[Tuthmosis]

(09-28-2011 04:53 PM)Pusscrook Wrote:  

So what's the technique for hinting to a bitch she needs an enema because the smell of her asscrack was permeating throughout the room? What's the dialogue for that?

You gotta extrapolate from the breath dialogue. With my girl, I did a "can I ask you something?" lead-in, which resolved into a "what kind of soap do you use?" I wasn't very delicate because the girl was sillier and more resilient.

(09-28-2011 05:01 PM)Aliblahba Wrote:  

Man, if a girl had monkey butt I'd have to let her go.

Dude, that's easy to say, but if you had a hot-ass girl, who was clinging to your balls like saran-wrap, and the only thing wrong with her is that you caught an unpleasant whiff-of-ass when you were doggy-ing her, I think you'd think differently. One minor correction is no big deal. Sure, if it persisted, I think we'd all concur, but that's a totally different conversation.

[el mechanico]

(09-28-2011 05:18 PM)Tuthmosis Wrote:  

(09-28-2011 04:53 PM)Pusscrook Wrote:  

So what's the technique for hinting to a bitch she needs an enema because the smell of her asscrack was permeating throughout the room? What's the dialogue for that?

You gotta extrapolate from the breath dialogue. With my girl, I did a "can I ask you something?" lead-in, which resolved into a "what kind of soap do you use?" I wasn't very delicate because the girl was sillier and more resilient.

(09-28-2011 05:01 PM)Aliblahba Wrote:  

Man, if a girl had monkey butt I'd have to let her go.

Dude, that's easy to say, but if you had a hot-ass girl, who was clinging to your balls like saran-wrap, and the only thing wrong with her is that you caught an unpleasant whiff-of-ass when you were doggy-ing her, I think you'd think differently. One minor correction is no big deal. Sure, if it persisted, I think we'd all concur, but that's a totally different conversation.

I mentioned before a fix for this.

Chew some strong gum and let some sweet spit drip on her crack while you doggie. Works for lube and smell.

As for breath play tongue hockey with an atomic fireball in your mouth..

You can tell her what to fix later..

[Pusscrook]

(09-28-2011 05:18 PM)Tuthmosis Wrote:  

(09-28-2011 04:53 PM)Pusscrook Wrote:  

So what's the technique for hinting to a bitch she needs an enema because the smell of her asscrack was permeating throughout the room? What's the dialogue for that?

You gotta extrapolate from the breath dialogue. With my girl, I did a "can I ask you something?" lead-in, which resolved into a "what kind of soap do you use?" I wasn't very delicate because the girl was sillier and more resilient.

[/quote]

Hahahaha that's great tuth.

[Aliblahba]

I feel ya Tuth. Problem is I gotta mighty strong gag reflex. Shit is my kryptonite. Even just smelling it once on a girl will make it hard for me to forget. I banged a chick earlier this year that had stink butt. I swear there was a fleck of TP on it too. I tried to flip her over in the missionary and finish but it was too late. My dick went limp and my stomach went to knots. I had to get out of the bedroom.

[Tuthmosis]

(09-28-2011 05:27 PM)Aliblahba Wrote:  

I feel ya Tuth. Problem is I gotta mighty strong gag reflex. Shit is my kryptonite. Even just smelling it once on a girl will make it hard for me to forget. I banged a chick earlier this year that had stink butt. I swear there was a fleck of TP on it too. I tried to flip her over in the missionary and finish but it was too late. My dick went limp and my stomach went to knots. I had to get out of the bedroom.

LMAO! Yeah, if you have this strong of an aversion to shit, it's going to be hard to plow through. The reason I'm so hyped up about this thread is that something like this happened to me, literally, last night. I had a cutie with a plump ass at the pad and things were going swimmingly. It went down hill when I pulled off the panties and noticed two things in the span of a couple of minutes:

1. A series of three red, and irritated, butt pimples; and

2. A flake of unidentified brown matter in the crack.

I never caught a whiff of anything, but the brown particle could have only been one thing. I actually ended up raw-dogging the girl missionary (a rare occurrence on a first time, which only happened after breaking down some pretty solid LMR that pretty much necessitated it), but my chub wasn't as strong as it would have been if I hadn't spotted the two items above.

[Pusscrook]

(09-28-2011 05:40 PM)Tuthmosis Wrote:  

(09-28-2011 05:27 PM)Aliblahba Wrote:  

LMAO! Yeah, if you have this strong of an aversion to shit, it's going to be hard to plow through. The reason I'm so hyped up about this thread is that something like this happened to me, literally, last night. I had a cutie with a plump ass at the pad and things were going swimmingly. It went down hill when I pulled off the panties and noticed two things in the span of a couple of minutes:

1. A series of three red and irritated butt pimples; and

2. A particle of unidentified brown matter in the crack.

I never caught a whiff of anything, but the brown particle could have only been one thing. I actually ended up raw-dogging the girl missionary (after breaking down some pretty solid LMR), but my chub wasn't as strong as it would have been if I hadn't spotted the two items above.

Amazing you mentioned this thing. I had an episode a while back with this whore who I had been fucking for some time. Now, this bitch had removed her panties and left them on the vanity. I have a serious fucking panty fetish and once she came back to the bed, I immediately jumped up and ran to the bathroom with the excuse of I needed to freshen up to. Of course it was for me to sniff the panties. Now, I flipped the panties inside out, and lo and behold she had shit stains in her panties. What was odd was that the streaks reminded me of someone who was trying to parallel park a car when I saw the lines. One of the stains was wet, the other dry. She must've accidentally shitted on herself on the way over or something because the wet stain was sort of smeared. This was crushing to me because i really wanted to sniff them. Anyway, I have no tolerance for any of this sort of thing and upon returning to my bed, could not get my dick to cooperate in any way at all.

[Samseau]

[speakeasy]

If you are an adult you shouldn't be having skid marks in your underwear. She must've never learned how to properly wipe her ass. I've always avoided any temptation to sniff panties. I'm afraid what I'll find out.

[Amour Fou]

(09-30-2011 03:23 AM)speakeasy Wrote:  

If you are an adult you shouldn't be having skid marks in your underwear. She must've never learned how to properly wipe her ass. I've always avoided any temptation to sniff panties. I'm afraid what I'll find out.

I don't want to start a "puke fest," but as we are into nasty experiences...

Has anyone had a "nasty surprise" while doing anal on a girl?

I had. More than once.

Boy, was I happy I had a condom on me!

If you like it "dirty", that is as dirty as it gets...

[Aliblahba]

(09-30-2011 07:07 AM)Amour Fou Wrote:  

(09-30-2011 03:23 AM)speakeasy Wrote:  

If you are an adult you shouldn't be having skid marks in your underwear. She must've never learned how to properly wipe her ass. I've always avoided any temptation to sniff panties. I'm afraid what I'll find out.

I don't want to start a "puke fest," but as we are into nasty experiences...

Has anyone had a "nasty surprise" while doing anal on a girl?

I had. More than once.

Boy, was I happy I had a condom on me!

If you like it "dirty", that is as dirty as it gets...

It's called "pulling out a chili dog".

[Chad Daring]

That is hte number one reason why I've never tried anal. To much eFukt has ruined the allure for me

[stein]

The first time I went to doggy-style a girl was on the floor of her friends living room. I'd attacked her impromptu during an act of "it's complicated" game and she was just eating it up. There she was, lying naked on all fours, saying "baby, I missed you." The french doors opened out to a beautiful view from her balcony and the full moon swelled with pride at my expert caveman game. As I grabbed her butt cheeks a soft breeze blew in. It passed from under her, picked up speed as it passed her asshole and stabbed my nostrils with the wrath of a New York City sewer. There were tears in my eyes and regret in my loins. The french doors flapped in glee, the moon highlighted my failing manhood. Before I knew it I was sampling the digested fruits of this bitch's intestinal labor. I went from raging , pulsating hard-on to complete erectile failure before anyone could say "Listerine."

"Baby?"
"Uh yeah, never mind." and I rolled over.

Her friend made tea the next morning. I drank it and left that house with memories that have scarred me for life!

[stein]

Getting back to the original topic. I like my morning sex just as much as the next guy, but my nose is quite sensitive. It has been in too many olfactory tragedies and does not trust the early morning stank a bitch can unleash while trying to kiss me. Brushing my teeth and coaxing her to go brush hers has worked, but can kill the mood. So let me present an interim solution:



Listerine PocketPaks™ are the secret weapon that will help you slay that fire breathing dragon lying in your bed. They're strong, minty and dissolve as soon as you put them on your tongue so there's no chewing involved. They're a bit overpriced, but small enough to fit in my wallet so I can take it everywhere. I just pop a couple in my mouth and offer her the same. Fresh breath improves the experience for her as well, so she'll gladly accept. Within a minute the icy blast neutralizes all bad breath and let's you bang in peace.

With morning sex out of the way, I can then brush my teeth in peace and get on with my day.

[speakeasy]

(10-03-2011 11:32 PM)stein Wrote:  

The first time I went to doggy-style a girl was on the floor of her friends living room. I'd attacked her impromptu during an act of "it's complicated" game and she was just eating it up. There she was, lying naked on all fours, saying "baby, I missed you." The french doors opened out to a beautiful view from her balcony and the full moon swelled with pride at my expert caveman game. As I grabbed her butt cheeks a soft breeze blew in. It passed from under her, picked up speed as it passed her asshole and stabbed my nostrils with the wrath of a New York City sewer. There were tears in my eyes and regret in my loins. The french doors flapped in glee, the moon highlighted my failing manhood. Before I knew it I was sampling the digested fruits of this bitch's intestinal labor. I went from raging , pulsating hard-on to complete erectile failure before anyone could say "Listerine."

"Baby?"
"Uh yeah, never mind." and I rolled over.

Her friend made tea the next morning. I drank it and left that house with memories that have scarred me for life!

I wish I could write half as colorfully as this guy.

[Moma]

(10-03-2011 11:32 PM)stein Wrote:  

The first time I went to doggy-style a girl was on the floor of her friends living room. I'd attacked her impromptu during an act of "it's complicated" game and she was just eating it up. There she was, lying naked on all fours, saying "baby, I missed you." The french doors opened out to a beautiful view from her balcony and the full moon swelled with pride at my expert caveman game. As I grabbed her butt cheeks a soft breeze blew in. It passed from under her, picked up speed as it passed her asshole and stabbed my nostrils with the wrath of a New York City sewer. There were tears in my eyes and regret in my loins. The french doors flapped in glee, the moon highlighted my failing manhood. Before I knew it I was sampling the digested fruits of this bitch's intestinal labor. I went from raging , pulsating hard-on to complete erectile failure before anyone could say "Listerine."

"Baby?"
"Uh yeah, never mind." and I rolled over.

Her friend made tea the next morning. I drank it and left that house with memories that have scarred me for life!

Can you please elaborate on this "it's complicated, game?"

[stein]

Oh Moma it's nothing new. You can also term it "rebound sex with a lizard you used to bang" I banged this lizard for a month or so, then said it wasn't going to work out because I had "things to deal with." - I kept it ambiguous but stayed in touch for a couple of months.

Then one day, I drank way too much Bacardi 151, passed out, woke up and found myself at her friend's place. I was fed a snack and treated pretty well when I realized she was gaming me. She walked me to my car and sat in the passenger seat she was so familiar with, and said that her ex boyfriends lamented that they were never able to find someone half as good as her. She knew an old fling was coming to visit me so I said she was nice but that things were "complicated." I didn't elaborate on it. She kept looking in my eyes, so I walked her back to the apartment. I stepped in, told her to get me a glass of water, decided I was horny and cave manned her in the moonlight.

Then she unleashed a whiff so putrid it would qualify as the official stank of Dante's Third Circle of Hell. Bitch set fire to all my beautiful memories of drilling out her orifices.

The reptile after that was also no saint. Her stank emanated from the front after she said we could meet and let me remove her pants, but forgot to tell me she was in the middle of her period. The whore!

It taught me that the game demands unwavering nostrils.

[Pusscrook]

(10-04-2011 04:59 PM)stein Wrote:  

Oh Moma it's nothing new. You can also term it "rebound sex with a lizard you used to bang" I banged this lizard for a month or so, then said it wasn't going to work out because I had "things to deal with." - I kept it ambiguous but stayed in touch for a couple of months.

Then one day, I drank way too much Bacardi 151, passed out, woke up and found myself at her friend's place. I was fed a snack and treated pretty well when I realized she was gaming me. She walked me to my car and sat in the passenger seat she was so familiar with, and said that her ex boyfriends lamented that they were never able to find someone half as good as her. She knew an old fling was coming to visit me so I said she was nice but that things were "complicated." I didn't elaborate on it. She kept looking in my eyes, so I walked her back to the apartment. I stepped in, told her to get me a glass of water, decided I was horny and cave manned her in the moonlight.

Then she unleashed a whiff so putrid it would qualify as the official stank of Dante's Third Circle of Hell. Bitch set fire to all my beautiful memories of drilling out her orifices.

The reptile after that was also no saint. Her stank emanated from the front after she said we could meet and let me remove her pants, but forgot to tell me she was in the middle of her period. The whore!

It taught me that the game demands unwavering nostrils.

hahahaha. fucking hilarious!

[Screwston]

Gotta love it when girls don't u tell they're on their rag and u have to see that shit.

[Pusscrook]

(10-05-2011 02:15 PM)houston Wrote:  

Gotta love it when girls don't u tell they're on their rag and u have to see that shit.

I think I can say with a fair amount of experience, women are a lot nastier than men. These whores rally have lots of problems in terms of cleaning the pussy right. They think running water over the pussy is equivalent to a clean pussy. This is another reason why I like milf pussy. These whores are experienced pussy cleaners.

[Tuthmosis]

(10-05-2011 08:09 PM)Pusscrook Wrote:  

I think I can say with a fair amount of experience, women are a lot nastier than men. These whores rally have lots of problems in terms of cleaning the pussy right. They think running water over the pussy is equivalent to a clean pussy. This is another reason why I like milf pussy. These whores are experienced pussy cleaners.

This is mad truf--especially for younger girls. I've been banging girls in the 20-21 range lately, and I'm downright shocked at how unclean they are with their pussies. The freshness going in is already suspect and, not surprisingly, after sex, they just get dressed--or chill for hours--without any special trip to the bathroom or reaching for a towel (cloth, paper, or otherwise). A couple of them have gotten so wet they should have been showering after sex, but they just act like nothing.

In fact, I think I caught a yeast infection from one of them just a week ago (I didn't even know that was possible). I had to go into the doctor because my dick got mad red and swollen after raw-dogging her, which scared the shit out of me. My doctor figured it was some sort of yeast infection being transferred, gave me a special ointment for it, and ran some other tests, which came back negative. This has never happened before, and the ointment worked, so I'm thinking the doctor was right about the yeast. The kicker is that this girl cut off contact when I called to tell her what the doctor said. In a way, I don't blame her, but I thought I did it delicately. I wanted to hit it again (I guess I'm a nasty MFer), but not until she corrected whatever the hell irritated the fuck out of my wiener.

The way I saw it, I wouldn't have been able to manage a respectable boner if I had YEAST INFECTION screaming in the back of my mind without her knowing. I would have either been grossed out or pissed off, and neither would have been good for the chub factor.

My last LTR kept her shit immaculate. I didn't realize how rare a quality that is.

But, yo-ho-ho-ho, it's a player's life for me.

[Screwston]

What are other symptoms of a yeast infection? I'm worried now....

[jariel]

A hottie with funky breath isn't a hottie.

[Pusscrook]

(10-05-2011 09:58 PM)houston Wrote:  

What are other symptoms of a yeast infection? I'm worried now....

Don't be too worried. Yeast infections are usually quite curable and though they are some that could do some damage (prostate cancer etc.) that would mean you have been ignoring the problem for a lengthy time. I think what Thuth may be talking about is a yeast infection he may have contracted via sexual intercourse from a whore who had a vaginal yeast infection. I can tell you from experience, that you will know if you have a penile yeast infection because you will be scratching the head of your dick like a dog who has millions of fleas. It is the most glorious itch you will have ever encountered . There in lies the problem , because you will scratch and scratch and scratch, and inflame the infected site and you will regret it. Usually , you can get an over the counter product,(monistat) to help ease the fucking scratching. If it becomes systemic , you will need to see a doctor and get something with a bit more kick to kill the yeast in the blood stream. I don't know if you have gone thru the ritual of circumcision or not, but the foreskin is a great home for fucking yeast. If you haven't done it(circumcision), make sure your retract that turtle head and clean that "Smegma" (yellow/white cheese under your foreskin) real good since it carries more yeast , than on any other part of your body. Yeast loves highly acidic places. There is a ton of info on line which can identify the different types. Whatever you do, if you did get a yeast infection via sexual intercourse, you will have to lay off the pussy sauce for a few weeks or so until it clears up. I don't think it is wise to scare a bitch into thinking she gave you an STD since it is not really considered the classic case of a sexually transmitted disease, ie; Chlamydia. It may be that you gave it to her just the same.

Good luck and wrap it up,

Pusscrook