[tomzestatlu]

(07-03-2016 02:13 AM)rapaz12 Wrote:  

Also, I STILL haven't asked a girl for her number yet and I hope to do it soon.

Go on the street, go to random girl and say "Hi, I like you, would you give me your number?" Expect she won´t give it to you and she probably won´t give it to you. Ok nothing happened and here you are: You overcame the fear of asking for number, so next time you will need it in important situation (which will be much more favorable), you will know that asking for number doesn´t hurt.

Learn touching girls in clubs, where is everybody dancing and drunk. Nobody gives a fck about that.

[Cobra]

OP, you not only have the balls to approach but you are taking it a notch higher and approaching groups. On top of that, there is definitely interest as I have read multiple posts where you noted that "she asked me for my name." That is a personal question. Personal questions are a big sign of interest. From that point, you should not automatically assume you are screwing up. That appears to be your biggest issue.

At that point what I can recommend is to start making statements of things you like. It could be green grass or concerts. Who gives a fuck. She will get your vibe then.

My point is simple, I am suggesting that you shift your inner game from the assumption that you're "screwing up" to the assumption that "I'm doing good" especially when you get signs of interest. You need to recognize these signs and learn to shift your behavior.

As the other poster noted, I agree you are being too hard on yourself. You are doing much better than a lot of guys that don't even get signs of interest when they are starting out.

[rapaz12]

I've been approaching a lot more random people lately this past month and I've started to keep count and it looks like I get at least 60 approaches per week.

At the beginning of the month I started out just complimenting random people but then when I started to get irritated and annoyed with that, I moved to just randomly talking with people. Finally this all culminated to tonight where I FINALLY started asking for numbers.

At first I started freaking out about it, but then I chatted with one girl playing with her phone and finally worked up the courage to ask and she said(surprise) she had a boyfriend. From there, I moved onto another girl I wasn't really super into that was watching some guy paint. I opened her by remarking on the painting and how I saw art similar to it overseas. We then chatted a little about travelling and then I kind of got tired of talking and then I said she was cool and then I asked her to give me her number. She acted all confused about the question and then I just thought forget it and walked away. Later on the girl found me again and reengaged and we chatted some more, but since I wanted to focus my energy on girls I liked more, I cut the conversation short.

After her, I moved onto a girl that was sitting. We exchanged two or three sentences and then my mind went blank and I just went straight to asking for her number. She then commented that we hadn't really said a lot before I asked and then she started to ask me a little more about myself. After a few seconds her friend showed up and stole her attention and then I walked off.

Then lastly, this is the one that bugged me the most.

I went to wait in a line to get in a bar and I opened this chick with her friends behind me.We then chatted about school, work, and city life for a bit. As I spoke to her, I was really surprised at myself because I legitimately started to feel myself click with this girl which is something I've honestly given up hope I could do. Anyways, eventually her friends started to complain they didn't want to go in the bar and she argued she wanted to stay. After more arguing her friend eventually explicitly said that the reason she didn't want to go was because she was talking to me. The girl then yelled they could just go without her. Her friends then gave up and left. I then chatted with her some more and got her to cool down and laugh again.

I then noticed the line had shortened and we were close to getting in the bar. I realized at that point I didn't really want to go in the bar since it would be loud and I wouldn't be able to talk, so I figured the time to ask for the number was right before we went in. I then waited till that point arrived and then I said it was cool talking to her and I didn't want to lose track of her in the bar, so she ought to give me her number. I totally thought I had it in the bag, but instead she just started mumbling, "well my friends are here so...." I then just said ok and then the girl walked ahead of me.

This just drives me crazy because I don't know what I did wrong. I suspect that the way I asked for her number made it too obvious she wasn't the only girl I was going to try to talk to tonight.

Some thoughts. I'm starting to notice I get burnt out on approaching after awhile if I try to do it more often. I need to work on seguing into asking for the number more smoothly for sure because I felt a lot of impatience tonight. Also, should you continue to try if the girl doesn't want to give out her number the first time you ask?

[Ringo]

(07-03-2016 02:13 AM)rapaz12 Wrote:  

I now see I have a major issue with physical contact and I don't really know how to work on it.

I notice this a lot with American guys (not sure if you are American or not but it seems recurrent). I used to have this to some degree but nowadays I'm very comfortable with it.

You need to be innoculated to it. Work on touching your friends on the arm and shoulder when you talk to them. Give people high fives and fist bumps, or elbow bump them lightly and wink when someone says something funny. Hug your family, tell them you love them, feel the connection, focus on the moment. Sign up for dance lessons and/or BJJ (nothing will get you more innoculated to human touch than having some sweaty guys stomach and crotch pressed against your face while he tries to choke you).

(07-30-2016 02:29 AM)rapaz12 Wrote:  

I need to work on seguing into asking for the number more smoothly for sure because I felt a lot of impatience tonight. Also, should you continue to try if the girl doesn't want to give out her number the first time you ask?

Are you dropping bait for a possible next meeting?

YOU: ...That's cool. Hey do you know if there's any good cafés around here? I'm a coffee addict and my favorite spot just closed down.
GIRL: Hmmm. There's one on X Street.
YOU: Cool, I've never been there. I love these tiny little places, they make the best espressos. How do you drinks yours?
GIRL: I like mine with a lot of cream and sugar.
YOU: Haha, I see I'll have to teach you to appreciate it. This line is moving pretty quick right? So, what do you... [insert other subject]

Then, when the conversation is about to die out, you ask her for her number inviting her to check out the coffee place with you.

As to insisting, it depends on her reaction and justification for not giving the number it at first.

Maybe she's just not comfortable with you yet - it happens a lot in Brazil, girls are always a bit suspicious because of high crime rates and scams. In that case yes, insist. Tease her about it (*serious face* "Why not? My grandma always says I'm a great catch *grins*) but keep building comfort and rapport. Just like you would if you tried to kiss a girl and got rejected: ignore the rejection, keep building up and teasing, and try again soon.

If the girl is just not into you and there's no connection, don't insist. No point in put an effort into something that has no potential, specially because according to the situation it could be considered harassment.

[rapaz12]

I was out today at a get together and I happened to meet this girl. She's from overseas so we chatted in her language quite a bit and we vibed really well.

I was a little nervous to ask for her number since asking for numbers in social circle situations usually seems to scary and off limits to me. But, I remembered a thread I read recently that told me how to ask for the number in this situation, so I told her we should meet up for a coffee.

To my surprise, she seemed super receptive and gave me her number without hesitation!!

Now comes the part I'm not sure on. What should I do next? I'm interested in seeing her again so that I can talk more and get to know her better.

My mind is spinning! I want to set a date for a meet with her again, but I don't know how to handle this. if I should call her today or just wait a couple days then and send her a text. Or call her tomorrow and set a day (should it be during the week or early in the day on a weekend????) Or call her tomorrow to set a date and then send her little texts until the day before the meet. There's also a little guided tour I'm going to in a park tomorrow in the evening. Would it be too soon to invite her to that?

What do I do?????

[rapaz12]

I talked it over with a friend and he told me to invite her to the tour. So I sent her a text and asked her if she wanted to go. She responded and asked me what time and then I said I wasn't sure, but I would call her later with the details. Afterwards, she asked me if there was info on the web about it and then she asked if I could link her to info on the event.

I started to think a little about how I could respond because my friend said to call her once she asked for more info, but then somehow I accidentally called her.

It was able to ring once but then out of panic, I hung up. I then checked with my friend again and he said to forget calling and go ahead and just send her the info and then tell her to let me know what she thinks.

I sent her the info and she responded that her battery was almost dead but she'd let me know.

Later on, she responded and said she was going to be busy this week, but thanks for the suggestion. I then responded a little later and said that it's fine and that we'd do something another time. She then responded "sure"

Should I forget her?

[Mojorisin808]

(10-15-2016 07:07 PM)rapaz12 Wrote:  

I talked it over with a friend and he told me to invite her to the tour. So I sent her a text and asked her if she wanted to go. She responded and asked me what time and then I said I wasn't sure, but I would call her later with the details. Afterwards, she asked me if there was info on the web about it and then she asked if I could link her to info on the event.

I started to think a little about how I could respond because my friend said to call her once she asked for more info, but then somehow I accidentally called her.

It was able to ring once but then out of panic, I hung up. I then checked with my friend again and he said to forget calling and go ahead and just send her the info and then tell her to let me know what she thinks.

I sent her the info and she responded that her battery was almost dead but she'd let me know.

Later on, she responded and said she was going to be busy this week, but thanks for the suggestion. I then responded a little later and said that it's fine and that we'd do something another time. She then responded "sure"

Should I forget her?

Whatever happen to this girl? Did you get her out on a date? How did it go?

[rapaz12]

Well, I texted her again the following Monday morning to ask about her weekend. I think my timing was probably bad as she was working. After that, we didn't send any messages back and forth until she sent me a message a week and a half later.

She wanted to tell me about some trip out of the state with her friends and then I indirectly told her I'd like to actually hear about the trip instead of texting. She dodged that and continued to text so we texted for a bit about her trip, what I was up to for the week, and other things.

Over the following three days we texted at pretty regular times and at one point she asked me if I would be going to the get together again where we met initially and I said yes. She said she planned on going too, so we left it at that.

On the day of the get together she didn't show up (surprise?) and she sent me a message saying she wouldn't be able to make it. I responded an hour or so later and then asked her about another event and then she said she can't go since lives with a host family and has no car. I didn't respond after that.

The next day(this Sunday) she wished me farewell on my trip and then I said thanks. We haven't communicated since.


I'm so tired of texting this girl. All I want to do is have a simple phone conversation. I'm thinking I might just go ahead and call Monday or Tuesday night when I return from my trip.

[sterling_archer]

^Similar to my experience this summer. Met a girl over social circle, we are (me, my friend, her) supposed to go on the vacation to his apartment. Me and this girl hit it off instantly and I tried to see opportunity to make my first close. Maybe opportunity came, maybe don't as it was impossible to isolate her from the rest of the friends. They were unintentionally cockblocking me.

Decided to ask her out when we all got home. She said yes, and texting was simply for details, where to meet and such. First meetup failed, on the second one, she asked me to meet on some sort of festival. This one also failed as I couldn't find her because of huge crowd and she DIDN'T WANT to come to a specific place there so we could easily meet. Then I realized I had to next her. I wanted to give her just one more chance and she blew it again.
Three strikes, she is out.

Bottom line is how she became flaky in my home city, basically refusing to even meet as a friends, let alone as a potential bang.

[rapaz12]

Well, my Japan trip's been a wash, but I wasn't really expecting much anyways because of massive language barriers. I arrived on Halloween and since I was too tired I missed out on meeting up with another RVFer. Since I realized I wasn't trying to night game I just focused more of my energy on just enjoying the trip which.....wasn't really that easy to do with women on my mind. So, I spent the majority of this trip with my head in the clouds.

While out with friends at a park on Wednesday, I met a French girl and chatted with her a bit. My friends then joined in on the conversation and then she ended up giving her Facebook to one of my foreign friends because I don't use it. I felt good to know I opened her, but I feel bad that I let my foreign friend take over. He's more experienced with women, so I feel like they automatically like him more and I just kind of give up when he starts talking.


After that day, I really didn't do much. Yesterday, I went to a mall and walked around a little bit and then chatted with this Taiwanese clerk a bit. The conversation seemed good and she was about a 6.5, but I gave up because I got tired of trying to converse with her and try on clothes I'd never buy. I don't really know how to transition very well.

After that, I got curious and decided to check out 109 mall. The mall really was basically seeming with women. After I checked out all the floors, I went and just kind of chilled the rest of the day.

Today, I finally smarted up and also tried to work on approaching with other travelers. Nearly every time I saw someone, I simply said "which country you coming from?". and just went from there.

I met one guy from Germany and chatted with him a little about Japan and then I opened a Columbian woman, but she wasn't trying to talk. Afterwards,
I met one guy with his girlfriend on a study abroad trip and chatted with them a bit. I then met a Peruvian dude at a game store that was really cold so I dropped that conversation quick.

My friends then wanted to check out more game stores, but I was sick of looking at nerdy stuff, so I broke away from them. I started walking and saw some chick texting while sitting down. She seemed....ok from afar, but up close I'd have to say she was a 5. Anyways, I opened her and found out she was from Canada.We chatted a little bit about travel experiences and then all of a sudden, her friends appeared... Before I knew it, I was chatting with six girls at once, none of them were lower than a 7, and I was freaking out like crazy on the inside.
My foreign friend then showed up and chatted with them a second, but then he left me alone again(wth?!). After he left, I chatted with the girls a little more and then we parted ways.

I then caught up with my foreign friend again and asked him why he split. He then admitted he left me out to dry because, I kid you not, I didn't say his name the way he wanted me to when I introduced him.....

After that, I walked around some more and went into a random store and saw some darker skinned 7 Indian chick talking with her friend. I then opened them and the friend said she was from Spain and the Indian chick said she was from the Netherlands. I chatted with them a little about different parts of Japan and then the Spanish chick ejected herself and left me with the Indian chick. I talked with her some more and then I realized I didn't know how to escalate the conversation and also that it wouldn't really lead anywhere since I'm leaving tomorrow, so I just ended the conversation.

I then went to the mall and tried opening a couple Japanese but I quickly re-realized it was a dumb idea. After that, I went into a 100 yen store to buy some souvenirs and happened to see a woman that looked kind of Russian. I opened her and chuckled at the fact she was actually walking around a store drinking some beer and she said she was from Florida, but that it isn't a country. I then chatted with her about how annoying it is to buy souvenirs and how we could find all sorts of cheap stuff in the store. After that, we parted ways.

Later on in the day, I went to buy some train tickets. I noticed this group of way older Brazilian Japanese women talking with a slamming full blooded Brazilian woman leading them around that was my age. I then opened them and asked where they were from and they told me Brazil and then I chatted with them about my time and experiences there and now in Japan. I mainly focused on the one of the older women since I couldn't think of how to transition to the younger woman. Ultimately, I ended the conversation without saying anything to the woman I wanted to. I surprisingly later ran into them again on the elevator at my hotel and chatted with them a little more.





I

[rapaz12]

Ok. I called the girl from the get together tonight. She seemed bothered that I called her and actually asked why I called her and then said, "I thought we were just texting". I then explained myself and then I talked to her a little bit about my trip, but she seemed like she was just trying to get off the phone. Finally, she said she was tired and then asked if we could text. I then told her I just wanted to talk a little before I went to bed and that wasn't necessary. After that, I just said goodbye.

I'm getting annoyed about this and I really think it's impossible to build anything real like this. I really don't think I'm going to get anywhere with this woman. So I'm thinking I'm just going to give up on her.

My thoughts are however that I shouldn't have tried to explain my reasons for calling her and just owned it.

[sterling_archer]

NEXT.

[rapaz12]

The same girl sent me a text the next day and I finally just straight up told her I'm sick of texting. She then responded and suggested a meet up. I told her where we could meet and when. So, we finally got together today at a coffee shop.

She showed up on time. I offered to buy her something but she declined. We then sat down at a circular table with me taking a chair closest to her. We chatted about my trip, her job, and other things.

However, she started to mess with her phone more and more as the conversation progressed. She kept talking about her friends sending her texts and how she was waiting for them to pick her up. It really started to bug me, but I didn't know what to say or do about it. Eventually, she started talking about a message her friend sent her where the friend suggested taking a walk to check out shirtless guys.

After this, we talked a little more. I started to notice her looking away more and more. Soon, her ride showed up, she gathered up her stuff really quick, gave me a quick hug, and then she left.

A few minutes later she sent me a text saying she was sorry she had to leave the way she did. Then, I just replied "ok".

[sterling_archer]

Seriously, girl disrespects you and you put up with this shit.

[Mufasa]

http://www.rooshv.com/the-roosh-program

Quote:

I want to share a game program for those of who are starting from scratch, regardless of age. It’s not meant to turn you into a Casanova, but it will quickly take your game above the mainstream average. It’s also useful for beta males who just got dumped. Every step in the program is essential and must be followed if you want it to be effective. Here we go…

[rapaz12]

After my trip down to Florida, I have a new found desire to start approaching after a three or so month hiatus.

Today, I started out by talking to a guy that was with this nice looking short blonde. I chatted with him about clothing and people that start their own clothing lines. After a little bit off back and forth, he asked me for my name and then I asked for his and then I asked for the girls name and then introduced myself. They then left after that.

Later, during lunch I saw two women seated at a table next to me in a restaurant. One was definitely a little fat but the other one was smaller and a lot more attractive. So, I decided to open them by remarking that I always order the plate the fat chick was eating. I was hoping I could transition it to a conversation, but instead the fat chick just repeated what I said to the other woman and then they started talking to each other.

At the end of work, as I was returning to my car, I saw a woman and commented on the changing colors of the trees. She didn't really bite.

Later, I went out to an event and met a woman that was a friend of a co-worker. She was probably 20 or 21, but anyways she was a little shy in the beginning, but as we talked she started to open up more. We talked about school, sports, city life, and traveling and then eventually she told me she wasn't American, but that she can't speak any foreign languages.

We then walked around and played a couple games together and then I started thinking about how I always wuss out on the number so I asked her if she was thinking about leaving yet. She said not for a little bit, but because I didn't want to miss her before she left I just went ahead and asked for her number and told her we should go to a coffee shop. She seemed a little caught off guard and then threw out a "do you have a Facebook" line which I quickly declined and then she asked for my phone and then I gave it to her and she put her number in.

We hung out for a little while longer with other people in tow, but I felt like she became more reserved. She didn't want to engage as much and she tried to avoid engaging in more than short conversations with me. So, we played a few more games together and then she left.

I then decided to chat up a bartender. She was a decent looking thin brunette. I opened by asking for a drink and then I asked her about the differences in the places where she bartends. We chatted a little about that and then about some interesting drinks in other bars and then we started to talk about the area a little. After that, I went and asked her for her name and then after a slight pause she asked for my name. Then after that, I think she figured what was up and then politely excused herself to help another customer.

Also, I sent my number to the foreign woman later tonight but just said my name. She then quickly replied goodnight and then that was that.

[rapaz12]

Started out the day joking with a woman when I got on the elevator. I told her I'd take 10 which made her think to press floor 10, but then I said, "no, 10 ten dollars" and kept a serious face. She laughed about it and then walked out.

Then, near the end of my workday I went for a walk and noticed this slim brunette with a nice body looking lost. I was going to skip her, but I couldn't pass up the open. Anyways, I asked her if she was lost and she said yes and that she was looking for some lawyer. I then helped her look up the place she wanted in her phone and pointed her the way, but she said the place that came up was a place she already went. I then walked with her to where I guess she had to go, but I never really got any conversation going since I got a little stuck in my head and started thinking it would be bad since she might be trying to make it to an appointment. After we got to the place she said thanks and we parted ways.

Later in the day I went out to check out some art galleries with friends. While browsing, I opened quite a few solid women. The first were these two girls who were checking out a weird picture. I asked if they had been to this gallery before and then they said yea. I then asked them if they were artists themselves and one of the girls said yes. She then commented that the art we were looking at must've been drawn by someone on drugs and then she went on to say that she's trippy enough to make art like this without drugs. I joked with her about it a little and then I got stuck in my head trying to think about how to transition. So, the conversation grew stale and then the girls excused themselves.

After that I chatted with some random couples and then I saw another girl. I opened her by asking what she thought when she saw the art she was looking at. I can't remember what all was said but I know I failed to transition off of art though. So, the conversion just ended.

We then left the gallery and I chatted with one of the women I was checking the galleries out with. She was attractive, but she definitely had that,"I'm not in the mood to be out" presence to her. So I occasionally spoke to her as the night progressed.

We then went to another gallery and I opened a couple women. The first one was looking at this odd art and I opened her by asking what she saw. She then commented that she saw a plant. I then told her that I couldn't see it at all. I then rambled a little more about not being able to see what she saw then I got tired of it and moved on. The next girl was looking at more weird art (there's a pattern) and I opened her the same way. We chatted a little about her interpretation of the picture and other stuff I forget, but I'm pretty sure I failed to transition to less mundane topics.

We then went to another gallery and I opened three women. I opened the first the same way as the others and rambled about her interpretations and mine, but then I got sick of rambling and failed to think of a way to transition, and then walked off.

I then opened an employee and we talked about her job there, movies, what led her to this job, and also other forms of expression. Unfortunately, I couldn't think about how to draw the conversation on longer, so I let it die and went on my way.

I then went to look at some other art and noticed the hotter friend of one of the girls I opened here earlier standing nearby out of the corner of my eye. I opened her the same way and then we talked about all the hidden symbols and animals in a painting. I couldn't think of how to confine the conversation another direction, so once again, I walked off.

I lastly spent a little more time chatting up one of the women I was out with. We all went to sit down in a restaurant with me sitting next to her. She was still the same way however; answering my questions, but not really trying to go deeper, annoyed body posturing, etc. She then at one point started to tell me something, but then she touched me multiple times as she did. I then later on moved my legs around and purposely touched hers. She then later touched me while adjusting her legs. After that, nothing else happened.

[rapaz12]

Started out today in a restaurant for breakfast. Opened the cashier and talked about how not all the pancakes they serve are all that tasty.

After that, I then went to the mall and into a store and noticed a guy that was struggling a little to converse with a woman. I then looked a little closer at the woman and realized I knew her, so I opened her and we caught up on things a little. We chatted about some trips she'd done and also her recent career changes and then a clerk came to assist her. I thought to ask for her number, but then I wussed out and decided not to do it.

After that I strolled around the mall trying on coats(I actually meant to do this) and asking various women how the clothes looked on me. Some responde and others kind of peered at me and kept it moving. I also played dumb a lot asking how to get to places I was headed to anyways.

I then got some food at the food court. There were two girls in line in front of me chatting and I noticed one was an attractive brunette but the other kind of looked like a lesbian. Eventually, the brunette walked off and the other chick stayed in line, so I figured I might as well practice and went ahead opened her. I realized pretty quickly that she was pretty attractive upon closer inspection, but anyways, we chatted about her job in the mall and phones for a bit, but then she got her food and left.

After I finished my food, I got up and headed out to leave, but then I noticed an attractive blonde woman by herself in a videogame store. I figured she was gift shopping, so I went ahead and opened her to see where I could go. She said she was in there looking for a game for a little girl, so I suggested some stuff to her, but she seemed a little apprehensive about talking. I then kept on talking and I did notice her relax a little more, but then soon after what I guess was her husband showed up. I then made a couple more suggestions and walked off.

In the store I also noticed a group of three girls looking clueless, so I chatted them up too. They didn't seem like they wanted to talk either, so that was that.

I lastly checked out the bookstore. Everyone was either too young or too old, so it was pretty much a bust. On the way out, I checked out some cds and noticed the clerk was there scanning them or something. She was probably a good 6.5. I opened by asking her what she was doing and then we ended up talking about the music business, movies, and tv shows. I then tried to fish a little by asking what movie theatre she usually goes to, but she didn't really list any particular ones. We then continued some more and then I asked her for her name, but she didn't ask for mine. After a little bit more she finally excused herself.

It was a surprising conversation to me because I felt pretty clear headed the entire time. Also, when I finally checked, I realized I talked almost a half hour with her. Next time I gotta keep better track of time.

[rapaz12]

Well, I waited about a week to message my co-workers friend. She responded that she was wondering when she'd hear from me. I then sent a couple forced text messages (I really really hate texting) over the next couple days.

After all that, I tried to organize a meet up for the weekend. She seemed responsive, but she wanted me to pick her up and I didn't want to do it. I then discussed it a little further and convinced her to drive herself and we settled on a place and I told her a time, but she just said she'd talk to me later on.

Nothing happened though. The following day, she messaged me to say she wanted to meet me but she decided to call everything off since she said hit it off with someone else.

Lessons? I think I made a bad call waiting 5 or so days to message her and maybe I should've texted her a little more. Also, I still have to work on assuming I blew it early. That's a big part of the reason I waited so long to send the initial text...

[rapaz12]

I'm slowly starting to put myself out again. Last night turned out pretty good.

I was laying down a little after work thinking about just staying home. Then I remembered there was some stuff going on downtown, so first I sent a message to some friends about meeting up, but as usual they weren't trying to do anything. After that, I started to think "man, I don't have the energy to go out alone" but then I made a decision to just commit to spend 2 hours out and then just come right back home.

I then headed out and stopped by an art gallery. When I went in, I saw a security guard I chopped it up with previously. We chatted a little about goals and business and then I headed off and started looking at art. I started to feel really uncomfortable because there were a lot of people there, so then I started to focus more on just looking at the art instead of thinking about trying to open anyone.

I then went to another gallery and I felt a little less anxious by then. Once I got in this gallery, I started to look at some stuff and these two girls came over and started discussing what I was looking at. One was a brunette that didn't look too bad and the other was thin and light skinned but she was pretty bland. I wasn't going to say anything, but then I noticed they had a totally random interpretation of the picture and then I asked them if they were joking because I didn't think it was nearly as deep as they thought. We then talked a little about interpretations and I could see the brunette was wanting me to say more, but I started to get a little anxious and stopped talking. After that, the brunette wished me goodbye.

A little while later, I heard another girl talking nearby. I knew she wasn't American, but I couldn't peg her accent. I waited until she got close and then asked her where she was from and she said India. We then talked a good bit about school, travel, and languages.

I noticed that the conversation flowed really good. I was already stressing in my mind about asking for the number, but right then her friends showed up. They mentioned leaving and then she asked me if I wanted to tag along with them and I agreed. I then got to talk to all them as the night progressed and I realized that they were all pretty cool and easygoing also. We went a couple places and then ended up in a cool and quiet little bar and sat down and ended up chatting for a long time.

At the end, I exchanged numbers. I got the girl's number and also some others since I thought it actually would be cool to seem them again. I also realized I ended up being out for 4 hours instead of 2.

This night really re taught me how to approach groups and also how to just enjoy the company of people without making gaming a primary goal.

[Turnus]

^^^^

Great job with that last night! You got introduced to a new group of girls, got some numbers, etc. Way to expand your social circle after thinking nothing was going to come out of the night.

[rapaz12]

Ok, I went out on a coffee date with the girl from India.

The day we initially met, she sent me a message saying it was nice to meet and then the following day, I sent some messages to ask her what she was up to. I felt she wasn't enthusiastic nor really interested in me, so I didn't say anymore to her.

On Tuesday, I met with my trainer and discussed her. He read our short text convo and concluded I didn't give her anything to go on in our conversation and strongly suggested I try to initiate a date. I figured it would be too late to try and reinitiate, but I sent her a message and she surprisingly said she was up for a meet. We then arranged to meet today.

She arrived on time looking great and I greeted her with a hug. I bought her a drink and we conversed about 30 minutes and during the conversation, I tried to make light contact by bumping her arm from time to time and touching her on the shoulder. I don't really feel like she reciprocated much though. I also realized I failed to comment on her appearance so about half way through the conversation, I remarked how nice she looked.

After the first thirty minutes was up, I suggested a walk. We then left the coffee shop and walked around and chatted for another half hour about her health, family, studies, and other things. I showed her a couple places and continued to make light touches here and there, but I still didn't notice much of a reciprocation. However, I couldn't see that she was bothered by it, so I guess that's good.

After this, I walked her back to her car. We chatted some more and then I gave her a hug goodbye. The hug didn't feel really strong though. She then said that it was fun and said bye. In response, I said bye and that I'd see her next time.

Although I had a decent time and the conversation was good, I really don't know where I stand with this girl. I couldn't really get a good read if she's into me, sees me as a friend, or would rather not speak to me again.

[rapaz12]

Updates.

I've been taking some small steps to change my career and I'm getting more responsibilities at work and I feel like it's had a positive impact on me. I feel less miserable and I've started to try to open more people around me again in my everyday life too.

The chick I went on a date with in my last post never really led to anything. I sent an after date text later in the day that I had good time and hoped she did too, but she didn't respond until the next night. I then went no contact a few days and then wished her a happy Valentine's, but I never heard a response.
After chatting with someone more game aware about my kino attempts during the date, he said it was probably not a good idea.

Last night was cool. I went to an event and got to mingle with lots of cool people. Some of them spoke Spanish so I got to practice a lot of Spanish also. Anyways, I started chatting with one girl that was with a couple of dudes and she was mildly interesting, but what bugged me was how the dudes kept scowling at me while I was talking to her. I didn't want to let it affect me, but I noticed the conversation really suffered because I kept focusing on their reactions to me rather than the girl's reaction to me herself.

Later, a couple fine Latin Americans showed up. They both spoke good English, so I didn't really try to open them in Spanish. One guy who was a native Spanish speaker I chatted with earlier started chatting with them and I just listened while they spoke. Eventually the guy pointed out I knew Spanish, but the women's reaction to his comment seemed to be more of annoyance and apprehension towards me when they turned to speak to me.

I talked with them a little bit, but not for long as basically every other dude started congregating around them. I stuck around in the huddle for a few minutes, but I realized it was probably a waste of time to devote energy to the group conversation since everyone seemed to be trying to grab the women's attention.

I then broke away and decided to just talk to other people. I met lots of people with interesting stories and also did a little networking too.

After that, i left for a bar to meet up with some friends. When I got there, my friend wanted to play a couple games, but Ireally wasn't in the mood, so I had my eyes on a swivel for more interesting things. So, I eventually laid eyes on this thick brunette chick at the counter. She gave me some strong eye contact and a smile and after a pass by without talking to her, I eventually decided to take the plunge and open her.

I was super nervous, so all I could think to open with was hi. We talked a little about what she normally does on Friday nights and then I sat down next to her. I then asked for a water since I don't drink and then she asked if I was a dd, but for some weird reason I got nervous and decided to lie and say yea. I then tried to practice kino with some light touches on her arm and then she mentioned one of her tattoos and upon looking at it, I made a point to touch the tattoo as I was looking at it.

We talked a little more and then at one point I said something that surprised her. She then grabbed my hand, pulled me in, and placed it on her lap while she spoke. We then somehow got to the subject of hooking up and then she started to imply that it's happened but only when she's gotten the right "triggers". After that, we talked about her personal life a little, which raised lots of red flags and then this couple nearby started kissing next to her and then she gave me this long focused look and then started commenting how awkward it was. I then pulled out my phone for us to take a selfie together, pulled her in close, and got her number after the picture.

I hit that point where I feel like the conversation is drawing to long and then I decided to leave for a sec and play some games with my friend. After I played, I chilled for a little and opened a couple random people nd then decided to leave. Before I left, I went back to the counter and the chick gave me a really tight hug goodbye, gave me this look, and then she said she was about to leave to but was waiting on her cab....

I feel like that was my cue to offer a ride to her place, but the "good guy" inside me decided not to take the option, so I wished her a goodnight and left.

My issue is that I want sex but I feel guilty for it, so what happens is that I keep shooting myself in the foot or bailing whenever it seems things could get more heated. This bothered me a lot as I left the bar because I WANTED IMMENSELY to take things all the way to the end with every fiber of my being and I was running all sorts of things in my mind about what I'd do to her.

[rapaz12]

Lots of disappointments.

This past week, I've gone out with three women.

Date #1
Went to the movies with a chick I've known for awhile, but maintain sporadic contact with.

It started out with her messaging me out of the blue. She asked me if I wanted to see this newer movie, and since I had nothing else going on, I agreed. This chick is cool and easy to talk to, but she just doesn't do anything for me at all attraction wise. So, we just watched the movie and then chatted a little afterwards, then hugged and parted ways.

Date #2
The single mom.

This is the woman I talked about in another thread, that I was uncertain about whether I should pursue something with or not.

It started with her indirectly suggesting I take her out for food. I then decided to take the hint and suggested we go to a restaurant she mentioned to me before. I met her up there and we talked about some travel plans and her job and then the bill came. I looked at it and noticed it was a lot of cash and contemplated asking to split it, but then decided it would look bad and went ahead and paid it all. She was appreciative and taken aback I decided to pay it all.

After awhile longer, we finally got up and left. We then lingered outside a bit and conversed while I furiously contemplated whether I should kiss her or not. After a little bit more talking, she got tired of waiting on me to make a move and just went and gave me a hug. After that, she wished me a good week and we parted ways.

In my mind, I couldn't kiss her because I was afraid to and because I'm just not sure if I want to pursue a relationship with her.

Date #3
This was the chick from the bar in my prior post.

The lead up:
I decided to text her on advisement from someone and then we started to communicate. I managed to slip in some suggestive jokes and I even managed to get a sexy pic or two from her. We conversed a bit over the phone in the next few interactions and then she also indirectly suggested that I ask her out. I once again took the hint and suggested we go out to a small cafe for something to drink.

The date:
I was really nervous and I failed to take charge at basically every point of the interaction.

We got something to drink and then I looked around for a seat in another area, but she chose where she wanted to sit and did not follow me to where I wanted to go.So, I went back to where she chose to sit.

We then talked about an hour and I slowly started to feel a little more relaxed. The girl had a very talkative personality, so it was easy to talk to her about things. In addition, she also dropped a couple red flags on me with some talk about personality issues.

After about an hour, she asked me if we were going to get something to eat or just leave. I started to panic a little because I couldn't think of where to eat and then deferred to her and she picked a place.

We then went to the place she picked. Since I felt like things were going ok, I offered to pay for the food. We got our food and then talked some more and I was really feeling good....up until she asked me about kids. Since I'm not worried about them, I told her I didn't want them to which she quickly changed her mood and retorted that we could not date. After that, we discussed it a little about her ticking clock and then we got up and left.

I then walked her to her car and she gave me a hug (another one....) and then repeated again that it would be nice if we could be friends and hang out more in the future and then she left.

-------
After all this, I just feel low. I want to have experience in a relationship with someone, but I don't want to have to deal with this question of kids and marriage. Since I'm nearly thirty, I have this fear that my options have basically dwindled to nothing but what I got now; nice girls that do nothing for me sexually, single mothers, or women looking to lock a man down for good.

In addition, I keep thinking I've missed out on my chance for a simple relationship since I wasted all my teens and early twenties being afraid of women.

[rapaz12]

I'm restarting again.

Was in a dour mood all day because of a combination of personal issues and a lot of skipped approaches due to fear. Got home and then fell asleep for a little bit and then woke up and tried to chat with a couple people online but I realized I needed to get the heck outta the house and do some real social practice.

After that, I went out to a bar and chatted with the bartender a bit. Heard some genuinely funny stories and then went on to another bar. On the way saw a tatted up brunette walking her dog and tried to open her by remarking her dog looks like a famous dog. She responded while still walking and then she left.

Got to the other bar. Tried to chat with security a little bit, but he wasn't in the mood. Moved on and sat at the bar and chatted with the bartender a bit and then a couple other people and got an interesting book recommendation.

Saw a group people playing a game. I hesitated a little, but I started thinking about how I need to do it and approached the group. I opened by asking how the game was going and the people were quite friendly and invited me to join in. I joined in and played a game and joked with them a little and then we chatted a little about travel and then I left.

All in all, not very eventful, but I discovered a new game I like to play, got some much needed social time, and ended the day feeling happier knowing I made myself happier instead of sitting around miserable.