[amity]

What do you guys do about old beta provider buddies who are still in your social circle?
These are salt of the earth, decent, down to earth, nice guys, but fuck me are they dull.
They've been there for me in the past, when I was a massive dork with little social skills and no clue about anything red pill, these guys were my social circle when I first came to the city.
So it would be a bit harsh to drop them completely.
But still, anytime I've meet up with them in recent years it's been pretty dull, predictable, uninspiring.
Would much rather be out there hanging with my newer red pill buddies.
What approach do you gents take with old beta mates?
Of course I could just go nuclear and tell them they're a bunch of boring bastards!
But would prefer not to be a prick about it, these are decent blokes after all.

[robreke]

Don't burn any bridges.

Just phase more and more away from them as you phase into your new found player lifestyle and into doing things with your new friends.

They can still be "friends" without doing things with them as much or eventually....doing anything with them at all.

[Laner]

Be very careful. You said it yourself, you were a massive dork before and they were there for you.

I see guys in your situation massively overcompensate for their past ways and become a caricature of how they perceive 'alpha' male 'red pill' men to be. Most often it comes across as being bullshit.

Look at the men you want to be like. They are definitely not condescending, which it sounds like are are or want to be.

[amity]

Thanks for the replies. I'm calling a spade a spade here, but perhaps it comes across a bit condescending admittedly. One of them just got the heave ho from his wife, so I should really go along and meet up with them, could be an opportunity to steer this feller out of those beta bucks waters.

[polymath]

Friends are friends. It a better to have true friends who are lame than to have fake friends who are cool and interesting.

[Dalaran1991]

(04-26-2015 03:32 PM)polymath Wrote:  

Friends are friends.

Yes. Being a good friend have nothing to do with them being redpill or blue pill. I have a great blue pill friend since childhood and he would do everything for me. Granted I may not go out and game girls with him, but so what?

And likewise a guy being redpill might also turns out to be quite a competition for you.

I do have to admit that since turning redpill I hangout less with my bluepill "friends". Being redpill in itself makes me value quality over quantity, so although I hang out with more or less the few 3-4 guys, they slowly become my wolf pack. Beat having bunch of friends who help you with nothing in life any day.

[Comte De St. Germain]

Keep them mate. You may not hang with them all the time but if they invite you over or occasionally you just want to invite them over for Tekken or something to keep the relationship going. Thing is for a lot of my beta friends they would take a bullet for me and vice versa. They may not be the coolest people but if shit were to go down they would be the first people to help me.

[SUPER1NE]

Keep them. I have a couple of blue pill friends, who refuse outright to change. They are still generally fun people to be around, I just don't take their advice on women and such. Keep them around, unless when you want to go game some ladies..

[Tigre]

Have you tried putting them together with your new "red pill" friends?

Arrange it so it's you, two to three red pill friends and only one of your original buddies. That will force your beta buddy to go with the flow and not veto things.

[WESTY]

You mentioned they were dull. My advice is to keep them, limit your time with them and only do things that are fun with them. I spend my time with blue pill men playing sports / watching sports. Make sure the venue you pick will make them less dull and steer them away from conversations about their wives or women in general, they will never get it. The key ... You control the flow with these friends, don't call them ... They will always call you / reach out to you. Continue to search for more red pill friends.

[Doofer]

What do you do with the new red pill friends? Go out to clubs or bars, strategize about pickup? That's fun but you'll still want your old blues around to do other guy stuff with.

[KTK]

Bro before ho's ...

Be the alpha AND leader in the pack.

IMHO

Women's relations run on emotions.

Men's , they run on credit ratings.

[Bear Hands]

So they're dull, predictable, and uninspiring. What do you do with them when you're around them?

I have a couple of old buddies who are blue pill. I still have a good time with them when we go floating down rivers and fishing during the summer or when we get drunk and grill while throwing a frisbee or baseball around. They're more of a chore to be around when the weather doesn't cooperate and we're confined to indoor activity, but otherwise we can find fun things to do.

I don't hide any red pill leanings around my friends, though I try not to be confrontational about it. Maybe your red pill qualities will influence them. Some guys are waiting to see that it's ok to express red pill opinions.

[brianmark]

95% or more of the guys in the West are beta. Never tell them about your alpha life, because they'll just hate you for it. They'll start making up lies to compete. Just keep a low profile with them and see them when it benefits you.

[Savior]

I think we can break the discussion down to these 4 options for OP:

a) Keep a low profile and don't tell them about your new player life

b) Try to integrate them in your new Socialcycle and hope they adapt and change (subtle way)

c) Tell them about what you doing straight away and hope they listen (direct way)

d) Ditch them by not writing them or tell them they are too boring


The Question to the OP is, would you WANT them to change?

[dassad5a5]

It's better to have beta friends than no friends at all/fake friends.

[Hardy Daytona]

(04-26-2015 10:36 AM)amity Wrote:  

What do you guys do about old beta provider buddies who are still in your social circle?
These are salt of the earth, decent, down to earth, nice guys, but fuck me are they dull.
They've been there for me in the past, when I was a massive dork with little social skills and no clue about anything red pill, these guys were my social circle when I first came to the city.
So it would be a bit harsh to drop them completely.
But still, anytime I've meet up with them in recent years it's been pretty dull, predictable, uninspiring.
Would much rather be out there hanging with my newer red pill buddies.
What approach do you gents take with old beta mates?
Of course I could just go nuclear and tell them they're a bunch of boring bastards!
But would prefer not to be a prick about it, these are decent blokes after all.

It depends on your level of interaction.
Up until the new year I had a pretty large group of infrequent beta friends. There was a time when I tolerated them and indulged them on their flights on fancy on winged unicorns of delusion but as I came to take the red pill more and more I found my tolerance threshold for bullshit steeply plummeting.
As you decide to surround yourself with quality people your interaction with you old circle invariably diminishes.
If you still see them on a regular basis or if they have any moorings in your day-to-day life then it's best not to rock the boat - using the nuclear option, you may find the fallout spreading to other areas of your life you hadn't expected. In that case it would be best to go silent.

But whatever your decision, don't feel the need to continue your interaction on a misguided sense of loyalty to them for their previous behaviour. Your only loyalty should be to yourself.

[Cobra]

I think we're overusing "red" pill vs "blue" pill in the context of friendship. Your friends are your friends. One of them may be whipped by his wife, but he may have your back in a knife fight, whereas your supposed "red pill" friend may pussy out in the same situation.

You can't just decide "who" is red pill and who is not. Some people are more red pill in some situations than others. There are some guys I know who are great sales people for example and very "red" pill when selling. However, when it comes to women they are "blue" pill. Most people (some on the forum included) don't know the difference.

Be careful when you attempt to draw that hard and fast line when you assess something as valuable as friendships.

[YoungArt]

After taking the red pill and adapting to its mindset, I´m starting to lose interest in my friends. Most of my close friends are betas/AFC´s and blue pillers. I´ve been friends with them for many years and although I like them I´ve noticed that I no longer share the same interests as they do. Especially when it comes to women and relation-ships.

Trying to convince them, often ends up in arguments and frankly I´m getting tired of it.
Their unknowingness of game leads to cockblocking me when I´m trying to pull a girl.
One of my friends is a natural. However, even he will cockblock me. Probably out of jealousness and unawareness.

I feel like the only solution to this problem is getting together with like-minded guys. I met some guys at the Roosh lecture in Berlin and I really enjoyed their company.

They say a player is alone but never lonely - maybe this is true..

[Hazaer]

I am in a position here with 'friends' who are worse than the blue pill ones. My social circle consists of mostly blue pill people due to my work situation. But, the worst part is that these 'friends' always seem like they want to compete with me and it annoys the hell out of me. The bind that I am in now is that I have made commitments of travelling with them in back packer circuits which I really regret now. They like to talk like they know it all and are pretty close minded and prejudiced that I know returning that kind of emotion at these ignorants is not helping with me being a better man but it gets very frustrating at times. But I sometimes feel that not letting them know my opinions is bad frame in general.

Some instances that can maybe illustrate the situation. Will be helpful if you guys can help respond to these as I got to face these guys professionally for quite some time.

1. Girls - They seem to think that I am better with girls but yet when I try to give them some ideas to approach, they chicken out, give some excuse and tell me to get a girlfriend first.

2. Very prejudiced - They keep alluding to the fact that people of my race behave in a particular way with respect to their habits regarding finance. I tend to spend lesser on things like food because of my diet but more on going out/drinking but they cant seem to understand this. It is getting annoying telling them that it is not true for all and I find it exasperating arguing with them.

3. Very selfish - If I get to know an event, or a place and I bring them there, they are always quick to leave the place if they are not interested without much gratitude or interest in my opinion. I too feel petty calling them out on this sometimes. Most of the times, these are social events with alcohol and they have moral objections to this and this can be a sticking point in a trip with them.

4. Very argumentative in an immature way - Recently, we booked a room with a queen sized bed and a single bunk bed. Between the two of us, he immediately became hostile saying he got to have the queen bed as he found the place first although both of us were searching for it and we paid half for that place. I dont know how a mature man can react to this. Give it up to him or trying to reason it out like adults and settle it in a fun way like a coin toss?

I know that the obvious answer is to cut off these people from my life but I got into this commitment to travel with these people. I would just like to ask how to keep my frame and be composed with this kind of friends while doing my redpill stuff like interacting with women? Should I just keep a distance and plan my own itinerary? Should I introduce/include these guys when I talk to women since they will be hovering around me? Kind of spent a lot of money planning for this trip for the new year for accommodation and flight. Gaming is definitely a possibility but with these people around it doesnt look like fun.

Also, in day to day conversation how should I interact with these guys? Any opinion that I have on anything is sure to be opposite to what they have and it always becomes more like an argument.

Thanks for your suggestions guys. Gosh! I find keeping the right frame around this people is a true challenge to see if you are really red pill or not.

[kiwi12]

You are right you should cut them off, but since you cant i strongly suggest to read this book . It changed my life and i'm sure it will change yours.

[Hazaer]

(11-09-2016 08:59 AM)Hazaer Wrote:  

I am in a position here with 'friends' who are worse than the blue pill ones. My social circle consists of mostly blue pill people due to my work situation. But, the worst part is that these 'friends' always seem like they want to compete with me and it annoys the hell out of me. The bind that I am in now is that I have made commitments of travelling with them in back packer circuits which I really regret now. They like to talk like they know it all and are pretty close minded and prejudiced that I know returning that kind of emotion at these ignorants is not helping with me being a better man but it gets very frustrating at times. But I sometimes feel that not letting them know my opinions is bad frame in general.

Some instances that can maybe illustrate the situation. Will be helpful if you guys can help respond to these as I got to face these guys professionally for quite some time.

1. Girls - They seem to think that I am better with girls but yet when I try to give them some ideas to approach, they chicken out, give some excuse and tell me to get a girlfriend first.

2. Very prejudiced - They keep alluding to the fact that people of my race behave in a particular way with respect to their habits regarding finance. I tend to spend lesser on things like food because of my diet but more on going out/drinking but they cant seem to understand this. It is getting annoying telling them that it is not true for all and I find it exasperating arguing with them.

3. Very selfish - If I get to know an event, or a place and I bring them there, they are always quick to leave the place if they are not interested without much gratitude or interest in my opinion. I too feel petty calling them out on this sometimes. Most of the times, these are social events with alcohol and they have moral objections to this and this can be a sticking point in a trip with them.

4. Very argumentative in an immature way - Recently, we booked a room with a queen sized bed and a single bunk bed. Between the two of us, he immediately became hostile saying he got to have the queen bed as he found the place first although both of us were searching for it and we paid half for that place. I dont know how a mature man can react to this. Give it up to him or trying to reason it out like adults and settle it in a fun way like a coin toss?

I know that the obvious answer is to cut off these people from my life but I got into this commitment to travel with these people. I would just like to ask how to keep my frame and be composed with this kind of friends while doing my redpill stuff like interacting with women? Should I just keep a distance and plan my own itinerary? Should I introduce/include these guys when I talk to women since they will be hovering around me? Kind of spent a lot of money planning for this trip for the new year for accommodation and flight. Gaming is definitely a possibility but with these people around it doesnt look like fun.

Also, in day to day conversation how should I interact with these guys? Any opinion that I have on anything is sure to be opposite to what they have and it always becomes more like an argument.

Thanks for your suggestions guys. Gosh! I find keeping the right frame around this people is a true challenge to see if you are really red pill or not.

(11-09-2016 12:33 PM)kiwi12 Wrote:  

You are right you should cut them off, but since you cant i strongly suggest to read this book . It changed my life and i'm sure it will change yours.

Read the intro and it's an interesting concept that has been pursued.

1 thing I realised over the years as I got older is that quality friends who are red pill often drift away because they are being pulled in all directions by so many people while the blue pill ones and the wannabes stick to a particular group and dont want to let go because they have no where else to go or are too insecure to spread their network circle regardless of whether it is with guys or girls. It is true that if you want to know about a guy you just have to look at his friends. The problem with these guys is that the older they get, the more stubborn fixed and argumentative they can be. Its truly unfortunate to be a blue pill guy in his 30s.

One coping mechanism that I am developing is to keep conversations with these guys to a minimum, resist the urge to react and eject quickly. I got to get a book while I am not opening girls to while away the time and reduce conversation while travelling. Like I mentioned, some tips to keep away anti game friends while conversing with women without seeming rude would be helpful. Cheers

[XXL]

I don't mix all my friends together. I divide people into certain groups and keep particular groups separate. This way I can keep up with them all and keep diversity alive.