[hardboiled]

(02-07-2016 07:44 PM)Cobra Wrote:  

^ Please explain what you consider "natural" attraction.

Why do you think there is none?

I promise I have a point.

Girl looking at you, smiling, not smiling but showing intention, extended eye contact, alert & happy, touching you. Asking questions, trying to hold a conversation etc

Most of the girls/women I am attracted to - as in I see them and think yeah I want to fuck her are either really stand offish, obviously not at all interested, so I don't bother or they (usually) have some douchebag with them. I can count numerous times where I have been in a job, see a potential girl and then a little while later find they are with someone whom seems to have it more put together than me.

Or read the cashier example I gave - I have never experienced such a green light like that before, but what sort of flaky stuff is going on if someone can go from that sort of behavior to completely red the next day.

In the world we live in and with all this red pill movement etc is this so hard to believe?? that girls don't see me as the best they could get that day?

As I said I had two LTR's in my early 20's - highly sexual relationships where I could hold and control the frame and entertain them.

Point being that I was not stupid, I was pretty charming etc, I could obviously hold my own and i got into these relationships these because there was obvious attraction.

After this point - 2008, when my last GF cheated and moved on, there hasn't really been anything solid to go on.

[XPQ22]

(02-07-2016 07:51 PM)hardboiled Wrote:  

Most of the girls/women I am attracted to - as in I see them and think yeah I want to fuck her are either really stand offish, obviously not at all interested, so I don't bother or they (usually) have some douchebag with them. I can count numerous times where I have been in a job, see a potential girl and then a little while later find they are with someone whom seems to have it more put together than me.

Or read the cashier example I gave - I have never experienced such a green light like that before, but what sort of flaky stuff is going on if someone can go from that sort of behavior to completely red the next day.

In the world we live in and with all this red pill movement etc is this so hard to believe?? that girls don't see me as the best they could get that day?

You have too many preconceptions. For one thing, who cares what women at your job do or think? They're not your goal. Don't shit where you eat is a common theme here.

I'll give you an example. There's a coffee shop I like that I've been going to on and off for months - most of the baristas know me and are friendly because I'm not demanding and low stress on them and have interesting stories to tell (and tip from time to time.)

There's this one young woman who I've seen working there who has never been friendly to me at all, though - always gave me the cold shoulder whenever I tried to engage with her. I never did the same in return, just smiled and said thank you.

One day after months of this I'm at a table working and she goes on break, and she suddenly decides to plop down in a chair not five feet from me and starts checking her phone. I look up, smile, and start spitting some game at her (though just to practice as again, don't shit where you eat.) And to my surprise - she's totally into it. She's laughing, flipping her hair and is telling me about her life and asking me all sorts of questions. After months of giving me the brush off.

Don't judge a girl being pleasant as disinterest. Don't judge standoffishness as disinterest. It's more complex than that.

Quote:

As I said I had two LTR's in my early 20's - highly sexual relationships where I could hold and control the frame and entertain them.

Point being that I was not stupid, I was pretty charming etc, I could obviously hold my own and i got into these relationships these because there was obvious attraction.

After this point - 2008, when my last GF cheated and moved on, there hasn't really been anything solid to go on.

2008 might as well be 2008 BCE. It's dead and in the past. It's OK to think about it from time to time, but I'm saying it has no relevance to you now at 30. The world has moved on and is different, and so are you. Time to let it go and not think the "rules" you think you know are actually the rules.

If you were getting quality girls to have LTRs with you in your early 20s, I see no reason that you can't do it again, if that's what you want, even if things have been fallow for a while. I won't even tell you how long I was out of the game for various reasons and I picked it back up, it would be shocking. 30 is tops - I'd love to be 30 again. You're nowhere even near the peak yet.

Edit: because I'm in a very good mood due to betting the under on the Broncos, I'll tell you. Because of a loveless relationship and a serious illness that I eventually recovered from, I didn't have sex for 6 years. That's right, 6 motherfucking years. 2008-2014. There are no excuses. I don't want to hear them.

I'm going to meet an online dating girl in her early 20s at a bar at the hotel she's staying at in the city tomorrow afternoon. Enjoy the forum, and good luck.

[hardboiled]

(02-07-2016 10:06 PM)XPQ22 Wrote:  

You have too many preconceptions. For one thing, who cares what women at your job do or think? They're not your goal. Don't shit where you eat is a common theme here.

I'll give you an example. There's a coffee shop I like that I've been going to on and off for months - most of the baristas know me and are friendly because I'm not demanding and low stress on them and have interesting stories to tell (and tip from time to time.)

There's this one young woman who I've seen working there who has never been friendly to me at all, though - always gave me the cold shoulder whenever I tried to engage with her. I never did the same in return, just smiled and said thank you.

One day after months of this I'm at a table working and she goes on break, and she suddenly decides to plop down in a chair not five feet from me and starts checking her phone. I look up, smile, and start spitting some game at her (though just to practice as again, don't shit where you eat.) And to my surprise - she's totally into it. She's laughing, flipping her hair and is telling me about her life and asking me all sorts of questions. After months of giving me the brush off.

Don't judge a girl being pleasant as disinterest. Don't judge standoffishness as disinterest. It's more complex than that.


2008 might as well be 2008 BCE. It's dead and in the past. It's OK to think about it from time to time, but I'm saying it has no relevance to you now at 30. The world has moved on and is different, and so are you. Time to let it go and not think the "rules" you think you know are actually the rules.

If you were getting quality girls to have LTRs with you in your early 20s, I see no reason that you can't do it again, if that's what you want, even if things have been fallow for a while. I won't even tell you how long I was out of the game for various reasons and I picked it back up, it would be shocking. 30 is tops - I'd love to be 30 again. You're nowhere even near the peak yet.

Edit: because I'm in a very good mood due to betting the under on the Broncos, I'll tell you. Because of a loveless relationship and a serious illness that I eventually recovered from, I didn't have sex for 6 years. That's right, 6 motherfucking years. 2008-2014. There are no excuses. I don't want to hear them.

I'm going to meet an online dating girl in her early 20s at a bar at the hotel she's staying at in the city tomorrow afternoon. Enjoy the forum, and good luck.

I appreciate what you are saying, but the cashier was a random event for me. Over time I have been told 'good looking' and even if I am good enough to fit in with the average crowd, my general oddities and low confidence seems to always ensure my failure.

Sure, I can see how my story sounds like bullshit. Obviously in the timeline I have had of opportunity to HAVE sex, but at what quality? the overweight chick? the over the hill mother? I held/hold some standard for myself and could never face paying for it.

The main point I am making here is that all my moving around (which was a choice for growth), aspiring to be better than some drone in a safe Government job and self-improvement has not seemed to change any of my outcomes, I'm not even talking about women and I'd feel worse if I was doing it all just to get laid. I'm talking about going after a life.

But it seems moving away from the safety of the shore and all that stuff is bullshit. I am back in a city I dislike, no job and no one to talk to again.

Boo hoo, probably - So why come here?
I don't know either.

I seem to be flogging a dead horse.

What changed things for you?

[LongDongSilver]

Take some lsd and hike into a waterfall or up a scenic mountain. Your low confidence and low self esteem are self fulfilling prophecies..

You have lived with a few slags and got your dick wet before you know it's not a big deal or even much of an accomplishment. Quit stressing yourself.


You are pieces of carbon on a rock floating through space, you will be dead and dust soon, do you want to be in your 80's looking bad a youth you were too afraid to act on? Get out there and do what you want QUIT BEING A PUSSY


Edit: why don't you travel? Utilize this forum and go on an adventure, you have no idea how lucky you are. I'm stuck in the states for 6 more years on felony probation and it sucks dick, get out there and enjoy your freedom.

[TooFineAPoint]

(02-07-2016 07:16 PM)hardboiled Wrote:  

Not bothered at all by going on welfare, the system is designed for it

And that's just how the state wants you to think. Like a good cuck slave they can pay off cheaply when you are unhappy with the way things are going.

(02-07-2016 07:16 PM)hardboiled Wrote:  

I've been taxed heavily for years and paid into it

So make more money, then hire accountants and lawyers to help save and hide your cash and find loopholes around paying so much.

(02-07-2016 07:16 PM)hardboiled Wrote:  

the government has allowed cheap visas and cheap labor come in and affect the jobs in my industry.

Boo hoo. Expand your skillsets so you can't be so easily replaced by barely literate automatons.

[hardboiled]

(02-08-2016 09:02 AM)TooFineAPoint Wrote:  

(02-07-2016 07:16 PM)hardboiled Wrote:  

Not bothered at all by going on welfare, the system is designed for it

And that's just how the state wants you to think. Like a good cuck slave they can pay off cheaply when you are unhappy with the way things are going.

(02-07-2016 07:16 PM)hardboiled Wrote:  

I've been taxed heavily for years and paid into it

So make more money, then hire accountants and lawyers to help save and hide your cash and find loopholes around paying so much.

(02-07-2016 07:16 PM)hardboiled Wrote:  

the government has allowed cheap visas and cheap labor come in and affect the jobs in my industry.

Boo hoo. Expand your skillsets so you can't be so easily replaced by barely literate automatons.

All good points that I mostly agree with.

When I do have work I use it to save some cash and continue study privately in my free time. But the reality of my industry these days is that I spend more time looking for a job then the time spent in it.

And yeah I try my hardest to cuck the system that cucks me.

[hardboiled]

(02-07-2016 11:40 PM)LongDongSilver Wrote:  

Edit: why don't you travel? Utilize this forum and go on an adventure, you have no idea how lucky you are. I'm stuck in the states for 6 more years on felony probation and it sucks dick, get out there and enjoy your freedom.

MONEY - if i had it I would be, like most, on a plane.

And I am totally green to international travel, not scared, its just has been one of those things that hasn't fallen into place for me.
Basically I could never agree with just traveling for a few weeks and then come home. I'd need to go all out.

[southern120]

Some aspects of your story are eerily familiar to my own. Anyhoo - go overseas: SEA, Latin America, get some runs on the board then come back to re-assess. That is what I did - best move I ever made. Use protection though.

[southern120]

(02-07-2016 11:40 PM)LongDongSilver Wrote:  

I'm stuck in the states for 6 more years on felony probation and it sucks dick, get out there and enjoy your freedom.

Jesus fuck. Confined to the first nation of blue haired land whales?? That ought to be an 8th amendment violation.

[hardboiled]

(02-09-2016 08:18 AM)southern120 Wrote:  

Some aspects of your story are eerily familiar to my own. Anyhoo - go overseas: SEA, Latin America, get some runs on the board then come back to re-assess. That is what I did - best move I ever made. Use protection though.

Hi,

Might be worth a shot considering how long I've been trying to do things a certain way.

Did you go on a contiki or just plan your own trip?
Any specific cities in Latin America you can recommend?

[Silver_Tube]

32 here.

30-38 is a man's prime years, your mind works, your body works, your career works. 30 isn't too late to turn things around, but you have to work fast.

Lift, approach, get your resumes out there, tap everyone you know for career advancement leads. You don't have time to sit around and float in this world of books and videos and games that we like to cloud ourselves in. Progress comes a lot faster from practice than it does studying and you're short on time.

[Comte De St. Germain]

Well OP. I'm not sure who can help you out or where you're at, but from what it looks like your own view on reality is warped. The only way to get better is A. for you is to meet in person with someone or B. get out of your own rabbit hole and improve your own life.

A. isn't going to work. I've seen guys like you in the real world. Not your age, but with the same mentality. I've tried to help them but its impossible as their view of themselves is skewed.

So lets go with B. and that means everything you posted about how you are is full of shit in terms of how you perceive yourself.

Odds are:

-You dress like shit.
-You're most likely skinny with no muscle or skinny fat.
-You have no friends and are essentially mooching off your family.
-Your hair is messed up in some fundamental way.
-You're most likely an alcoholic hence why you have depression.

I could go on but this list is pointless. Your entire worldview is a farce and that's the point.

Solution: Find some new friends whom are successful, start to look around at what the guys who are getting laid do to get laid, and learn to talk to strangers as well as ask why they are laughing at you. Now get off your ass.

[southern120]

(02-09-2016 09:03 AM)hardboiled Wrote:  

(02-09-2016 08:18 AM)southern120 Wrote:  

Some aspects of your story are eerily familiar to my own. Anyhoo - go overseas: SEA, Latin America, get some runs on the board then come back to re-assess. That is what I did - best move I ever made. Use protection though.

Hi,

Might be worth a shot considering how long I've been trying to do things a certain way.

Did you go on a contiki or just plan your own trip?
Any specific cities in Latin America you can recommend?

You need to go and to forget where you came from and who you are, so go alone. Go with as little pre-planning as you can stand, the less the better. You don't exactly need to burn your ships like Cortés, but you have to have that mindset.

Havana, Santiago de Cuba. Cusco. Medillin. Mendoza. Except in Cuba avoid capitals and tiny towns. As a rule of thumb - try to get away from tourist traps but not too far off the beaten track.

Sign up for some Spanish classes before you go AND wherever you visit. Stay in hostels. Watch your back, wallet and drink. Do not get overly drunk. Stay the fuck away from drugs and anything that looks < 20.

The rest will flow like clockwork.

[Sonoma]

So P4P isn't encouraged here, but I'd encourage here in this case to get your feet off the ground.

Get your dick wet, make some dude friends, then find some girls

[hardboiled]

(02-09-2016 11:49 PM)hwuzhere Wrote:  

A. isn't going to work. I've seen guys like you in the real world. Not your age, but with the same mentality. I've tried to help them but its impossible as their view of themselves is skewed.

So lets go with B. and that means everything you posted about how you are is full of shit in terms of how you perceive yourself.

Odds are:

-You dress like shit.
-You're most likely skinny with no muscle or skinny fat.
-You have no friends and are essentially mooching off your family.
-Your hair is messed up in some fundamental way.
-You're most likely an alcoholic hence why you have depression.

I could go on but this list is pointless. Your entire worldview is a farce and that's the point.

Solution: Find some new friends whom are successful, start to look around at what the guys who are getting laid do to get laid, and learn to talk to strangers as well as ask why they are laughing at you. Now get off your ass.

To clear up your points:

I dress well, definitely above the average attire.
I work out with and without weights, enough muscle to be & look fit - eat fairly clean.
I'd say it has been harder to make/keep friends because I have been moving around a lot.
Hair is fine.
Not an alcoholic, depression is more related to my past and things that went on in my family, as is anxiety.


I can usually hold a conversation and keep a girl interested, but the obvious obstacle is that they need to be interested and as I said that hasn't occurred in a long time.

I mentioned MGTOW in my initial post because it seems like the only real logic to go for here and so many years down the track.
One can only regret and make excuses for so long...

If in all the cities i have been in (all population +300000) in countless restaurants, bars, clubs, malls, train stations, petrol stations, workplaces etc you name it, surrounded by girls/women - there has not been any tangible girl motioning towards a point of view that she is interested in me and me only, add to that equation - years, I think that really says a lot.

Fair enough, as I have grown into my looks more, rid the baby face, stood taller, and started to look and act my age of the last 2 years there has been many more indicators of interest, but seriously this does not prove much.
Most people can sense I don't have normal confidence, or maybe confidence that matches my appearance.

Eg - Walking in the mall about 30 minutes ago, pretty cute blonde thing walking my direction, she notices me, smiles/grins awkwardly but in a way that I assume says - "Whats wrong with you/wtf?" --- then looks away quickly.
Could it really be a different reaction?, maybe. But I am good with social cues and body language.