[thedarkknight]

Demographics

24 Year old
Black male
Single
Born in England

Problem

From working out in the garden, to running in the park, to being keen at the hospital. I notice a lot of people mock passion, intensity,enthusiasm. I do not try to get attention from others. I do not force my standards on to others. I do not tell others what to do. I let others live their life, as long as they do not try to force their views on me: I have no problem.

How do you deal with the mocking? You know what you're doing is right but how can you ignore these type of people? The worst part is.....it's often young men in groups who seem to do this to me......

History of Problem

The same thing happened throughout high school.I got bullied mercilessly for just being quiet and working hard. I did really well and have just finished Medical School. I am far from intelligent but I knew this from a young age. Instead of crying like a bitch, I realised I better get working. Nothing more than a "trier" but humble enough to accept this and move forward.

Closing Remarks

All advice is welcome. This website seems brutally honest and masculine. My University course and soon to be place of work is highly feminized, PC, socialist and "soft". I would ask my dad but he's dead.

[LINUX]

You're a doctor and people are mocking you for working out, running, and being happy at work?

Who? Other doctors? Nurses? What men?

I don't follow.

[thedarkknight]

(07-08-2015 03:12 PM)LINUX Wrote:  

You're a doctor and people are mocking you for working out, running, and being happy at work?

Who? Other doctors? Nurses? What men?

I don't follow.

1) Other medical students, when I was a student.
2) When I go running, some idiots in their cars shout abuse/ blow their car horns/ jump in front of me to try and intimidate me...no joke...not even in the same parts of the country.... always groups of men....
3) When I read books, I get called "gay" by some people like my younger bro who is 21

I know what I should do, as long as no one physically touches me- fuck'em.

[GlobalMan]

Its a very very common thing. Most people do not want to see/hear someone who is taking steps to improve their lives or taking risks, because it makes people have to look at themselves and their choices and feel bad about what they are not doing with their lives. They mock it because it threatens them.

They don't want to be left behind, they want you to stay down at their level so they can continue living comfortable, mediocre lives. Its the same reasons people mock "game" and guys trying to improve their sex lives. You can't do anything to win over those people, you can just continue on your path.

[Phoenix]

Simple answer is you have to leave. Either to another city or district that has less shitheads, or to another country. If that's not currently possible, try to find other people with life in them to hang out with (who haven't already left).

The problem is that for losers, winners and people with the attributes and behaviours of winners are an affront to their self-image. The winners are an unpleasant reminder of the fact that they themselves are shit, and to make this unpleasant feeling go away they mock the winner. If you are bad, pretend that "good is wrong", so to speak. Especially in groups - having other people around you who join you in doing the wrong thing helps you pretend it's the right thing.

Like I say, you can't change these people, they're just the dregs of mankind and you have to move to where the good stuff is.

[Bad Hussar]

Although a slightly negative approach, one way would be to look on these people the same way you would a particularly irrational woman. You know the kind. The woman who expects people to react to her based purely on her emotional state, despite holding some position which is not only wrong and irrational, but almost deranged. These idiots who try to bring people down when they are trying to improve themselves really are "little bitches" in the modern sense of that term. Whatever their gender. The reason to look at them this way is that they actually are irrational and expect their very peculiar negative emotions to effect the behavior of someone else.

Given that you are a male Medical student you are likely quite analytical. So just look at their behavior and how crazy it is and ignore them. Some yob shouting abuse at you from a car as you are jogging isn't worth your attention. With friends/family you may need a confrontation.

[LINUX]

While I'm not black, I remember Charles Barkely saying something about smart black kids being teased in school for reading because people thought they were trying to be white. But this should of stopped 100% in Medical School since you're surrounded by other intelligent men instead of a bunch of kids.

The running thing (and people jumping out of the car)is strange though. I've never heard of this. Are you running in the slums and projects?

[thedarkknight]

(07-08-2015 03:28 PM)Phoenix Wrote:  

Simple answer is you have to leave. Either to another city or district that has less shitheads, or to another country. If that's not currently possible, try to find other people with life in them to hang out with (who haven't already left).

The problem is that for losers, winners and people with the attributes and behaviours of winners are an affront to their self-image. The winners are an unpleasant reminder of the fact that they themselves are shit, and to make this unpleasant feeling go away they mock the winner. If you are bad, pretend that "good is wrong", so to speak. Especially in groups - having other people around you who join you in doing the wrong thing helps you pretend it's the right thing.

Like I say, you can't change these people, they're just the dregs of mankind and you have to move to where the good stuff is.

Great advice.

[frenchcorporation]

as a guy trying to be great, people will tear you down, they can't help it. Throw being a black into that mix, and people will act funny.

Just be the best, and drown everybodys nonsense out

[Peregrine]

(07-08-2015 03:28 PM)Phoenix Wrote:  

Simple answer is you have to leave. Either to another city or district that has less shitheads, or to another country. If that's not currently possible, try to find other people with life in them to hang out with (who haven't already left).

The problem is that for losers, winners and people with the attributes and behaviours of winners are an affront to their self-image. The winners are an unpleasant reminder of the fact that they themselves are shit, and to make this unpleasant feeling go away they mock the winner. If you are bad, pretend that "good is wrong", so to speak. Especially in groups - having other people around you who join you in doing the wrong thing helps you pretend it's the right thing.

Like I say, you can't change these people, they're just the dregs of mankind and you have to move to where the good stuff is.

And not only are you an affront to their self-image, you are living proof that things can be better if you put in the effort.

Losers are usually losers because they are lazy and would rather blame their loser status on external causes (e.g. parents, injustice, race, sex, etc). Your existence ruins that self delusion and forces them to confront the fact that they suck because they choose to suck. So naturally they hate you for that.

It's got nothing to do with you and everything to do with them. Fuck 'em.

[greekgod]

Questions come to mind;

Are they your client(s)?
Are they your family?

No, ghost em.

In the case of family, scorched earth policy is best. Burn it to the ground and then make them feel guilty for forcing you to do so. Family is family but you have to maintain standards. Their standards are lacking, get on with it.

You are doctor so this is a bit different but the moment you step into the post college world, you notice everyone has an opinion and it is 99.9999% useless. Just like my response

If they don't bring you happiness, don't worry about em.

[Travesty]

The practical ways to avoid this with no mental masturbation:

1) Get bigger and work on looking more intimidating

2) Use your $ to live in a wealthier neighborhood

3) The wealthier the hood you live and hang in the more you can tone down the intimidation factor

[StrikeBack]

How exactly are they mocking you?

If they're actively doing something that get in the way of your self-improvements, then you'd need to take real actions. Are they ganging up and punching you?

Do they hold you at gun point and make you comply with their loser lifestyles, or else?

If it's just regular shit talking, just take it with a good sense of humour, and give them as good as they give you.

I hear this a lot from Millennial guys, and it always turns out to be storms in a tea cup. A bunch of dumb guys talking shit to you is neither intimidating nor bullying nor anything worth worrying about.

[Green-On-GO]

Poms are always taking the piss..like Aussies however I noticed that they are a bit more herd like than Aussies....that's when I lived there.They will dress the same and all like the same things unlike Australia..I found there was alot more pressure on blokes to conform..

Its actually tougher there than OZ and groups of thugs will try and do you over...and that's just when you are going to the shops...

OP you don't seem part of the herd, a UK medical qual is a ticket to working around most of the world...move and enrich your life....you are only 24.

[Afarang]

IF you don't have someone hating you, it means you're doing something wrong.

People like to mock in the UK for two reason:

1. Banter - These are friends taking the mick out of others, but it's clearly in jest
2. Fear - They are scared because they are not doing what you are. You scare them because you have something they lack but because they are too scared to get it, they mock you to make themselves feel better.

Me personally, in this situation I would think of some really killer lines to reply back to people who mock you. That will shut them up and make them think about their self.

If you can't do that, then you have a problem. The problem is caring what others think. Don't let them have a hold on you, it can seriously damage you.

[Michael Ahmed Goldstein]

Could be one or both of these things ...

1) It is because you are black!
I have a black friend. Brilliant dude,very articulate, double majoring in Oceanography and Geology. All around nice guy right? He gets mocked by mostly other black guys for 'acting white", not being cool enough and not buying into the YOLO swag culture.

Are the people mocking you Afro-British?

2) When i started mass approaching during the day and at bars all my so called "friends" started mocking me. They'd laugh at my brutal rejections. It was entertainment to them to the point where they would invite other dudes from the dorms to come over and watch me get rejected. Nothing appeals more to the average Joe than asserting his superiority over someone else while they cower in fear of testing their limits.

In conclusion I'd say fuck the haters and just do you but i also think there's something more at stake here. You mentioned that people blow their horns, yell at you and call you gay?

Hate is common but outright confrontation like this means you do not command respect.Do you lift? Are you fat or skinny? Need more info to better assess your situation. I hope it gets better bro but changing peoples perception of you is very hard since they already have compartmentalized you into a certain category mentally.

It might not be a bad idea to leave and reinvent yourself.

[iknowexactly]

(07-08-2015 08:24 PM)Travesty444 Wrote:  

The practical ways to avoid this with no mental masturbation:

1) Get bigger and work on looking more intimidating

2) Use your $ to live in a wealthier neighborhood

3) The wealthier the hood you live and hang in the more you can tone down the intimidation factor

I agree with above, except I think for someone at your level of medical graduate I would try to to leave the riffraff behind rather than get down to their level of lower primate intimidation.


This stuff about being harassed while running really sounds like a neighborhood and possibly a Brit lower class problem. I lived in a semi-elite university town in Northern California and NO ONE did this crap.

In fact, the people are so polite at four way stop signs no one moves because they are all trying to let the other guys go first!

Highly educated, financially secure professionals in ANY country don't harass strangers, they have better things to do.

[WEDO]

(07-08-2015 03:15 PM)thedarkknight Wrote:  

(07-08-2015 03:12 PM)LINUX Wrote:  

You're a doctor and people are mocking you for working out, running, and being happy at work?

Who? Other doctors? Nurses? What men?

I don't follow.

1) Other medical students, when I was a student.
2) When I go running, some idiots in their cars shout abuse/ blow their car horns/ jump in front of me to try and intimidate me...no joke...not even in the same parts of the country.... always groups of men....
3) When I read books, I get called "gay" by some people like my younger bro who is 21

I know what I should do, as long as no one physically touches me- fuck'em.

I don't think I'm the type of person that many people would feel comfortable trying to intimidate or name calling. And the times that I have caught people talking shit about me behind my back...it just didn't phase me....can't say that I remember even bothering to confront them about it.

Personally I think you are most likely being just way too sensitive.

Your story reminds me of a woman that I worked with that would literally start crying when she heard what other less successful women in the office were saying about her.

I remember asking her one day while she was crying what she thought the other women were going to buy her for Christmas....She said "What?...probably nothing"

I said "exactly" so what the hell are you crying about then. They were never going to do anything for you anyway....even if they could and most of them couldn't even if they wanted to.

[Vicious]

Small men always tries to hold back those aspiring to be something more. In their success they are reminded of their own failures.

[StrikeBack]

I missed the OP's second post. So it is storm in a teacup after all. For example:

(07-08-2015 03:15 PM)thedarkknight Wrote:  

3) When I read books, I get called "gay" by some people like my younger bro who is 21

Before the current rainbow climate which scares people from calling each other gay as an amusing insult, I got called 'gay' by my mates for just about everything I tried: bodybuilding, dancing, creative writing, etc.

Every single one of them regretted opening their mouths.

When I took up partner dancing, mate of mine called me 'gay'. I would ask:

"So in your head, you visualise two guys fucking each other in the arse when you think about me dancing with pretty girls? Who's the gay one now?"

It's all fun and banter. Don't be so sensitive.

[vinman]

You're doing what you should be doing. People like putting others in the spot light because it makes easier to isolate and throw stones at them. There are threads on turning haters to fans. Read those, and read Dale Carnegie. If you're young, fit, and goal oriented people will hate on you. But at the end of the day, you define you.

[thedarkknight]

(07-09-2015 01:56 AM)StrikeBack Wrote:  

I missed the OP's second post. So it is storm in a teacup after all. For example:

(07-08-2015 03:15 PM)thedarkknight Wrote:  

3) When I read books, I get called "gay" by some people like my younger bro who is 21

Before the current rainbow climate which scares people from calling each other gay as an amusing insult, I got called 'gay' by my mates for just about everything I tried: bodybuilding, dancing, creative writing, etc.

Every single one of them regretted opening their mouths.

When I took up partner dancing, mate of mine called me 'gay'. I would ask:

"So in your head, you visualise two guys fucking each other in the arse when you think about me dancing with pretty girls? Who's the gay one now?"

It's all fun and banter. Don't be so sensitive.

Good one. You're right. Should thicken my skin some more.

[The Beast1]

If someone is making fun of you for lifting, call them fat and threaten to pick them up and twirl them around.

I had a small guy giving me crap once for lifting. I picked him up, shook him, and put him back down.

Did the trick

As for running outside, nothing you can really do. Go run on a treadmill if it bothers you.

[emuelle1]

Best to ignore it. You answer to yourself for the life you live, not them.

Most people tend toward mediocrity, and trying to succeed threatens them. It's easier to pull a crab trying to escape the pot back in than to follow it out.

I never completely understood why people are so tight with encouragement. It doesn't cost you anything to tell somebody "Good for you! You can do it!" Takes no effort, money, or energy. But for some reason, people want to drag you down instead.

[Recovering Beta]

Reading books is gay? Has Idiocracy arrived 500 years too soon?