lately we start to talk to some bullshit that i don't remember now. It was a short talk. I accompanied her to her to the near bus stop and we separated. During this ecxort i we was very quiet( well, there is exchange of some words). This happens in tuesday(09 february), this week. On the next day, when she arrived, she continue to talk to me to some theme( our uncles and their lives:-) that we started yesterday. And to my surprise she very fast switched the theme from our uncles to sex! She was very chatty and i was not able to answer her every time. She talked about sex with her boyfrend, how he is a pervert and she was not very OK with this, how conservative in bed she is and how she don't understand why her boyfrend somethimes complains about how cold she is and somethimes complains about how hungry for sex is she. She also told me that she will leave her boyfrend because he is stupid and a pervert. And so on. In the moments when i was able to answer her on something, she obviously don't want always to listen to me. In these moments i felt some coldness and disinterest from her. As the talk continue, she tell me also that she likes gentle sex and don't like porn, that orgasm is not so important to her, although her boyfrend brings sometimes her to orgasms, on what she masturbates( This last one was answer of my question actually), that her granmother told her that she must manipulate the men. And so on. It was very long and exhausting(to me) talk. At one point she switched the theme on her chemistry stuff that i completely don,t understand. At some point she stop all talks and continue to doing something on her computer. And she remained quiet to the moment when our working time over. I accompanied her to her to the near bus stop in silence again(well, relative silence again, i told her that on friday i will not be on work for some time). She was not come to work on the next day(we don't have strictly fixed working time). On friday i was able to come in the laboratory at late hour. And i clearly see traces that she has been there.
In saturday and sunday(today) i stayed in my home.
So, here is my questions- what means her behaviour and the talk about sex? Is this just attention whoring? Is there some hope to fuck with her and what to do in this situation? Or is she just hope that she will be able to manipulate me to do her work and that's why she stop talking after chemistry thing( she see that i was not competent on this matter)? And is she purposely avoiding me in the next days?
I'm not sure that she even knows my name!
What to do? Please, help!
P.S. I haven't her coordinates yet, no phone number, no facebook, no anything...
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#2

Need of advice and help!

First things first. Give up on that girl. The second you start obsessing over a single girl you're not banging you're a lost cause. Now here are some things you can do to help get yourself laid.


1. Work more hours and spend less while thinking of ideas about how to best improve your financial situation.

2. If you can afford a gym membership. Get one. If not make sure to get in exercise every day.

3. Start talking too and greeting everyone you can day to day. Learn to make small talk and conversation.

4. Improve your wardrobe with whatever spare money you have.

Best of luck,

H

"Until the day when God shall deign to reveal the future to man, all human wisdom is summed up in these two words,— 'Wait and hope'."- Alexander Dumas, "The Count of Monte Cristo"

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#3

Need of advice and help!

Quote: (02-14-2016 04:15 PM)hwuzhere Wrote:  

First things first. Give up on that girl.
Why? Is there no hope and why? I,m not obsessed or something, just want to know. And why she talked about sex? And on work i will be around her everyday, and that is not very cool
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#4

Need of advice and help!

Quote: (02-14-2016 04:24 PM)linuxfannerd Wrote:  

Quote: (02-14-2016 04:15 PM)hwuzhere Wrote:  

First things first. Give up on that girl.
Why? Is there no hope and why? I,m not obsessed or something, just want to know. And why she talked about sex? And on work i will be around her everyday, and that is not very cool

1. As I've said you've lost the second you start a thread about a girl you don't know how to deal with. Better to fold and move on. Especially when you have no sexual experience. You aren't going to get anywhere with a girl you see day to day with no game experience.

2. Shitting where you eat is bad juju . Good luck when she reports you to HR for hurting her feelings.

3. You see her every day. Have you not considered what happens if you fuck up?

"Until the day when God shall deign to reveal the future to man, all human wisdom is summed up in these two words,— 'Wait and hope'."- Alexander Dumas, "The Count of Monte Cristo"

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#5

Need of advice and help!

Many thanks!
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#6

Need of advice and help!

Quote: (02-14-2016 04:24 PM)linuxfannerd Wrote:  

Quote: (02-14-2016 04:15 PM)hwuzhere Wrote:  

First things first. Give up on that girl.
Why? Is there no hope and why? I,m not obsessed or something, just want to know. And why she talked about sex?


Ultimately, you need to be in a position to be able to control the framework of the relationship with any chick, whether it is an attempt at a short-term bang or some kind of longer relationship.

Surely, there are quite a few techniques to employ to work on yourself and improving your options with chicks and having chicks in your field of options, but ultimately, guys here in this forum want to focus upon improving their own options in order that the guy can freely choose girls on his own terms and to have options or to be able to chose some other chick(s) within the parameters of the guy - rather than the girl directing the conversation and the terms of the relationship (or potential relationship).

If she is just blabbering about any conversation, then she is likely not really engaging with you nor interested in you... and she is not really considering you as a potential bang or even giving you any kind of significant input regarding your conversation or activities and you will be following her around rather than leading her.

If you end up dotting on one girl, merely because she seems interesting and provocative to you, then you have lost yourself in the process. There may be some other things that you can do besides what hwuzhere mentioned in his two above posts, but each and all of those suggestions are very good for improving your bargaining position with respect to this girl and others that you meet, working on yourself and potentially getting bangs on your own terms rather than being at some whimsical experimentation of this chick or any other chick that plays around with you.
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#7

Need of advice and help!

Well, interesting question occured in my head at this moment- is there a risk of Frendzone?
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#8

Need of advice and help!

It seems that my last question is not very easy to answer:-)
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#9

Need of advice and help!

Quote: (02-14-2016 05:26 PM)linuxfannerd Wrote:  

Well, interesting question occured in my head at this moment- is there a risk of Frendzone?



Quote: (02-14-2016 06:29 PM)linuxfannerd Wrote:  

It seems that my last question is not very easy to answer:-)




I think that we need to recognize that you are brand new to the forum, and if you want to maintain your membership without coming off as a potential troll or even as someone who may not be who "he" claims to be (as you likely realize we are all guys here, except ms. chocolate), you need to consider how your posts come off when it appears that you are asking questions that put a lot of the response burden on other members to ask the members to define various basic concepts, such as "friend zone."

Surely, you need to build up your post history and attempt to interact with other members and to understand various aspects of forum culture, and maybe you could describe a bit what you consider to be "friend zoned" based on your experiences.

I will provide a bit of my perspective, based on what you have described.

If you really are not engaging in sex with women, then it is very likely that most, if not all chicks are friend-zoning you.

If you are not working on ways to make yourself to be sexually desireable and engaging in both self-improvement and physical attempts at sexual escalation when opportunities come available, then women are likely friend zoning you.. .to the extent that they are conceptualizing any relationship with you.

So, maybe you should suggest to us, how you would consider your relationship with the chick in terms of friend zone or a potential sexual relationship?
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#10

Need of advice and help!

Quote: (02-14-2016 05:26 PM)linuxfannerd Wrote:  

Well, interesting question occured in my head at this moment- is there a risk of Frendzone?

I feel like I have to repeat myself quite a bit here so lets get it right this time.

Ignore the girl and move on. It is hopeless.

"Until the day when God shall deign to reveal the future to man, all human wisdom is summed up in these two words,— 'Wait and hope'."- Alexander Dumas, "The Count of Monte Cristo"

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#11

Need of advice and help!

I'm really new to the forum, so, well, i apologize if my forum behaviour is "troll-like" on first view:-)

Thank you all for the answers!
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#12

Need of advice and help!

Lets focus on first things first, you are 26 and with no sexual experience and more importantly no social experience (what exactly do you mean? Can you make friends?)

I would recommend you start working out, start to look for friends and hobbies where you can meet people, if you cant talk and befriend people than you wont get anywhere with women, focus on bettering your english as well.

Anyway once you get friends accept their invites to partys, bars, clubs, anywhere, this will help your social experience, allow you to meet others and hopefully land a lay.

Forget the girl at work, just talk with her, be cool, dont overthink anything, again Im not sure how good you are at talking but Im just gonna take a guess and say you have little to no chance with this girl if you are lacking in the other areas.

Read a lot of articles on Return of Kings, it will help tremendously, remember to put what you learn into practice though, dont just read it and not take action, if you read how to start approaching girls and accepting things like rejection you wont learn unless you actually do it and have the actual experience.
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#13

Need of advice and help!

Quote: (02-14-2016 08:56 PM)TheDuncan Wrote:  

Read a lot of articles on Return of Kings, it will help tremendously, remember to put what you learn into practice though, dont just read it and not take action, if you read how to start approaching girls and accepting things like rejection you wont learn unless you actually do it and have the actual experience.

Disagree with this part. The forum is a greater resource than RoK for these kinds of things. Just start looking at Giovonny's Day Game logs or any assorted wisdom from the high repped people whom post on the Game forum.

RoK is barely entry level here mate.

"Until the day when God shall deign to reveal the future to man, all human wisdom is summed up in these two words,— 'Wait and hope'."- Alexander Dumas, "The Count of Monte Cristo"

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#14

Need of advice and help!

I second the question on social experience. What do you mean by that?
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#15

Need of advice and help!

Quote: (02-14-2016 04:01 PM)linuxfannerd Wrote:  

Hello everyone,
First, sorry about poor english, it's not my native language.
I'm very new one and i have no experience on women at all and i am 26 yo. Actually i have no serious social and sexual experience at all. Recently( about a week ago) at work( it's very low-paid work in a laboratory) i have new female colleague( 20 and something yo). She is a chemist. Here is the part of the drama. I'm haven't her education and don't understand what she talk to me. But this is only the tip of the iceberg. She works on another places and has very big social experience. Also have 40 yo boyfrend with very well-paid job. With her 2 times we stayed alone at work to late hours to this moment. First she was very quiet for some time, but lately we start to talk to some bullshit that i don't remember now. It was a short talk. I accompanied her to her to the near bus stop and we separated. During this ecxort i we was very quiet( well, there is exchange of some words). This happens in tuesday(09 february), this week. On the next day, when she arrived, she continue to talk to me to some theme( our uncles and their lives:-) that we started yesterday. And to my surprise she very fast switched the theme from our uncles to sex! She was very chatty and i was not able to answer her every time. She talked about sex with her boyfrend, how he is a pervert and she was not very OK with this, how conservative in bed she is and how she don't understand why her boyfrend somethimes complains about how cold she is and somethimes complains about how hungry for sex is she. She also told me that she will leave her boyfrend because he is stupid and a pervert. And so on. In the moments when i was able to answer her on something, she obviously don't want always to listen to me. In these moments i felt some coldness and disinterest from her. As the talk continue, she tell me also that she likes gentle sex and don't like porn, that orgasm is not so important to her, although her boyfrend brings sometimes her to orgasms, on what she masturbates( This last one was answer of my question actually),

And her reply was? Just out of curiosity [Image: blush.gif], but anyway it's also important in your quest to get this girl wet and in your bed...
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#16

Need of advice and help!

Quote: (02-15-2016 04:48 AM)Going strong Wrote:  

And her reply was? Just out of curiosity [Image: blush.gif], but anyway it's also important in your quest to get this girl wet and in your bed...

Well, she tell me that at her current age she thinks about the moments when her boyfriend gives her an orgasm. And when she was a teenager, she thinks about sex with an older man. Enjoy your fap:-)
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#17

Need of advice and help!

hey Linuxfannerd

Do you know what daygame is? Do you know how to approach women. I recommend you start an approach program. There are lots of threads like that here in the newbie section. Analyse then then try doing it yourself.

One of the main themes of this forum is SELF IMPROVEMENT. What steps have you been taking so far to improve yourself as a person? Do you go to the gym? Do you wear cool clothes? Do you have a cool haircut? Is your career on the right track?
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#18

Need of advice and help!

She is using you to vent about her personal life. If she brings it up again, just respond minimally i.e.
her: "I don't understand my boyfriend, what should I do?"
you: "i dont know" or "i cant decide whats best for you"

Seek other women.
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#19

Need of advice and help!

Hey all,

Sorry to hijack this thread, I got an issue. Ive matched with a chick from Tinder about a week ago and arranged to meet up this weekend. We messaged a bit on Tinder and got her number. Left it for a few days and then messaged. Her replies are slow like next day replies but geniune replies. I am doing the same and leaving it quite late.

However, as the day approaches, I realized logistics could cost me on this meet up as shes about 1 hour drive from me and not really convenient to get to. Do you think I should book a cheap AirBNB in the next town (about 5-10 min drive) and arrange for a drink in there?
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#20

Need of advice and help!

Clothes and talking are no serious problem for me at the moment. Thanks once again for advices! Thankfully, this week has very big opportunities for avoiding her:-) So this points are complete at least for today. In addition i decide to seek for another job( the current job is a very low-paid technical support), so in the long term she will not going to be a problem anymore:-)
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#21

Need of advice and help!

There is a tinder thread and it's certainly weird you decided to post your question here. Granted you're new, there is still more appropriate places to take your question if you had just searched.
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#22

Need of advice and help!

OP,

Do not pursue this girl. She is trouble. Based on what you've said here it seems that she is trying to manipulate you. Don't take the bait. I know you're thinking "but it seems she wants to leave her boyfriend, so I would then have a chance, right?" Wrong. When a girl with a boyfriend wants to cheat on him with you, she won't mention him. What she is trying to do here is bait you into making a move. She's trying to set up a "lets you and him fight" situation which serves to inflate her ego, and her perception of herself. This is typical behavior for young chicks. Don't fall for the trap; as it would seem you have a lot to lose here (your job).

Other than that, you should cease contact with her for reason of your own mental and social development. You have far more to gain here by ignoring this girl than to keep entertaining the idea of swooping on her. Once you start ignoring this chick you will see her interest in you spike, which will do more for your long term confidence than risking your future career for some sociopathic cunt. And judging by your OP, it's a safe bet that's what she is.

"Does PUA say that I just need to get to f-close base first here and some weird chemicals will be released in her brain to make her a better person?"
-Wonitis
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#23

Need of advice and help!

Quote: (02-15-2016 12:11 PM)linuxfannerd Wrote:  

Clothes and talking are no serious problem for me at the moment. Thanks once again for advices! Thankfully, this week has very big opportunities for avoiding her:-) So this points are complete at least for today. In addition i decide to seek for another job( the current job is a very low-paid technical support), so in the long term she will not going to be a problem anymore:-)


The problem is not her (and whether she will be around to "bother" you), it is you.

This post is not meant to assert that you are defective as a person, but that you need to consider working on strategies for yourself in dealing with these kinds of situations when they are likely to come up in the future.

It is a matter of attempting to learn from your experiences, rather than just continuing to do the same thing and failing to take responsibility in the direction of the situation, which may result in many failures in order to continue to improve.

Even in this thread, you seem unwilling and reluctant to engage in any kind of meaningful way to disclose what measures you are considering for your own self improvement.

Personally, I am not really down with guys who tell you exactly what to do because I believe that you have to figure those kinds of things out for yourself and what works best for you, and in that regard, this forum should be considered as a brainstorming channel rather than merely blindly following or refusing to consider or follow.

Let's say hypothetically that there is a bit of information overload in this thread in regards to what you should do or consider because guys are telling you to change too many things, and you are not really ready, willing or able of changing (or considering to change) more than one or two things at a time...

O.k.. I understand and I accept that you may not be able to change more than a few things at a time and even if you don't really know where to start, you should at least be considering various scenarios.. rather than continuing to assert that everything is o.k. or just blanketly agreeing with the posts of other guys, without disclosing what you are doing or considering for your own self-improvement considerations.

And, actually when you take various strategies, some of those strategies are going to fail, but many times you can learn from the failures as well as the successes.

You did say that you are changing jobs.. but what does that have to do with anything that you are purposefully planning and causing for your own self improvement?
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#24

Need of advice and help!

Well, thank you, guys, for all the advises, you were all right. Now i know that she has serious problems with some kind of personality disorder, very sad, she really was a sociopathic bitch. I don't know what happens to her since then, she maybe is in the prison. The whole story was very interesting, i try to approach her with some success(it doesn't result in sex, fortunately) just out of curiosity. Then her boyfriend enters into the story. I receive two or three phone threats that he will kill me and that was all(i think he was very afraid that whole story is in my favor). But for her things maybe turn in far worse direction, because her boyfriend reveals her mails to me(yes, she text me very actively with mails for her sexual activity). From what i learned for her boyfriend(some italian guy living here, in Bulgaria), maybe she was beaten up.Recently i learn that she is alive and in troubles (as usual for her) but nothing more. So whole story was one big and some kind interesting and enlightening adventure, in summary. And kind of funny as well :-)
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#25

Need of advice and help!

I get that English isn't your native language, but can you clarify what you mean with that post? I can't really understand at least half of it.

But the long story short is that you didn't bang her and it caused lots of drama, right?

Told ya.

This thread is old...So you mean to tell me you wasted the last year and a half on this shit!?

"Does PUA say that I just need to get to f-close base first here and some weird chemicals will be released in her brain to make her a better person?"
-Wonitis
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