[Alexandrian]

Let me start by introducing myself. I am a 22 year-old student. Like most of my peers my life consists mainly of studying, working part-time and hanging out with friends (no bars). Throughout my childhood and adolescence I have had some attention from girls, but I never had the interest in gaming them until I was 18 years old. I also hit puberty quite late, so I kinda look younger than I really am.

Throughout my life I’ve heard the bs that all you have to do to get a woman you need to have “a good education, a good job, a stable income and you need to behave like a gentleman”. Luckily I recently discovered the manosphere. I’ve read into it and it made perfect sense to me. That’s when I decided to “swallow the red pill”. My only problem with it is that approaching seems to be a crucial part of self improvement.

My problem with it is that men feed the egos of these self-entitled “princesses” by approaching them. I can’t help to think that I’d look like some monkey jumping through hoops in order to impress and entertain some female. Jumping through hoops is the last thing I’d find myself doing. The mere thought makes me cringe. Also I think it contributes to the demise of civilization. It used to be completely the opposite. Males used to choose which females were worthy of being provided with safety, security and affection.

Talking to female classmates or co-workers at the other hand has never been a problem for me, except for the fact that I keep it at a professional level. (I am already working on that).

In short: This red pill mentality makes a lot of sense to me and I’d like to embrace it, but what is the benefit of approaching numerous of strangers? Wouldn’t we be a part of the problem by encouraging the the decline of patriarchy?

[SydneyD]

Listen up and listen good.

Do you think poor a man can become rich by sitting on his ass and waiting for riches to come to him? Certainly not.

To get rich you have to take action, be proactive and make it happen.

To sleep with women you have to take action, be proactive and make it happen.

It is your DUTY as a man to be make this happen.

If you sit on your ass all day how on earth could you expect to get laid?

Women are being ruined by clueless lads who are placing women on pedestals.

Starting a conversation is not pedestalising a woman.

It is nature and can be even seen in animal behaviour: the male is tasked withmaking the advances, the female is tasked with selecting the most suitable male.

Approaching women is a manly pursuit. Only cowards and the effeminate shy away from it.

How do you expect to get laid if you moved to a city where you have few friends and ugly co-workers with even uglier friends?

I honestly get the feeling that you are too lazy to approach consistently or you have a paralysing fear of rejection.

Embrace the fear!

Continue down along the path of self-improvement and learn how to approach women and I guarantee you will reap so much pussy than you ever thought imaginable.

[Cobra]

Above is the best advice you can get but I'll expand a bit.

No girl will sleep with you unless you make your intentions known. Period.

I don't care how good looking, tall or what race you are.

And be careful how you interpret from the manosphere how aloof you should be when you're starting your approaches.

When you begin approaching, just concentrate on being playful and getting her attention. Most times you will feel like you're being "nice" but that's just part of the process in getting better.

Once you've done about a hundred or more, I promise it will click and you will start getting more numbers and some dates. And you will automatically start developing an "abundance" mentality where the rejections won't matter as there will be another girl to approach.

It's okay to start off with "Hey you look nice today." It's not beta. Just be confident. And just say anything until you get some control over what to say.

And don't think about this shit so much and apply it to the world. Don't take this the wrong way but you don't seem to have much experience in it so gain that first by being a man, approaching etc before you make such cavalier statements that you copy pasted in your head from the manosphere about the state of women and all that.

Those are worst case scenarios so you need to figure out on your own what works.

[Akwesi]

First of all, welcome. I'm truly happy for you, and wish that I had been exposed to these ideas at your age. My life would have been better for it.

Game is not about feeding a girl's ego. On the contrary, from the first approach you will be signaling that you are of equal or higher value than her, to put it in nerd terms. You may employ clown tactics to get there, but at the subconscious level that is what should be going on. Feeding her ego means acting like a friend-zone beta orbiter - leaning in, fawning, complimenting excessively, supplicating, deprecating yourself, presenting yourself as an asexual hover-hands simp. You want to give off a dominant, masculine, sexual vibe, and if she is young and hot you might even have to be a little bit of an asshole. However, even with a good combination of looks, style, and game you can only expect a small fraction of the girls you approach to end up in your bed. That is why it is a numbers game. Women remain the gatekeepers of sex.

It will be easier to both understand and execute all this once you develop an abundance mentality, and especially once you taste sweet, sweet abundance itself. You sound like you might be the kind of guy who thinks he is putting his dignity and self-respect on the line every time he's rejected by a woman. Once you have abundance, or even the abundance mindset, you won't think like that anymore. Come at women from a position of strength and fortitude. The best players here have been rejected thousands of times, and learned to shrug it off.

P. S. I'm not sure what kind of past utopia you are talking about where men never had to approach, but could simply pick and choose. This has only ever been true of high-value men, and even their choices were often constrained by family interests and social norms (consider the travails of Henry VIII). Go visit a patriarchal society in Africa, and you will see that approaching comes as naturally as breathing to many of these men.

[Bill Brasky]

Quote:

In short: This red pill mentality makes a lot of sense to me and I’d like to embrace it, but what is the benefit of approaching numerous of strangers? Wouldn’t we be a part of the problem by encouraging the the decline of patriarchy?

When you say strangers I'll assume you mean women. I'll also assume that your reason for seeking this site is because you had a problem (not getting laid) which you wanted to solve (get laid).

I'll start with a recommendation of basic reading materials which I believe are musts to neophytes: The Rational Male, The Rational Male: Preventive Medicine, Bang.

I would stay away from any political or cultural motivations regarding gender relations for the time being as your implied intent is to get laid.

I know from experience, it's easy to get caught up in the politics and spend too much time thinking of ways to "change the world" or as you put it not "encourage decline of the patriarchy" which doesn't make a lot of sense as the patriarchy is a very abstract term that feminists and many women use to describe an existential entity that is the cause of their discontent and origin as to "why bad things happen to women." That's a whole other beast.

I try to keep in mind as to why I even ended up on this forum and that was because I started with a problem just like you (not getting laid) for which I needed a solution which I found in the information derived in the manosphere, trial and error, self-improvement.

Keep it simple. Keep it to pussy. Push politics and all that other stuff out of your head for now. There are other men that are working on it. You do a great service to mankind by improving your self and living your best life.

Welcome.

[Octavian]

I had the same thought process at the same age, so I get where you're coming from. Unfortunately for me it took several more years before I discovered the red pill. The term red pill was still just a line from The Matrix at the time.

Why should you approach numerous random girls on the street? For one thing, talking to a cute girl that you never met before cold during day game, getting her number, taking her out on a date and fucking her (or doing it all in the same day) is one of the greatest natural highs you'll ever experience. You should not deprive yourself of that pleasure. It's better than getting laid from Tinder, or OKC, or, and this is just my opinion, taking some drunk girl home from a bar.

I get the feeling that the process is somehow demeaning. You might look at like you are a clown jumping through hoops, but there's another way to look at it too. Instead of hoping that some girl comes into your circle of friends, instead of hoping that you'll meet a cute girl at work, instead of hoping that face on the other end swipes right, instead of hoping that the OKC girl who responded to you isn't 30 pounds heavier than her 2009 pictures suggest, what you are doing is taking control of your own fate. You see a girl you are attracted to--not pictures you are attracted to--and then you are going up and screening her to see if she's actually worth your time.

There's a game technique called qualification. Read up on it. Basically, you turn the tables on the girl and make her jump through hoops for you. If you can do that (I'm still working on it myself), then game will feel more like a hunt and less like a clown act. We still got some of that hunter DNA in us. It feels good to let it out.

Yes, it was better when men and women screened each other for virtue and all that. But those days are over. Maybe they'll come back, but for now we do what we can. Learn this shit. It's the best thing you can do for yourself.

[Alexandrian]

Thanks guys! These are exactly the answers I was looking for. A lot of interesting material to explore. I will defintely try out approaching with this new mindset.

[aironrodrico]

I totally feel this post and understand where you coming from. I also have moments of wtf am I doing taking chunks out of my day to stop and entertain random girls, like why the hell do they deserve my time right? as draining as this activity can be for a guy it surely has its benefits.

It takes skill to stop a girl, get her number and connect with her, there's a reason not all guys can do it. It doesn't take skill to sit on tinder and swipe all day, i'd rather develop social skills by meeting girls face to face and from the months I've been hustling girls I've definitely improved socially.

I know this doesn't completely answer your question but just know you're not alone my friend (y)

[Dusty]

Theory is one thing, practical experience is another.

The best thing you can do is test your assumptions by approaching. Think of it as an experiment.

I'm sure you will find the reality is different than the abstract theories. There's no substitution for experience.

You have to turn off the laptop sometime, toughen up and go out there and talk to bitches to see what it's all about. Forget about how hard it is and manage your fears. A passive life afraid of doing hard things and taking no risks is a boring life, one filled with regrets.

Quote:

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.”


― Theodore Roosevelt

[XXL]

Dudd just talk to girls you're attracted to without hitting on them straight away or kissing their ass and you'll be fine.

i think you blow it out of proportion just like most red pill audience do it coming up with weird theories. you write like talking to girls was some sort of demeaning act for a man. like a random girl should deserve your attention first chat her up. ditch that mindset. cold approach is random as hell you have no idea who the girl is beforehand. so just break the ice with the ones you're interested in and see where it will take you.

[memcpy]

You don't have to start off blocking huge chunks off time for approaching.

Chances are all around you. When you go to work, pass by a cute girl when going to your car, getting gas at the gas station, shop clerks, etc.

Throughout my normal day, I have about anywhere from 1-3 opportunities to chat with a cute girl. I could increase this, but I'm working on a project.

[Prof. Ligate]

Wrong mentality dude. You cold-approach girls for your own freedom of choice.

You see a girl you want to bang.. you talk to her.. make her wet her pants and then decide to sleep with you.

The more you approach, like anything, the easier it becomes. Rejections are straight up never as bad as you think they're gonna be.

Man-up and approach.

[mammal]

(06-06-2015 08:24 AM)Akwesi Wrote:  

... However, even with a good combination of looks, style, and game you can only expect a small fraction of the girls you approach to end up in your bed. That is why it is a numbers game.
...
You sound like you might be the kind of guy who thinks he is putting his dignity and self-respect on the line every time he's rejected by a woman.
...
The best players here have been rejected thousands of times, and learned to shrug it off.

Here's an analogy that I found helpful. You're like a car salesman selling a Corvette. Great car, but you can't and won't sell it to everyone. Some need aminivan to transport a big family, some can't afford it, some don't have a driver's license, some live in NYC and have no place to park it. But it's still a great car. You'e just presenting it to potential buyers. If someone's not a potential buyer, move on to the next one. 99.9% of the population in the US will NOT buy a Corvette this year.

[Libertas]

(06-06-2015 06:18 AM)Alexandrian Wrote:  

My problem with it is that men feed the egos of these self-entitled “princesses” by approaching them. I can’t help to think that I’d look like some monkey jumping through hoops in order to impress and entertain some female. Jumping through hoops is the last thing I’d find myself doing. The mere thought makes me cringe. Also I think it contributes to the demise of civilization. It used to be completely the opposite. Males used to choose which females were worthy of being provided with safety, security and affection.

Get rid of this stupid MGTOW bullshit mentality right now.

Approaching women is manly. 99% of the simps out there don't have the balls to do it. Women like being approached by masculine men. You need to communicate that you are approaching for you, not her. You do that by taking control of the conversation and not treating her like a "princess."

On the contrary, this will contribute to the renaissance of civilization because it teaches men to be masculine and take what they want, and not put up with bullshit.