Quote: (06-30-2011 01:25 PM)Giovonny Wrote:
And I don't agree that society is teaching men to be "nice guys". That shit was over 20 years ago. Society is now teaching men to be "bad boys". Everything I see on TV is some suburban guy with prison style tattoos.
Most guys I talk to think they need to be more of a "cocky bad boy".
Nobody is singing love songs anymore. Its cool to look like a street thug now.
Who is encouraging us to be "nice guys"??? Not the music industry, not the movie and television industry, not mainstream society. Even girls don't want that shit.
The only people telling me to be a "nice guy" is my grandparents.
I think it depends to some extent on where a man grows up in the U.S.
Take me, for instance. I grew up in the Deep South where Christian fundamentalism has some hold over society. Of course, this is changing, but their hold remains.
Young men are encouraged to be a gentleman, treat a woman with respect, protect her, provide for her, and make her feel good. Basically, be a white knight. Pre-marital sex is bad. Wait until you're married. It was all I ever grew up learning on how to attract a woman.
To give you an idea of just how beta I used to be, I used to actually write love poems about crushes I had. Guys with whom I grew up played the guitar and wrote love songs. Yes, lots of guys (especially in the Bible Belt which means millions of men) do this kind of lovey dovey crap. It still exists to an extent.
It's not just me who grew up old school. Solomon (the popular guy who kept a blog, similar to Roissy's) grew up the son of a preacher where at high school graduation, all the guys were virgins, but the women weren't; I can also remember reading of a 26-year-old virgin man marrying a 28-year-old woman with the pastor praising the couple of their committment to purity--except that the woman had been sexually active since her teen years and had experienced over a decade of sex before settling down with a beta--who doesn't know a thing about her past.
The thing that really make me shudder is the thought that I could've ended up just like him if I hadn't stumbled across Roissy's blog (and the other parts of the community).
Now that I think about it, I realize that my old school ways of attracting women that were programmed into me are antiquated. I was naive and didn't know any better.
Sometimes, when I did see the light, I would dismiss it. For example, women are hypergamous. Back in middle school, I knew a 13-year-old who made it known that she had a 17-year-old boyfriend in highschool. It was like she was proud of the fact. I couldn't understand why she chose him. It seemed kind of creepy to me.
Here's the trend as I see it:
When you are in middle school, girls try to go for high school guys.
When you are 16 and in high school, girls will go after 20-something-year-old guys who have cars.
When you are 21 and in college, she will reject you for slightly older guys.
HOWEVER,
when you are 29 and have your s*** together, have some serious money, a car, things that give you confidence and make you high-status, they will be begging for you to come to them. They will be giving you the attention they never gave you earlier in life because they've realized that their alphas won't commit.
And here's the ultimate kicker,
when YOU decide that YOU want to date a younger woman, women will shriek at you and tell you you're shallow when, in fact, they themselves dated and preferred older guys. This just reeks and screams of hypocrisy.
Just think of how society rigs the game against men. It's O.K. for 30, 40, and 50-year-old "Twilight" moms to fawn over a high schooler Edward Cullen and wolfboy, but if a group of 30, 40, and 50-year-old men formed a group appreciating how sexy the high schooler Kirsten Stewart is, you can bet your ass they'd be labeled as perverts and sex offenders.
Here's one double standard that works for women--they get the benefit of the doubt...always.
I remember reading about a guy who got kicked out of a club because an angry gf lied to the bouncer that he put something in her drink. The guy then got kicked out of the club. It was club policy that an accusation is enough. However, the guy's friend who still in the club tried to get the girl kicked out by saying that she tried to put something in someone's drink. The result? She just gets a warning.
Just falsely accusing a man of anything is enough to ruin his life.
This is why cultural phenomena such as "Twilight Moms" occurs while the opposite doesn't happen for men. The thinking goes like this: "They're women. What can women do? It's not like they're actually going to kidnap Edward Cullen or wolfboy to their underground basement."