[Spice]

I'm a pretty good looking guy and often times girls tend to notice me but I'm never sure what to do. I kind of freeze on the inside and nervously walk away. What should I do to combat this?

[robreke]

(01-24-2015 06:31 PM)Spice Wrote:  

I'm a pretty good looking guy and often times girls tend to notice me but I'm never sure what to do. I kind of freeze on the inside and nervously walk away. What should I do to combat this?

Use the search function and read a lot of threads and posts here on the forum.

[el mechanico]

^ Let him ask his question.

[el mechanico]

The answer is.. Smile back and engage while the moment is there.

[h3ltrsk3ltr]

I freeze up too and get a weird stomach crunch. El mech obviously knows but Ive noticed this as well.

I can only react well if I do it without thinking. I just jump on it and smile with a slightly less enthusiastic smile and say hi. If I wait at all I'm going to sound too forced or not respond at all.

I focus on what I'm doing, looking for a book, writing on my computer, but let myself get pulled into conversation. If you're a good looking dude it's easy to let her babble a little and slowly increase your engagement. A remark about what she's doing/reading helps. It doesn't even have to be relevant. Just throw something out there. The key, i think, is just to engage without thinking (read overthinking) and let your natural chillness flow.

[Cobra]

The search function comment is relevant though gents. Reason I reiterate is that there is lots of information there on this particular subject especially. Body language related and eye contact related.

Asking questions on separate threads is cool but people miss out on important information that already exists when they don't do searches and create too many threads out there.

It then makes the search results confusing too.

[The_CEO]

(01-24-2015 06:31 PM)Spice Wrote:  

I'm a pretty good looking guy and often times girls tend to notice me but I'm never sure what to do. I kind of freeze on the inside and nervously walk away. What should I do to combat this?

I have asked this question before in so many words.

Read Roosh's Day Bang. It really helps as far as what to do.
You can overcome it... Good luck!

[h3ltrsk3ltr]

Similar to this thread:
http://www.rooshvforum.network/thread-38269....ye+contact

BEST RESOURCE
ROK article about this (Very Helpful)
http://www.rooshvforum.network/thread-34839.html?highlight=eye+contact

Also, good stuff from the Pros:
http://www.rooshvforum.network/thread-27721....ye+contact

Short threads about contact length
http://www.rooshvforum.network/thread-34276.html?highlight=eye+contact

http://www.rooshvforum.network/thread-22608....ye+contact

http://www.rooshvforum.network/thread-27123....ye+contact

http://www.rooshvforum.network/thread-15816....ye+contact

[Travesty]

When in doubt whip it out.

If that doesn't work smile back walk up to her and say hello.

[WestIndianArchie]

(01-24-2015 06:31 PM)Spice Wrote:  

I'm a pretty good looking guy and often times girls tend to notice me but I'm never sure what to do. I kind of freeze on the inside and nervously walk away. What should I do to combat this?

Your question is about killing the fear inside, not so much about what to say and do.

What to say and do is dead simple for a newb and for a vet, go talk to her. It'll take some time before you know what words and actions that you like to use, and what words and actions get the results that you want. The mechanics of the game are really the simple part of the game. Whatever school of game you like has a step by step process of how to get her into bed.

Before you can start banging, you have to address that inner voice of fear, of negativity.

So when you feel that fear rising and you're feet slowly becoming part of the ground beneath you, and your limbs turning to ice, and your mouth filling with sand and marbles - you have to address THE FEAR.

That internal voice stopping you from ordering the salad instead of the burger and fries, that voice that keeps you online and not out in the world, that is your true enemy.

Defeating that internal demon once and for all takes time.

The incarnation of the demon that appears for the purpose of game is one of the lesser demons you have to face though.

Why are you afraid of walking over to this girl?

Are you afraid of what everyone else is saying and thinking as you walk over to her?

Are you afraid that she's busy and you're bothering her?

Are you afraid that she might freak out on you, and call the cops, or worse yet her Yakuza/Italian Mafia/Crip boyfriend and his goons to come and beat you up?

Are you afraid that she's going to be mean and make you feel even worse about yourself than you already do?

Are you afraid that she's going to want you to keep talking, but you have nothing interesting to say?

Are you afraid that she's going to immediately like you...and then find out that you're a big phony?

How do you get over all of these fears?

It's a 2 step process.

1) If you're the average guy, not even a special guy - you've already lived through worse.

You've been called names
You've been insulted
You've lost the big game
You've been punched
You've not been picked
You've failed a test
You picked Nas in a Jay Z vs Nas contest.
You've lost your keys, lost your money
Lost your parents at a shopping mall
Car wrecks
Dead pets
Dead friends and family
You've been ostracized, you've been hated.
People you don't even know, don't like you. (and you're probably unaware of it)

Something truly horrible has already happened to you.

Yet you live.
You thrive.
You're becoming a better man, day by day, even when you don't realize it.

So to slay this demon, this devil stopping you from meeting destiny - you have to think of these truly low moments, these times when people have done some horrible things to you.

And then breath.

That's step 1.

Step 2 is remembering when you killed it.

The time you won the 3rd grade spelling bee.
Beating the video game w/o the cheat code.
Coming up on the old man's stash of Hustler's
Winning the race
Winning a bet
When your Guild finally got some serious work done in WoW.

That time you were on top of the mountain.

Those two steps, remembering the worst of times and the best of times - those kill the demon.

Ridding yourself of the fear, allows you to walk up to the girl and talk to her.

When you get rejected, come back and talk to us. We got more for you.

WIA

[pheonix500000]

(01-25-2015 02:13 AM)WestIndianArchie Wrote:  

(01-24-2015 06:31 PM)Spice Wrote:  

I'm a pretty good looking guy and often times girls tend to notice me but I'm never sure what to do. I kind of freeze on the inside and nervously walk away. What should I do to combat this?

Your question is about killing the fear inside, not so much about what to say and do.

What to say and do is dead simple for a newb and for a vet, go talk to her. It'll take some time before you know what words and actions that you like to use, and what words and actions get the results that you want. The mechanics of the game are really the simple part of the game. Whatever school of game you like has a step by step process of how to get her into bed.

Before you can start banging, you have to address that inner voice of fear, of negativity.

So when you feel that fear rising and you're feet slowly becoming part of the ground beneath you, and your limbs turning to ice, and your mouth filling with sand and marbles - you have to address THE FEAR.

That internal voice stopping you from ordering the salad instead of the burger and fries, that voice that keeps you online and not out in the world, that is your true enemy.

Defeating that internal demon once and for all takes time.

The incarnation of the demon that appears for the purpose of game is one of the lesser demons you have to face though.

Why are you afraid of walking over to this girl?

Are you afraid of what everyone else is saying and thinking as you walk over to her?

Are you afraid that she's busy and you're bothering her?

Are you afraid that she might freak out on you, and call the cops, or worse yet her Yakuza/Italian Mafia/Crip boyfriend and his goons to come and beat you up?

Are you afraid that she's going to be mean and make you feel even worse about yourself than you already do?

Are you afraid that she's going to want you to keep talking, but you have nothing interesting to say?

Are you afraid that she's going to immediately like you...and then find out that you're a big phony?

How do you get over all of these fears?

It's a 2 step process.

1) If you're the average guy, not even a special guy - you've already lived through worse.

You've been called names
You've been insulted
You've lost the big game
You've been punched
You've not been picked
You've failed a test
You picked Nas in a Jay Z vs Nas contest.
You've lost your keys, lost your money
Lost your parents at a shopping mall
Car wrecks
Dead pets
Dead friends and family
You've been ostracized, you've been hated.
People you don't even know, don't like you. (and you're probably unaware of it)

Something truly horrible has already happened to you.

Yet you live.
You thrive.
You're becoming a better man, day by day, even when you don't realize it.

So to slay this demon, this devil stopping you from meeting destiny - you have to think of these truly low moments, these times when people have done some horrible things to you.

And then breath.

That's step 1.

Step 2 is remembering when you killed it.

The time you won the 3rd grade spelling bee.
Beating the video game w/o the cheat code.
Coming up on the old man's stash of Hustler's
Winning the race
Winning a bet
When your Guild finally got some serious work done in WoW.

That time you were on top of the mountain.

Those two steps, remembering the worst of times and the best of times - those kill the demon.

Ridding yourself of the fear, allows you to walk up to the girl and talk to her.

When you get rejected, come back and talk to us. We got more for you.

WIA

Its guidance like this is why i love this place

[bnmf]

(01-24-2015 06:31 PM)Spice Wrote:  

I'm a pretty good looking guy and often times girls tend to notice me but I'm never sure what to do. I kind of freeze on the inside and nervously walk away. What should I do to combat this?

Part of what I think helps a lot with confidence is having the balls to actually open your mouth when someone makes contact with you physical or otherwise. I try and interact with people as much as possible. Say shit like excuse me when you bump into someone, thank you when someone holds a door or no problem when you get the same, chat with your cashiers and say hello/hi/what's up, or good morning to people who make eye-contact with you.

If this chick doesn't respond whatever, if she does bam, you're in, that simple.

[The Reactionary Tree]

Picking Nas in the Jay-Z vs Nas contest... I'll never live that down.

[Dalaran1991]

No fanboy, but every fucking time WIA post something long:

[The_CEO]

@Spice,
I know what you're talking about and even when I go out with the best laid plans (to open my mouth) I still feel like a deer caught in headlights and "freeze" sometimes. It seriously feels like your brain short-circuits and you can't think.

Apart from reading Day Bang, check out the "Biggest Red Pill" lessons thread. It is eye opening and can help put you in the right mindset... that girls want you to talk to them among other things and just doing that creates attraction so it often becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. Think in terms of conversations, not "approaches" which for me used to make me even more nervous...

One thing I found that works for me is that I normally have a really calm energy level and demeanor so my "opener" totally goes under the radar. Or rather doesn't "Scare the cat" as Roosh says.
The other day on the plane, I commented about a girl's phone sitting next to me and we ended up talking for 2hrs...
And then the next day, I said something to a girl in an elevator about her jacket and we talked for 10mins or so when we got off.
After just a couple of times like this you realize it's just a matter of having a conversation and there's nothing to it...

I also used to be concerned that I'd run out of stuff to talk about and that is where Day Bang is helpful... it gives you a great framework... Now I'm more concerned that I may "over ramble" and over-drop bait when they're already on the hook...

You can also try "affirmations" to get in the right mindset when you go out.

[Comte De St. Germain]

WIA put it perfectly so I'm not going to add much besides this. That fear goes away with experience. I started day gaming a bit over a year ago. Approaching randomly across my college campus I've probably knocked out atleast 400-500 approaches minimum or atleast enough to the point I couldn't keep track of every girl I was seeing/talking/banging too and posting updates. If you're approaching regularly(at the very minimum one a day) you will be in the habit of it after 2-3 months. It's kind of like the gym it will become second nature to you eventually to go there regularly/approach regularly.
Side note: read some of Giovonny's threads or threads he's involved with because that's where you can get the best solid foundation.

[Stun]

(01-25-2015 02:13 AM)WestIndianArchie Wrote:  

(01-24-2015 06:31 PM)Spice Wrote:  

I'm a pretty good looking guy and often times girls tend to notice me but I'm never sure what to do. I kind of freeze on the inside and nervously walk away. What should I do to combat this?

You picked Nas in a Jay Z vs Nas contest.

[Hazaer]

I have got a question that is similar but of a slightly different context. There is this girl(who we shall call Girl A) who is quite cute and I think looks interested. However, we have not actually had the opportunity to talk. So when I am talking to some other girl and Girl A is there, she gives me quite a bit of eye contact.

Would responding look too needy, maybe ignoring her totally might look rude? In this situation, what is the best response?

Typical beta question but thanks for all the replies.

[reino341]

(11-24-2015 09:32 PM)Hazaer Wrote:  

I have got a question that is similar but of a slightly different context. There is this girl(who we shall call Girl A) who is quite cute and I think looks interested. However, we have not actually had the opportunity to talk. So when I am talking to some other girl and Girl A is there, she gives me quite a bit of eye contact.

Would responding look too needy, maybe ignoring her totally might look rude? In this situation, what is the best response?

Typical beta question but thanks for all the replies.

Can't you go talk to her?

[Hazaer]

(11-25-2015 03:07 AM)reino341 Wrote:  

(11-24-2015 09:32 PM)Hazaer Wrote:  

I have got a question that is similar but of a slightly different context. There is this girl(who we shall call Girl A) who is quite cute and I think looks interested. However, we have not actually had the opportunity to talk. So when I am talking to some other girl and Girl A is there, she gives me quite a bit of eye contact.

Would responding look too needy, maybe ignoring her totally might look rude? In this situation, what is the best response?

Typical beta question but thanks for all the replies.

Can't you go talk to her?

She is kind of in another part of the residential block. I have yet to bump into her one on one. She is from a rather conservative culture so chatting her up in the communal area when everyone including her countrymen are there might make her hesitant.

But what would you do in the situation given in the post?

[Virtus]

Are you in a migrant camp or Ellis Island or something? Countrymen??

[Hairz]

Just say the first thing that comes to your mind. If she's farther away then smile and walk towards her and say hi.

I've noticed that any time I approached a girl was when it was spontaneous without thinking about what I'm gonna say.

Imagine you're asking her for help with directions rather than chatting her up.

[Hazaer]

(11-25-2015 10:47 AM)Hairz Wrote:  

Just say the first thing that comes to your mind. If she's farther away then smile and walk towards her and say hi.

I've noticed that any time I approached a girl was when it was spontaneous without thinking about what I'm gonna say.

Imagine you're asking her for help with directions rather than chatting her up.

As mentioned in the opening post, I was talking to another girl and this girl happened to be there as well.

In this case, wouldn't cutting one conversation to walk over and chat with another girl appear rude to the first one and needy to the other girl?

[Hazaer]

(11-25-2015 10:13 AM)Virtus Wrote:  

Are you in a migrant camp or Ellis Island or something? Countrymen??

as in other people from her home country

[GlobalMan]

(11-24-2015 09:32 PM)Hazaer Wrote:  

I have got a question that is similar but of a slightly different context. There is this girl(who we shall call Girl A) who is quite cute and I think looks interested. However, we have not actually had the opportunity to talk. So when I am talking to some other girl and Girl A is there, she gives me quite a bit of eye contact.

Would responding look too needy, maybe ignoring her totally might look rude? In this situation, what is the best response?

Typical beta question but thanks for all the replies.

The opportunity is all but gone unless you approach her the next time you can. If she's giving eye contact, that is when you go talk to her. Waiting usually results is a lost opportunity, and continuing to look at her but not approach/talk to her is not seen favorably by girls.

Stop worrying about what some girl you don't even like thinks of you, it's not rude to excuse yourself from a conversation and go say hello to this other girl.

I think Virtus understands what 'countrymen' means, his question was I think in regards to your living situation, which sounds somewhat odd. You say it's some residential block, with people hanging out in groups of their countrymen, this girl is 'conservative' (muslim?) and never alone, etc. Is this some sort of public housing center? How old is the girl? How old are you? Explaining a little more details would go a long way to getting the best advice.