[jariel]

At this point, you know what these infrequent, special editions of Real Talk Sessions are all about, so there is no point in belaboring the intro, let's just get right to the game.

Welcome to The Third Grown Man Hour:

Basic Bitch Bullshit
Playing the game with a certain type of woman exposes men to a certain type behavior that I have coined as Basic Bitch Bullshit.

Basic bitches end up giving out their phone numbers often when they regularly go out to clubs, serial date, and engage in other activities that culminate in face to face encounters with men. Men mistakenly believe that women who fit the aforementioned scenario have a lot of options, when in fact they do not.

Most of those numbers given out to Saturday Night Players, blind/internet dates, etc. are what they call in the world of advertising, dead-end leads. Men will call, text, leave messages, and they will never hear back from those women. Ultimately, those men were never options because they were never going to be engaged. Women rationalize that particular example of basic bitch bullshit by just stating that they were doing so, "just to be nice".

That notion should be rejected immediately.

What is nice about giving your personal contact information to someone who you know that you have no interest in staying in contact with and possibly seeing again?

I mean, they know the reality while they are giving you the digits. If they were really aiming to be nice, then you would rather they be real than their definition of "nice".

Some women need that game of having "suitors" contact them incessantly because it provides them with a false sense of value. For the perseverance of their fragile egos, it is better for them to believe that they have all these thirst balls who want their sorry asses than to recognize that their sorry asses do not have what it takes to get the men who they really want.

In contrast, for anyone who has dated a model, actress, another type of female that works in the entertainment world, two things can be certain:

1. They only give out their phone numbers to people who they want to have them.

2. If they're available, they almost always answer, and if not, they will call you back.

That is especially true of models who do not want to miss out on working opportunities. When they are needed for events, there isn't a spot automatically reserved for them, if they sent in their portfolio for consideration, they might get a call, someone might leave a message, but the person calling has a number of other women to call, and they know that.

Note: Peep that paragraph again, now you understand why so many guys in cities like L.A., NYC, and Miami will front on being photographers, talent agents, producers, etc.

That rather intelligent and logical way of dealing with people makes a lot of sense to me because it's business-like. I respect it. But basic bitches prefer to play the game in a way that wastes the time of everyone involved, and it is mainly because their values are actually so low that don't have anything better to do. So while some of us are communicating with people who we see value in and want to do business with -- personal or professional -- they are busy screening calls from men who they never really wanted to talk to.

#BBB


My Third Eye On Club Game
I was 17 the first time I went to a club with some of my college buddies, and now a decade later, I see the club in an entirely different light.

Previously, through my eyes, the club was an arena for the greatest game a young person could play.

You could be in this enclosed atmosphere with a drink in hand of something that was going to make you feel like Superman, bobbin' your head to the dopest music and tryin' to contain your hard-on while watching a bunch of attractive females in full makeup, professionally-styled hair, a tight dress, and heels were dippin' and poppin' it so low to defy physics.

You want to fuck them, all of them, and some of them actually came hoping to meet that guy who had some game, who was going to make them feel comfortable about doing some shit that they knew would be classified as "slutty", but it would be cool, because everyone was drunk and having fun.

At one time, that arena existed and there were plenty of players.

Now I see the club with my third eye. The arena of opportunistic lust has changed into something different, something made up of two different teams -- you know where this is going -- one winning team, one losing team.

The men and women on the losing team at the club have two different mindsets.

The losing men still see the club as a place to get some ass. Does it still happen? Of course, but people win the lottery too, does that mean buy more tickets? The ROI at clubs at this point is incredibly low if you are just the average guy with the hope to get laid, but the fact that it does still happen, means that Saturday Night Players will still head out for the night and take that L.

The losing women are losers who are leading boring lives. For them, the club is the pinnacle of their week. It is their one night of the week to pretend that they are someone who is worth the time. It is the one night that they feel pretty. Their one night out is just about getting attention and being somewhere they can tell someone else about later. Those women aren't coming out with one other slutty homegirl who might come back to the condo to smoke a little somethin' and drink a little somethin' if you are cool enough. Nah, these women are squares; squares out with mixed groups of friends, co-workers, and in some strange cases, even relatives, so their behavior will be at-best non-descript.

For both sides, after they have had enough drinks, listened to enough songs, and shook enough ass, they will leave the club, hop into their Civics, and head back to nothing.

Fuckin' ordinary people.

Meanwhile, the winning team, well you know the winning team when you see them. They are at the club having a good time like it is not a big deal.

You will see two well-dressed dudes, who might dance a little bit, but they aren't going to sweat out those suits, with two chicks who you would put a dinner to Prime 112 on layaway for. For them, the club is not an escape from Boringville, it is merely an extension of the lives they are already leading. They have the disposable income that affords them the opportunity to eat at notable restaurants and party at trendy social venues -- the cost of doing business with those hotties you see on their arms.

At the end of the night, somewhere those guys are fucking the shit out of those chicks. Somewhere the club owners are laughing while they count up all the money the losers blew on the hopes of getting some ass. After adding some more stacks to the office safe, they will head somewhere to get the pussy they have waiting for them. Pussy they probably met that night at the club. Pussy some dude from the losing team tried to push up on after he built up enough liquid courage to put a bid in, one that was summarily rejected.


The Wounds of Life
People spend a lot of time being angry at external factors that they feel are to be blamed for certain circumstances, and while I understand, and sometimes can agree that some shit is fucked up, I can also see the bullshit in it.

If you actually listen to the tales of most people's lives, you will see that most people's wounds are self-inflicted.

Of course life is hard for the single mother who before she could take care of herself, put herself in a position where she ended up getting pregnant with the child of a man who never gave two shits about her, and now she is stuck raising their child by her lonesome on limited resources. But no one forced her to let him hit it raw, and no one forced her to give birth. So?

Of course life is hard for the person who lacks knowledge, skill, talent, education, and strong work ethic because they don't have money. Why should someone absent of all, most, or even some of those qualities be rich?
Yes we live in the richest country ever. Motherfuckers here are literally coming up with new avenues on a daily basis for themselves and others to get paid, but we are all entitled to have money, just cause?

If you want to get paid you have to bring something to the table that someone is willing to pay for, it is that simple.

At the end of the day, you chose to skip college. Maybe you attended, but you chose to major in African-American History. Maybe you had a job, but you made choices to not build on your knowledge when you had the opportunity, which would have enabled you to go out on your own or take your strengthened qualifications elsewhere for more responsibility and better pay.

Life is a series of choices. People make bad choices, and then want to blame external factors. The world is not kicking your ass. You are kicking your own ass.


The Previous Edition of The Grown Man Hour on Real Talk Sessions
Real Talk Sessions: The Second Grown Man Hour

[kaotic]

On BBB:

Basic bitches have been doing this shit for YEARS, sure they might give a number out, but they don't give a fuck. A man shouldn't spend time pursuing what likely is going to be a dead end lead. You'll KNOW when a bitch is interested, she'll send a paragraph of text, send picture, she WON'T give you single worded responses, iffy answers, and lags days on responding to you.

Next these bitches immediately, if you're really gunning for them, put them in the mass text category for next week, honestly, I wouldn't waste a fucking minute on them.

We need to "Stop Wasting Our Time" on "Loser Females" - I love being able to connect Jariel's other Real Talk Sessions.

Seriously write a goddamn book already bro !


On Club Game:

I'll be straight up, I never have bought a table at a club near me, or in Vegas, I was never about popping bottles, and trying to fuck bottle rats. In fact, I've never pulled girls from clubs, no bullshit.

My bankroll when my friends were consistently going to clubs, wasn't as high as there's back then. So I didn't play the game, I knew I couldn't afford it.

Most the times a few 30K Millionaire friends of mine, weren't pulling girls from the clubs. If I ever went, it was to hangout with my friends and have a good time. I could give a fuck about the rest.

Like Jariel said, it WASN'T apart of my lifestyle or bankroll, so I was mostly absent for clubbing. The club vibe wasn't really ever apart of my life, I'd rather go to a punk rock show and jump into the pit, or hangout at a dive bar. There was better things I could do with my time and money.

Some people can afford and do well, props to them, I just know it's a fact of life that it isn't my arena, so I don't play in it.


On The Wounds of Life:

I wholeheartedly agree that we constantly self inflict ourselves and suffer the consequences of poor decision making.

Victimization is talked alot on here about feminists - when we only need to look inward and read newbies stories to see we have some victimization going on ourselves.

Some guys might even have a sense of entitlement with game, "why didn't she fuck me?" "I did everything by the book" "fuck her" or "my game is shitty" (but doesn't want to hear constructive criticism). The classic IRT that wants white girls, and demands advice but starts having a self defeatist attitude about his own race.

Another example is the case of Gimmegrants flowing into European countries thinking they'll get a roof over their head and a welfare check every month.

Quote:

Life is a series of choices. People make bad choices, and then want to blame external factors. The world is not kicking your ass. You are kicking your own ass.

I couldn't of said it better myself, this is the simplest and succint way that people need to understand - your actions determine your mindset and life.

I used to act like the victim, like the fuck world owed me EVERYTHING. Eventually the world humbled me, not it's about having a positive attitude and focus.

If there's anything I learned in 2015 and am improving on 2016, it's the fact that it's "Time To Grow Up".

Cheers to another absolutely great post Jariel.

[Lights]

Quote:

At this point, you know what these infrequent, special editions of Real Talk Sessions are all about, so there is no point in belaboring the intro, let's just get right to the game.

Nevermind...

[General Stalin]

(01-15-2016 10:39 AM)jariel Wrote:  

My Third Eye On Club Game
I was 17 the first time I went to a club with some of my college buddies, and now a decade later, I see the club in an entirely different light.

Previously, through my eyes, the club was an arena for the greatest game a young person could play.

You could be in this enclosed atmosphere with a drink in hand of something that was going to make you feel like Superman, bobbin' your head to the dopest music and tryin' to contain your hard-on while watching a bunch of attractive females in full makeup, professionally-styled hair, a tight dress, and heels were dippin' and poppin' it so low to defy physics.

You want to fuck them, all of them, and some of them actually came hoping to meet that guy who had some game, who was going to make them feel comfortable about doing some shit that they knew would be classified as "slutty", but it would be cool, because everyone was drunk and having fun.

At one time, that arena existed and there were plenty of players.

Now I see the club with my third eye. The arena of opportunistic lust has changed into something different, something made up of two different teams -- you know where this is going -- one winning team, one losing team.

The men and women on the losing team at the club have two different mindsets.

The losing men still see the club as a place to get some ass. Does it still happen? Of course, but people win the lottery too, does that mean buy more tickets? The ROI at clubs at this point is incredibly low if you are just the average guy with the hope to get laid, but the fact that it does still happen, means that Saturday Night Players will still head out for the night and take that L.

The losing women are losers who are leading boring lives. For them, the club is the pinnacle of their week. It is their one night of the week to pretend that they are someone who is worth the time. It is the one night that they feel pretty. Their one night out is just about getting attention and being somewhere they can tell someone else about later. Those women aren't coming out with one other slutty homegirl who might come back to the condo to smoke a little somethin' and drink a little somethin' if you are cool enough. Nah, these women are squares; squares out with mixed groups of friends, co-workers, and in some strange cases, even relatives, so their behavior will be at-best non-descript.

For both sides, after they have had enough drinks, listened to enough songs, and shook enough ass, they will leave the club, hop into their Civics, and head back to nothing.

Fuckin' ordinary people.

Meanwhile, the winning team, well you know the winning team when you see them. They are at the club having a good time like it is not a big deal.

You will see two well-dressed dudes, who might dance a little bit, but they aren't going to sweat out those suits, with two chicks who you would put a dinner to Prime 112 on layaway for. For them, the club is not an escape from Boringville, it is merely an extension of the lives they are already leading. They have the disposable income that affords them the opportunity to eat at notable restaurants and party at trendy social venues -- the cost of doing business with those hotties you see on their arms.

At the end of the night, somewhere those guys are fucking the shit out of those chicks. Somewhere the club owners are laughing while they count up all the money the losers blew on the hopes of getting some ass. After adding some more stacks to the office safe, they will head somewhere to get the pussy they have waiting for them. Pussy they probably met that night at the club. Pussy some dude from the losing team tried to push up on after he built up enough liquid courage to put a bid in, one that was summarily rejected.

A lot of this has to do with perspective.

The guys who own these clubs are making money off of both the "losers" and the "winners" here. These cool cats you describe with dimes hanging off of their arms are just as guilty of wasting money on bottles and gold diggers as the losers who are wasting money trying to pick up girls - the only difference might be the bankroll. As you say, spending loot and going to all the hot spots is the "cost of doing business" with these hot birds they are rolling with. Everything you want ends up costing you something. The only losers are people who are unhappy with their lives and refuse to do anything about it.

Not to sound nihilistic, but everyone has their vices and their shortcomings. Some would argue going to "the club" in general is lame as fuck no matter how much of a winner or loser you are. I think of young major league athletes who are on top of the world rolling in young money buying up the club having the time of their lives. Within the same decade they are forced into early retirement, bankrupt, lost their house(s), car(s), and girl(s) and are going into their 30's with nothing and no career or skillset to fall back on. A few years later no one cares about them. When you put the same men side by side who becomes the loser? The washed up NFL tight end or the salesman at the Acura dealship? Rich dudes with hot women can be unhappy too.

Where do "winners" find "winner" girls? Can these smokeshows they parade around to the club cook them a good homecooked meal on the regular? Have their children and raise them well? Are they more than just a pretty face who have to be bought?

It's all about perspective. The average Joe striking out on the dancefloor may not be any more or less content with his life than Joe cool sitting up in the VIP booth.

[jariel]

(01-15-2016 02:21 PM)General Stalin Wrote:  

It's all about perspective. The average Joe striking out on the dancefloor may not be any more or less content with his life than Joe cool sitting up in the VIP booth.

I agree with your post and it's totally about perspective.

My perspective was solely on the club game as it pertains to the two sides.

The point wasn't to take a look at the big picture in life for both sides, as I think you did in your response.

It is not my assertion that one guy is a loser because he can't buy out the bar, while the other guy is a winner because he can.

I'm saying that for one guy his time spent at the club gives him a lower return on his investment.

I don't purport to be rich, I know we have some rich guys on this site, but I feel I am doing well for myself, so I don't have the poverty mindset that I see in some posts from time to time.

Guys who do have the money to do the things I was talking about, don't see what they're doing as "wasting" their money. If a guy takes out a girl he's dating to a nice spot, they have a great time, and whatever was spent, was spent, then again, he doesn't see that as a waste of money.

Remember, my point is the club is just an extension of his lifestyle, not an event that has to be budgeted for.

The waste of money is the guy who doesn't really have the money to just be cool with getting nothing out of having bought drinks, paid to get in, paid to park, used gas, etc. only to go home alone at the end of the night, no closer to the goal he set out to reach.

[~wrIghter~]

Deleted my dating apps after reading this. I need to put more focus and energy into getting my shit together and develop myself, be happy with where I'm at, before going back to that. I've wasted a lot of time complaining about situations that can't be helped because I'm not where I should be. Your content speak volumes. I'd definitely buy your book (Hank's too if he writes one) if there was one.

I've come across a lot of basic bitches in my life, I know that just saying I want a type(s) of chick, or a type of lifestyle, I'd have to be about the action of taking the necessary steps towards getting what I want. wrIghter will not depend on basic bitches to make him happy. I know to be on top of your game in life, that shit requires discipline, patience, and an ambitious attitude...

Anyways, always appreciate the great content.

[coverdoc]

As always, thanks for this at a time when many of us need to read some deep reflective stuff for the week. My question is when should the line be drawn? When should you just say i'm dealing with a basic bitch vs some chick who is playing hard to get?

-CD

[OneEyedMonk]

The "Club" is a fantasy, a fiction, an escape, an illusion, a crutch where both parties are participating in a fake play, which is why so many here find it unappealing.

1. Men use alcohol to fake Confidence
2. Women use cosmetics and dressing to fake Beauty

You essentially have two potentially contracting parties trying to con and out-con each other using temporary, manufactured status and SMV.

Ultimately, as always, nobody and nothing can escape the gravitational force of reality.

[DVY]

Yea but what if you truly enjoy nightlife and it's the easiest way for you to pull hot girls...

What if you are aspiring to get a shot to improve your social skills or just hang out w friends....

All in all, I'd be wary of talking a whole scene down. I just got finished a club tour of Taipei which was amazing and I totally feel recharged. I spent essentially what is bottle $ on drinks every night and eating out solo.

I met tons of hot girls from all over the world. Many who bought their own drinks and only allowed me to buy them drinks on my full insistence.

Shades of gray

There truly is no better place than the club to get a gripe of hotties dressed to the 9s who feel sexy which makes me feel alive.

All in all, I agree w your sentiment but it's important not to fool ourselves. The club performs a vital role in people's lives to meet new ppl, drink and have fun.

Do some people have unrealistic expectations? Sure
I view the same like gambling... Go for it if you like it but be fully aware of what you are getting into.

My worry is that a new breed of young guys will never put that work to get good at club game if they just have this sentiment of "fk the clubs, bottles and bottle rats".

My belief is that everybody should push boundaries personal and interpersonal to see what works for them. Make mistakes, live, breathe and grow

J isn't wrong and I am not right. I believe the right balance is somewhere in between.

[Moma]

I also think that it depends where you are in the world. Jariel may be jaded by the club scene because he's in one of the most superficial cities in America and maybe the world. Go to a club in Idaho or Ohio and one may have more fun..who knows. I think we have to be honest with ourselves at times and take into account where we are in life and our present location and throw out that disclaimer.

I felt clubs in Miami weren't really my thing unless I was hollaring at tourists. The average local for me was looking for that top boy and my personal situation was at a total dead spot where I couldn't even leverage enough to fake it. I knew some doormen at a club..I can't remember if it was club live..but we got in with our own bottles etc. We had VIP access so we drinking in the presence of ballers and lizards who were able to sneak in, also hoping to snare a famous piece of dick.

I started spitting at lizards in there but pretty much all of them were looking for paper or a baller. I'm not a baller and I can't make you (or don't want to) make you believe I'm a baller. Either way, I thought that experience was a glorified dick tease. Regardless, I don't know if I can rule out clubs based on that.

Perhaps, however, Miami is the blueprint or the direction that all clubs are taking in North America.

[DVY]

@Moma- I agree with you about this - "I felt clubs in Miami weren't really my thing unless I was hollaring at tourists."

BUT where the F are you going to met aged 21-26 tourists otherwise? Or how about the student visa foreign girls?

I see the club as a necessary evil.

Almost 90%+ of my pulls are from the club. Very few are american girls. 99% of top-tier girl I've pulled is from the club.

I am in LA aka capital of fake (besides Miami perhaps).

I just don't have the time (also loss of income) to day-game or do tinder really.

I am only chiming to say that their is a flip to every coin, and that life is a struggle. Just because it isn't easy to accomplish one's goals that one shouldn't aspire try. That is a defeatist attitude.

On a side note, I've gathered mad rich contacts all over the world that I can land in almost any city (RVF partying is a bonding thing too) and be dialed in. This is in big part to becoming good at club game and helping those who aren't as much (some ultra wealthy cat who have $ but have trouble bonding w/people they don't know)

OR meeting people who just outclass me and befriending them. I've never met Distant Light but he has the same positive attitude and vibe about it. One of my best friends here in LA I met when clubbing but we really clicked when we linked later and started swooping mad girls out of clubs/restaurants and high-end lounges.

All I am saying is that first be realistic and open-minded. The club experience is what you make of it but the last thing it is a brothel. Its a place to let loose, have fun, and meet new people in high volume.

Its also a great place to see somebody's true colors. A good way to get to know somebody is to take them to a club/bar/lounge and see how they interact w/others and the staff. How do they treat $, do they help w/girls, do they buy the 1st round or try to be cheap, do they talk a big game but dumpster dive?. Its all visible fast.

If you just want sex go to a brothel or massage place- no shame. I share none of that same sentiment that they have on RVF about p4p (but its just not really for me at this point in my life.)

J's mentality is absolute right (basic bitches), but I would just like to add color so that the person who is building up can aspire to something that most can't do.

Social skills are learned and the club is a great place to learn about people and life. Rapid immersion learning by floundering and almost drowning. You can learn by standing on the shoulders, but to not fail is a failure because you will never truly gain mental strength and the will to succeed against all odds. That is beyond $ or time.

[WarMachine]

On the subject of choices, Jariel.

I think the major failure of people is to be educated on the moments of choice.

Some people dive head first into situations, because they're will is not strong enough or use veil ignorance of "not knowing any better". Thus this is how people live, not taking responsibility for their action, or inaction - and making bad choices. Or rather, not identifying when to make the right choice. But the correct choice, would mean they knew right from wrong in the first place. Somebody who has had no consequences for their actions will be ill equipped to do this...

There are multiple moments of choice everyday, but the tool identify them is to use logic and consequence, cause and effect if you will.

Unfortunately for most women, they don't think with logic, but emotion, and thus the results are obvious.

[Apollo21]

Nightclubs exist for one purpose only...to make money. If you're a bouncer, a bartender or the owner/promoter
you might have an advantage...otherwise you're better off providing a service, or joining an organization that
has a lot of interesting people.

Nightclubs are like the easy button, they require virtually no effort...all you do is show up...and pay to stand around
hoping the stars align that night...while you clothes and hair soak up that cigarette smoke and you bounce around like
a pinball machine hoping to score.

It's great fun when you're young...however the nightclub facade starts to get old and you realize there are better things
to do with your time...including meeting better women.

Guys like Distant Light and others who use night clubs to build their social circle are definitely much more strategic...and you
can leverage that however the party lifestyle is a little bit like gambling in Vegas...if you stay too long you may end up broke.

[Noir]

Agreed re: everything mentioned above.

You should also give some emphasis to what types of clubs you are going to.

Techno/house clubs will be different to Hip Hop clubs and so on.

Are you going for the poon or for the music?

Are you going to make friends or to fuck bitches?

Are you going to support your buddy playing his closing set or to celebrate a shitty event with your colleagues?

Also agree that it's the easiest to pull hot girls.

There are outliers like markets, yoga studios etc etc but clubs are the easiest for ONS where you don't wanna see the women again.