[jariel]

Girls often do things that I find to be straight up disrespectful. When I'm confronted with things of that nature, I dismiss the girls as being anything worth anything real immediately. When it's all said and done, I can say I got what I wanted out of the interaction, while they're often left confused as to why I chose to exit stage left.

Recently, a friend confided in me that he and his girlfriend are at a point in their relationship that is making him feel like he should remove himself from the relationship.

He wanted to see if she was possibly feeling the same way, so one evening when he had the opportunity, he went through her phone. He didn't find anything obvious in the girl's phone, no pictures, incriminating texts, etc -- however it is apparent to him that she deletes her messages often and has a SMS backup app.

However, I asked him if there were any frequent phone calls and/or texts with to any specific people, especially ones with male names. He said not in her messages, but she's calling a guy fairly often, but not at any unusual times, and he dismissed it because it's a guy he knows as one of her co-workers.

I asked him if she had any e-mails or other message apps connected to her phone, and he said he wasn't sure, I told him to investigate further and let me know if he found anything else.

He came back to me and said that she's also using WhatsApp. Her WhatsApp only has one contact, and it happens to be the aforementioned guy in the call log.

The texts appear to be innocent. Most of them are just random shit about work, however, they are texting each other regularly throughout the day, everyday, including about shit that has nothing to do with work.

I don't care how often you work with someone, but there aren't many work circumstances in which two co-workers must be in constant communication, especially given that these are two people that work at a restaurant, so they are communicating with each other when they are off and obviously when they see each other at work.

So do you really think this shit is innocent?

If he feels like the relationship is on its last legs, then yes she's probably feels the same way. It is obvious that she is already made a decision to get close to this co-worker, thus it is likely something has already happened between them, and ultimately he will be her safety net so she can land softly when my friend drops her.

Don't misread a girl's actions. She does shit with a purpose, and what appears to be innocuous to you, has an entirely different meaning behind it, be honest with yourself as to what it is, and move forward accordingly.

[MY DETROIT PLAYAS]

Not even 48 hours ago spoke to a close friend about the very same thing

His situation is similar but different: He is in fact the guy on the OTHER side of the interaction

He is dealing with a married chick who is trying to "define" their relationship. He told her what it was (and HAD to be anyway) from the top of the show. FWB period. As always - the girl starts to catch feelings and coupled with her crumbling marriage, starts to look for security and a soft landing with the "other man". For the past month or so, she has been getting fucked every which way and kicking him down with paper for his bills.

He also told me last week he had to firmly remind her of the parameters of their involvement. He expressed feeling bad about having to basically give her an ultimatum before she came to her senses. According to him, he provides her with a degree escapism and an occasional listening ear from her troubles and drama on the home front, in exchange he gets what he gets. She wants to be claimed so bad she has gone to the extreme of sharing her rendezvous with her workmates, and it eventually got back to my homie. Reckless behavior to say the least - not only putting her marriage at risk but potentially putting dude in danger too.

Eventually - this thing of theirs will run it's course and she will A) go back to the hubby and work shit out, him none the wiser that her is pussy looser & wallet lighter or B) She will suck it up and bravely end the marriage. Smart money says she will swing from vine to vine until she finds a secure "captain".

Meanwhile - she will continue on a hopeless trail; trying to restructure their arrangement by locking my friend down which would make her "decision" that much easier.

[Dalaran1991]

Good post, though in all honesty instead of doing all that sneaky detective work he should have just walked out the door immediately. Thinking about that shit and getting worked up all over, to the point of having to ask a friend on what to do and what to look for, aint nobody got time or effort for that shit.

Game is not just about getting girls. It's also about having peace of mind and a relatively drama free life when dealing with all their shit. I have enough stuff going on in my life, I dont need to lose sleep over a girl who is whoring herself to some random dude.

I dont blame girls for their cowardly promiscuous nature anymore than blaming fire burns. In any relationship the girls always feel less secure than the guy and they will always be ready to jump ship. If you want loyalty, raise a dog.

[horn]

Walk out the door, see if you follows you.

If so, question her about the behavior.

If not convinced, tell her to leave. [Lies will be exposed around here or next day]

[kaotic]

Always trust your gut, I did. Especially when I felt something "off" with an old ex - sure enough the signs were there (in her phone and FB) and immediately ejected.

You can tell your buddies what you want, but they have to make the decision, all you can do is confirm and confide.

Thing is some guys (even me at one point) wanted proof that shit was going on, things to call them out on, and throw it at them in some plot to hurt them and crush them.

In some cases it's warranted to call the girl out and put her on blast, in most cases it isn't worth the energy at all - just get up and walk out the door.

A girl can say whatever she wants, it's her actions you should watch for (and not misread).

[WestIndianArchie]

Kaotic is on point.

My guess is that your boy's subconscious is putting together 2 and 2, and not coming up with 4 anymore. So that triggers these emotions.

But like most dudes, he pushes away his emotional life and tries to figure out what's wrong with evidence - focusing on his rational life.

This is one of many instances where acting like a capricious hot girl, would be to his benefit.

As for her actions, whether or not she's actively trying to bounce, sharing that kind of emotional intimacy with another man is either her consciously or unconsciously decoupling. It's a disrespect in my EXPERIENCE.

I wouldn't be surprised to learn that
- they've been together for more than 3 months
- sex has lost its frequency and passion

He should bounce asap.

It's gonna hurt, and gonna be messy.
Wouldn't be surprised if his snooping gets mentioned by him, adding a whole other level of indignation on her part.

But deep down he knows that she's been pulling back. And since vagina abhores a vacuum, she's lining up cock to fill it.

It's one of the worst feelings in the world. And I'm betting that the chick will tell him that she's felt something missing A LONG TIME AGO. He'll go into that pity spiral where he blames himself for not noticing her changes, and how he should have been there for her....

She's going to blame *him* for how SHE feels. Like he is some guy in her mental factory pulling the levers, pushing buttons, and turning valves.

At that game level, he is to blame. And it's because he wasn't paying attention like he should have. She's gonna say that he should have been more receptive - when the opposite is true. He should have been building dread and doubt, and getting her to do more and more for him.

She wanted to be ruled, and he lacked the power or foresight to do so.

Heavy is the head...but busy is the man who has to run his life and hers as well.

But this is familiar ground for me, do you want to keep having to run game?

Even the blue pill guys are like, "you've got to keep it interesting for your wife, spice things up, romance her like you did at first"

Red Pill Guys are like, "the fuck that bitch done for *me* lately?"

WIA

[MY DETROIT PLAYAS]

That old "I love you, but I'm not IN LOVE with you" routine

Soothes the hamster just enough to allow her to fuck a stranger

[Onto]

Whenever the subject of male "friends" comes up with a girl I point to the movie "When Harry met Sally". One of the main themes in that movie are men and women can't just be friends. This movie was such a big hit because everyone can identify with it's message.

Women desperately want to believe a man can see her as a subject and not an object, so that's the basic agenda in her claim that guys and girls can just be friends.

If a woman starts to look forward to talking to her male friend/co-worker, goes out of her way to see him, confides her personal life to him, communicates with him off-hours and via cell, then there is clearly an attraction whether she's conscious of it or not.

Any woman who tells her husband she has a male friend is either kidding him or kidding herself.

[Vaun]

(10-21-2014 07:26 PM)Onto Wrote:  

Any woman who tells her husband she has a male friend is either kidding him or kidding herself.

Sometimes women do this crap to mess with you, to try to make you jealous, to try to hurt you. They probably think you wont do anything about it. They can have this delusional fantasy it will make you two closer. Hell, it might turn her on when you get mad.

Men that try to rationalize this behavior are in denial. Especially if they work in a restaurant. Denny's was a poosy paradise in high school.

[Fortis]

(10-21-2014 07:26 PM)Onto Wrote:  

Whenever the subject of male "friends" comes up with a girl I point to the movie "When Harry met Sally". One of the main themes in that movie are men and women can't just be friends. This movie was such a big hit because everyone can identify with it's message.

Women desperately want to believe a man can see her as a subject and not an object, so that's the basic agenda in her claim that guys and girls can just be friends.

If a woman starts to look forward to talking to her male friend/co-worker, goes out of her way to see him, confides her personal life to him, communicates with him off-hours and via cell, then there is clearly an attraction whether she's conscious of it or not.

Any woman who tells her husband she has a male friend is either kidding him or kidding herself.

"I thought we were just friends!"

The classic refrain of women caught sidestepping with another man.

[kaotic]

(10-21-2014 07:26 PM)Onto Wrote:  

Women desperately want to believe a man can see her as a subject and not an object.

^^^^^^^THIS.

[The Beast1]

So here's the real kicker,

Where's the fine line in calling out an affair of the heart if at all?

[General Stalin]

I think there is a slight misconception here. Keep in mind, women CAN have completely platonic relationship with males. In fact, if a platonic relationship is created with a male then the woman will likely keep it that way. Once a woman (especially a taken one) starts bitching to a guy about her personal life, work issues, etc. then that that guy is in the friendzone and has little chance of coming out. That doesn't mean the guy wants to be in the friendzone but being a woman's emotional tampon/snap-chat buddy/beta-chump guy friend is never gonna get that pussy. I work with and know a few females who hold innocent relationships with male co-workers and nothing will ever come of it even though they text constantly about casual personal-life things. It's just something girls do. They love attention and love to chat to whoever will listen and receive them well.

Don't read me wrong, there is a fine line here that can be crossed... At the end of the day just go with your gut. The gut is something we all ignore so easily when caught up in feelings for a girl and we rationalize away behavior that makes us suspicious. Think about it, when was the last time your gut proved wrong? Never, exactly. If you don't feel good about your girl talking to another guy a lot then who says you have to put up with it? ALWAYS look at a girls actions and give fuck all about what comes out of her mouth. We tell ourselves this but don't practice it. You have to focus on the actions and re-act accordingly. Paying attention to actions can also help you be proactive and prevent you from getting burned and help you pave an easier road for yourself.

[AntiTrace]

If your dating and she acts up like that. Call her out and end the relationship.

If shes just a girl in the rotation, make a mental note but don't call her out. Hit it while it lasts, and take lots of pictures.

[ElJefe]

In this instance, where there is no sign of cheating but inappropriate amounts of communication, you need to initiate dread-game.

Since we live in increasingly urbanized environments and meet multiple new people all the time, you're simply going to have to deal with these situations constantly. And yes, your gut might be right, but it's not cool to run around with a nagging feeling of suspiscion. Pre-empt that shit:

Roissy has a lot of excellent advice on dread-game. It includes, but is not limited to:

1. Disappearing for a week without telling her why or where
2. acting increasingly distracted and absent mindedly
3. The specific "dread-game" act - it's an actual script decide to plant real dread in the girl
4. Hang out a bit too long with "friends" after work.
5. Actively seek out flirts with other girls (without necessarily cheating).

Part of the secret ot a successful relationship is a degree of distance. Rebuild that distance with variations on the above themes. Lack of distance poisons the romantic well and dries up the gina.

[Noir]

(10-21-2014 07:26 PM)Onto Wrote:  

Any woman who tells her husband she has a male friend is either kidding him or kidding herself.

Great quote.

For discussion's sake, how would the husband approach this without being a dick?

Marriage seems like a dwindling prospect to me but I am genuinely curious.


re: jariel: I disagree with searching for evidence and stooping to that level; I know once the seed has been planted, there is no going back no matter what the 'findings' may be.

It ends up being disrespectful (notwithstanding if she deserves respect or not) and of course, this depends on your own morality and principles.

I definitely agree with the rest of the sentiments in this thread except the title, to a small degree.

My experiences lead me to believe that, most of the time the girl's actions are a kneejerk reaction to what you're putting out. If you're subconsciously or purposely making her feel jealous, she will act this way and the whole thing just spirals.

I read actions and words sure, but sometimes the actions are brought on by yourself and you shouldn't really occupy yourself with it.

This is touched upon by Dr Eric Berne in Games People Play. People fall into the adult/parent/child roles and you can put 2 and 2 together to figure out how this is applicable.

e.g. Valentines day is coming up and a girl is sending me a gift from overseas. My girl knows this and she reacted by seeking extra attention from others or doing silly things. I am aware enough to not let it bother me or even address it. I read her actions in light of what I have done.

I will continue to be an adult, not adapt to a parent since she is being a child. This is my decision because it is beneath me. I let her know and when she is ready to be an adult again, I will 'reward' with normal behaviour (what attracts her).

Women are always pinging off you.

Plant a healthy seed and it will be a healthy plant.

Plant an unhealthy seed and you will get a rotten plant.

Your buddy needs to re-consider what he is putting out there.

Most women are sluts, yes but we are the ones who bring it out in them.

Society still has repercussions for this behaviour that we are still the ones being pinged off.

[jariel]

(01-28-2015 08:36 AM)Noir Wrote:  

Most women are sluts, yes but we are the ones who bring it out in them.

We're not going to go out of our way to absolve women from responsibility for their actions, not on my watch, not in my thread.

Women are autonomous human beings just like we are, they make choices.

At the end of the day, they're doing what they want to do.

[samsamsam]

I'm confused. He sounds like he is at the end with this relationship. Why go through her phone and shit? Just end it. Don't spin on this more. Don't find that one little questionable text that makes him wonder if she banged this other guy while hanging your friend.

Does he want to find something to justify ejecting? Think of it as New Years resolutions. If you were serious about something you wouldn't wait until New Years to do it.

[Noir]

(01-28-2015 09:28 AM)jariel Wrote:  

(01-28-2015 08:36 AM)Noir Wrote:  

Most women are sluts, yes but we are the ones who bring it out in them.

We're not going to go out of our way to absolve women from responsibility for their actions, not on my watch, not in my thread.

Women are autonomous human beings just like we are, they make choices.

At the end of the day, they're doing what they want to do.

That was not my intention. Essentially, when you're with a woman, she is supressing her natural slutty desire but we have the ability to bring it out in the at our own cost.

I digress.

Disappointing that you ignored the rest of the post, searched for that actual image and posted it without actually engaging in a debate.

If you see my other posts, I am pretty much on the same page with you.

Peace.

[jariel]

We're not enemies, and I was not trying to attack you.

From my end, there was no debate needed as I didn't have an issue with your perspective, I only singled out that part of your post because that line of thinking is something I strongly disagree with.

To say "women are sluts, yes but we are the ones who bring it out in them" suggests that they are either manipulated and/or forced into that behavior by men, as if they don't know what they're doing -- we're not talking about situations under duress.

Again, women do the things they want to do. One of the facets of game that this community seems to adhere to is the thought process that game makes women do things as if they had no intention of doing them.

If you go out Friday night and meet a chick and she decides to go back to your place and get banged, it was because she was horny and open to the idea of getting fucked, and you stepped up and became that guy that she was comfortable going there with, it's not as if she didn't have it on the brain at all, and now that you've shown up, her pussy can't control itself and she just has to fuck you, and only you, right then all because you said some things and behaved in a certain way that suddenly and inexplicably conjured up those desires.

[Ensam]

(10-22-2014 04:06 PM)AntiTrace Wrote:  

If your dating and she acts up like that. Call her out and end the relationship.

If shes just a girl in the rotation, make a mental note but don't call her out. Hit it while it lasts, and take lots of pictures.

Why call her out? Just end it.

Tell her you don't want to be with her anymore and walk away. Far more effective than giving a reason. A girl who's being shady doesn't deserve to know why you're leaving.