[MikeyMikeB]

My best friend of 4 years fucked me over 4 months ago and we haven't spoken since. There is quite a lot of back story. His girlfriend (read: overlord) set me up with her best friend who I'll call Jill. Over the course of 2 months she seemed pretty cool and I developed some feelings for her. Then she made an off hand comment so whoreish that my feelings turned off like a light and I broke it off a week or two later.

I told my friend and his girlfriend about the comment and they said I over reacted and that she's a princess and all this BS. Also, keep in mind, Jill was leaving for college in a couple months, and was desperate to join a sorority. About a month after I broke it off we started having sex again and we were using each other for sex until she left for college. This whole time (about two months) my best friend and girlfriend are treating me pretty bad, up on their moral high horse and, in so many words, saying I was a heartless fuck on repeat.

Fast forward a few weeks and Jill goes to a grad party. She tells me that she got really drunk at the party and "was taken advantage of". I knew that this behavior proved my initial instincts right and I felt absolved for breaking up with her (my friend guilted the living fuck out of me). However I told some people about this and my best friend and his girlfriend thought I broke the trust of Jill for not keeping this info to myself. He then Texts Jill in an attempt to fuck me over and be a white knight. That evening I picked up my cigars at his place and haven't spoken to him since.

My best friend wasn't always like this, he has been emasculated by his girl friend. Even with that said, I did enjoy spending time with them both. A mutual friend and Jill say I should just get over it and talk to him, I say he's a blue pill fuck who needs to apologize. Im sorry if this seems a little high school, it don't believe my behavior is to blame for that but these are the cards I'm dealt.

I know the best advice will come off this forum.

Regards, Mike.

[MikeyMikeB]

And for those curious, the whoreish comment was,

"Before I met you, my plan was to write down every fraternity and fuck one guy from each of them, then I'd probably go back for round 2"

FSU has 32 fraternities.

[Jameson]

You didn't mention the traits that made him your best friend. I would move on, he won't come around until he breaks up with his girlfriend. I'd just focus on other things and not put effort into speaking to him

[MikeyMikeB]

We have a lot in common outside of women and moral BS. Cars, Watches, Cigars, good food, etc.

[lycosidae]

I don't tolerate white knighting. A friend can be slightly beta and I'll keep him around if I think there's hope he'll change, but a relationship dude who is actively white knighting to support his girlfriend's worldview, I just don't think there is hope for such a creature. He lacks character...

[samsamsam]

(10-19-2014 03:39 PM)MikeyMikeB Wrote:  

We have a lot in common outside of women and moral BS. Cars, Watches, Cigars, good food, etc.

Common interests does not mean best friend. Common interests just mean you have common interests.

Deep and true friendship is built on more than common interests.

[MikeyMikeB]

(10-19-2014 03:53 PM)lycosidae Wrote:  

I don't tolerate white knighting. A friend can be slightly beta and I'll keep him around if I think there's hope he'll change, but a relationship dude who is actively white knighting to support his girlfriend's worldview, I just don't think there is hope for such a creature. He lacks character...

Good points, His worldview is marrying the second girls he's slept with, who is 18 and leaving for college in a few months. He is even seriously considering moving with her to Tallahassee.

[Phoenix]

Neither.
My old best friend isn't much different. Poor guy won awards and stuff at uni, but ended up a going-nowhere loser, with a feminist girlfriend who gets wider every year, and who's political opinions he echos perfectly. Sad thing is he chose her because she was the only option in his social circle. Had he been more clued in and better at meeting women it would have been different. He never slighted me once though, he's a good man but just weak.

He's still a decent person when you talk to him (providing you avoid politics), but doing so is horrible now. It's like he's a stuck man now and his life has nothing good about it, nor any hope for the future.

I just talk to him once every several months to ask how things are. He normally has little new to report.

[Deebos]

I'm right down the road from you, few hours, but closer to Gainesville, always nice to know a fellow Roosher is in the greater area.

As far as I'm concerned you not only made the right decision but did what's best for both you and her. Any chick who plans on banging 32+ guys within a 4 year timeframe and fucking brags about it is good for sex and bad for a relationship.

As for your friend, If he can't value a decision you made that is in your best interests and doesn't support you on a situation where he has no skin in the game (ie; he was your friend before he even knew "I want to bang frat guys while in college chick"). Go over to his place drop off a cigar for him and tell him until he has your back again and supports decisions you make that are in your best interests than you will be backing away from the friendship. Keep fucking the slut and treat her nice, hell give her a cigar too (and buy yourself a fuckton of condoms!)

[kaotic]

Keep him distant, if that.

Sad that girls can say things like that, lost cause, just another cum dumpster.

[L M McCoy]

I'd never a choose a girl over someone who is a close friend or even special to me

If he's about to get jumped by 10 guys would you jump in?

If YOU'RE going to get jumped by 10 guys would he?

If you would and he wouldn't dump this tool

[Sombro]

(10-19-2014 03:53 PM)lycosidae Wrote:  

I don't tolerate white knighting. A friend can be slightly beta and I'll keep him around if I think there's hope he'll change, but a relationship dude who is actively white knighting to support his girlfriend's worldview, I just don't think there is hope for such a creature. He lacks character...

^^^This.
The man has no character. Ditch him.

   

[vinman]

Sounds like you had a bitch in disguise as your best friend. Ditch him.

[WestIndianArchie]

I don't agree with all of my friends on all topics, especially dating. So I keep them separate.

You fucked somebody in your social circle and now you're paying the price.

Rekindle the friendship but bang out side of these people.

WIA

[RUIN]

as long as she is a part of his life he will be the snide prick you describe - friend or not I'M now getting on my moral high horse because thanks to a female I lost my friend under similar circumstances. the only thing you can do is ditch him until he learns the hard way, and he will. When that day happens IF he decides to patch things up i'd say you will be looking at a different man, probably one who believes the things he says rather than says them.

[MikeyMikeB]

(10-19-2014 10:11 PM)RUIN Wrote:  

as long as she is a part of his life he will be the snide prick you describe - friend or not I'M now getting on my moral high horse because thanks to a female I lost my friend under similar circumstances. the only thing you can do is ditch him until he learns the hard way, and he will. When that day happens IF he decides to patch things up i'd say you will be looking at a different man, probably one who believes the things he says rather than says them.

I was firm on the position that I wouldn't talk to him until he and his girlfriend broke up. My judgment was questioned heavily this weekend by a mutual friend and Jill, who came into town and told me repeatedly to make up with him so we could hang out as a group again. My guess is that my company keeps his insane Girlfriend in check. I don't put up with her shit for a minute and she becomes semi-half tolerable.

[RUIN]

she has dropped the veneer and now her true nature comes out, and sounds like he's hooked and will suffer as a result. take it as the price that must be paid for what you do - because they wont stop until you see things their way not because its best for you but because it's what is best for them, misery loves company and this is no exception. at the end of the day YOU must make the judgement call on what you believe is right and wrong, sounds like you have now its just deciding if they will accept it or not.

And there is a difference between accepting and sycophants; accepting is my parents on their stance on doing what I have done - they voice their disagreements and why, but they won't stop me. a sycophant like an enabler will encourage whatever you decide and again that is a judgement call that only you can make.

[Courage Reborn]

Bro's before ho's

Sounds like your friend forgot

[RUIN]

(10-19-2014 10:39 PM)Courage Reborn Wrote:  

Bro's before ho's

Sounds like your friend forgot

This isn't just a "bro's before ho's" issue. the OP has explained that the person he was seeing displayed unacceptable behaviour and he responded in kind. It wouldn't matter what it is the friend has sided with his GF and criticized him for doing what any normal person SHOULD do and remove himself from the situation which he did.

[TejasRojo]

I don't know if I would have given him an ultimatum like leave his girlfriend. I would just stop hanging out with him until the inevitable happened or he knocked her up and was stuck with her (in which case never again). I doubt he'll ever see or admit you as being right, even if he does break it off with her or she finds an alpha male to leave him for. Telling someone "I told you so" isn't as nearly feelgood as you would think.

[RUIN]

it isn't about the "I told ya so" moment nor is it putting an ultimatum on the table. they made their choice - you make yours simple as that.

[MikeyMikeB]

I didn't make an ultimatum. I just cut and ran. Im at the realization he's not going to admit he fucked up or was a dick. I was asking if I should reconcile regardless of that, due to a weekend full of unasked for advice by mutual friends.

[RUIN]

no I get what you're saying completely. too often people think im giving an ultimatum rather than realizing that im just stating WHAT will happen based on my own decisions. and like my friend who seems to mirror your friend, I let them carry on their merry little way.

[BadgerHut]

(10-19-2014 11:02 PM)MikeyMikeB Wrote:  

I didn't make an ultimatum. I just cut and ran. Im at the realization he's not going to admit he fucked up or was a dick. I was asking if I should reconcile regardless of that, due to a weekend full of unasked for advice by mutual friends.

Ha, isn't it funny how everyone will give you advice you never asked for? I have to call out a colleague of mine because she's always giving me rude advice I never requested.

Anyway the fadeaway is the right move...he may come back into your life later, at which point if he's remorseful and understands why he was in the wrong you have some potential to repair.

[Drazen]

If you haven't spoken in 4 months, your friendship is over. Move on. It happens a lot and will happen as you go through life, you'll lose friends and never see them again.