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How to treat a oneitis without coming off as beta.
05-19-2015, 07:31 PM
Well guys...a bit of an eye opener, last Saturday we hung out for a bit, same ol same ol, that night there was a party of a coworker, didn't figure she was going as she never mentioned it.
Today a friend of mine told me she was there, that night she called me and said she was at "home", I was like uhh.....ok? Didnt understand why she called me to tell me that, I guess I see why now, why would she lie about that?
Lol I feel like such a bitch for getting played, as if I didnt have a ton of signs anyway, worst part is that when I cut her off I know she wont give a fuck yet I will be the one that got "hurt".
Am I wrong for being angry? I hate the fact that I got played, like what was the point of all this? Because she loves attention? I will see her tomorrow, I want to ignore her completely 100% like not even say a word but wouldnt that just make me seem like a bitch? And when the inevitable "what is wrong with you?" Comes, what am I gonna tell her how I "feel"? Fuck that.
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How to treat a oneitis without coming off as beta.
05-19-2015, 07:34 PM
Not to mention I feel like shit, not because she does not like me or whatever but it makes me think, what am I doing wrong? Apparently im such a beta or bitch that this girl felt she wanted to take me for a ride?
In the end it is an experience and learning lesson, I will grow and I wont let it happen again.
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How to treat a oneitis without coming off as beta.
05-19-2015, 07:36 PM
It's been said many times, you were willing to be her orbiter and gave her attention. Stop doing that now, just cut her off completely.
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How to treat a oneitis without coming off as beta.
05-19-2015, 07:45 PM
If you work with her, don't act all butt hurt.
Be 100% focused on your goals and your work tomorrow, not on her or how you feel about her. Just chalk it up to a learning experience. No need to be angry. Have the mindset that no matter what happens to you, you'll come out on top.
Focus on your baseline, don't let her behavior fuck with your head.
Per Ardua Ad Astra | "I have come here to chew bubblegum and kick ass. And I'm all out of bubblegum"
Cobra and I did some awesome podcasts with awesome fellow members.
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How to treat a oneitis without coming off as beta.
05-20-2015, 11:29 AM
Who cares what she did, just like you, she doesn't owe you anything.
You need to remember that you don't owe her a damn thing either.
Also, she could've been at the party, then went home, who knows, who cares.
What you should do like the above and many other posters have been saying.
Cut this bitch off - focus on yourself. Do not act emotional around, just keep a cool demeanor.
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How to treat a oneitis without coming off as beta.
05-20-2015, 02:45 PM
Wow, this thread sounds like me, last summer!
Oneitis? check!
Coworker? check!
obsessive? check!
Hugging and hand-holding? check!
Girl lies and played me? check!
What did I do? First, I took my friends' advice of "just grab her and kiss her". Tried that, she pulled away, deflected, etc.
THEN, I joined this forum, ignored her, and began gaming other females. Even though it was impossible to 100% ignore, I made it obvious that I would not hang out (even though deep down, I wanted to so badly). After pulling a few bangs from Tinder, and even a sweet day-game bang, my confidence improved. Then, one night after a lot of alcohol, the oneitis girl appears. I no longer treat her like a pedestal queen, and guess what. She invites me to her house, grabs ME and kisses me, and I finally bang her! Then again the following week!
Since that night, we have been friends, but not in a way that I'm obsessed with her. She continues to fuck other people, I do the same, we tell each other all the gory details, and it's great! But there is no obsession anymore, and we get a long a lot better because of it.
Biggest thing I learned along this journey was to stop giving a fuck about so many things in life. Remember, you have a limited amount of fucks to give, and somebody once told me that fucks don't grow on trees, so stop giving them out like candy.
edit: actually I joined this forum in 2012, but didn't really start putting the advice to use until last summer/fall, and it has really done wonders for my well being and outlook on life.
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How to treat a oneitis without coming off as beta.
05-21-2015, 10:58 AM
Well update on yesterday.
Saw her as soon as I got in, said hi and kept it moving, kept it moving all day and she asks me if im ok, I say yes are you? She says yea, kept it moving, she then says "see its not me that does not say hi! You walk past me", Im like "ok" and keep on moving.
Eventually she asks to go to lunch, calls and text me, I wont lie I wanted to go but I grabbed my balls and text her "nah I go later".
Later in the night I didnt see her for a while and took a break with some of my boys, she text me "you jerk! You left me!", no response from me, when I went back I asked her whats up with those texts? She said I left her and I said "so? Whats the problem?" She proceeded to talk about how she missed me and this and that, how we are really close, some other bullshit about not being there, I told her "I dont get you.." she then starting asking "why? What do you mean, talk to me" I just smirked shook my head and walked away.
When we left the job by chance we were walking up to the door at the same time, me and her, I got a call from my boy and I picked up, we went our seperate ways without a word.
I gotta say It felt good to make her come to me and show her that im not gonna be some little bitch that follows you around, at the same time I wanted to just go to lunch with her and chill as well, all I could think of was going to lunch with her alone and making a move but I forced myself to fall back.
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How to treat a oneitis without coming off as beta.
05-21-2015, 09:36 PM
This thread is making me feel depressed.
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How to treat a oneitis without coming off as beta.
05-22-2015, 12:38 AM
bang other girls
/endthread
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How to treat a oneitis without coming off as beta.
05-23-2015, 02:18 PM
Fuck her.
Ignored her and she ignored me, Im not gonna sit here crying.
Move on and get with other girls.
Now to work on that confidence of mine..
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How to treat a oneitis without coming off as beta.
05-23-2015, 02:52 PM
Thread summery: Did not treat oneitis, still came off as beta.
Per Ardua Ad Astra | "I have come here to chew bubblegum and kick ass. And I'm all out of bubblegum"
Cobra and I did some awesome podcasts with awesome fellow members.
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How to treat a oneitis without coming off as beta.
05-23-2015, 03:04 PM
Eh what can I say, its my fault, I have learned from this experience and will use my knowledge in the future.
Most dont start as cool smooth alpha players, life has its ups and downs, its how you choose to get back up from that downtime.
Thanks to all of you.