Social Distortion's "Ball and Chain" and "I Was Wrong".
"Ball And Chain"
Well it's been ten years and a thousand tears
And look at the mess I'm in
A broken nose and a broken heart,
An empty bottle of gin
Well I sit and I pray
In my broken down Chevrolet
While I'm singin' to myself
There's got to be another way
[Chorus:]
Take away, take away
Take away this ball and chain
Well I'm lonely and I'm tired
And I can't take any more pain
Take away, take away
Never to return again
Take away, take away
Take away
Take away this ball and chain
Well I've searched and I've searched
To find the perfect life
A brand new car and a brand new suit
I even got me a little wife
But wherever I have gone
I was sure to find myself there
You can run all your life
But not go anywhere
[Chorus:]
Take away, take away
Take away this ball and chain
Well I'm sick and I'm tired
And I can't take any more pain
Take away, take away
Never to return again
Take away, take away
Take away
Take away this ball and chain
Well I'll pass the bar on the way
To my dingy hotel room
I spent all my money
I've been drinkin' since half past noon
Well I'll wake there in the mornin'
Or maybe in the county jail
Times are hard getting harder
I'm born to lose and destined to fail
[Chorus:]
Take away, take away
Take away this ball and chain
Well I'm lonely and I'm tired
And I can't take any more pain
Take away, take away
Never to return again
Take away, take away
Take away
Take away this ball and chain
"I Was Wrong"
Oh, when I was young
I was so full of fear
I hid behind anger, held back the tears
It was me against the world
I was sure that I'd win
But the world fought back, punished me for my sins
I felt so alone
So insecure
I blamed you instead, made sure I was heard
And they tried to warn me
Of my evil ways
But I wouldn't hear what they had to say
I was wrong
Self destruction's got me again
I was wrong
I realize now that I was wrong
And I think about my loves
Well, I've had a few
Well, I'm sorry that I hurt them
Did I hurt you too?
I took what I wanted
Put my heart on the shelf
But how can you love when you don't love yourself?
It was me against the world
I was sure that I'd win
The world fought back, punished me for my sins
And they tried to warn me
Of my evil ways
But I couldn't hear what they had to say
I was wrong
Self destruction's got me again
I was wrong
I realize now that I was wrong
I was wrong, yeah
I was wrong
I grew up fast
And I grew up hard
Something was wrong from the very start
I was fighting everybody
I was fighting everything
But the only one that I hurt was me
I got society's blood running down my face
Somebody help me get outta this place
How could someone's bad luck last so long?
Until I realized that I was wrong
I was wrong
Self destruction's got me again
I was wrong
I realize now that I was wrong
I was wrong
Self destruction's got me again
I was wrong
The only moment that I was me
I was wrong
Both songs are good metaphors for how I felt my life was being torn apart when my ex-blew up our marriage (especially Ball and Chain). I vacillated back and forth between despondency (Ball and Chain) to rage (I Was Wrong). I Was Wrong just clicked with me one day as I sat in the car waiting for the light to change. This lyric :
But how can you love when you don't love yourself? hit me in the gut.
I had to face the fact that while whore destroyed our marriage I was destroying myself. I got online looking for answers and I ultimately found the manosphere.