[Jetset]

(03-06-2017 09:19 PM)rapaz12 Wrote:  

After all this, I just feel low. I want to have experience in a relationship with someone, but I don't want to have to deal with this question of kids and marriage. Since I'm nearly thirty, I have this fear that my options have basically dwindled to nothing but what I got now; nice girls that do nothing for me sexually, single mothers, or women looking to lock a man down for good.

In addition, I keep thinking I've missed out on my chance for a simple relationship since I wasted all my teens and early twenties being afraid of women.

This is what this forum is trying to address.

You're nearly thirty, not nearly seventy. You're far from hitting your peak marketability to women, not just as a provider but as a man who women can look up to as an authority, status symbol, and leader.

OK, so you slept through some drunk party years with idiots, but so what? Are you lifting weights and dressing well? Also, you will soon be banging your way through the first major wave of divorces among women who married early, so you have that to look forward to.

I haven't read everything, but in your most recent posts, it seems like some of your approaches fall off without making your intentions understood. The one girl who seemed "confused" probably spent five minutes trying to figure out whether you wanted to fuck her or not and then sought you out and re-engaged you herself because she was down and wanted you to step on the gas.

If it feels like it's going well, maybe try changing "you're cool, can I get your number" to something like putting your hand on her upper arm lightly and saying...

"This conversation is a lot of fun and I want to keep it going. I've got a couple of things I've got to do now but give me your number and I'll take you for a drink tonight."

Not dinner. She doesn't eat your food until you nut, and even then, make it takeout on the couch, just a refueling stop to build comfort in your place until you bang her again. If she tries to convert into dinner, tell her you've got a "work thing" or "school thing" but want to meet her after. You're busy and in demand.

The unspoken "oh darn, your time's up, I have more important things to deal with than you and you're gonna lose me forever if you don't do what I say right now" subtext will help make sure she complies if she's interested. Then actually get lost and go about your man business until you hit her up later. Keep soldiering forward.

[rapaz12]

Good point Jetset. I'll try to do this next time when I lay my eyes on someone I really want, but to be honest, I asked for her number purely for practice and to see that it's not hard to ask for numbers. The chick wasn't ugly but she honestly want my type.

Today I realized that it's important to acknowledge women. I saw a woman at a restaurant I frequent that was warm to my prior approach on a day prior, but for some silly reason I thought she would acknowledge me today. Of course, she didn't, so I'll have to do it for sure if I see her tomorrow.

I skipped quite a few approaches today. A couple were in groups and one was alone, but I got cold feet.

Later in the day, I approached a woman in the street. She was walking her dog and she looked to be mid 30s. I opened her by joking her small dog was vicious and then we discussed dogs for a little bit. After that, I asked her where she was from since I sensed she was visiting in town and then she told me she was there with her husband. Of course, that was a little odd since she didn't have a wedding ring....Anyways, we talked a little more after she told me and then I wished her a good day.

I got home and was once again feeling a little sour after wasting time online. I then decided I'd go eat out in a little café instead of eating dinner alone at home like always. I decided to bring my laptop and work on some music to occupy my time. As I worked on a song, I felt my mood improving and I even got to practice languages with a group of older women in the cafe. I saw one woman enter with amazing breasts but she went and sat with a group of people and I also noticed one woman alone, but by the time I decided to deal with the fear and approach, she was out the door.

[Jetset]

A couple of thoughts:

- It might help you to remember that women almost all have more severe social anxiety than any of us do. After you talk to her, she'll spend the rest of the day trying to figure out why you said what you said, and even why she said what she said. Don't ascribe them too much power in the interaction, and don't get confused into thinking they want you to. They'd prefer a narrative where everything happened through emotional magic and nothing is their responsibility.



- Following up on this, the woman who mentioned her husband. If he's actually on the street with her, OK, but otherwise, if he's just back at the hotel or something, I'd keep playing her like I didn't hear her. Some women will mention the existence of their "boyfriend"/"husband" so that they can tell themselves later that they tried not to cheat. For these women, it's an invisible force field that lets her do stupid shit and then play dumb when a dick comes crashing through. ("I'll send him some nudes/meet him for one drink/check out his hotel room. He knows nothing can ACTUALLY happen. I SAID I was married.") At the very least, she's still good practice.

- As for acknowledging women, yes, but always know when to withdraw your attention, too. Once her interest level is high enough, she'll try to find ways to demand your attention and failing to reward her will just make her try harder, especially if it's in a setting that you have "on lock" and the women there talk about you. There's a small group of female coworkers I do this with at the company headquarters and it's unbelievable how effective it is. It's fine to open and restart with conversation, but always reward the behavior you want, don't reward her with more attention for blowing you off or making you work harder.

[rapaz12]

More great points Jetset. Thanks a lot.

Today I didn't approach much at all. The fear is really starting to take over again. Multiple times today I saw women I wanted to open but this time the issue was that I was in a conversation with another person. I met a dude I hadn't seen in awhile and multiple women walked by I wanted to open, but I was afraid it would be rude to completely cut him off and start talking to them. It was horrible because one woman even walked up next to me and waited to cross the street even though I could tell she didn't need to wait on the signal.

After I finished talking with the guy I walked around some more and told myself to open someone. The first person I saw was a woman that was a little older, but I figured I needed the practice so I opened her. I immediately noticed she actually worked at my job and she was just someone that was recently hired. We just talked a bit and then parted ways once I got back to work.

Later in the day, I went out to an event. I decided I wanted to invite a foreign friend with me because I figured it would be a great chance to practice some French. However, as I said earlier, the same issue arose. I wanted to open women but I felt like I would look like a bad person in the eyes of my friend since he's an older dude and I didn't want to be rude, so my opening was greatly diminished.

We went to one area and I saw a woman working there I saw another time and I could tell she remembered me. I talked to her a little and I could tell she seemed receptive, but I got nervous and cut the conversation short. Later, while we were walking there was an art performance and I saw a couple milfs together watching it. I opened them and asked if they'd buy the art, but they weren't very responsive. I then switched gears later and talked to another woman about the art and how my friend told me it was very simplistic. She also didn't seem very open.

I hope to make up for these unrealized approaches by diving into the deep end and doing some night game approaches tomorrow.

[rapaz12]

This past Saturday, I did some approaches.

I started out the day by grabbing a bite to eat. While in line to pay, I chatted with one guy about various stuff and then by my surprise he said he'd pay for my meal. That's a nice bonus for being social.

After I finished eating, I went to the Barnes and noble. I was a little nervous so I went awhile without opening anyone. Also, I didn't like it because I felt like the employees were watching me sincethey kept popping up near me while I was scanning the aisles. Eventually I started talking to an older woman about cooking since we were looking at cookbooks.

After I loosened up after that, I opened an attractive but a bit thin brunette. I started a fake conversation on my phone about a book someone was looking for to get close to her and then I opened her by asking her a question about her watch and if it was one of those fitbits everyone uses these days. She said yes, and then I mentioned how I wanted one to do a poor man's sleep study. After that, we talked a little more and I walked off.

On the way out the door I noticed a woman on her phone that smiled at me as she went in. I got in my car and started looking through my phone for messages and when I looked up, I saw the same woman again in the car next to me. I thought hard about knocking on her passenger window to get her attention, but I got frozen with anxiety.

After that I went to the store. While there, I noticed another brunette woman looking at birthday cards. I looked at a couple cards and then opened her by mentioning I'd rather buy a card than a gift. She said she was actually there buying a last minute card and gift, so then I asked her who it was for. After she told me, we stopped talking. I looked a little longer and then wished her luck finding a card and left.

My main takeaways are that I must try to push my interactions further and also think less when it comes to approaching.

[rapaz12]

Today was cool.

While I was at work, I made a couple approaches. One was this blonde with a tight body just walking down the street towards me. However, since my mind was blank, I made a feeble attempt at commenting on her outfit. She smiled but hurriedly continued walking.

Later on, I approached another woman. She was pretty thick and walking down the street in front of me. Eventually I managed to gain on her and I mentioned how the weather was better today than it has been lately.(everything said was said while walking) She seemed receptive and commented a little bit on how she's noticed the weather improving. After that, my mind went blank and we stopped talking for a little while. Eventually we came to a crossroad and I wished her a good day.

Should I keep walking and talking in these instances or stop and hope the woman does also?


I then used the same opener on another woman. She seemed like she wanted to say more to me but she was entering a coffee shop. however, I didn't want to go in since I didn't want to buy anything or try to stop her from entering. I think next time I'll just go ahead and go in and buy the cheapest thing on the menu.....



After work, I resolved to dedicate thirty minutes to the grocery store. Once inside, I opened many people by having a fake phone conversation to explain why I'm near them and then after I ended the "conversation" I remarked to the women about what the person on the phone wanted me to buy. I opened one woman that was a little bit older but still pretty attractive and I tried to start a conversation about spicy foods, but she didn't really seem to be biting.

I then opened an attractive woman later on walking with her kids. I opened by asking if the product I was looking at was cheaper in Wal-Mart. She said she wasn't sure since she hates the crowds there and then I said something else I forgot and then she walked away.

[rapaz12]

Two interesting things happened today. The first was that when I got on the elevator, an attractive woman was on. I opened her by asking what was on the floors above me and then this is when it got interesting. She turned her body towards me, craned her head over, and with unyielding eye contact, she told me what was above and chatted a little with me, then she got off. She NEVER broke her eye contact though. That was it, but It amazed and surprised me at the same time because I didn't know what was going on and my head was screaming "ask for her number! Ask for lunch! Ask for something! She likes you!" However, at the same time, I was thinking "no no this can't really be happening."

Later, I went to volunteer. As I was leaving the place after finishing, a woman working there stopped me, said hello, and asked how I was. I was confused because she said it as if we met before but I didn't remember her. She then mentioned that she didn't know why but she remembered me. After that, she mentioned some things about me that I told her when we met initially. So we talked about some places I may have met her and then eventually she mentioned an event she was working at where I talked to her and then I remembered. We awkwardly spoke a little bit more and all the while my mind was screaming "she likes you! No-one would remember you or these things about you if they didn't like you! Especially if you met over a month ago!". Then we exchanged our names. I think maybe she liked me, but I'll try to talk to her more next time I volunteer.


Due to limited experiences, I never try to get too excited about anything. Thus, as a fear of misreading signals, I always assume that "maybe this woman really isn't into me and I'm getting this wrong. It's probably safer to assume she's not into me and not act on this."
-------------------------

I've done maybe ten or twelve street approaches this week. The issue I keep running into is that I can't progress past my opener. I generally open by asking for directions for a place that I know is very close by and then I make a comment about the place I'm going. For example, I'll ask for directions to a coffee shop, and then I'll confirm with them that it's a good quality place by stating how "someone told me it's good" and seeing what they tell me. After this, the interaction ends after less then a minute or two.

I think I'm failing to ramble and walking away to soon out of nervousness for doing the interaction. Perhaps I should try to just ramble after they tell me where the place is regardless if they just say one word or many words...

I've also tried to open by saying hi or hello, but I normally just get frowned at or ignored.

[rapaz12]

Did a little day game which mainly amounted to comments on women's outfits. I also met a cool group of dudes from Spain so that was nice too.

Tonight I decided to do some night game. I was starving after working a long time on my car, so I figured I could kill two birds with one stone and grab a bite to eat and nightgame while I was at it.

I started out by sitting at grill/bar and ordering my food. While I waited, I chatted to a group of dudes out of town and then I switched gears and chatted with this woman. She talked with me a little and then mentioned she had a boyfriend, and then a dude in back of us mentioned something, so I brought him into the conversation. The woman then left and her cute friend showed up. The friend kept smiling and I could tell she wanted to be included in the conversation between me and the guy. Eventually, she popped in when he said something funny and wacky and I diverted my attention from the guy to her. We then chatted for a good while and then eventually she said she was going to sit with her friends, but she wasn't going to leave the place.

At that moment, I felt I should try to snag her number, but I stopped and figured it would be bad timing so I didn't. I told myself I could get her number before she left. So I waited until she said goodbye to her friends and walked out ahead of her.

Then.....I just.....froze. My mind started running a thousand miles again and then I started to think I would creep her out asking for her number outside the bar and a million other things. Afterwards, I just watched her walk away in a daze because I didn't know the right way to ask for her number until eventually there was no way to catch her...

I then went back inside and opened a couple other women by commenting on the festivities for the night. After that, my friend showed up, and we left the bar.

We then headed to another bar. On the way, I saw a large group of women with one dude and opened them. The dude said they were all out celebrating one of the women's birthday. I then congratulated the woman(, who was hot) and joked a little with her and then we went separate ways.

We then arrived at the next bar. We played games for a little and then I noticed a woman that looked familiar. I then asked her if she worked at a place I ate at, but she wasn't sure and said another place. I let her go and then my friend told me I should've said that I knew her from the place she mentioned instead. Another missed opportunity.

To my surprise the group from earlier entered the bar. They minded their own business, but a little later the group moved closer to me and my friend. After that, the dude in the group came over and reengaged me and let me know everyone was from out of town. He made a point to pull everyone's attention back to me and then it hit me the dude was trying to help me out.

My mind then screamed at me to open a woman in the group based on what he told me and I did.The woman I opened didn't have much to say, so I got nervous about coming off as a creep, so I decided I wouldn't try to open anyone else in the group anymore and then went back to chatting with my friend.

We then decided to end the night at one last place. Before we went in, we chatted with the bouncer for a little bit about the bar. After that we went in and looked around. We then stopped and listened to the music. While listening, I noticed a shorter attractive woman just standing by herself off to the side. I opened her and joked that she looks like she doesn't know whether she wants to dance or run away. She then chuckled and then mentioned this was her first time in this club. After that, I asked where she was from and she mentioned another city and state. We talked a little more after that, but then my mind got overwhelmed by all the loud music and I couldn't think of what to do next. I probably should've asked for her number since where she lives is a place I'm thinking about going later this year.

All this today really teaches me one thing. My biggest block to my success is....myself. I gotta stop sabotaging myself and letting prospects walk away without at least asking for a number. I also have to stop looking for the ultimate perfect moment to ask for a number.

[rapaz12]

Got a number!

After yesterday's dumb mistakes, I had it in my mind that I needed to think less when shooting for the number. Thus, I decided I was NOT going to approach without going for a number.

On the way home today, I stopped at a store to get some toothpaste. While at the store, I was walking and I saw a woman looking at stuff with her kid. She had a decent body on her and her face looked good, so without skipping a beat I walked over.

I stared at some stuff in her vicinity for a little bit and then I commented that I hadn't done a coloring book in forever. She chuckled and said she likes to do them and then I commented to her that I heard about an adult coloring meetup (I read about it in someone's post here! Haha). After that, I mentioned an art event that I know about and then she said she's never heard of it and then she mentioned how she doesn't do much but chill with her son and work. I then mentioned some stuff about travel and then threw out a "by the way, what's your name...?" She told me and then I said mine and then I went back to speaking to her normally for a little bit more about travel. I finally decided it was time to ask once a good lull in the convo appeared and then I told her we should check out the art event I knew about together. She said she'd love to and then asked me to take her number down and then that was it!

I feel that this really reinforces to me that gaming where it feels natural to you is important. Because in the end, why should I make things harder than they already are for me?

[rapaz12]

Got too excited too soon. I sent the woman from yesterday a message asking how it's going, but she never replied. I don't know if it's because I was tired yesterday night, No-one was speaking online, or what, but it left me feeling a bit dejected throughout the day.

I eventually decided moping wasn't going to change anything so I went to eat in a café. The food was good, but there wasn't anything but old people around so I just took the time to withdraw from gaming and read a book for a bit.

I then decided to leave and walk to a coffee shop nearby. I told myself this was mainly about getting comfortable in the environment so I didn't worry about approaching.

Eventually, while I was sitting on a shared couch reading, a woman plopped down quite heavily nearby me. I'm pretty sure she wanted my attention but I wasn't super interested. She wasn't ugly, however she really wasn't my type at all, but I figured I needed the practice and opened her.

I started off by asking about her laptop and then we discussed computers for a little bit. After that, we transitioned to the topic of school, since she used her laptop for school. Then, we talked about living in town and she told me how she had only recently moved here. We then talked about where she was from and also how long I lived here and then she told me about her plans to travel overseas. My interest was legit peaked, so then she went on to tell me that she learned foreign languages and she will be doing some work related to that there. After that, I asked for her name and then shared mine and then I asked what she likes to do around town.

We talked about our interests for a bit more. After that, I decided to ask for the number. I mentioned that it was cool to speak and we should stay in touch and then she said that'd be nice and I gave her my phone to put the number in. After the number, I chatted with her a little longer and then I left the coffee shop.

---------------

I legit thought she was an interesting person, but I don't think I want anything intimate with her. I sensed from the outset she would give me her number, but to be honest, I walked away with the number feeling completely neutral. That is, I wasn't really excited at all about it, but it was nice too know I got something out of my time.

Also, I realized something when I asked for the number. After you ask for the number in a closed place like this, doesn't it kind of shut your other options in the venue off? The woman will see you approach other women and the other women will see you exchanged numbers with the original woman, so doesn't that mean my chances for another number would be massively diminished?

[rapaz12]

We had a fundraiser lunch at my building where multiple companies could eat. I decided to go to see if I could chat with any worthwhile women. When I first sat down, I opened the people around me and chatted about various things, and then I opened this milf. I started by remarking about the food at the lunch and then she made some jokes about it. After that, I told her about a little about my job and then I asked about hers and then we chatted about the difficulties of finding what you want to do in life. After that, she talked about how she had moved around a lot and then we talked about travel. She then asked me what my name was and then I told her and asked for hers. After that, we chatted a little more and then she said she had to go and said it was nice to meet.

I wanted to get her number, but I figured she might not feel comfortable giving it out with her coworkers all around her. I think perhaps I could have given her my card after she asked about my job and then continued the conversation from there.

________
Slowed down a lot on approaches again. I've gotten to the point where I see that street approaches are a waste of time, so I generally avoid them now. Also, since I'm not seeing results and failing to push further out of fear, I'm getting burnt out on opening again

On the other hand, I feel like I've definitely improved my social skills. When at a venue or place, I have less issues opening strangers and talking about random things. However, I still need to get more accustomed to opening groups of people.

[rapaz12]

Just posting something so I don't neglect this more.

Yesterday I went out after watching a movie at the theatre. As usual, my friends didn't want to go out so I went to one bar and stayed there the whole night. It was a bit dead starting out (which I prefer) , but it ramped up as the night progressed. I opened a few mixed sets of people and about half seemed to be on the defensive, so I didn't push hard. With the other people, one was a friendly group of older people celebrating a birthday and then the other ended up being some people that were friends of my friend. I chatted with both groups a while then got mentally exhausted by the loud music and left. On the way to my car I saw an unbelievably hot brunette and thought to open her, but I figured it would be a waste since it's nighttime and a street approach, so I continued on home and called it a night.

Today I did a little more though. I started out by going to a meetup event. I thought the subject would be interesting, but it honestly bored me crazy.

With that, I endured it about an hour, but then decided to leave when a woman I had been eyeing got up to leave. So, her mom went to the bathroom and I immediately opened her and asked her why she came to the meetup. She told me her reasons and then I shared I little bit about why I came. We then chatted about what we learned from the meetup and then her mom came out of the bathroom. I got cold feet on the approach at that point and then ended the conversation and told her it was nice to meet.

I then went to an after party for a competition. The people there were pretty much all easy to open, but I definitely had to work to stay out of my head since I was there alone.

I talked to one tattooed dude who then started bringing other women into the conversation. The first woman which I assume was his girlfriend talked to me a little after he left, but it seemed to quickly fizzle out and then I went and walked around a little more. I then opened another group by asking if they were from my town since a lot of out of towners were at this party. They responded, but I could see they seemed bothered, so I walked off afterwards.

I then saw the tattooed guy again and this time he introduced me to another woman. Her face was ok, but her body was just too petite for me. Anyways, we talked a little and she told me where she was from and how she acted as a judge in the competition. I then asked her a little bit about what it's like being a judge and then we talked a little more, but I got bored and she ended up excusing herself.

I wanted to employ what I learned from a Nick sparks video on conversation, but I got too nervous and ended up trying to talk too much.

He then introduced me to another woman. She was thicker and more attractive than the last one. I.tried to speak to her, but she didn't seem to want to speak. Every time the dude and I said something to each other, she would look off into space and then say something to him in a really low voice which prevented me from saying more to her or she would just walk away completely.

Lastly, there was this group of girls drawing pictures on a board. We had some laughs and drew extremely horrible self portraits of each other. As we drew, I tried to think of things to say to push the interaction further, but my mind went blank. After I got sick of not knowing how to handle the situation, I just decided to go home.

[rapaz12]

Got a number!

I was having lunch and saw this woman walk by and go into the restaurant I was eating at. I liked her body and the way she looked, but I decided not to approach.

After she walked by, my friend showed up and we chatted a little bit. Eventually, the woman walked out of the restaurant again and we both stopped talking to look her down. After she walked off, we talked about her a little, but he said he didn't want to try to say anything and I figured at the point my chance was lost.

We then went back to chatting normally and then to my surprise, the woman came back and sat down nearby me. At that point I decided I HAD to make the approach; if someone else is too afraid to do it and she's gone by this many times, I gotta at least try.

With that, my friend left and then I finished off my food and approached her. I opened her by asking her if she was doing jury duty since I noticed she was wearing a nametag jurors wear. She said yea, and then we bantered a little about how boring it can be to do jury duty. After that, I asked her if I could sit with her and she said yea. We then talked a little about her job and how she tries to navigate it by looking sexy but not getting in trouble. After that, we joked about some current events and had a good laugh and then I decided it was time to go and asked for the number.

This is where I still need to practice lots more. When I went to ask, my mind just shorted out and instead of saying "hey, this was fun, give me your number and we can meetup later" I said, "hdudueibcjdi number djdjdjd uhh yea"

She thought it was a little funny and said yea and gave me the number. We agreed to meet again during lunch so we'll see how things go...

[rapaz12]

Met up with the girl from yesterday for lunch. Although we had some awkward silences, I liked speaking with her a lot. We talked about where she's from and I made a few bad attempts at flirting, but I think I did ok.

I really wanted to, but I wussed out and didn't go for the kiss at the end...

She also remarked at how I was very mum on texting. I don't want to text alot, so I'm not sure how to overcome that obstacle. I sent a message that I enjoyed the meet after we parted as well, but I still haven't seen a response back.

[Conclusion013]

If you have awkward silence I find looking at her and slightly smirking works wonders. She'll like be like "what is it" just say "nothing" while smiling. She's gonna wonder what you're thinking and her hamster will start spinning and make her talk. If she doesn't then just say anything. Don't leave the silence too long. With regards to texting, it's good that you don't want to text a lot. As stated on here many times keep it to logistics and light flirting otherwise you can bore her and burn yourself. Otherwise good job on the number and date close.

[rapaz12]

Had another cool date with the woman from my prior post. I was super nervous about everything since I haven't been on a legit date in forever but since the woman was pretty chill, I felt myself relax more.

As the night progressed, I decided I HAD to be more brave and let the woman know I liked her.So, I held her hand as we walked for a bit, but I got nervous when she let go to use her phone, so it took me awhile to work up the drive to hold her hand again. In addition, I also tried to put my arm around her a couple times but that also had me really nervous too.

When we finally decided to go, I told myself I had to go for the kiss this time. As such, I'm happy to report that I didn't wuss out and I did get the kiss. What was surprising to me was that after we kissed, I realized it wasn't anything worth the stress I attached to it. I will admit that I was nervous and didn't go for tongue, but that'll be next time I guess.

[King of Monkeys]

Isn't it funny how the fear the mind makes up is mostly unfounded and completely ridiculous? I notice whenever I bite the bullet and do what I feel afraid of, I feel a boost of confidence afterwards because I did something I thought I couldn't and due and proved myself wrong. Good job on taking on letting your fear control your decision.

[Mountain Man]

(08-13-2017 07:45 PM)rapaz12 Wrote:  

Also, I realized something when I asked for the number. After you ask for the number in a closed place like this, doesn't it kind of shut your other options in the venue off? The woman will see you approach other women and the other women will see you exchanged numbers with the original woman, so doesn't that mean my chances for another number would be massively diminished?

No.

If you try and a woman does happen to bring it up, just acknowledge it or agree and amplify. You are a strong single male and it is OK to date and it is OK to bang. In order to date you need to get numbers. She will be one of many women trying for your attention and if that bothers her then simply move on to the next. If she is smart she will show you why her number is more valuable than the others you get in that venue.

Some possible responses to "Didn't you just get that other girl's number?":

"Yea, but the 100th number wins a prize. Are you feeling lucky?" (pretty cocky / girls love prizes)

"No way, we were playing Pokemon Go!!!"

"Sure did. It's so hard to find the right girl in this town. My date last night was horrible" (make up horrible date story that starts with "I was excited because this girl was really pretty")

"I'm just really picky and I don't see that going past friends." (hopefully she asks where you see her going, if so tell her you're undecided on this one and will have to wait and see)

"I did. I've been working hard to improve myself and build my confidence. It's working really well and I want to be sure that I don't miss any opportunities in life. I'd like to have your number as well so that I can call you and see if we have a connection." (the truth)

Remember, when you walked into that venue you had exactly ZERO numbers. The point is that it is up to YOU how many numbers you choose to get, where you choose to get them and when you choose to get them. The other women don't get to decide that for you. If they don't want to give you their number, fine. If they would rather wait for some beta to come around that has been waiting for them and only them, great, let them ruin his life instead. You want the girls that know without a doubt that you are the best man in the room and they damn sure better compete for you.

You're doing great man! Really inspiring me reading this thread!!

[rapaz12]

Thanks for that reply mountain man. I was still very curious how to tackle that situation.

I had one opener today and I don't know why I wasted it on who I did. I got bored out of my mind at work and decided to go down to a coffeeshop to decompress a little. While in line there was a petite woman in front with these eyes that were seriously hypnotizing that looked back at me twice. I assumed it was a ioi and considered opening her after I bought my drink, but she walked off to the bathroom.

Now for some unbelievably stupid reason, I decided to open another woman sitting down eating instead of waiting around for the other one. Since the area for getting sugar and stuff was near where the woman was sitting, I simply got my drink, grabbed some sugar, and then said hey, asked how she's doing, and then made a remark about what she was eating. She then told me how good the food was.

After that, I decided to sit down next to her. I looked through a magazine a little and then reopened her. I asked if she was on break too and she said yea and then I remarked how late she was eating. After that, she told me how she has to do it like this because of work and then I got her to tell me a little bit about what she does and the interesting people she sees and then we spoke about sports a little. I then dropped some bait about travelling around and she kind of bit, but I felt like she really wasn't interested in continuing the conversation.

Eventually, I decided I had to get back to work. I was going to ask for the number, but then I realized she had a silver ring on her ring finger and abruptly decided against it. Total waste.

I dunno why I wasted my time on this chick instead of the other, but hopefully this'll be my reminder not to do something this stupid again.


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I've noticed the only thing that gets me in a better mood to approach is by accomplishing other social challenges.

For example, I can say simple greetings all day, but I notice I still stress when I consider actually talking about stuff with women at my job and other male employees I don't know well. So, today, I forced myself to have more fleshed out conversations with women around my job. I then noticed that when I went out to approach, I felt more "on".

It's necessary to do a social challenge that makes me feel a little bit below moderately nervous though. I used to think I could get by when socially warming up by just opening super easy targets (dudes, really old women), but it doesn't really work. Thus, these targets make me only very mildly nervous and they don't give me that tinge of reassurance that I can go up and make a conversation with a woman work.

It's an interesting realization. There really is no way to feel that momentum build, without legitimately challenging myself.

[rapaz12]

Opened a set and got both numbers.

There was an event tonight that I wanted to check out with the chick I dated, but plans fell through and I went alone.

I got there a bit before it started so there weren't many people at all. I started to feel a little nervous being there alone and then I decided to open these two women standing outside the venue by asking them when the event starts. They then replied when and I asked them if they had come to this event before and then they said yea. After that, we chatted a little more and then I broke off and talked a little more with a dude that was going to perform. We then went inside and I tried to talk a little more with the two women at the bar, but they walked off after a slight lull in the conversation.

I then chatted with another performer and then I decided to open someone sitting. After looking a second, I noticed two more black women sitting down that I saw a little earlier and decided to open them.

It was a circular table so I at first sat in a chair at the table a little far from them and then I asked them if they planned to perform a little also. They looked a little surprised to see me open them, but they happily answered. After that, we talked about funny things they don't like and I cracked some jokes to mess with them for their silly dislikes. They both had ditzy personalities but I liked them because they didn't look or sound hood.

I then decided they had warmed up to me enough and moved to the seat right next to them and continued to talk. We then had a very good conversation where they asked me a lot of personal questions and I did the same for them all while making some light jokes here and there. Near the end of the event they then remarked how unbelievable it was that I came alone and that I spoke to them and that made me feel pretty awesome.

I then started thinking about how I was going to get a number. At first, I thought I wasn't gonna go for it, but then one of the chicks told me she's originally from Latin America and THEN she stood up and I got a look at her butt and then I quickly decided to go for it.

As usual, I stressed a bit over how I was going to do it, but I eventually decided on something and said it. Sadly, I can't remember what I said, but they both happily put their numbers in my phone! I then chatted a little afterwards and then we parted ways.
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While in the midst of the conversation with the black women, someone yelled at me and said hey, and when I looked, I saw it was a woman I went on some dates with where I failed to do any escalation whatsoever. We hugged and then talked a little and she introduced me to the guy she was with.

At that point it confirmed what I assumed about her was right; she turned me down when I told her how I felt about her when we dated because I wasn't escalating and I was too afraid to do anything to show her I liked her.

I wasn't bothered to realize this or see her with the guy either. It only made me smile to realize that my lost opportunity with her was the experience I needed to drive me to make my true feelings crystal clear when I'm talking to a woman I like. Not only that, I learned that I need to be all the way into a woman if I'm going to escalate and honestly, I was not like that when I was dating her.

[rapaz12]

No real progress today. I opened a lot of people throughout the daytime and had nice conversations, but they weren't helpful since they were all overly low stress targets.

I then went out to an event and while there, I noticed there was a simultaneous conference occurring. I opened one woman and talked to her about it and she explained to me what it was all about and then I figured out she came from Canada. After that, she took off to answer a call.

I then eyed some more females and considered opening, but decided not to. I then went on to my event and chatted with some people and met some really talented performers.

I then left for a bit and came back. On the way back, I opened another woman from the conference that came out from the UK with her friends. Her friends started scowling at me, but I pushed on and we chatted a little about what she does and why she decided to come here. After we got to the venue we parted ways and then I joked with a couple other women as I walked around.

I then left the event and decided to check some bars out. I sent my friend a message about going out and he seemed willing, but unsurprisingly, he didn't come out. I keep trying to stay positive and embrace rolling solo, but sometimes I really wish my friends were more social. In the end, I'm just disappointed in myself for holding out this hope they ever will be.

Anyways, I went to the first bar. I opened a couple all female groups by making some comments and then minded my own business for a little.

I then went to another bar. I chatted with the dj a little and then sat down and chilled with a drink. I then opened one guy nearby ordering a drink and made a light joke about his drink. He then got this look on his face, stared at me a little, and then proceeded to tell his friends that I was weird. Honestly, it irritated me and kind of got my mood down and the annoyingly bad music wasn't helping so I got up and left the bar.

I then went to another bar. The music was bad too since the dj was playing a lot of the same tired songs. Anyways, I tried to chat with a few more people but they weren't sociable. At that point, I got sick of it and just went home.

[Mountain Man]

Sounds like an alright night. You talked to several ladies and were out of the house. Don't even worry about people you know not being as social as you, in private they are wishing they were as social as you are. I was out with friends tonight and did all the opening. In the end a friend that can't open sober ended up getting a number and her friend was definitely not into me so I moved on. That's my problem right now, I get more of my friends laid or with numbers than I am getting myself (at night).

I had a lame night myself but I came home and made a freakin' awesome pesto quesadilla ... when you come home alone do the same things that you would do with a girl in tow. Put on some music, make some great food and who cares. Next time when you pull a girl(s) it'll be old hat and you'll be totally comfortable doing impressive shit.

[rapaz12]

I think the woman I went on the date with is a lost cause now. Not many days ago I sent her a message to tell her we'd go out during the weekend, but she told me she would get back to me on what I suggested to her. Well, I tried to call her and she never called me back and she also never let me know if she would come for the date during the times I mentioned. I'm not sure, perhaps I blew it with her by not talking to her enough.

Today I went to the same event from the other day. There was a milf there with her kid and while the kid was goofing around I opened the mom. I asked if she likes what her son is into and she told me about how she's clueless and it annoys him. We then chatted a little bit about what brought her to the event and she said she worked for the company hosting it. After that, I asked her what kind of stuff she likes to do and she just said work. I then ran out of stuff to say and left her.

I kinda minded my own business for the rest of the time. Occasionally, I made some chit chat with someone here and there. I did meet and exchange contact info with some cool people, so hopefully that'll get me somewhere on that whole boring friends conundrum I got going.

After I left, I went to the club. On the way there I joked a little with a small group of women since they appeared to be wearing the same clothes. They seemed receptive to extend the conversation, but I didn't like their look.

Once I got in, I kinda chilled in the bar area. I started out chatting with these two women who were visiting from out of town. We talked about the differences in our club scenes and also days people like to go out.

After they walked off, I looked around and noticed there was a room filled with women. I tried to go in and they said no dudes were allowed, but I noticed there were men walking out who had multiple women with them. I then thought about it a little and figured if I could get four women to go with me to the door I could get in.

Bad idea. I thought it would be intriguing to try so I opened a group of women and said what I was thinking about doing to them, but they weren't for it. I then approached another group of women and asked them, but the bouncer swooped in out of nowhere and said I had to leave. It was a little crazy to me because I never thought I'd experience being kicked out of a club.

With the ego blow from that, I then went to another place. I didn't want to let it get to me too much so I just chilled for a little and chatted with some people and then I called it a night. I felt a little better on my way home thanks to that.

[Jetset]

(10-15-2017 01:47 AM)rapaz12 Wrote:  

After they walked off, I looked around and noticed there was a room filled with women. I tried to go in and they said no dudes were allowed, but I noticed there were men walking out who had multiple women with them. I then thought about it a little and figured if I could get four women to go with me to the door I could get in.

Bad idea. I thought it would be intriguing to try so I opened a group of women and said what I was thinking about doing to them, but they weren't for it. I then approached another group of women and asked them, but the bouncer swooped in out of nowhere and said I had to leave. It was a little crazy to me because I never thought I'd experience being kicked out of a club.

I'm curious about this. Is the deal that you were trying to find some women to crash a private party and they went and told the bouncer what was up?

[rapaz12]

^^ Nah, I don't think anyone told. He initially just told me to "move on" while I was talking to the women and then I asked him what the deal was. Afterwards, he said some stuff and then because my mind acts weird, I said, "Well..next time" but I was really just blubbering nonsense. He seemed to think it was a threat or something and then told me to leave.