[sportbilly]

I have just started out in only my 3rd new job in 20 years (been there 3 days only)....and am feeling incredibly uncomfortable about not knowing the people..systems...what the f I am supposed to be doing etc.

I know it takes time....do others experience the same crisis of confidence in a new job role.......and how do you deal with it in the learning period?

[The Father]

I deal with it by trying to listen more than I talk, trying to be as helpful as I can to others, and not rocking the boat.

Every new job takes about 4 months before you begin to become comfortable.

Also, the risk of failure from shooting off your mouth is great - like the body rejecting a transplanted organ.

Conversely, the risk of being quiet is much lower. Some will say "well, he interviewed well but he hasn't made much of a splash". But that's always the case in the beginning, and the people who say that forget that they took six months before they felt comfortable speaking out, as well. Once you do start exceling, people will forget that you started cautiously. BUT if you shoot your mouth off early and stumble, you may not survive it! So be cautious early on.

[void]

Bust your ass the first half year, keep your critic to yourself until you understand the system you are working in.

[The Father]

(02-06-2015 03:54 PM)void Wrote:  

Bust your ass the first half year, keep your critic to yourself until you understand the system you are working in.

That's a good point I neglected - their first impression of you won't easily change. Make that impression that you work hard.

[sportbilly]

I am trying to listen and ask the right questions (not be.strong with views or opinions)....however...difficult to work hard as I am not into the real work yet.

Forgot how hard it is to be in a new role.....really mentally worrying and stressing...for me.anyway

[JustlookingForAGoodTime]

One thing i have always done when i am the new guy is to find out exactly what is the expected job performance and then work like an absolute maniac and exceed the expectations by a wide margin. Once i've become a "Star" i can throttle back and coast in between crucial moments as my reputation as an elite has been established.

[berserk]

Yes, starting a new job is stressful.

Go confident beta in the beginning, meaning don't act too cocky. Everytime someone new is hired, everyone is going to think about how it will affect their job position, career wise and socially. The latter is most evident in offices where women also work in numbers. A lot of people are incredibly insecure about their job, because blue pill as they usually are, they think they are their job and are heavily invested in it for that reason. Little do they know, should they quit or be fired, they'd be talked about day 1 and 2, then mentioned week 1 and totally forgotten by the end of the first month.

In any case, don't try to make any kind of power moves or be too clever in the first month. Just do exactly the jobs assigned, exactly the way they're designed, because if you actually introduce new ideas, people are going to feel threathened. Socially, just small talk, build some connection, sports, music, jokes, the usual stuff. Go to all social events in the first 3 months. Join the rec sport or fantasy sports team or whatever. Get to know who is cool and make some loose alliances.

Finally, realize that everone feels this way, and in a couple of months you will be one of the team, then in 6 months, you'll be well established, comfortable and beginning to establish some ranking. In a year, if you have done well, you'll likely be in a dominant position or see one emerging. There will be drama queens of both sexes along the way, trying to figure out where to fit you in the hiearachy, best is just to be cordial but ignore their attempts. If you do your job well, in less than a year, you'll likely be higher in the hiearachy and your willingness to walk away from the job (which I hope you have), will perhaps even lead to situations where you thorougly establish your status and position. From that point on, you're essentially above petty office politics, because you have management backing.

The above is my experience going from intern to senior manager in my field in 2 years, not claiming it's the same everywhere. I'm self employed now so don't have to deal with any of the office politics bs fortunately.

[Cobra]

Maybe you can tell us specifically what job it is or even what category/industry.

That will allow the brotherhood here to impart more relevant advice. Some jobs, game is more significant than others. By the same token, technical skills can be more significant in others.

Give us more detail so we can truly help you.

[samsamsam]

A few things:

1) Go easy on your self doubts and criticisms - it has only been a few days. Clearly, you are able to do good work and get along well enough since you change jobs so infrequently
2) Interviews - I would say more often than not the right person is hired based on experience, etc. So you're the right guy, whether you believe it or not - better to believe it
3) Be humble, work hard, stay late if you have to - I am assuming you are replacing someone, right? So the Company was getting X output, and if they left and didn't get fired, that means his output was sufficient, so the Company is counting on you to get caught up quickly.
4) Learn about the people around you and the styles they like to operate it - some don't mind a question or two on a drop in basis others prefer if you got all your questions together and asked it at once.
5) You are entering a new environment, you must adjust yourself to the environment. It would be foolish to make them adapt to you - even if you are at the top of the food chain - nothing will piss off people more than the new guy fucking with shit on day 1.
6) Go out to lunch with one new co-worker each day
7) Keep your doubts to yourself - someone may seem to have a sympathetic ear, but people gossip

Sometimes anxiety comes from the unknown and fear. So the best way to deal with it is to start making unknown stuff known to you. Ask whoever is your boss about expectations. Say something like, I want to make the fastest contribution possible what are the Top 3 things you want me to nail down first, now you have some marching orders, now you have something to figure out. Now you start to feel like you have some control (though control is in an illusion). But you get what I am saying.

Go easy on yourself - you just got there. Work hard, don't be a prick at work.

[annoyn777]

I just started a new job as well. I feel on the anxiety aspect, it is hard but natural. I was expecting a lot of anxiety as I accepted a job in the city I grew up in. I haven't been back here for basically 6 years and I was nervous to be back in a city where I knew a bunch of people from my childhood. I was thinking maybe I would run into kids I went to high school with at work, which I was not looking forward to, since it was not the best time in my life. This has only happened once so far, it is a huge corproate headquarters so I mainly just stick to my department and am at my computer most of the day working.

My main anxiety comes from heading down to the lunch area. I had lunch two times with people I work with but most people in my department take lunch at their desks. So, I have been following suit and taking my lunch back to my desk, but I feel a little goofy heading down alone and not having anybody to talk to. This is where the nerves of running into people of my past run into me. I am not really sure why I feel this way, I just feel like I was not cool back then and thinking back to those times makes me live in my head too much and sort of revert back to that mind-state. It is something I have wanted to actively avoid and moving away and being able to reestablish myself really helped rid me of this and develop into the man I am today. I guess I need to reframe and realize I have grew a ton as a person and perhaps this would be a great chance to impress those who used to not even know I existed.

Work wise, I have been doing what most people here suggested. Come early, stay late, keep my head down and focus. Most of my work is writing and doing image editing, and I am working with a huge vendor, so there is constantly new work to keep me busy. I am luck in that regard because a lot of jobs I struggle to find work to keep me busy when I first start.

[SirTimothy]

What I've always done with a new job is to try to make up for my lack of experience with a surplus of effort. I will constantly look for things that need to be done and do them, even if I technically don't have to. If I don't know of anything that needs to be done, I'll ask a supervisor if there's anything that needs doing. So even if I'm not doing everything right at first, I'll show that I work hard and that I'm learning. After I start getting the hang of things, I can gradually relax a little bit. So far this way of doing things has worked well at all the jobs I've had.

[Ausguy]

It's normal when you are doing something new in life to feel uncomfortable at first. It works the same with gaming women where the anxiety (negative) turns into confidence (positive) in no time.

I find with a new job it takes me a good 2-6 weeks for me to feel confident in what i'm doing!