[The_CEO]

(11-12-2014 11:24 AM)Loudou Wrote:  

I hate doing social things. Quite frankly, most people bore me, especially people I don't know well because I particularly hate small talk.

Loudou:

I would try to work on the following...if you are truly interested in people and curious about them (find just one thing...) then they will be interested in you. If you find them boring I guarantee they will return the favor. You don't have to be an extrovert to do that.
In fact it may solve a big part of your "problem", because if you can get people talking about themselves (which people love to do) it will take the pressure off you.

And this isn't junior-level stuff, it's what people like Bill Clinton are masters at.

Some years back I used to have to go to work related parties alone. The first couple of times I dreaded it but quickly didn't mind, for the reason I said...once I discovered how easy it was to get people talking about themselves.

To start with, I'd recommend Dale Carnegie's book, "How to Win Friends and Influence People."

[Phoenix]

So would you like to go on a date or go approach girls so you can have a riveting joust over constitutional law, or maybe have deep and thorough conversations about epistemology and quantum electrodynamics?

Or are you looking to bury your dick into a girl?

I am rarely bored on a date, since my brain is working at full power to analyze everything she is saying and doing in response to me, including in the context of previous in the interaction, and to predict what future responses will be, and to plan out the steps from 'here to the bed'. You must be thinking of sticking your dick in the girl.

If you want the small-talk to be more interesting, be more aggressive. See what you can get away with saying or suggesting, and how to pull it back. Try new types of humour etc.

[Lion of Judah]

I'm also an introvert. Check out the following books:

Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion by Robert Cialdini
The Charisma Myth by Olivia Fox Cabane
48 Laws of Power by Robert Greene

I liked them and used them to overcome some of my introvertedness (not that it's possible to entirely overcome it).

[CaptainCrazy]

(12-28-2014 02:04 PM)Lion of Judah Wrote:  

I'm also an introvert. Check out the following books:

Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion by Robert Cialdini
The Charisma Myth by Olivia Fox Cabane
48 Laws of Power by Robert Greene

I liked them and used them to overcome some of my introvertedness (not that it's possible to entirely overcome it).

I'm also an introvert and I won't read books to get "charisma" or anything like that. It is reinforcing a problem with what causes it.

As an introvert I don't want to be more in my head than I already am. I need to get out. It's going out there with extroverted friends and socialising that helps.

Yes, it sucks at first and yes, a few rum & cokes help but not necessary. It is going out that is.

[General Mayhem]

Here's my take on introversion:

I think it is mainly used as a cop out for people who are negative and lazy when it comes to being social. Trust me, I've been there.

If people bore you that's not because you are an introvert, it's because you don't make an effort to let them be interesting. Yeah, most people are generally nothing special, but you are never going to find people worth spending time with if you are locked up in your room.

Being a self-proclaimed introvert held me back for a long time. Eventually I realized that my attitude towards people wasn't helping me obtain the kind of lifestyle I wanted to live I changed it.

You can have great conversations if you put the effort in.

Stories can be motivating so here's one:

Last week some random couple walked into my apartment while I was watching Californication. They were friends of my roommate from out of state, but he was down the block boning his girlfriend. The old version of myself would have grumbled and made the situation unpleasant for everyone, but I am a better man now. I paused the show, walked into the kitchen and had a beer with them. They were seemingly normal people, but I did some digging and found out that the dude graduated with the same major as me and now works in DC. He gave me all kinds of insider information about some of the fucked up shit that senators and congressmen do. It turned out to be a great conversation.

The moral of the story is that you have to give people a chance.

There is a lot of power in being a good conversationalist. You can steer interactions to bring out the best in people and make them seem more interesting. Best case scenario is that you make some new friends. Worst case scenario is that you learn something new.

[RexImperator]

I would be careful about making "being introverted" too much a part of your identity. I used to think that way, and while I agree that people have natural tendencies, as you grow you'll see that things are more fluid than you think.

It may be that mindfulness and meditation help with this. As you learn to observe your own thoughts with detachment, you may start to realize that they are a lot less interesting than you thought.

I'm personally at a point where I'm sort of bored with myself, and after years of going overboard pursuing solitary/introverted activities, I would much rather be socializing somewhere.

Don't get me wrong, I can still feel recharged after going for a hike alone or playing guitar, etc...

However, I'll just say that I've come to believe that if something generates fear and/or discomfort in you then it may be the universe's way of telling you that you should pursue it. You achieve the most personal growth when you get out of your comfort zone.

[Loudou]

Wow I'm surprised this thread is still around. My situation is quite improved though so I'm much happier. I have a girl that I can bang whenever I feel like and I don't have to be social or take her on dates or anything.

I appreciate all of you taking the time to respond, but I think a few of you are missing the point of my original post. I have no desire to be more social and I don't like drinking as it makes me very sick.

Somebody mentioned me being introverted as a cop out because I'm negative and lazy when it comes to social situations. I'm not copping out, I flat out admit I am lazy and negative in social situations. Remember my goal is to maximize sex per hours spent socializing.

[Simeon_Strangelight]

Blogger Halfbreed had a good post on that subject recently:

http://redpillgame.com/introvert-game-we...vert-skin/

He calls it wearing the Extrovert's skin during Game.

Some men even need to be in solitude - I would not even describe that as being introverted. In future stages you just shift between those expressions of yourself and don't need to call yourself extroverted or introverted.