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Advice for an introvert?
12-28-2014, 01:49 PM
So would you like to go on a date or go approach girls so you can have a riveting joust over constitutional law, or maybe have deep and thorough conversations about epistemology and quantum electrodynamics?
Or are you looking to bury your dick into a girl?
I am rarely bored on a date, since my brain is working at full power to analyze everything she is saying and doing in response to me, including in the context of previous in the interaction, and to predict what future responses will be, and to plan out the steps from 'here to the bed'. You must be thinking of sticking your dick in the girl.
If you want the small-talk to be more interesting, be more aggressive. See what you can get away with saying or suggesting, and how to pull it back. Try new types of humour etc.
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Advice for an introvert?
12-28-2014, 02:04 PM
I'm also an introvert. Check out the following books:
Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion by Robert Cialdini
The Charisma Myth by Olivia Fox Cabane
48 Laws of Power by Robert Greene
I liked them and used them to overcome some of my introvertedness (not that it's possible to entirely overcome it).
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Advice for an introvert?
12-28-2014, 04:35 PM
Quote: (12-28-2014 02:04 PM)Lion of Judah Wrote:
I'm also an introvert. Check out the following books:
Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion by Robert Cialdini
The Charisma Myth by Olivia Fox Cabane
48 Laws of Power by Robert Greene
I liked them and used them to overcome some of my introvertedness (not that it's possible to entirely overcome it).
I'm also an introvert and I won't read books to get "charisma" or anything like that. It is reinforcing a problem with what causes it.
As an introvert I don't want to be more in my head than I already am. I need to get out. It's going out there with extroverted friends and socialising that helps.
Yes, it sucks at first and yes, a few rum & cokes help but not necessary. It is going out that is.
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Advice for an introvert?
12-28-2014, 06:33 PM
Here's my take on introversion:
I think it is mainly used as a cop out for people who are negative and lazy when it comes to being social. Trust me, I've been there.
If people bore you that's not because you are an introvert, it's because you don't make an effort to let them be interesting. Yeah, most people are generally nothing special, but you are never going to find people worth spending time with if you are locked up in your room.
Being a self-proclaimed introvert held me back for a long time. Eventually I realized that my attitude towards people wasn't helping me obtain the kind of lifestyle I wanted to live I changed it.
You can have great conversations if you put the effort in.
Stories can be motivating so here's one:
Last week some random couple walked into my apartment while I was watching Californication. They were friends of my roommate from out of state, but he was down the block boning his girlfriend. The old version of myself would have grumbled and made the situation unpleasant for everyone, but I am a better man now. I paused the show, walked into the kitchen and had a beer with them. They were seemingly normal people, but I did some digging and found out that the dude graduated with the same major as me and now works in DC. He gave me all kinds of insider information about some of the fucked up shit that senators and congressmen do. It turned out to be a great conversation.
The moral of the story is that you have to give people a chance.
There is a lot of power in being a good conversationalist. You can steer interactions to bring out the best in people and make them seem more interesting. Best case scenario is that you make some new friends. Worst case scenario is that you learn something new.
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Advice for an introvert?
12-29-2014, 11:23 AM
I would be careful about making "being introverted" too much a part of your identity. I used to think that way, and while I agree that people have natural tendencies, as you grow you'll see that things are more fluid than you think.
It may be that mindfulness and meditation help with this. As you learn to observe your own thoughts with detachment, you may start to realize that they are a lot less interesting than you thought.
I'm personally at a point where I'm sort of bored with myself, and after years of going overboard pursuing solitary/introverted activities, I would much rather be socializing somewhere.
Don't get me wrong, I can still feel recharged after going for a hike alone or playing guitar, etc...
However, I'll just say that I've come to believe that if something generates fear and/or discomfort in you then it may be the universe's way of telling you that you should pursue it. You achieve the most personal growth when you get out of your comfort zone.
If only you knew how bad things really are.
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Advice for an introvert?
12-30-2014, 09:31 PM
Wow I'm surprised this thread is still around. My situation is quite improved though so I'm much happier. I have a girl that I can bang whenever I feel like and I don't have to be social or take her on dates or anything.
I appreciate all of you taking the time to respond, but I think a few of you are missing the point of my original post. I have no desire to be more social and I don't like drinking as it makes me very sick.
Somebody mentioned me being introverted as a cop out because I'm negative and lazy when it comes to social situations. I'm not copping out, I flat out admit I am lazy and negative in social situations. Remember my goal is to maximize sex per hours spent socializing.