[hervens]

I've been seeing this girl for around 7 months now, and I did the mistake of going exclusive with her and making her my gf. At first I thought she was wife material, as she's 17 and I'm 24, and she was also a virgin when I met her.

After the initial flame has died out, I now realize 3 things:

1) I do not see myself spending the rest of my life with her, as we have different objectives in life. I want a girl with ambition, and the intention of getting at least a university degree, which seems very unlikely to happen in her case.

2) I do enjoy her compagnionship and the sex life.

3) I'd like to keep her around if possible.

4) I want to do as little harm as possible

What is the ideal approach in this scenario?

[Art Pimp]

Just make sure you don't get accused of statutory rape.

[hervens]

^Where I live, the legal age of conscent is 16.

[samsamsam]

You want a girl with ambition?

Joking sort of.

Getting a university degree today just seems to be an education on how to be a victim. Unless you get a challenging degree. At least then you can prove you actually have some intelligence mixed with victimhood.

[LINUX]

The frontal lobe which controls planning, thinking, problem solving and reasoning doesn't fully develop until you're 25.

To put it in another prospective, you're upset that you found a 1 week old puppy and it pissed the carpet.

[hervens]

(06-15-2015 12:42 PM)samsamsam Wrote:  

You want a girl with ambition?

Joking sort of.

Getting a university degree today just seems to be an education on how to be a victim. Unless you get a challenging degree. At least then you can prove you actually have some intelligence mixed with victimhood.

I'm not saying I disagree with you, but I'm sure most guys would still prefer to have a girl with a useless university degree, than one with a high school diploma who's looking forward on making a career as a walmart clerk.

[SirTimothy]

(06-15-2015 12:29 PM)hervens Wrote:  

I've been seeing this girl for around 7 months now, and I did the mistake of going exclusive with her and making her my gf. At first I thought she was wife material, as she's 17 and I'm 24, and she was also a virgin when I met her.

After the initial flame has died out, I now realize 3 things:

1) I do not see myself spending the rest of my life with her, as we have different objectives in life. I want a girl with ambition, and the intention of getting at least a university degree, which seems very unlikely to happen in her case.

2) I do enjoy her compagnionship and the sex life.

3) I'd like to keep her around if possible.

4) I want to do as little harm as possible

What is the ideal approach in this scenario?

You enjoy being around her, you enjoy the sex, and you'd like to keep her around, but you're contemplating getting rid of her because she won't have a degree? I think you may be rushing into this decision, and for the wrong reasons.

(06-15-2015 12:54 PM)hervens Wrote:  

(06-15-2015 12:42 PM)samsamsam Wrote:  

You want a girl with ambition?

Joking sort of.

Getting a university degree today just seems to be an education on how to be a victim. Unless you get a challenging degree. At least then you can prove you actually have some intelligence mixed with victimhood.

I'm not saying I disagree with you, but I'm sure most guys would still prefer to have a girl with a useless university degree, than one with a high school diploma who's looking forward on making a career as a walmart clerk.

Keep in mind though, a great deal of girls with useless university degrees do wind up having a career as a Walmart clerk anyway. They just spend more money getting there. You shouldn't end the relationship just over this.

[heavy]

See her once a week.

I've done this more than once.

I met a 22 year old virgin who I started seeing. We saw each other once a week for maybe 9 months. After that, when I hadn't seen her in 3 months, after waiting for me, she finally texted me to hang out. So yeah, I managed a year long relationship, 9 montsh @ 1x per week and 3 months no contact.

(In my innocent stupidity, I stopped seeing her because of another girl. I should have kept seeing her once a week. So stupid.)

[hervens]

Thanks to both of you, heavy and SirTimothy

Other than her lack of ambition in life, there's also the fact that I think my SMV is much higher than her's, and sometimes I feel I could get a much better deal somewhere else. (She's slightly overweight, and comes from a middle/lower class background )
I will not however, deny the fact that I enjoy spending time with her as well as the sex.

I just don't like the idea of doing something unethical and giving her false hopes, by staying in the relationship even though (I hope) I will not spend my life, or have a family with her because of said reasons.

And yes, we live 45 minute drive apart so I go sleep over at her place only once per week.

[Onto]

(06-15-2015 04:23 PM)hervens Wrote:  

I will not however, deny the fact that I enjoy spending time with her as well as the sex.

I just don't like the idea of doing something unethical and giving her false hopes, by staying in the relationship even though (I hope) I will not spend my life, or have a family with her because of said reasons.

She enjoys spending time with you too, and knows on some level exactly how you feel about her and what your desires are.

She may even be attracted because she senses you will never marry her.

Try not to look at woman as innocent and fragile figurines who's hopes and dreams will crash and soar depending on what we do with them. They are very cunning, resilient, and know exactly how we feel about them.

[Dr. Howard]

(06-15-2015 12:29 PM)hervens Wrote:  

I've been seeing this girl for around 7 months now, and I did the mistake of going exclusive with her and making her my gf. At first I thought she was wife material, as she's 17 and I'm 24, and she was also a virgin when I met her.

After the initial flame has died out, I now realize 3 things:

1) I do not see myself spending the rest of my life with her, as we have different objectives in life. I want a girl with ambition, and the intention of getting at least a university degree, which seems very unlikely to happen in her case.

2) I do enjoy her compagnionship and the sex life.

3) I'd like to keep her around if possible.

4) I want to do as little harm as possible

What is the ideal approach in this scenario?

whaaat. What planet is this? For a wife you should be happy if her ambition is to a)suck your dick b) cook you food c) clean your house and d) mind your children e) manage small items and errands while you pursue ambition.

A wife is like an executive assistant for your life and you are the CEO, her success and failure depends on your leadership of the company and her job is to keep as much bullshit out of your hair so you can maximize your ambition and ass kicking. If she has a university degree then you will be arguing over who is going to wear the pantsuit each day and fighting about who's ambition is first that week.

I married a woman with a high school diploma and what does she know how to do that none of my previous masters, associates, honors or bachelors degree girlfriends know how to do? Cook, clean and go to the gym.

Now I realize this chick is 17 and you are 24 so you may just want to bang more other pussies, but also know that you've got a cult like hold over a teenage virgin that you can use to free yourself up to win in other areas in live...and at the same time start grooming her to seek girls for threesomes.

Please explain further why a blank slate teenage virgin is not wife material and I will share my breakup advice.

[samsamsam]

Going off what Dr. Howard said, if you just wanna break up to try more pussy, that is fine. But no need to make up reasons to dump her. Women make up shit, you are a man. Granted a millennial but technically a man.

[MongolianAbroad]

(06-15-2015 04:23 PM)hervens Wrote:  

Thanks to both of you, heavy and SirTimothy

Other than her lack of ambition in life, there's also the fact that I think my SMV is much higher than her's, and sometimes I feel I could get a much better deal somewhere else. (She's slightly overweight, and comes from a middle/lower class background )
I will not however, deny the fact that I enjoy spending time with her as well as the sex.

I just don't like the idea of doing something unethical and giving her false hopes, by staying in the relationship even though (I hope) I will not spend my life, or have a family with her because of said reasons.

And yes, we live 45 minute drive apart so I go sleep over at her place only once per week.

Get her on Paleo.

Tell her she can only eat fresh meats, fruits, and vegetables from now on.

Tell her you'll be weighing her when you drop in every week to make sure she's staying on point. You can weigh yourself also and make it a team effort.

As far as the middle/lower class background, she's at such a young age that you can still mold her behaviors to whatever class behaviors you want. If it's daddy's money you're after though, that's a different story, and I won't delve into that topic.

Your situation is ideal, man, you get to see her only once a week, so you've got your space and she has hers.

As far as feeling like you're giving her false hope, I understand where you're coming from there, and it's ethically a tough one, so what I would advise if you think your SMV is higher than hers is to raise her SMV.

See where things go, don't feel you have to marry her just because you're with her. I've been where you are before, and guess what? The guy she's going to be with after you isn't going to marry her, and neither will the one after that, and neither will care. It is what it is, welcome to the modern world.

If she makes your life better, and you can make her life better as well, this seems like it can be worked out, and like it might be worth doing so.

Get her on paleo, let her know exactly what you want and need from her, and go from there.

If her lack of ambition bothers you, I've got some bad news for you, that ambition thing is a huge lie in many cases. As an example (but this applies to many fields), many girls go to medical school supposedly to be doctors, rack up huge debt, then only work part time and then no time once the kids are born, and their husband now has to pay for the wife, the kids, AND the medical degree.

Don't fall for it, don't be that guy, man.

[Virtus]

Watch "The Fade Away by Garfunkel and Oates" on YouTube
https://youtu.be/Fr8HKRTavM0

[Dr. Howard]

This thread is not going in the direction the OP had hoped for.

I had also missed the part where OP had written that she is slightly overweight and comes from a lower class background. If, despite the advice you have received, still want to break up with this girl. Play to the hamster, watch a breakup speech from a romance movie or imagine how it would be written in cosmo.

Ex. "I am breaking up with you. You are young and have your best years ahead of you, I can't be tying you down to be with one person for the rest of your life. You have to live for yourself, and explore who you really are and it would be unfair for me to hold you back from doing that. I know you'll understand"

Do not use wishy washy words like hope, maybe, someday. You need to tell her "this is happening"

Again though, a 17 year old virgin is like a puppy. If a dog bites everyone and shits on the carpet...you don't blame the dog, you blame the owner. You sir, are currently the owner of a puppy, train it or shamefully bring it back the shelter.

[hervens]

(06-16-2015 09:55 AM)Dr. Howard Wrote:  

This thread is not going in the direction the OP had hoped for.

I had also missed the part where OP had written that she is slightly overweight and comes from a lower class background. If, despite the advice you have received, still want to break up with this girl. Play to the hamster, watch a breakup speech from a romance movie or imagine how it would be written in cosmo.

Ex. "I am breaking up with you. You are young and have your best years ahead of you, I can't be tying you down to be with one person for the rest of your life. You have to live for yourself, and explore who you really are and it would be unfair for me to hold you back from doing that. I know you'll understand"

Do not use wishy washy words like hope, maybe, someday. You need to tell her "this is happening"

Again though, a 17 year old virgin is like a puppy. If a dog bites everyone and shits on the carpet...you don't blame the dog, you blame the owner. You sir, are currently the owner of a puppy, train it or shamefully bring it back the shelter.

Thanks for all of the advice, Dr. Howard, and everyone else

I think for now Ill probably stick around with her for a bit longer. I don't have any more girls right now, so I don't want to dump her, and then get horny and call her right back again.
Hopefully this is the best decision.

[younggamer1992]

Yes, stick with her. A university degree will only 1) expose her to more cocks and sluts who love them 2) make her a bigger bitch.
If everything you've said in the first post is true, then I'm sure the girl is pressed on you, and little cracks about her weight will hit her hard and she should start working on it to make you happy. Let her know you're getting bored.

[OregonToSoCal]

(06-15-2015 06:51 PM)Dr. Howard Wrote:  

A wife is like an executive assistant for your life and you are the CEO, her success and failure depends on your leadership of the company and her job is to keep as much bullshit out of your hair so you can maximize your ambition and ass kicking. If she has a university degree then you will be arguing over who is going to wear the pantsuit each day and fighting about who's ambition is first that week.

This! My parents have been married for 50 years and they've always been in business for themselves. Their partnership works so well because my mom has never been ambitious in wanting to be the star of the show. She happily lets my dad be the CEO, public face and leader in their relationship. Where she shines is in the supportive role and makes sure all of the details are handled. Both know their places and there has never been any power struggles.

[GreenHills]

(06-15-2015 12:29 PM)hervens Wrote:  

1) I do not see myself spending the rest of my life with her, as we have different objectives in life. I want a girl with ambition, and the intention of getting at least a university degree, which seems very unlikely to happen in her case.

Where I come from (EE), if a girl doesn't have a university degree, she's considered a failure in life. In America though, a lot of girls like to get useless degrees that don't give them professions, because they want to follow their heart. I find it shocking. I've seen first hand the struggles of girls who get degrees in anthropology, sociology and so on. It's not pretty. This whole question is quite interesting to me. I think the only reason a girl might want to get a degree in some useless shit is if her parents are rich. However, there has been some mass propaganda in this country, where people have been told that they can "follow their dreams". I haven't been around here at that time. Nowadays, I see girls looking for a new job for months and months. Girls I date, not girls I read about somewhere. They usually end up in non profits. What's so dreamy about this, I'm not sure ...

http://waitbutwhy.com/2013/09/why-genera...happy.html

Alright, back to your girl. She doesn't want a degree, fine. Is she a couch potato, is she lazy, is she dumb? If not, it might be alright. And who knows, maybe some people like these qualities in a woman. I don't.

As far as the university making her a worse woman. Again, who knows!? Some will become worse, some won't. The problem is that sometime people are so consumed by their professions that you might end up competing with her company's quarterly goals when you want time with a girl. I've seen unmarried women in their 30s, who keep choosing unfavorable life situations, because of their career - like living in soulless suburbs or spending long hours at work. Crazy.