[puckerman]

This might be the weirdest experience I've ever had in my life. I'd like to get some advice on it.

On Friday evening, I attended a retreat with about 60 people from all over the state and country. A man named "Larry" was also attending the event.

Anyway, I was walking in an area where Larry was sitting on a couch. When I was about six or seven feet away from Larry, he got up from the couch and started walking away. He stumbled a bit.

I asked him politely if he was alright. When he didn't answer the first time, I asked again showing my concern. He yelled at me to the point that several other people in the room heard--this room was about 60 feet by 50 feet.

Needless to say, I decided that I was going to avoid him after that outburst.

I probably would have forgotten about the event if it hadn't been for a conversation that one of the event organizers initiated with me the next day. I'll call him "Peter." Peter said he needed to talk to me. Peter informed that Larry didn't want to talk to me. He also said that Larry had said that I had touched him.

Needless to say, this is a pretty bizarre experience. I'm wondering how I should handle this. The sad part about all this is that I genuinely like and respect Peter.

One person did witness part of the "incident." I talked to him about it and feel like he will take my side.

I avoided Larry like the plague for the rest of the weekend. Sometimes I would even change my direction because I didn't want to get within arm's length of him.

How would you guys handle something like this? Should I continue to be involved with this community?

[samsamsam]

Only you can know what this community truly offers you. No matter how much share, you will always have better info than what can be shared. I'd go with your gut.

In this community, are most people like you or like this bitch?

[Dr. Howard]

(11-24-2015 12:56 PM)puckerman Wrote:  

This might be the weirdest experience I've ever had in my life. I'd like to get some advice on it.

On Friday evening, I attended a retreat with about 60 people from all over the state and country. A man named "Larry" was also attending the event.

Anyway, I was walking in an area where Larry was sitting on a couch. When I was about six or seven feet away from Larry, he got up from the couch and started walking away. He stumbled a bit.

I asked him politely if he was alright. When he didn't answer the first time, I asked again showing my concern. He yelled at me to the point that several other people in the room heard--this room was about 60 feet by 50 feet.

Needless to say, I decided that I was going to avoid him after that outburst.

I probably would have forgotten about the event if it hadn't been for a conversation that one of the event organizers initiated with me the next day. I'll call him "Peter." Peter said he needed to talk to me. Peter informed that Larry didn't want to talk to me. He also said that Larry had said that I had touched him.

Needless to say, this is a pretty bizarre experience. I'm wondering how I should handle this. The sad part about all this is that I genuinely like and respect Peter.

One person did witness part of the "incident." I talked to him about it and feel like he will take my side.

I avoided Larry like the plague for the rest of the weekend. Sometimes I would even change my direction because I didn't want to get within arm's length of him.

How would you guys handle something like this? Should I continue to be involved with this community?

I would go Donald Trump with it. Larry is trying to go covert, so is Peter...that is the stream of conversation that they feel is most advantageous right now.

You should go outburst, go public, get on a mic and call out Larry "Larry! LARRY! up here! You went and told peter to tell me that I touched you? What is this, second grade? I did not touch you at all. You want to accuse me of something, come out and say it! I am HERE COME AT ME BRO!!!"

Ok, not the last part. That is what I would do though, if my job was not connected to this community.

[Remington]

I guess some men need to attention whore every once and a while too.

[rpg]

Larry is acting like a woman. Prepare to see so much more of this shit on a stick behavior in the coming years.

[Days of Broken Arrows]

Was this a religious retreat? If not, disregard the following. But if so:

Religious retreats = gathering places for repressed gay men. At least it was that way in the Catholic church. Being away from mainstream society gave these guys the freedom to finally do what they'd been dreaming about.

If I'm on the right track, this was most likely a gay man's way of coming on to you. Despite his protesting to the organizer, his hope was probably that you too were secretly gay and you'd approach him later in private and then you both would "work it out."

Otherwise, why say *that* of all things? If he's making an accusation of you being gay, you can bet it's on his mind. And why would that be? Not because he's straight. Has any straight man here ever thought to do this? Never crossed my mind.

It's like the feminists who drone on about rape, and then studies show that's their #1 fantasy.

I went to a Catholic private school for a couple of years and avoided the retreats like the plague because of this. I had a very highly-attuned "creep" meter and got the willies whenever the priest and his henchmen (all annoying school boys who would turn out to be gay later on) attempted to get me to go to one of these things.

If I'm off-base with all that, I'd say this guy was bi-polar or a diabetic in need of insulin. If this was work-related you might want to go to HR first and head him off at the pass. Odds are, other people probably complained about him too if he's doing this to you.

Good luck and sorry it happened.

[puckerman]

I have a feeling that I know what Larry's "racket" (to borrow a Landmark term) is. This is also a very key fact.

A few weeks ago, I also participated in an event where I had first met him. He mentioned that he has an issue which impairs his peripheral vision. He can see straight ahead, but has trouble seeing to the side. He even mentioned that he's had one auto accident because of it. He wears a special pair of glasses because of it.

Anyway, I've been working with a really awesome eye doctor and started to talk about her. I mentioned that she had improved my vision and wanted to see if she might be able to help Larry out. My guess is that Larry didn't like that I was trying to sell him on my eye doctor. It turns out she couldn't help him anyway, so I did give up.

I suspect Larry likes the sympathy that he gets from being slightly disabled. During the weekend he was carrying a stick, the kind of stick blind people will use. The "threat" is that I was actually trying to help him fix his disability. People who are disabled can be extremely defensive about "being fixed."

At the same time, I do have a selfish interest in trying to fix Larry. This son of a bitch is still allowed to drive a car and is a threat not just to me, but to everybody else. He could kill somebody. It's pretty obvious that Larry has no conscience.

The other problem is that I'm going to look like a bully no matter what I do because I'm "picking on" someone who has a disability.

I don't see him unless it's an all-state event or if goes to the other town.

Over the years, I've learned something about communities. The good keeps out the bad, or the bad keeps out the good.

What bothers me is that Peter didn't seem at all concerned about the facts. It hurts because Peter did me a very big favor once. Peter is a good guy. I've noticed this more and more--people just don't care if someone lies or not. If one person in an argument is a liar and the other is telling the truth, people still treat them as equals.

[LINUX]

Sounds like you've surrounded yourself with third graders.

I would join a meetup.com group and find much cooler groups to hang with "Thursday Night Poker Night", "People who Dance", "The Bi-polar club," "Chess Masters" "Recent Divorcees" etc..

[debeguiled]

Quote:

I have a feeling that I know what Larry's "racket" (to borrow a Landmark term) is. This is also a very key fact.

Just a heads up. If this was a Landmark Forum retreat, they have been known to have some issues. This, according to cult expert Rick Ross:

Quote:

Q:What group do you get the most serious complaints about?

A:Some of the most serious complaints I receive are about Landmark Education. Landmark has a long history of personal injury lawsuits; people have been hospitalized after breakdowns linked to their programs. Back in the 1970s singer/songwriter John Denver and TV sitcom star Valerie Harper extolled "est," which was the forerunner of Landmark Education launched by seminar guru Werner Erhard. In the 1990s Erhard supposedly sold out, though his brother now runs the private for-profit company that like Scientology essentially sells its revelations.

http://gothamist.com/2005/07/18/rick_ros...expert.php

http://culteducation.com/group/1020-land...ation.html

I don't have personal experience with this iteration of the Werner Erhard approach, but its earlier seminars, called EST, has fucked up some otherwise cool people I have known.

Don't know if this applies to you, so disregard if it doesn't.

[worldwidetraveler]

It sounds like you didn't build enough attraction before touching him.

Next time you may want to bounce him to another gazebo while pushing and pulling with the occasional neg.

[Sam Malone]

(11-24-2015 03:10 PM)worldwidetraveler Wrote:  

It sounds like you didn't build enough attraction before touching him.

Next time you may want to bounce him to another gazebo while pushing and pulling with the occasional neg.

[DamienCasanova]

(11-24-2015 01:44 PM)puckerman Wrote:  

I have a feeling that I know what Larry's "racket" (to borrow a Landmark term) is. This is also a very key fact.

A few weeks ago, I also participated in an event where I had first met him. He mentioned that he has an issue which impairs his peripheral vision. He can see straight ahead, but has trouble seeing to the side. He even mentioned that he's had one auto accident because of it. He wears a special pair of glasses because of it.

Anyway, I've been working with a really awesome eye doctor and started to talk about her. I mentioned that she had improved my vision and wanted to see if she might be able to help Larry out. My guess is that Larry didn't like that I was trying to sell him on my eye doctor. It turns out she couldn't help him anyway, so I did give up.

I suspect Larry likes the sympathy that he gets from being slightly disabled. During the weekend he was carrying a stick, the kind of stick blind people will use. The "threat" is that I was actually trying to help him fix his disability. People who are disabled can be extremely defensive about "being fixed."

At the same time, I do have a selfish interest in trying to fix Larry. This son of a bitch is still allowed to drive a car and is a threat not just to me, but to everybody else. He could kill somebody. It's pretty obvious that Larry has no conscience.

The other problem is that I'm going to look like a bully no matter what I do because I'm "picking on" someone who has a disability.

I'm in Austin. Larry is in Fort Worth. So, I don't see him unless it's an "all-Texas" event or if goes to the other town.

Over the years, I've learned something about communities. The good keeps out the bad, or the bad keeps out the good.

What bothers me is that Peter didn't seem at all concerned about the facts. It hurts because Peter did me a very big favor once. Peter is a good guy. I've noticed this more and more--people just don't care if someone lies or not. If one person in an argument is a liar and the other is telling the truth, people still treat them as equals.

I've nailed some quality crazy chicks from Landmark.

[Sherman]

I actually attended the "Forum" the first month they offered it. I also attended a special seminar taught by Werner Erhard. It was interesting to see the women swooning over Erhard. He was tall and slim, wore the best tailored suit and could talk nonstop for ten hours straight.

Back in the days when these large-group awareness trainings were popular, men could do quite well with the ladies by volunteering as one of the group leaders. My roommate did this in another spinoff which is now defunct and said he never had so many easy women in his life.

They like to turn you into an unpaid salesman and get all your friends to join. I am surprised these training are still going since times have changed. I have no idea what they are like now. I think these large-group awareness trainings which encourage people to exaggerate inner feelings and speak psychobabble may have contributed some to the fucked up society we have now.

[GlobalMan]

I'd cancel any further 'retreats' with this bunch if I were you. No one needs to be around men that do that kind of thing.

[heavy]

(11-24-2015 01:17 PM)Dr. Howard Wrote:  

I would go Donald Trump with it.
...

Now he's a verb...I like it.

Good use of it actually.

[Geomann180]

(11-24-2015 04:46 PM)GlobalMan Wrote:  

I'd cancel any further 'retreats' with this bunch if I were you. No one needs to be around men that do that kind of thing.

Agreed.

Might as well get a job as a teacher in feminist studies. At least you'll get paid to be false accused.

G

[Conscious Pirate]

I've had personal experience with Landmark forums. And it's attendees.

One evening of lectures was all I needed to know that it attracts a similar kind as Scientology.

[Scoundrel]

A strange story, strangely told....

(11-24-2015 12:56 PM)puckerman Wrote:  

I asked him politely if he was alright. When he didn't answer the first time, I asked again showing my concern. He yelled at me to the point that several other people in the room heard--this room was about 60 feet by 50 feet.

What specifically did he yell at you? People generally don't just "yell" — they say something. What?

(11-24-2015 12:56 PM)puckerman Wrote:  

Peter informed that Larry didn't want to talk to me. He also said that Larry had said that I had touched him.

"Touched him" how? Sexually?

As you tell this story, it isn't at all clear what you're being accused of.

It wouldn't surprise me if this is Landmark Forum. Nothing ever adds up or makes sense with those crackpots.

[puckerman]

This was not a Landmark event. However, it is an event that attracts the same kind of people.

The closeted homo theory is one theory I didn't consider. He did admit that he's into polyamory. Needless to say, poly men are much more likely to be bi as well.

With regard to yelling, I think he yelled something like: "I'm fine." or "I don't need your help." I honestly can't remember his words, but they were loud enough to show me that I wanted to avoid this freak.

[kaotic]

This thread isn't going in the direction I was hoping for....

5/10 thread wouldn't touch again.

[Benoit]

You should have instantly gone on the offensive - said how "uncomfortable" being around Larry now made you feel and that you felt discriminated against and unsafe in an organisation that allows predators like that to take part. "I'm the victim here, why are you attacking me?"

Make as much noise as possible so that they can't do anything towards you without it looking like retribution for you blowing the whistle on someone they were protecting.

If they want to force you out then salt the ground as you leave.

[Gmac]

I would be openly mocking anyone taking the allegations seriously. Make them look like the crazy ones they are.

Agree with Benoit, you should not be defending yourself.

[germanico]

[puckerman]

Incidentally, I have considered finding a woman who would falsely accuse him of something. I might even consider paying her to do it.

You may all ask: what do I get out of this group? Well, one thing I'm getting out of it is that I have a place to go for Thanksgiving tomorrow. I also do get quite a few RSAK's (Random Senseless Acts of Kindness).

I will consider Peter a friend. Why? He was the person who told me about where I could go for the sacred medicine of the Amazon the first time. I can't say that many people have "changed my life," but he definitely has. It's important to remember the people who make a positive difference in our lives.

[Brian Shima]

Is this for the drug retreat that makes you shit and puke while tripping?