Quote: (06-05-2011 04:41 PM)Giovonny Wrote:
Athlone,
These girls DO NOT say that they want thugs.
They describe their ideal man as..."chocolate, with dreads, good skin, no kids, nice body, nice teeth, nice smile, money, strong, respectful, can cook/clean, can dance, honest, gangsta, nice, bad man, and their mother raised them right"
Honest and respectful...but with dreads, tattoos, "gangsta" and a "bad man".
In other words, a gangster who isn't in a gang. He needs to look and behave like a thug (that is what a "bad man" does in Jamaican slang), but somehow must also be honest and respectful.
They want thugs, just without the typical downsides of jail time, domestic abuse and/or early death.
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Remember, these are teenagers from Bed-Stuy. Its not like we are getting this report from Beyonce, Gabrielle Union, Alicia Keys, Halle Berry, and Oprah.
Because Beyonce, Halle Berry and Oprah(read: a bunch of famous celebrity multi millionaires) would provide an opinion far closer and more representative of the norm in black America than would actual residents of these black communities?
That makes no sense.
Then again, if you must to hear what Beyonce thinks...
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We are getting the opinion of teenagers who are probably from the projects. Take what they say with a grain of salt.
Its like going to a poor white trailer park and interviewing some teenagers there. Their perspective is not white America.
Not comparable if you know anything about socio-economic ratios.
Most black Americans are urban and/or middle class or lower. Most whites are suburbanites, middle to upper-middle class or above.
When you go to a working class inner city community and talk to blacks there, you're talking to the common denominator within that demographic. There are not as many poor whites as there are poor blacks(proportionally). Blacks earn far, far less than whites do on average.
This is a lot closer to "normal" than you think.
This is aside from the fact that the entirety of black media glorifies the lifestyle/appearance/imagery of the "gangsta"/"bad man" and black women are generally known (as txbeachbum and several others here have attested) to respond favorably only to men who've shown developed characteristics honed in actual "hard" environments (as txbeachbum said "not acting hard, being hard due to environment") and have very little tolerance for "softness" (unlike average white or asian women).
I don't know what more evidence you need. Black american women want guys who either are or look like thugs. They seek and they reward the closest representations they can find on average, and are not very tolerant of men who stray to far from these aggressive, direct and "hard" personas.
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One girl says that they want a "gangsta" but then they argue over the definition of "gangsta". They say that a "gangsta" is not someone in a gang but someone is "thorough". They clearly don't mean "gangsta" in a criminal sense. They mean a man with a strong belief in himself and his mission.
That isn't what it means at all.
What they actually want is a man with the appearance(dreads, tatoos, etc) and demeanor of a "gangsta"/"bad man" along with much of the attitude(and, somehow, a ton of money), minus the potential for jail time.
In practice, such men are nonexistant, so they settle usually end up with the next best thing(actual thugs or wanna be thugs who usually aren't rich).
In other words, they want a criminal who doesn't commit crimes, a thug who isn't a thug, and a gangster who isn't gangbanging. He looks, walks, talks, and behaves like a gangsta but somehow isn't one(and is rich).
They want gangstas, just not the jail time/violence that comes with them. In practice, they usually tolerate this, which is why these real life thugs/"bad men" produce so many offspring, often with several women.
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When they say they want a "bad man", aren't they just using Caribbean slang that basically means "strong man".
In Jamaica, that term is most commonly used to reference actual gangsters or criminals, and is also applied loosely to men who resemble them and their mannerisms.
In other words, they want a man who looks and acts the part. The closer you get, the better.
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And as far as tattoos, teenage girls of all races and classes like guys with tattoos. Nowadays, tattoos are really nothing more then a fashion accessory. They are no longer and indicator of prison time, gang affiliation, and street life. Everybody has them nowadays.
Exactly how many average white/asian girls do you know who, if you asked them to list the qualities of their ideal man, would put "tattoos" that high on their list? Of all the white/asian girls you have known with boyfriends, how many of the men have had tattoos?
Are you also going to tell me that, proportionally, there are as many white/asian males with tats(and, for those who do have them, tattoos that are as extensive) as there are in the average predominantly black, urban community? Will you say that your average white kid is as tatted up as your average urban black kid(keeping in mind that 70% of blacks live in urban areas)?
If you really think that this bad boy worship is as exaggerated in white america as it is in the black community, you're being delusional.
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All races of girls like the "bad boy" thing. It doesn't mean they literally want a "bad" person. Its more of a "look" and a style that happens to be "cool".
I have no patience for this type of logic anymore as it is not grounded in reality.
Black American women are
by far the most hypergamous group of females in this country. Their standards for "alpha" behavior, monetary status and outward appearance/demeanor(swag) are higher than you will find in other groups. They demand "harder" men and are far more aggressive in their repulsion when they don't find men who meet said requirements. That's been backed up again and again in this thread and in a host of other empirical sources-all I needs is a camera and a trip to my local black community to prove it, and I live in frikkin upstate NY.
If you think that there is not a clear and significant difference here between black american and white/asian/many foreign women when it comes to this (blatantly obvious) worship of and desire for the "gangster" imagery, then I have oceanfront property in Atlanta to sell you. You might as well be living in la-la-land.
Black american women want harder(that'll include many "thug" personas) men, period.
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The girls all agree that they want a man whose..."mother raised him right"
...who still somehow looks and behaves just like a real "bad man".
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Imo, this video really doesn't say much. You can't form an opinion about black America based what a few teenagers have to say.
My opinion has been formed from MUCH more evidence than this. The video is simply among the more succinct portrayals out there of this mentality.