[jwebb1989]

Here’s my story.
I’m 25 and let’s say, I at least think I am very good looking, as do many, many women so I am pretty convinced I am pretty special. I get told often. I’ll start with the gloat to make myself feel better, but this does highlight my problem, I have a huge problem.

I have started being a lot more successful with women, mainly in the 6-8 range. The last 6 girls in my phone are from 5 different countries and all messaged me within the past 24 hours, they visit me (I don't have to go to them). At parties I attend I walk into a room and I am sometimes approached by 2 or even 3 women at once. I really feel I at least walk the walk and talk the talk until a point. I don’t have too many problems with getting laid and can afford to have reasonable standards. Getting women to like me long term is not a problem either (sometimes after initial problems this is a nuisance to me). Boo ya, good for me…etc.

My game is OK, I'm smart and foreign girls are my specialty (because I fucking love foreign girls) and because even if they come from Panama or Georgia (my two most exotic flags) I'll know something about their country they love this.

But it has one often fatal flaw.
And here it is.
I’m a fuck up.
I am flunking Philosophy at University, I am finishing it in a few months but my grades are dire. I don’t have much interest in it. I should have finished uni about 3 years ago but really have been shit with it. The promise of a 24 hour threesome with two women of my choice and Champions League final tickets wouldn’t improve my work ethic toward uni.

I earn a good amount of money. But my work is ridiculously low-value and menial, despite earning a lot so I can afford to travel and buy nice clothes. There is no way I could spin it as being interesting in conversation, even if I point out it has sent me all over the world due to the fact it is flexible work and brings in serious cash. I’d prefer to deny working at all.

So when it comes to a girl asking what I do, at a party or bar or wherever. They can lose interest in just a few sentences of truth. If I tell the truth, some girls just say “oh” no matter how much conviction I say it with. The conversation trails off (Maybe they expect me to say I model or work for MI6 or something). Sometimes I ride this storm, sometimes I don’t. The problem is, I have in the last few months a fair few that “got away”.

I sometimes tell a girl my job is "classified" to duck the bullet. I am socially smart enough as well to have a good idea as to when that will be effective or not. (And that cringes me the fuck out as it's not like me to say it, it's not funny it's gay, it pisses me off if it does work.)
I am not into lying, but have done and it has covered my ass before. Sometime that saps a little of the fun out of things for me though and sometimes I am a terrible liar.

My point is, my game would be dramatically improved and my success rate higher if I had a cause and something I believe in. I know this is my biggest challenge.

And let’s be honest, this is not just about women, but my life in general. Heck I even get embarrassed around some family members when they ask what I am doing at Christmas.

Mostly, I think I know what I have to do. (get a fucking job and play some fucking sport, be a man)

But I am wondering if anyone here had a similar experience with being a fuck up. And what on earth you did about it long term, as well as short term?
Thanks men.

[Ice]

Ok so now the obvious question is:

What is your job?

[jwebb1989]

Thought I'd mentioned it. Window cleaner/guttering
£150-300 a day earnings

[oilbreh]

why does it matter, just brush off the question, say construction, girls caring about such things are looking to date not bang.

[Prof. Ligate]

seems like you already know the answer to your question. the process of becoming a quality man shouldnt be leisurely. what are your hobbies? are you working out? reading? actively improving your game?

[Ethan Hunt]

(05-02-2015 12:23 PM)jwebb1989 Wrote:  

Thought I'd mentioned it. Window cleaner/guttering
£150-300 a day earnings

What's wrong with that?
Are you self employed? If so you already have your shit together, you'd be a business owner after all. If way take the higher value and extract that over the year (300*52 = £78,000) you are under the VAT registration limit so you don't need to worry about that.

[Virtus]

"I own a b2b company" btw. Check out http://www.reddit.com/r/EntrepreneurRideAlong/

This sub-reddit was created by u/LocalCaseStudy in early 2012 to show people how he launched his cleaning company, MaidsInBlack.com. Less than two years later, his company is now doing over $1 Million dollars per year and at least FIVE more companies that were founded from this subreddit are on pace to hit that in 2015 as well. You've stumbled across what is probably the most transparent case study you'll ever see for a local business.

[Rutting Elephant]

If you don't like your major, change it and take the years. Philosophy exams tend to be regurgitation of professors' positions anyway.

[jwebb1989]

Good replies.
To be honest, construction should be an utter shut the fuck up. Trouble with windows and gutters is for some reason, they want to know.

I read and work out - which does the shit. Trouble with the work is it's hard to put down due to the cash involved.

Uni means I only have 2 regular slots and then a day or two of bookings in a typical month. But Summer work flies in. Schools.

It's not what I see myself doing long-term. But £90000+ would definitely be possible for a start up with a couple of employees.

Two reasons it's not for playboys though- Heavy (exhausting, 11 hour days and surprisingly physical) and lame.

[jwebb1989]

"If you don't like your major, change it and take the years. Philosophy exams tend to be regurgitation of professors' positions anyway."

Absolutely.
In three years I could count the number of interesting ideas I learned on one hand. All finished in August though.

It's overdone, and now it's mostly University academics arguing over which way they can imagine air to be. It's heavily biased shit as well.

Having said all that, some of the skills were reasonably useful for inner improvements.

[LINUX]

You're stuck in a bubble man.

You think you're a fuck up because you have mediocre grades and clean gutters?

Being a fuck-up is working a 60 hr a week job, banging the same woman for 50 years, and hoping for a 1 week vacation every 365 days, all because you want to say , "I made it, I am now successful."

[Ethan Hunt]

If you can get £90,000 worth of contracts per year and 2 employees to do the work for you on min wage you are looking at wages expenditure of around £30,000 (gross wages + employers NI) or so per year. You won't be needed to be on site for all that time. I'm not sure about your other expenses but I will overestimate them to say £15,000. Your profit would be £45,000. As I said you will not be required to be on site all the time. This frees up a lot of your time so you can do other things. Your best bet in that situation would be to operate as a limited company. Pay the £9,000 corporation tax, take out a salary of I think £670 per month and take the balance (£27,000) as a declared dividend. That way would pay zero taxes on your personal income, you might actually get a small tax refund of £250 at a rough estimate. If your clients are businesses then it is likely that they are vat registered and will reclaim the vat on their quarterly returns. Operating as a limited company allows you to then say you are a company director. Once your sales are £80,000 you are legally required to vat register.

[jwebb1989]

(05-02-2015 02:09 PM)LINUX Wrote:  

You're stuck in a bubble man.

You think you're a fuck up because you have mediocre grades and clean gutters?

Being a fuck-up is working a 60 hr a week job, banging the same woman for 50 years, and hoping for a 1 week vacation every 365 days, all because you want to say , "I made it, I am now successful."

Easy to forget in days of crisis! But so fucking true.

(05-02-2015 02:22 PM)JordanH Wrote:  

If you can get £90,000 worth of contracts per year and 2 employees to do the work for you on min wage you are looking at wages expenditure of around £30,000 (gross wages + employers NI) or so per year. You won't be needed to be on site for all that time. I'm not sure about your other expenses but I will overestimate them to say £15,000. Your profit would be £45,000. As I said you will not be required to be on site all the time. This frees up a lot of your time so you can do other things. Your best bet in that situation would be to operate as a limited company. Pay the £9,000 corporation tax, take out a salary of I think £670 per month and take the balance (£27,000) as a declared dividend. That way would pay zero taxes on your personal income, you might actually get a small tax refund of £250 at a rough estimate. If your clients are businesses then it is likely that they are vat registered and will reclaim the vat on their quarterly returns. Operating as a limited company allows you to then say you are a company director. Once your sales are £80,000 you are legally required to vat register.

Feasible, but would take months/years to set up. Is very stressful and also from knowledge of others experience intermediate management is a bad idea in that field.
Also, I have employed people before, was pretty useless and ended up having more work and drawing about even.
The guy who employed me before said he could rarely leave people as they always slow down/do a shitty job. He tried employing Eastern Europeans on decent wage which worked a bit better.

But still seems to be doing as LINUX said, 5-6 day weeks and a holiday to Marbella every now and then. Two landrovers, holiday home and a pool (this was a couple of years back) but no spare time.

I will limit myself to 1 day a week from September and reject stop doing industrial jobs.
The business will sell for a bit after everything.

[polymath]

You have so much awesome stuff in your life. Steer the conversation away from work if you don't want to talk about it, and towards your strengths/interests instead. I know a guy who trades on Wall Street who tells girls he's a zookeeper because he doesn't want to dredge up gold diggers.

As for your major, I would switch to something with more earnings potential. The world is a rough place for those who don't have an employment toolkit...and that usually means a strong education, solid work experience, and/or unshakeable drive.

I also think that your lack of confidence about your work is the real reason you lose girls' interest when you talk about it. Girls have way shittier jobs....do you really think a waitress is judging you for what you do?