[Bey]

So I found myself in the rather odd situation the other night during a texting session where a girl was asking me for advice about another guy.

So here's a transcript of (most of) what we wrote:

She Wrote:

Actually I need your advice..
he is vegan so my friend told him that I was vegan .. So she has classes with him every single Friday and for this whole month I never bothered to meet him
But last Friday I went to say Hello and everything went OK, then we started to message via whatssap always talking about vegan staff
and then, this week when I went to my first day of trainning at ****, he came to say 'hello' but we couldn't talk too much
and he hasn't written back since xDDDD"

I texted back:

I Wrote:

Don't worry, you can take a fortnight to respond as well.

(Which, I agree, is a pretty poor response).

She then went on to write

She Wrote:

But you know on whatssap it says when they read the message, or when they are online
actually the next day, he sent me a picture of a vegan cake he made.. and I answered like.. Are you going to bring me some on Friday? If not it would be evil.. or something like that and then he never answered back

I Wrote:

So what are you asking me exactly?

She Wrote:

My question is.. what does it mean? xD

It was quite late, I was tired and I simply couldn't keep my cool, so I got annoyed by the fact that this girl was degrading me in such a way and thus I came up with this response (which I think is pretty 'beta', since it shows jealousy).

I Wrote:

I can tell you the reasoning behind his lack of messages and give you an insight into the mind of a man...But if you think that I'm going to do something like offer you 'dating advice', then you're gravely mistaken.

Then she responded

She Wrote:

I don't want to date him at all, but it was nice to meet someone who is vegan, im absolutly sure he might be the only one here but that ddoesn't mean I like him
Does he hate me before I couldn't stay with him because I was obiously working?
And he is 27, my limit is 25

Then I went full 'beta' and actually gave some 'advice'

I Wrote:

No. You're overthinking things.
Sometimes I get messages which are then marked as read (whether on Facebook or Whatsapp) and I don't respond to them for weeks...more often than not because I simply can't be bothered.

Then

She Wrote:

I dunno.. because we used to message a lot and it was like.. suddenly he just stopped
So tomorrow he is coming.. and I don't know what to do xD

Then I picked up my game (albeit slightly), and wrote back

I Wrote:

You seem awfully excited about the arrival of this gentleman. Perhaps I should stay away as I must send your heart rate into overload.

I Wrote:

I'm going to go to sleep. Perhaps you can ask your new-found friend for advice after I haven't messaged you in a week

I've put in bold the parts that give away the fact that she obviously does like this guy, in spite of what she says. I think that I showed far too much emotional attachment in this exchange and I want to know how I could have dealt with it better so that I can hopefully deal with it better in the future. How would an 'alpha' have dealt with the situation?

[samsamsam]

Next time tell her to ask her girl friends...

[WesternCancer]

the number 1 problem here is that she's in the process of 'falling' for this guy so there's not a whole lot you can do about it. her mind is set on him and it sounds like you've already dropped the ball if she's coming to you for advice.

other than just writing her off as a non prospect a couple solutions:

1. don't be so formal with your language

2. don't actually try to help her just give broad strokes mostly conventional advice. The only hope you have now is to be friendly but not emotionally connected with her. If you want to bang her let the vegan guy feelings run its course and try to get her attracted to you by becoming more attractive. best bet would be to get an attractive girlfriend and subtly put the girl you had a conversation with down and flip the script on relationship advice.

3. never show anger or bitterness. you can never gain anything from being passive aggressive.

This being said if she was coming to you with advice while they were dating (relationship problems) you might be able to run some long pussy hoodoo and get the bang but the effort isn't really worth it

[godofwar]

If asked for advice about another guy then either make fun of her for asking you for advice, or give a succinct, short and to the point piece of advice that makes it clear you are not up for further discuss the point. Which route you take depends on whether you are attracted to her or not.

[Ice]

Don't answer stuff like that.

Just send a 8======D or something like that.

But no discussions about other guys and dating advice

[LINUX]

Stop being friends with women bro. For real , stop doing that.

this conversation should have never happened. Be more aggressive. Stop trying to be dr Phil.

[WestIndianArchie]

Tell her to send you some nudes

[Cobra]

She's maybe .. Trying to fuck him. Not what she said, I know.

[Simeon_Strangelight]

First of all - unless you have already fucked her and are friends with her.

My response would be:

"Sweetheart - the only advice of how to get a man I can give you is how you can get this fine specimen - me - into your bed. I can give you real quality advice on how to pull that feat off. For any other advice in relation to other men - please go to your girlfriends and male girlfriends."

So - no advice on other men - never ever... unless you fucked her and she is a friend to you as I said before or she is family or something like that.

[OregonToSoCal]

Like the others already said, don't be friends with other women and for the love of god don't be their emotional tampon. A simple "LOL let me know how that works out for you" then silence is more than enough of a response.

[DJ-Matt]

She Wrote:

I don't want to date him at all, but it was nice to meet someone who is vegan, im absolutly sure he might be the only one here but that ddoesn't mean I like him
Does he hate me before I couldn't stay with him because I was obiously working?
And he is 27, my limit is 25

Ah the good old on why she won't date someone that has started ignoring her.

[Bey]

(03-27-2015 02:50 PM)WesternCancer Wrote:  

1. don't be so formal with your language

It's actually been working quite well for me so far.

WesternCancer Wrote:

If you want to bang her let the vegan guy feelings run its course and try to get her attracted to you by becoming more attractive. best bet would be to get an attractive girlfriend and subtly put the girl you had a conversation with down and flip the script on relationship advice.

Incidentally, I have started spending a lot more time with an attractive girl, which she knows about. So it's almost like she's using your advice against me.

But the idea of asking her for 'relationship advice' of my own seems like a good one. I just wonder if there's any possibility of it backfiring.

WesternCancer Wrote:

never show anger or bitterness. you can never gain anything from being passive aggressive.

I identified this fuck-up myself which is why I felt the need to post this thread...I just don't know the extent to which I fucked up.

godofwar Wrote:

Which route you take depends on whether you are attracted to her or not.

Unfortunately, I am. She ticks so many boxes for me, although she's certainly not without her (quite major) 'red flags'. 'Game' is difficult when you feel like you've got something to lose.

Zelcorpion Wrote:

My response would be:

"Sweetheart - the only advice of how to get a man I can give you is how you can get this fine specimen - me - into your bed. I can give you real quality advice on how to pull that feat off. For any other advice in relation to other men - please go to your girlfriends and male girlfriends."

Since I can't rewind the clock, I will have to keep this beauty for next time.

Cobra Wrote:

She's maybe .. Trying to fuck him. Not what she said, I know.

Indeed. I highlighted the parts of her message(s) which suggest that. It's not even particularly subtle either.

There's been some great advice so far. I'll have to open this page again for the next time I find myself in this situation, which could be quite soon.

[Simeon_Strangelight]

BTW - don't feel bad - it happens to the best.

I remember this one interview with Johnny Depp where he described how he once bedded a hot model/extra from the Pirates trilogy. He got her in his trailer and she said that she had the hots for Orlando Bloom and whether he could help her get to know him.

Depp said: "That's not how it works, sweetie. It's either me or no one." Of course she fucked him despite preferring Orlando - heh. Johnny knows how to keep frame.

[Natural Born Gyalist]

Several available answers:
"Why are you asking me this?"
"Ha, you are asking me for dating advice?! I dont do "dating".
"Sounds like you gave him the pussy on a plate and he turned it down, maybe he is gay or maybe, idk... (trail off)"
"Im way too handsome and suave for you to mistake me for Dr. Phil."
"Well he is a vegan, I guess he doesnt like fish."
"Look I get it other guys you work with want to have sex with you. Women at my job want to fuck me too. Are you coming over or what? Otherwise I need to make other plans."
"What did I tell you about mentioning other men in my presence?" This last one works great for some chick that has some celebrity crush. "What are you his publicist?" Anytime a woman is speaking about another man in your presence for any period of time other than in passing, it is a shit test. You think I am going to sit and listen to how much some random chick loves Tre Songs, or thinks David Beckham is dreamy, or how Channing Tatum/Ryan Gosling is their favorite actor for any unreasonable amount of time? Women who do that are asking to be told to shut up or called on their disrespect. Maintain frame.

[Il Bersagliere]

"Do you have any gay guy friends?"

[Lance Blastoff]

I'd go with either "you should talk with your girlfriends" or "i don't know. sorry."

[Rawmeo]

"Ask your girlfriends. I can give you advice on how to get me only." No need to make long explanations

[SUPER1NE]

"I'm way too handsome and suave for you to mistake me for Dr Phil" that's actually a gem NaturalBornGyalist I need to use that whenever I get asked for advice.

[MY DETROIT PLAYAS]

Next time tell her:

[heavy]

I'd just go succinct sexual.

"Give him a blowjob."
...then...
"...as long as you're good at blowjobs"

Short so you're not investing time in another guy getting laid. Sexual so she knows you're comfortable. Plausible deniability because maybe you're being sarcastic (this is important in a lot of communication). Maybe even some blowjob skill qualifying, though she'll probably see right through it.

[DonnyGately]

Don't bother to respond for real - either be funny/sexual or tell her to ask a girl.

[Virtus]

[LeeEnfield303]

Just. Say. No.