Quote: (10-16-2014 03:38 PM)robreke Wrote:
Quote: (10-16-2014 03:14 PM)TravelerKai Wrote:
Rob you still don't get it, do you? Do you understand why you got dumped? If so let's hear it, because you won't find anyone respectable in this forum that would agree with that post.
I got dumped because I pursued her instead of the opposite. Are you saying a husband and wife shouldn't be friends on some level?
I don't think that means that the man is not the leader and she should be feminine. I just think there needs to be a friendship in any LTR. Are you saying that belief is blue pill and beta?
Please elaborate.
Alright let's flesh this out.
Let's clear some stuff out first.
Things a friend cannot be:
1. Someone that must submit underneath you physically or emotionally.
2. Someone that must obey.
3. Someone who must raise his children (teach and guide).
4. A friend is not granted legal immunity to not testify in court against the other friend. (Spousal Privilege)
5. A friend is not obligated to keep another persons house in order.
A best friend does not make it any different either. To get a clear understanding of what a marriage is in the first place, you have to look at it from the perspective of an Abrahamic based religious foundation. You could also look at it from a Confucian perspective as well and get the same things/values.
A wife can never be your friend merely because they are a wife. That relationship is special. It's unique. Even if you had 5 wives, they are still not your friends. You should never talk to them as if they were your friend, because they are not your friend in the first place.
Men have the following (more or less) responsibilities to a wife, that are not required for any kind of friendship:
1. To ensure she is fed, clothed, and cared for.
2. To mentor and guide the children, especially the males.
3. Be the decision maker for the entire household.
4. Provide physical security.
5. Take care of relatives/inlaws (depending upon the culture and religion, as well as the need).
By this point you should be asking yourself. "Gee am I required to do any of these things for my buddies?" If that answer is yes, you are a fucking doormat, gay, hopelessly beta, or something worse than any of those things. If a friend of mine and I disagree on something, we go our separate ways on that issue. Why? Because we have no obligations to one another. Marriage, from a biblical perspective, is a covenant between a man and a woman because actual intimacy is involved. The circle of life runs between that pairing. That cannot happen in a fuck buddy relationship or any other kind of friendship. Friendship is a conditional arraignment. It marriages were followed and done correctly by Godly women in the US, there would be no type of female initiated divorces (minus abuse from the husband) and husbands would have no reason to abandon their wives either.
When men start trying to "befriend" women they want to get intimate with the following occurs:
1. Friendzone.
2. General lack of respect.
3. Lack of respect for leadership/direction and head of household.
4. The woman is given power to create a set of conditions and rules that are not in the previous ones I listed before nor in the Bible or other set of values.
5. It causes you to lose masculine frame.
6. Provides open permission for her to become hypergamous.
7. She breaks your balls and turns you into a slave.
8. Your friends around you and her's (and her family) lose respect for you.
9. It gives other's the impression that you can be bargained with in their favor easily.
10. Your own self esteem gets worse and self doubt will creep in more and more.
Now if you are just trying to fuck some broad, you can play the friend hamster game with them all you want, without giving a shit who else they are fucking. Marriage and LTR is different. You do not want this to happen so in order to avoid that, you
must put your foot down from day one and maintain frame.
I got millions of these but let me drop a couple:
Story 1:
Even when I was a beta, married to my exwife, I told her that when it comes to car buying. I am in charge and all decisions are final through me only. I gave her specific instructions that when we go look at the cars, the salesman is going to be a dick and try to talk to you and sidestep me and ask you what color you want, and if you want leather, etc. etc. Tell him: "Please ask my husband." "Thank you."
So we get there. Salesman did exactly what I told her, he would try. She told him a few colors and was giggling. He was even talking like a sissyfied fag with valley trash inflection to get her to loosen up. I said, "No thanks, we are leaving." He tried to recover everything, and I quickly cut him off and told him to shut the fuck up. She got a sad face and I pointed back to our car. I told her in the car that the salesman had now won, via divide and conquer strategy. He saw a weak husband that is cuckolded by his wife and he can toss his favorite fully loaded vehicles from his lineup at us preventing us from getting a decent deal. We will try this another time until you get it right.
Next week, we tried it again, she redirected and shut that prick down. We got the used car I already spotted in an ad that we discussed prior to meeting the sales guy.
How is this related? Could this happen with someone you consider your "friend" or someone you treat as a "friend"? No.
Story 2:
I am dating American chicks after my divorce. I was semi-redpill then. This one broad I was dating agrees to do dinner for a 3rd or 4th date, I forget. I asked her what kind of food she would like to try. She says fish/seafood, long answer short. I say okay I will find us a place. So when I take her to Eddie V's, she gets very defensive about it. "This is too much!" (She knows I am paying), but insists on complaining about it. It's not too much money for me and I wanted a reason to go there. That's still not the fucking point. So I tell her, "Look, you claim you are looking for a husband, leader, good role model, etc. etc. (basically I turned her bible studying and dumped it all over her), I picked a place and made a decision. You should be supportive of that decision, and respect the offer of this outing." "I am leading properly, why can't you follow me like a good spouse would do?"
She was pissed and it showed on her face, but she apologized and quickly shaped up and got with the program. I dumped her later for a different reason, but the example is still sound. A friendship would be a vote by committee. A marriage or LTR should be more like a dictatorship or an Autocracy. Not a fucking democracy. My current wife evens asks me to choose the clothes she wears. Before she even picks her underwear she asks me if the one she picks up is okay or not. My feminist relatives always try to ask her when is she going to get a job. Her answer is: "You have to ask <me>." "I am not allowed to work outside." Them: "Aren't you bored at home?" Her: "<Laugh> No, Never!". When they asked me why won't I let her work. I told them that it is my decision, none of anyone else's business, and nor is it up for discussion. So far it has not come up again.
Someone on RVF, I forget who has an excellent signature from Project Pat the rapper from 3 6 Mafia. "These bitches think they cool..." "I got the dick, so I make the rules."
That's the mindset you need when dealing with females.